Point of No Return (5 page)

“Do you
want
to see me?”

My answer was immediate. “Yes.”

“Then come to me.” The low growl of his voice sent a delicious shiver through me.

My smile was wide as I said, “I’ll be there soon.” I ended the call and bounded out of bed, slipping on flip-flops and grabbing my purse before bolting out the door.

I made record time to the hospital and was now an expert at avoiding nurses as I crept to Kade’s room. When I slowly pushed open the door, I realized the machines had been removed. That was a good sign. That meant they’d be releasing him soon, I hoped.

I tiptoed into the room, conscious that Kade might have fallen asleep. My eyes hadn’t adjusted yet when I felt hands descend on my shoulders. I yelped in surprise, spinning around to see Kade standing behind me.

“You scared me,” I said, slightly breathless.

Kade’s face was steeped in shadow, whereas the meager light filtering in through the window in the door fell on me.

“You’re out of bed!” I said, a wide smile breaking across my face with the realization. “That’s fantastic!”

“Took a shower. Sick of sitting on my ass.”

I took a step or two back to put some space between us, then promptly forgot everything I was going to say.

Kade was completely naked.

Oh God.

“Wh-where’s your
. . .
your
. . .
” I stammered, my mind coming up empty. Bandages still covered the wounds in his chest, but it didn’t detract from the hard lines of muscle. His arms were relaxed at his sides, the veins standing out in stark relief from hours of pumping iron. My eyes dropped lower to see that being shot hadn’t affected Kade’s libido in the slightest. My mouth watered at the sight.

He did nothing to cover himself as my hungry gaze devoured him, and when I finally jerked my eyes back up to his, the smirk I knew so well curved his lips.

“See something you like?”

Kade’s low drawl had heat curling low in my belly.

“C’mere,” he said, crooking a finger to beckon me. His hair was still damp, the dark locks a midnight black, and he’d shaved.

I stepped forward, unable to resist the compulsion to obey him.

His hands rested on my hips and he tugged me closer until our bodies touched. Leaning down, his lips grazed my cheek, then whispered down my jaw to my neck.

“You smell like him,” Kade murmured against my skin.

I stiffened, my eyes flying open. I tried to step back, but Kade’s fingers bit into my flesh, holding me still. I didn’t know what to say. Should I apologize? My face grew hot and that squirmy feeling came back into my belly, the feeling like I was doing something wrong.

“I don’t care if you go to bed smelling like him, so long as you wake up smelling like me.”

Kade’s words had barely registered before he was kissing me. His taste was dark and dangerous. Addictive. I couldn’t get enough, and it seemed he couldn’t, either. Our tongues dueled while his hands roamed, sliding inside my shorts to cup my backside and hold me closer to him. The heat of his palm seemed to brand my skin. I couldn’t resist the temptation any longer and reached around him to squeeze his amazing ass. He groaned, the sound quickly consumed by our mouths. His cock grew harder as it pressed insistently against me. It took everything I had not to shove my shorts and underwear down my legs and climb him like a tree.

“You shouldn’t be doing this,” I gasped, pulling my lips from his. “You’re not well yet.”

Kade took my hand from his ass and wrapped it around his straining erection. “Does that feel like I’m not well?”

Desire pooled between my legs, soaking my panties.

“We can’t,” I said, though my words seemed a far cry from my actions as I gripped him, my hand sliding up and down his length.

“Then you’d better stop doing that,” Kade rasped.

Somehow, I managed to make myself release him and step away. I devoured him with my eyes, the fire burning in his gaze making me want to rip off my clothes and damn the consequences.

“Probably wasn’t the best idea to come here,” I admitted, forcing my eyes to look away. “I should go.”

“Don’t,” he said, taking a step toward me. “Don’t go. I’ll be good.”

I glanced at him and the skepticism must have shown on my face, because he followed up with “Scout’s honor.”

I rolled my eyes—Kade had never been a Boy Scout—but watched as he slid back into bed, pulling the sheet up to his waist. It didn’t hide the fact that he was still aroused, but at least it provided something of a barrier between his skin and mine.

