Point of No Return (7 page)

The aroma of fresh coffee greeted me when next I opened my eyes. I sat up from where I’d been slumped in the hospital bed, wincing as my neck and back gave sharp protests. I automatically glanced next to me, then froze when I saw the space was empty.

“They took him for some more tests.”

I jerked around to see Blane leaning against the wall, sipping a cup of coffee. Shit. I hadn’t left in time to avoid him, and after our conversation yesterday, I was all about avoiding. He looked put together and perfect, his slate-gray suit one of my favorites. The scent of his cologne wafted toward me, reminding me that I still smelled like stale booze. Nice.

I disappeared into the bathroom, splashing some water on my face and trying to make myself look like I hadn’t spent the night again squished next to Kade. I didn’t think I was successful.

I had no idea what to say to Blane when I came out, though I felt like I should say something.

“Do you have court today?” I asked, desperately searching for small talk.

Blane’s steely gray gaze slid my way. “Yes.” He didn’t elaborate, taking another sip of coffee and glancing back out the window.

Okay, well, it wasn’t like I couldn’t read that “fuck off” message.

The tension was like thick cotton pressing on my lungs. I wanted to say something else, but didn’t know what could possibly break through the wall between us. Blane was shutting me out, his face absolutely blank as he sipped his coffee. He glanced at the clock on the wall and then out the window, ignoring me completely.

But there was nothing I could say to or ask of him. He owed me nothing. Now I was merely one among the many exes that littered his history.

I’d known it would be bad, despite what he’d said to the contrary. I just hadn’t realized
how
bad, or how much it would hurt.

It was the morning of the thirteenth day that Kade had been hospitalized. The doctor was optimistic about releasing him the next day. I’d slept fitfully and was groggy, though it was later in the morning than when I usually left.

“You all right?” Kade asked, his brow furrowing as he looked at me.

“I’m fine,” I said automatically, adding a smile. He was doing so well, his healing progressing perfectly, and looked much better. “I’m just going to splash some water on my face and go.”

“You don’t have to jump up and leave so fast,” he said, grabbing hold of my arm as I made to get out of the bed.

But I knew Blane would be there soon, and glancing at the clock I realized it would be sooner rather than later. My stomach knotted at even the thought of seeing him again.

“I’ve got to feed Tigger,” I lied, slipping out of his grip. “And do laundry. But I’ll be back tonight.”

“Don’t come back,” Kade said.

That made me pause. “What?”

“You look exhausted,” he said bluntly. “Go home. You’ll sleep better there.”

I shook my head. “Forget it. And since you’re still lying in a hospital bed, you can’t make me.”

But Kade didn’t smile at my teasing. His hand reached out to cup my cheek. The concern in his eyes made me relent.

“I’m just tired,” I said. “But I want to be here. I
need
to be here. Don’t make me stay away.”

The desperation I couldn’t conceal leached into my voice and Kade must’ve heard it, because he nodded, though the worry I saw in his eyes didn’t ebb.

I couldn’t really put into words how much Blane’s utter disregard bothered me. What I did know was that if I was cut off from Kade, too, I felt like I’d fall apart. I’d grown to need the both of them so much—too much—and now it seemed I would be crippled without them.

And it wasn’t anything I could say aloud. The feelings didn’t make sense. It was selfish of me, needy, and yet I felt what I felt. So I tried to hide it the best I could. I deserved nothing from Blane, actually deserved far worse than his cold indifference. He was being kind just to tolerate me.

All those thoughts and more assailed me as I stood in the bathroom. They’d taken Kade for more tests, the last he’d undergo before he’d be discharged. I’d heard Blane come in just as Kade was leaving, heard them exchange a few words. I’d been hiding in the bathroom ever since. I felt strange this morning, weak. But I’d skipped dinner again last night, so that was probably why.

I looked at my watch for the fifth time. Ten minutes had passed. I was such a coward. But the longer I took, the weirder it would seem when I came out, so I took a fortifying breath, forcing myself to turn the knob and open the door.

Blane glanced around from where he stood by the window, sipping coffee as usual. He seemed surprised to see me and I realized he hadn’t known I was there.

“I-I was just leaving,” I stammered.

His gaze shuttered as he gave a curt nod, not even bothering to speak to me. He was dressed for work, of course, in a black suit and tie, the linen of his shirt a stark white that contrasted with the golden tan of his skin. As always, I felt like the poor relation, with my slept-in clothes and tousled hair. It seemed he had the same thought, as his eyes traveled a path down to my worn flip-flops before he turned back to the window.

