Plain Fear: Forgiven: A Novel (29 page)

A quilt had been laid out beneath the old willow, and the three babies—two twin brothers and the other a cousin—scooched around on the squares. The oldest, David, plucked at the grass blades along the edges. The willow branches danced over their heads in the soft, spring breeze. The boys’ mothers kept a careful eye on their babies, chatted, and helped Naomi hang the laundry on the line.

Naomi pulled a cotton sheet out of the basket. The cold, wet material slapped her arms as she lifted one corner to the wire and secured it in place. Rachel stretched the material along the line.

“It’s such a beautiful day,” Hannah said, reaching into the laundry basket as well, “that it’s hard to believe only a few days ago there was so much terror.”

Rachel nodded. “Are you doing all right, Naomi? Both Hannah and I understood what was happening, but you were in the dark for a while.”

“Evil is evil, and I knew the Lord would protect me.”

Hannah placed a hand on Naomi’s arm. “You are far wiser than I was at your age.”

“If so, it’s the Lord’s doing.”

Rachel walked back toward them. “Every day is a blessing. And we must enjoy each as we can.”

Hannah’s gaze slid toward her twin boys. “And each child is a blessing too.” She gave her sister a nudge. “So when are you and Roc going to give David a little brother?”

Rachel’s hand fluttered over her apron. “Soon I hope. ’Tis a lesson you should heed, if at first you don’t succeed…”

Hannah laughed. “Try, try again.” Her cheeks reddened beneath the morning sun. Her gaze shifted toward Naomi, and she cleared her throat delicately. “We’re embarrassing someone.”

“Oh no.” But Naomi felt her face burning. “I’ll check on the boys.” She moved to the quilt and sat on one corner, where she could monitor the babies. Gabriel pushed up on his forearms and his little neck strained like a turtle’s as he looked around with big blue eyes. Gideon frog kicked his way around the quilt. David pinched a blade of grass and stuck it in his mouth.

“No, no,” Naomi said, taking the grass away. She replaced it with a wooden rattle. He banged it against the ground, and Gideon attempted to turn around but flopped over. She situated the baby so he could see but not get whacked in the head. Smoothing a hand over the downy soft hair, she smiled at the happy trio.

Hannah and Rachel joined her, strategically sitting at the edges of the quilt. Hannah patted Gabriel’s back. “I wonder if Levi’s mother had as much fun with her three boys. Of course, they were of different ages.”

“Wait until they start crawling.” Rachel caught her son as he lunged forward onto all fours and began scrambling off the quilt. “You might not think it this much fun.”

The two sisters shared a smile. Naomi stretched out her legs to prevent Gideon from rolling off the quilt. His little fist grabbed hold of her skirt. “You are both blessed.”

“We are,” Hannah agreed. “Now what about you? Now that things have settled down, is Samuel back to courting you?”

Naomi’s heart faltered. She ducked her chin and focused on the baby beside her, cupping the chubby bare foot.

“I’m sorry,” Hannah said. “I shouldn’t have said anything…I was just hoping to have you for a sister someday soon.”

“It’s not your fault.” Naomi shook her head but didn’t trust tears not to spill from her eyes, so she kept her gaze on the baby’s blond head. The hair blurred.

Hannah reached over and touched Naomi’s hand. “I was inconsiderate. Please forgive me?”

Naomi blinked to clear her vision and offered a weak smile. “There’s nothing to forgive.”

Leaning over, Hannah gave Naomi a hug. For a second, she sagged against her friend and tears sprang forth. But she sniffed and pulled away, brushed her hand across her damp cheeks.

“It’s all right. I’m okay, I reckon.” Naomi straightened her spine and tucked her feet beneath her. “I made a mistake is all. I allowed my feelings to run rampant, for Samuel to know…and he’d already made his decision.” Her bottom lip quivered and she trapped it between her teeth. “He’s not going to live Amish anymore. You know that. It’s not a secret after all that’s happened. And he wants to keep me safe…away from all of that. It’s because he cares.” She tilted her head and met the concerned gazes of Rachel and Hannah, tried to offer them a reassuring smile but faltered. “I should take comfort in the knowing of that.”