“That better?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Not really,
I thought with an internal sigh of disappointment. It seemed a shame to waste his
. . .
energy. Shoving the errant thought aside, I climbed into bed beside him, nestling against his side while he curled an arm around my shoulders. I rested my hand on his chest, careful to avoid the bandages. The strong beat of his heart echoed against my fingertips, reassuring me.

“So Blane took you on a date tonight,” Kade said rather than asked.

“It wasn’t really a date,” I said. “Just dinner.”

“Did he pay?”

“Yes.”

“Did he kiss you?”

A bit of a hesitation this time. “Yes.”

“Then it was a date.” He paused for a moment before he spoke again. “It seems it’s going to be an all-out war for you, princess,” he mused.

I lifted my head, alarmed. “No,” I denied. “I don’t want that.”

“You say that as if you have a choice,” he replied, his tone derisive.

“I won’t have you two fighting over
. . .
over me,” I stammered, struggling to sit up and slide out of the bed. Kade’s grip tightened on me. “It’s ridiculous.”

Kade moved, turning so he lay half on top of me, pinning me to the bed. The sheet slid away and his leg pressed between mine.

“I want you,” he growled. “And I’m not giving up. Not now. Blane’s going to wine and dine you? That’s fine with me. I’ll just use sex to make you mine.”

I opened my mouth to argue that there was no point to it. Kade himself had said there was no future for us. But before I could, his leg moved and his hand was inside my shorts, his fingers slipping between my thighs. My words strangled in my throat.

Kade’s lips brushed mine, his tongue tracing my lower lip before he drew it into his mouth to lightly suck the tender flesh. His hand stroked me and my nails dug into his shoulders. “You’re so wet for me,” he murmured. “Like liquid silk.”

“I thought you were going to be good,” I managed to gasp.

“It will be,” he whispered. “Just spread your legs for me, baby.”

I couldn’t reply, forming words as far from my current ability to function as it was for me to perform cold fusion. Obediently, I opened my thighs to him, then I was lost in his touch, the taste of him as he kissed me, the feel of his body over mine. My fingers were buried in his hair, the long strands soft and damp.

He slid a finger inside me, then two, pumping them with slow, deliberate strokes while his thumb teased my clit. I moaned into his mouth as the blood in my veins pulsed in time to his fingers.

I had to tear my mouth from his so I could breathe, my panting gasps and moans filling my ears. Kade shoved my tank up, baring my breasts. His mouth fastened over a nipple and I cried out. My body was on fire, every sense focused utterly on what he was doing to me. His teeth tugged and his hand moved faster. A keening cry fell from my throat as stars exploded behind my eyes. I could feel my body convulsing, gripping his fingers as my orgasm washed over me. I pulled at his hair and his lips came back to mine. I sucked his tongue into my mouth, arching my back so my overly sensitive nipples grazed his chest.

Kade groaned, his fingers still buried inside me. It took a long moment before sanity returned. Kade’s mouth moved to my neck, nuzzling the tender skin beneath my ear.

My body felt boneless, the aftershocks still rippling through me. In the dark room with just us, nothing seemed more right than Kade’s and my bodies pressed together.

“That
. . .
that was
. . .
” I couldn’t come up with words that didn’t sound
. . .
inadequate. How to describe the way Kade made me feel? Not just sexually, but how happy I was when I was with him?

Kade’s breath was warm against my neck. He slowly withdrew his fingers, making me whimper. Though his fingers had been a fabulous substitute, I wanted him.

“This hasn’t exactly left you satisfied,” I said, my voice throatier than usual. I could feel his cock, still hard as a rock against my thigh. It had to be uncomfortable for him.

“Well, this wasn’t about me,” Kade said, stretching back onto his side next to me.

“What was it about?” I asked, tugging my shirt back down.

His smirk made my stomach flutter. “It was about reminding you of how good we are together,” he said.

Yes, sex with Kade was very, very good. And yet
. . .
“Is that all?”

His brows furrowed slightly. “What do you mean?”

I didn’t want to say it, didn’t want to push. I knew only too well how quickly Kade could run hot and cold. The last time I’d asked him to offer me something, he’d walked away. My heart sank.

I shook my head. “Forget it. Never mind.” I scooted out of his hold. “Listen, I’d better go. Let you get some sleep—”

Kade latched onto my arm, pulling me back. “What’s wrong?” he demanded. His eyes narrowed as he studied me.

