Point of Retreat (16 page)

She looks back at her house, then at me. She looks torn. “No, I’ll just ask Eddie. I don’t think she has plans today.”

This isn’t what I need her to say. This isn’t going how I had planned.
Play it cool, Will.

“I’m just offering you a ride. We both need to go to Detroit anyway. It’s ridiculous to get Eddie involved just because you don’t want to talk to me right now.” I use the authoritative tone I’ve perfected on her. It usually works.

She hesitates.

"Lake, you can carve pumpkins the whole trip. Whatever you need. Just get in the car," I say.

She scowls at me and then turns and grabs her purse out of the jeep. “Fine. But don’t think this means anything.” She walks down the driveway and toward my car.

I’m glad she’s in front of me, because I can’t hide my excitement as I punch at the air with my fists. An entire day together is exactly what we need.

***

As soon as we pull away, she turns The Avett Brothers up on the car stereo; her way of letting me know she's carving pumpkins. The first few miles to Detroit are awkward. I keep wanting to bring everything up, but I don’t know how. Kel and Caulder will be with us on the way home, so I know if I want to lay it all out there, I have to do it now.

I reach over and turn the volume down. She’s got her foot propped up on the dash and she’s staring out the window in an attempt to avoid confrontation like she always does. When she notices I’ve turned down the volume, she glances at me and sees me staring at her, then returns her attention back out the window. “Don’t, Will. I told you…we need time. I don’t want to talk about it.”

She is so damn frustrating. I sigh and shake my head, feeling another round of defeat coming on. "Could you at least give me an estimate of how long you'll be carving pumpkins? It'd be nice to know how long I have to suffer," I say. I don't try and mask my aggravation. This
space
thing is really starting to annoy me. I can tell by her physical reaction that I said the absolute wrong thing again.

"I knew this was a bad idea," she mumbles.

My hands grip the steering wheel even tighter. You would think after a year I would have found a way to get through to her, or to manipulate her in some way. She’s almost impenetrable. I have to remind myself that her indomitable will is one of the reasons I fell in love with her in the first place.

Neither of us says another word during the remainder of the drive. It doesn't help that neither of us turns the radio back up, either. The entire trip is incredibly awkward as I try my best to search for the right thing to say and she tries her best to pretend I don’t exist. As soon as we arrive at the bookstore in Detroit and I pull into a parking spot, she swings open the car door and runs inside. I’d like to think she’s running from the cold, but I know she’s running from me. From confrontation.

While she’s inside, I get a text from my grandfather informing me that my grandmother is cooking us dinner. His text ended with the word “roast,” preceded by a hashtag.

"Great," I mutter to myself. I know Lake has no intentions of spending the evening with my grandparents. As soon as I text my grandfather letting him know we’re almost there, she returns to the car.

“They’re cooking dinner for us. We won't stay long,” I say.

She sighs. “How convenient. Well, then take me to get a new battery first so we can get it over with.”

I don’t respond as I pull out of the bookstore and head toward my grandparent’s house. She’s been to their house a couple of times before, so she knows when we get closer that I have no intentions of stopping at the store.

“You've passed like three stores that sell batteries," she says. "We need to get one now in case it's too late on our way back."

“You don’t need a battery. Your battery is fine,” I say.

I avoid looking over at her but I can see her watching me, waiting for more explanation.

I don’t immediately respond. I flick the blinker on and turn onto my grandparent’s street. When I pull into their driveway, I turn the car off and tell her the truth. What harm could it do at this point?

“I unhooked your battery cable before you tried to leave today.” I don’t wait for her reaction as I get out of the car and slam the door. I’m not sure why I slam the car door. I’m not mad at her, I’m just frustrated. Frustrated that she doubts me after all this time.

“You
what!
?” she yells. When she gets out of the car, she slams her door intentionally.

I keep walking, shielding the wind and snow with my jacket until I reach the front door. She rushes after me. I almost walk inside without knocking but remember how it feels, so I knock.

“I said I unhooked your battery cable. How else was I going to convince you to ride with me?”

"That's real mature, Will." She huddles closer to the front door, further away from the wind. I hear footsteps nearing the entryway from inside when she turns to face me. She opens her mouth like she's about to say something else, then rolls her eyes and turns away. The front door swings open and my grandmother steps aside to let us in.

“Hi Sara,” Lake says with a fake smile as she hugs my grandmother.

My grandmother returns her hug and I walk in behind them.

“You two got here just in time. Kel and Caulder are setting the table,” she says. “Will, take both your jackets and go put them in the dryer to get the snow off so they won’t be so wet when you leave.”

My grandmother walks back toward the kitchen and I remove my jacket and head to the laundry room without offering to take Lake’s. I smile when I hear her stomping angrily after me. Being the nice guy has obviously not helped my case at all, so I guess I’ll just start being the jerk. I throw my jacket into the dryer and step aside so she can do the same. After she shoves her jacket inside, she slams the dryer door shut and turns it on. She spins around to exit the laundry room but I'm blocking her way. She shoots me a dirty look and tries to ease passed me, but I don’t budge. She steps back and folds her arms across her chest and looks away, giving me the silent treatment. She’s going to stand here until I move out of her way. I’m going to stand here until she talks to me. I guess we'll be here all night.

She tightens her ponytail and leans against the dryer, crossing her legs at the ankles. I lean against the laundry room door and stand in the same position as I stare her down, waiting for something. I'm not sure what it is I'm trying to get out of her right now; I just want her to talk to me.

She wipes snow off the shoulder of her shirt. She's wearing the Avett shirt I bought her at the concert we went to no less than a month ago. We had the best time that night; I never would have imagined then that we would be in the predicament we’re in right now.