Rachel and Hannah looked as unconvinced as Naomi felt. She squeezed her eyes shut, then forced them open. “I understand and respect his decision.” She picked up Gideon and snuggled his warm body against her. He gave her a happy, toothless grin, which melted her heart into a puddle of dismay. Sighing, she added, “But why does a man get to make the decision?” Her face suddenly burned with shame at this unexpected outburst. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

“Oh, Naomi.” Hannah moved toward her and placed an arm around her shoulders. “You know what Rachel did, don’t you?”

“I asked Roc to marry me.” Laughter bubbled out of her. “I did. Plain and simple.”

Naomi shook her head. “I could never do that.”

“But I know what you could do,” Hannah said. “Pray. Let’s pray together.
For
where
two
or
three
are
gathered
together
in
my
name…
”

Naomi answered with the rest, “
There
am
I
in
the
midst
of
them
.”

After the evening meal and final chores, after the men had gone in different directions—Father Anthony and Harry to sit with Brody; Joe, Randy, and Father Roberto to town; and Roc to his family—Samuel set out on a drive. The motorcycle hugged the curves and hills as he skimmed along the blacktop at responsible speeds. His thoughts spun off in reckless directions, but they always returned to the same place.

The gray of twilight hovered longer and later as the days were lengthening. The moon hung suspended, its pale glow reflective of the hope shining in him. Stars emerged, growing brighter by the minute.

Samuel came to a juncture and stopped at the red sign. Empty fields spread out around him. The motorcycle thrummed in his ears. He looked straight ahead and realized he had inadvertently arrived at Levi’s. But he wasn’t here to see his brother. He had two options. He could return to Roc’s. Or he could stop and see Naomi.

***

Bidding Hannah and Levi good night, Naomi opened the back door to their home.

“Do you want me to drive you over?” Levi asked, rocking one of his sons.

“
Danke
, Levi. I enjoy the walk this time of night.”

Hannah joggled one of the babies. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Naomi.”

She closed the door carefully. Drawing a calming breath, she stepped across the porch and down the steps. Night sounds chirped around her, and her tennis shoes crunched gravel. The scent of lilacs and freshly mown grass carried on the breeze.

A low hum rumbled, vibrating through her. She slowed, catching sight of a bright orb. The light swung across her and spotted her, keeping her in its beam.

Wondering if she should return to the house or forge onward, she squinted against the light. The thrumming engine stopped, the light blinked out, and silence buzzed her ears. She blinked against the sudden darkness until shapes formed in the waning light. Crunching gravel accompanied footsteps, slow and steady, yet determined. Coming straight toward her.

“Naomi.”

Samuel. Her heart leapt. She waited as he approached, his outline forming, the broad shoulders and long legs until he stood before her. Moonlight shone in his eyes.

“You’re going home?” he asked.

“It’s getting late.” She twisted the tie of her
kapp
around her finger. “Are you coming to see Levi?”

“No. I, uh…”

She noticed the white bandage was gone from his neck. “How is your wound?”

“Healing.”

“Good.”

He slid his hands in his back pockets and scuffed the gravel with the bottom of his shoe. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

She waited.

“I owe you an apology.”

His words surprised her.

“I put your life in danger. Can you forgive me?”

“Of course, Samuel.” She shook her head, confused by his request. “But you need not apologize. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I thought I would die when…when you were standing there…so strong and sure…and Jezebel could have killed you.” He shrugged, flexing his arms, then giving them a shake. “If anything had happened to you—”

She rested a hand against his thundering heart. “Nothing happened. I’m fine.”

“But the battle isn’t over yet. It may never be.”

“I know who wins in the end. Don’t you?”

A shy smile curled his mouth. “Of course. But we may not see that happen in our lifetime.”

“Then again we might…or else we’ll see it all unfold in the next.”

He captured her hand against his chest and held it there. “Naomi, I shouldn’t ask you this.”