“Nothing,” I insisted, avoiding his gaze as I tugged on my arm but was unable to break his grip. “It’s just late, that’s all.” Exhaustion was creeping over me. I’d made out with Blane just hours ago, then I’d just done
. . .
that
. . .
with Kade. I was turning into someone I despised.

“Bullshit.”

Tears stung my eyes. I had to get out of there. “Let me go?” I pleaded. Reluctantly, Kade released me. His expression was pained and I had to look away. “Get some rest, okay?” I babbled. “I’ll
. . .
uh
. . .
I’ll see you later.”

“Kathleen, wait—” Kade called, but I was out the door and hurrying down the empty hallway, my flip-flops echoing in the silence.

Tears were tracking down my cheeks as I hurried to my car. This was getting out of hand and I had no idea what to do. When I thought about losing Blane and Kade, the pain was nearly overwhelming. But when I considered the events of the past couple of days, how I was leading on both of the men I loved, I died a little inside.

Something had to break, before I did.

C
HAPTER
T
HREE

B
ad dreams plagued me that night, with images of Kade lying on the ground and blood everywhere. It coated my hands and my clothes as I tried over and over to wake him. His sightless blue eyes stared at nothing as I screamed and screamed
. . .

I came awake with a start, the tang of blood still in my nostrils, and launched myself to the bathroom. The seafood from the night before combined with a gut-wrenching nightmare apparently didn’t agree with me.
So much for having a nice dinner,
I thought, wiping my mouth before stepping into the shower.

When I got out and went into the kitchen to pour a cup of coffee, still wrapped in a towel, I saw I had a missed phone call on my cell.

Blane.

I dropped the phone back onto the counter as though it burned, turning away to pour my coffee. I couldn’t see Blane, not after last night. I had hardly been able to look myself in the mirror this morning, much less face him knowing I’d gone straight from his arms to Kade’s.

I pulled on a pair of shorts and a tank top and decided I’d tackle cleaning my apartment. I didn’t have to go to work until four, so I had some time. It kept my mind off things, cleaning and scrubbing. The last thing I wanted to do was think. If I started thinking, then I’d have to come to terms with not only what I’d done last night—with Blane and Kade—but I’d have to face making the decision I didn’t want to make.

It was when I was scrubbing out the kitchen sink that I felt water touch my bare toes. Jumping back, I saw the reason for it all too clearly.

“Oh no,” I moaned, hurriedly shedding my rubber gloves and turning off the water. But it didn’t matter. The water kept oozing from the cupboard under the sink. I hurriedly pulled it open, watching in dismay as water sprayed from the pipes, coating everything. Another gush of water came out and soaked the floor. Now I was standing in water.

“Shit-shit-shit!” I ran to get towels from the bathroom, layering them on the floor and crouching on my hands and knees to get under the sink to turn off the water valve. The damn pipe sprayed water all over my face, hair, and chest until I was soaked. The stupid valve was stuck and refused to turn. I hauled everything out from under the sink and climbed in farther, using both hands now to try and turn the valve.

“Goddammit!” I yelled in frustration, backing out from under the sink. I raised my head too soon, though, and smacked it on the counter. I yelped in pain, tears springing to my eyes.

It was the last straw and I fell back on my butt in the middle of the watery floor and started bawling, my face buried on my wet knees. Not the most logical response, but the most I was emotionally capable of at the moment.

The noise of my front door opening had me lifting my head.

Blane had let himself in, his eyes wide with surprise as he took in the water spewing from under the sink and me, sitting in the middle of the floor, crying and looking like a drowned rat.

He seemed to collect himself pretty quickly, though, and grasped what was happening. Hurrying in, he said with a soft smile, “Plumbing problems?”

I sniffed and nodded, a hiccup escaping.

Discarding his jacket and tossing it onto a chair, he walked over to the sink.

“No! Wait! Blane, you’ll ruin your suit!” But it was too late or he didn’t care. Leaning under the sink, he turned the valve, shutting the water off in seconds.

“There,” he said, standing back up. “That’s better.”

I swiped a hand across my cheeks, but it was pointless trying to wipe away tears. I was soaked. My hair hung in a wet ponytail and my clothes were so sodden, they were dripping.