I finally give in and speak first. "You know, for someone giving me the silent treatment like a five-year-old, you sure are quick to accuse
me
of being immature."

She cocks her eyebrows at me and laughs. "Seriously? You have me trapped in a laundry room, Will! Who's being immature?"

She tries to move past me again, but I continue to block her way. She's flush against me now as she pathetically tries to shove against my chest to get by. I have to fight the urge to wrap my arms around her. We're practically face to face when she finally gives up again and stops pushing me. She's inches from me now, staring at the floor, waiting for me to get out of her way. She may have her doubts about my feelings for her, but there is no way she can doubt the sexual tension between us. I take her chin in my hand and gently pull her face toward mine.

“Lake,” I whisper. “I’m not sorry about what I did to your car. I’m desperate. I’d do anything at this point just to be with you. I miss you.”

She looks away so I bring my other hand to her face and force her to look me in the eyes. She tries to pull my hands away but I refuse to let go. The tension between us increases as we hold each other's stare. I can tell she wants to hate me so bad right now, but she loves me too much. There’s a struggle of emotion in her eyes. She can't decide whether or not she wants to punch me or kiss me.

I take advantage of her moment of weakness and slowly lean in and touch my lips to hers. She presses her hands against my chest and half-heartedly tries to push me away, but she doesn’t pull her mouth away from mine. Rather than honor her request for ‘space,’ I lean into her even further and part her lips with mine. Her hands weaken their pressure against my chest as her stubbornness finally caves and she lets me kiss her.

I place my hand on the back of her head and slowly move my lips in rhythm with hers. Our kiss is different this time. Rather than push it to the point of retreat like we've been doing, we continue to slowly kiss, pausing every few seconds to look at each other. It's almost as if neither of us believes this is happening. I feel like this kiss is my last chance to remove any doubt from her head, so I pour every single emotion I have into it. Now that I have her back in my arms, I’m afraid to let her go. I take a step forward and she takes a step back until we end up against the dryer. The situation we’re in reminds me of the last time we were alone together in a laundry room over a year ago.

It was the day after her kiss with Javi at Club N9NE. The moment I walked around his truck and saw his mouth on hers, I immediately felt a jealousy coupled with an intense hurt like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I had never been in a physical fight before. The fact that he was my student and I was his teacher was lost on me as soon as I began to pull him off of her. I don’t know what would have happened if Gavin wouldn't have shown up when he did.

The day after the fight when I heard Lake tell her version of events, I felt like such an idiot that I actually believed she had kissed him back. I knew her better than that, and hated myself for assuming the worst. As difficult as it was that day to allow her to continue to believe I had chosen my career over her, I knew it was the right thing to do at the time. That night in her laundry room though, I allowed my emotions to take control over my conscience, and I almost messed up the best thing that ever happened to me.

I push the fear of losing her again out of my mind as I continue to kiss her. She moves her hands to my neck, sending chills down my entire body. Slow and steady loses out as we simultaneously pick up the pace. When she runs her hands through my hair, it sends me over the edge. I grab her by the waist and lift her up until she's seated on the dryer. Out of every single kiss we've ever shared, this is by far the best. I place my hands on the outside of her thighs and pull her to the edge of the dryer and she wraps her legs around me. Just as my lips meet the spot directly below her ear, she gasps and shoves against my chest.

“Eh hem,” my grandmother says, rudely interrupting one of the best moments of my life.

Lake immediately jumps off the dryer and I step back. My grandmother is standing in the doorway with her arms crossed, glaring at us. Lake straightens her shirt out and looks down at her feet, embarrassed.

“Well it’s nice to see you two made up,” my grandmother says, eyeing me disapprovingly. “Dinner is ready when you can find the time to join us at the table.” She turns and walks away.

As soon as she’s gone, I turn back to Lake and wrap my arms around her again. “Babe, I’ve missed you so bad.”

“Stop,” she says, pulling away from me. "Just stop."

Her sudden hostility is unexpected...and confusing. “What do you mean
stop
? You were just kissing me back, Lake."

She looks up at me, agitated. She seems disappointed in herself. "I guess I had a
weak moment
," she says in a mocking tone.

I recognize the phrase, and more than likely deserve her reaction.

"Lake, quit doing this to yourself. I know you love me."

She lets out a sigh as though she's unsuccessfully trying to get through to a child. “Will, I’m not struggling with whether or not I love
you
. It’s whether or not you really love
me
.” She heads into the dining room, leaving me behind in yet another laundry room.

I punch the wall, frustrated at what just happened between us. I thought for a second I finally got through to her. I don't know how much longer I can take this. She's starting to piss me off.

***

“This roast is delicious, Sara," Lake says to my grandmother. "You'll have to give me the recipe."

I snatch the bowl of potatoes off the table in front of me and silently seethe at the way Lake is so casually exchanging pleasantries with my grandmother. I have no appetite, but I pile on the food anyway. I know my grandmother and if I don’t eat, she’ll be offended. I scoop potatoes onto my plate, then take an exaggerated spoonful and drop them onto Lake's plate, right on top of her roast. She's seated next to me, doing her best to pretend nothing is amiss as she eyes the massive mound of potatoes in front of her. I don't know if she's putting on this fake display of happiness for my grandparent's sake or for Kel and Caulder's sake. Maybe for the sake of all of them.

"Layken, did you know Grandpaul used to be in a band?" Kel says.

"No, I didn’t. And did you just call him Grandpaul?" Lake says.

"Yeah. That's my new name for him."

"I like it," my grandfather says. "Can I call you Grandkel?"