“Shouldn’t?”

He stroked her hand, and tingling sensations rippled through her. “But I’m going to because…well, why should it be only me who decides this? So I’m just telling you right now that you should say no.”

Confused, she asked, “Do you want me to say no?”

“No, of course not. But it’s the right thing to do.”

“And I always do the right thing,
ja
?”

“You’ll say no then?”

She watched him for a long minute, noticing the longing in his eyes and the urgency in his voice. She felt his heart pounded against her palm. “Ask me, Samuel.”

“I can’t live in the Amish world anymore. God’s called me to other things…dangerous tasks. But I can’t help that I love you. I do. It’s probably wrong in sixteen different ways. But it’s the truth.”

“And you are always truthful, aren’t you, Samuel?”

“I try. Yes. I do.” He cleared his throat. “You amaze me and surprise me. You’re stronger than I ever imagined and more beautiful than a sunrise. So I know you’ll be stronger than me and say no, right?”

“How can I? You haven’t asked me, Samuel.”

“Look, Naomi, you…we have a choice. And if I could have anything in this world that the good Lord would give me, it’d be you.”

She inched closer to him, sliding her hand up to his shoulder. She felt his heat through the thin layer of his shirt. “I agree.”

“You do?”

“I do.”

A smile started to break free, but he caught it and frowned. “But you’ll say no. Right?”

“You still haven’t asked me, Samuel.”

He drew a breath. “Naomi, will you m—”

“Yes.” And she kissed him. Or he kissed her. It seemed to be mutual and the kiss went on and on until they rested their foreheads against each other. His hands spanned her waist, and hers splayed across his back. They stared deeply into each other’s eyes. His breathing was ragged, and she felt her body trembling.

“You didn’t say no.”

“You’re right.”

Then he smiled, his relief and joy mingling, interlacing inextricably with hers. She knew she could live a sheltered life, but without Samuel, without God, she wouldn’t really live.

Writing this series was a journey into the unknown. I learned much on my travels across the country, as well as those within the mind and heart. As with any journey, there are many along the way offering help and encouragement. So many have encouraged me as I wrote this last book of the Plain Fear series, from readers (who wrote me emails and letters) and reviewers (who were gracious and encouraging in their reviews) to booksellers and writing buddies. Thank you. I appreciate each and every one of you. I tried to thank you along the way, and I hope I didn’t leave anyone out.

A special thanks to Jerri for her prayers and friendship. What a blessing you are!

I’d also like to thank those on my Sourcebooks team: y’all are spectacular! A special thanks to Peter Lynch for believing in this project from the beginning. And a special thanks to Stephanie Bowen for her enthusiasm and work on this final book.

Thanks also to my wonderful agent, Natasha Kern. You’re simply the best.

My biggest thanks to my sweet and wonderful family, who are always willing to eat pizza and plot stories. I love you!

Leanna Ellis is the winner of the National Readers’ Choice Award and Romance Writers of America’s Golden Heart Award. She has written numerous books in the romance genre as well as the inspirational market. With her husband, two children, and wide assortment of pets, she makes her home in Texas.

Plain Fear: Forsaken

A Novel

Leanna Ellis

Although she knows that the Amish way is to move on from grief, on to a new season, Hannah cannot move on from Jacob, who was taken too soon.

Jacob’s brother Levi also cannot move on—his love for Hannah burns just as strong as ever. But he knows how much Hannah loved his brother, and the event that took Jacob from them.

And it’s a secret he must take to his grave.

So when a mysterious stranger comes to their community, he too carries a secret, one that will force Hannah to choose between light and dark, between the one she wants to love and a new yearning she fears to embrace.

Praise for the Plain Fear series

“An intense, powerful novel of love and loss, deception and deliverance.” —
Nancy Haddock, national bestselling author of
Always the Vampire

“This is a haunting, heartbreaking story told with such beauty and intensity, it took my breath away.” —
Lenora Worth, author of the
New York Times
bestseller
Body of Evidence

For more Leanna Ellis books, visit:

www.sourcebooks.com