Blane looked down at me, the corners of his lips tipped up slightly. He held out a hand, which I took.

“You all right?” he asked as he helped me to my feet.

“It’s okay to laugh,” I grumbled. “I know I look ridiculous.”

Blane chuckled. “I didn’t say that. Why don’t you get cleaned up and I’ll see what I can do about your problem?”

That sounded like a good idea and I hurried into the bedroom, anxious to get dry. I toweled my hair before changing my clothes, then headed back to the kitchen. Blane was finishing mopping the floor.

“Well, this is a sight I never thought I’d see.” I couldn’t help but tease him.

He looked up and grimaced. “I can think of only one person I’d mop a floor for, and I’m doing it now.”

He said it jokingly, but my smile grew strained.

“I’ll just call the super and tell him to come by and fix it, now that you’ve got the water turned off,” I said, heading for the phone. A few minutes later, I’d reported the leak and the super said someone from maintenance would be over later.

Blane helped me take the waterlogged towels down to the washing machine, then followed me back upstairs.

“So, um, what did you need?” I asked, taking a seat on the couch. Realizing that didn’t sound very gracious after he’d just stopped my leak, I added, “Not that I’m not grateful you’re here.”

“You didn’t answer your phone this morning,” Blane said, sitting down next to me and resting an arm on the back of the couch. “I thought I’d come by, see if you wanted to go to lunch.” His hand dropped, the backs of his knuckles brushing the bare skin of my arm.

“I’m not dressed very nice,” I said, wondering if lunch was a good idea. My skin tingled where he’d touched me and I thought I should move away, but I didn’t.

Blane shrugged. “It’s just lunch.”

My conscience was screaming at me to tell him no, that I had to end things with both him and Kade, but I couldn’t obey.

“Um, okay. Just give me a minute.” I got up and headed back to my bedroom to brush out my hair. I avoided my eyes in the mirror. I could have lunch with Blane. There was nothing wrong with that.

A flash of Kade in my mind, his fingers inside me, his mouth on mine.

The brush clattered as it hit the dresser, dropping from my hands as I clutched the sides of my head, squeezing my eyes shut.

I was lying to myself, and I knew it.

“It doesn’t matter,” I muttered. “Your time is ticking away. Enjoy it while you can.” I just wanted to spend a little time with Blane, enjoy being with him, his company. It seemed like the time we’d had together had been fraught with danger and drama. Now that it seemed things had finally settled down, I was loath to put an end to our relationship. No matter the many reasons why I should.

Putting on some sandals, I went back to the living room where Blane was waiting. He got to his feet, not seeming to mind that I was in a pair of white shorts and a black T-shirt.

“I’ll drive,” he said.

I followed him out the door, locking it behind me. I jogged down the steps after him, then stopped short in surprise.

“Oh my God! You got a new car!”

Blane had slid his sunglasses on and he grinned at me. “What do you think?”

It was another Jaguar, but brand-spanking-new and just
. . .
wow. Silver metallic, it was a four-door, sleek, and gorgeous.

“It’s amazing!” I enthused.

“Wanna drive it?”

My jaw dropped and I stared at him. “Are you kidding me?”

Blane tossed me the keys. “Let’s take her for a spin.”

I squealed with delight, hurrying to the driver’s side as Blane slid into the passenger seat. He tossed his jacket in the back and I noticed the Glock wedged firmly in its holster at his side.

The engine turned over with a purr and I adjusted the seat for my considerably shorter legs. I took a deep breath, glancing at Blane. He was smiling and so was I. I looked up and was shocked again. The entire roof was made of tinted glass.

“Wow
. . .
” I breathed.

“Let’s go,” Blane urged.

I tore my gaze away from the roof and carefully backed the car up. I was almost too nervous to drive. Almost. With a gleeful laugh, we tore out of the lot.

Blane told me where to drive and I barely paid attention where we were heading, being too wrapped up in how amazing an experience it was to drive a car like this.

We were soon on an open country road, and Blane said, “Open her up.”

I glanced over. “I can’t do that! What if I get a ticket?”

Blane lowered his glasses, peering at me over the tops. His grin was wicked. “I know a great lawyer.”