Cheeks burning, I hastily turned away, a move I instantly regretted as the room tilted in my vision and I had to grab on to the bathroom door to keep from falling. A wave of dizziness swept over me and I swayed on my feet. Distantly, I heard my name spoken right before my knees buckled, and then the sound of something hitting the floor. Everything went dark.

Yelling. Lots of yelling. But it was muffled, like cotton was stuffed in my ears.

I opened my eyes and saw Blane’s face above me, dismay etched on his features. He called out something, and I realized it had been him yelling.

“What
. . . 
?” I managed to ask, glancing around. I was mostly lying on the floor, though Blane had his arm around my back, holding my head in the crook of his elbow. Coffee was splattered in a puddle on the floor by the window, an empty cup lying on its side.

“You fainted,” Blane said, the words not quite as muffled.

I felt like I couldn’t move, my limbs so heavy it seemed they were held to the floor by invisible weights. I closed my eyes.

“Kat! Wake up, baby. Can you hear me?” Blane’s urgent voice penetrated my haze and I opened my eyes again.

My head was beginning to clear and now embarrassment crept over me. I made myself sit up. This was what I got for not eating or sleeping enough. I’d made a fool of myself in front of Blane. The desperate need to get out of there had me scrambling to my feet, forcing my weak knees to work like they were supposed to.

“Take it easy,” Blane said, hovering close enough that I suspected he thought I might faint again.

Just then, a nurse poked her head in the door. “Is everything all right?” she asked. “I heard someone yelling for help.”

“She needs a doctor,” Blane replied.

“I’m fine,” I said.

“You just fainted,” Blane retorted, his eyes narrowing. “You’re not fine.”

“I’m tired,” I said. “I skipped dinner last night, so probably low blood sugar or something. I’m fine.”

Our eyes were locked in a battle of wills.

“How are you feeling now?” the nurse said, heading purposefully toward me. She scrutinized my face.

“Better,” I lied, hoping she’d just let it go. Blane had paid my last hospital bill, albeit without my knowledge or consent, after I’d gotten hit by a car. But I doubted he’d be doing that again. I couldn’t afford a bunch of tests that would end up telling me what I already knew: I was overly tired and hadn’t been taking very good care of myself. “I’m just tired.”

“I can’t let you leave without having a doctor take a look,” she explained. “Liability reasons. Can you come with me?”

Shit.

I glared at Blane, who blandly smiled.

“As a lawyer, I’d have to agree with the nurse,” he said. “You leaving would put them at risk should something happen on your way home.”

There was nothing I could say to that and Blane knew it. I gritted my teeth and followed the nurse from the room.

She led me to another room not far away and asked me to sit on the bed and wait while she got a doctor. Twenty minutes later, they’d taken a blood sample for tests while I answered fifty thousand questions from the doctor as she shone a light in my eyes.

“The tests should be done shortly,” she said, pocketing the light. “Why don’t you rest here and I’ll be back?”

I reluctantly agreed and she left. After staring at the wall for twenty minutes, I got bored. Fishing my cell from my pocket, I called Alisha.

“Hey,” I said when she answered. “Are you at work today?”

“Unfortunately,” she said. “Why?”

I bit back my disappointment. “Nothing. Just wanted to say hi.”

“What happened?” Alisha was pretty perceptive.

I told her about Blane showing up and me passing out. “Now I’m stuck waiting for them to finish so I can leave,” I said. “Besides feeling like a complete idiot.”

“It’s not like it’s your fault,” Alisha said.

“I know, but still.” I sighed.

“He’s still controlling your life! God, I swear! Can’t he just leave you alone? If you didn’t want to see a doctor, then that’s your decision.” She paused in the midst of her anti-Blane tirade. “Though I think it’s a good idea that you are.”

“Traitor,” I said without heat.

“Well, I know I’ll feel better about it if a doctor gives you a clean bill of health,” she said. “So just this one time, I’ll agree with Blane.”

“You were just all mad at him for making me do something!”

“I have a lot of hidden anger,” she protested.

“Hidden? Really?” My sarcasm was thick though I was grinning, too.

“Okay, maybe not so hidden,” she allowed.

A knock on the door had me saying, “Doctor’s back. Gotta go.”

“Okay, call me and tell me what he says.”

“It’s a she.”

“Whatever.”

I ended the call just as the doctor entered.

“That took a little while,” I said.

She smiled as she pulled a little stool on wheels over next to where I sat. “I apologize,” she said. “We like to be thorough.”

Something about the way she said that, the way she smiled, set off alarm bells in my head, and the leftover grin from my conversation with Alisha faded.