I laughed and gave in to the urge to go just a little faster. Okay, maybe a little more—it was just so easy and the car seemed to grip the road as it ate up the miles.

Finally, Blane directed me onto an exit and had me pull into what looked to be a park. It was nice, with huge shade trees and manicured grass. Since it was the middle of the week, no one was there at this time of day.

“I don’t know what kind of hoity-toity restaurants they have in this itty-bitty town,” I teased. “You may have to settle for a fast food cheeseburger for lunch.”

Blane got out and so did I. “No, I won’t,” he said, popping open the trunk. “Surprise.”

Curious, I stepped toward the trunk to see what was inside. Oh God.

There was a picnic basket and a blanket.

“I thought we could have a picnic,” Blane said.

I swallowed. The last picnic I’d been on had been with Kade, and we’d—

“Um, yeah, sure,” I said brightly, cutting off that thought.

Blane frowned. “Is that okay? Because if it’s not, we can—”

“No, no, it’s fine,” I interrupted. “A picnic sounds great.” So what if it made me feel like I was cheating on Kade? I wasn’t. He and I weren’t together. I was his go-to booty-call girl and yes, he loved me and I loved him, but you couldn’t build a life together out of a booty-call relationship.

I grabbed the blanket while Blane took out the picnic basket, then followed him into the park. Finding just the perfect spot took a few minutes, and I hid a smile as Blane dismissed certain areas for “not enough shade” or being “too rocky.” Finally, he designated the spot.

“You’re sure?” I teased. “Before we spread the blanket and everything, because if you’re not sure, we can keep looking.”

“Smartass,” he retorted, setting the basket down and taking the blanket from me. A few quick snaps of his hands, and the fabric floated perfectly to the ground.

I slipped off my shoes before settling down, then waited as Blane sat down, too. He looked a bit incongruous, sitting on a blanket under a tree with a shirt and tie on. I watched as he dug into the basket, producing two bottles of water and sandwiches.

“Where’d you get this stuff?” I asked, taking a chicken salad sandwich from him.

“Mona made it,” he said, unearthing more food.

I’d skipped breakfast after the puking incident, so was starving now. Mona’s cooking was good incentive and I ate the sandwich embarrassingly fast. She’d also packed strawberries and I eyed Blane as I ate those more slowly.

“Blane, when was the last time you went on a picnic?” He just didn’t seem like the picnic kind of guy. He’d finished his sandwich, too, and was now resting back on his elbows, his long legs stretched out in front of him, ankles crossed.

His smile was a bit sheepish. “Years, I’m sure. I’ve probably not willingly sat on the ground to eat since I was deployed.”

“So why now?” I asked. “Why today?”

“I thought you’d like it,” he said. “And I wanted to see you.”

I gave an inward sigh and lay down on my back, looking up at the puffy clouds drifting across the sky.

“Is that wrong? Am I not supposed to want to see you?” A defensive note had crept into Blane’s questions.

“Of course not,” I said. “I want to see you, too.” Which was true. If I could just get Kade out of my head, maybe the feelings I had for him would go away and I could feel what I should feel—what I used to feel—for Blane.

It was quiet for a few minutes, each of us seeming lost in our own thoughts. The breeze rustled the leaves on the trees. I could so take a nap right there. My eyes had just drifted closed when Blane spoke.

“I’ve decided to pull out of the governor’s race.”

My eyes shot open and I twisted so I could see him. “What?” Surely I’d misheard.

“I’m dropping out,” Blane repeated, discarding his sunglasses.

“But
. . .
but why?” I stammered, stunned. “You’ve been working for this for years. Why would you drop out?”

“I told you before that I wasn’t sure I wanted it anymore,” he said. “Kade getting hurt, losing you. It just showed me how badly I’d prioritized the things in my life, people in my life.” He paused. “Plus I want to break from my uncle. He has a lot to answer for.”

I couldn’t disagree. Keaston and his interference had nearly cost both Kade and me our lives.

“So what are you going to do?” I asked.

“In my career or about my uncle?”

“Both.”

“I’ll keep practicing for now. I might run for office again someday, maybe. It’s all well and good to have ambitions and success, it just took me a while to realize that they don’t mean anything if I don’t have someone to share it with.” His eyes were on mine as he said this, and I had to glance away.