Pink Flamingoed (24 page)

+++

The official beginning of summer was only a few days
away. The spring rains had become a thing of the past. While residents of most
neighborhoods remained inside surrounded by the comfort of air conditioning or
continually ran from here to there, most of Aylesford Place’s residents had a
pitcher of lemonade handy in case they noticed another neighbor on his or her
front porch. Then, a mere wave of a hand and their front porches resembled the
front porches of days gone by. Even Lady Catherine came out on occasion, but
always alone. If Norman did live there, no one had proof of it.

+++

The Armbruster family made use of the park nearby. It
meant a lot to the children to see their dad push their mom on a swing and then
stop the swing, whisper some sweet nothings in her ear, and give her a kiss on
the cheek. A rooting interest began when Scott climbed onto a swing next to Nancy and both tried to see who could swing the highest. Scott flinched when Nancy suggested it, afraid his pregnant wife might fall. Kenny cheered and his sisters
sighed when their mom gave up and their dad claimed victory. The playground
area contained a seesaw and slide, too. Scott mounted the seesaw across from Nancy and they took turns going up and down. Kenny, on the other hand, got on opposite his
sisters, and did his best to keep his sisters in the air. In the end, his
determined sisters won out, kept Kenny in the air, and then rapidly got off as
Kenny began a quick descent. By this time, his parents had moved off to the
slide, where Nancy climbed the steps and Scott caught her as she descended. Nancy was determined to be careful, but to her, pregnant was not synonymous with an
invalid.

After an hour or so of fun, Nancy left momentarily and
returned with a picnic lunch. In an era where few families spent time together,
she hoped Scott and the children appreciated the time they had together as much
as she did.

+++

Melanie looked out her window and saw the Armbrusters
returning to the parsonage. She bit her lip as disappointment set in. Would she
ever find a man of her own? Would she ever have children? She had taken Cora’s
advice. She had quit chasing men, but she did not fare any better than when she
was the aggressor.

The real estate agent stepped out onto her front
porch, walked over, grabbed one of the posts, and wrapped her arm around it,
much as a leading lady in a musical would if she were to burst into song.
Melanie stood, looking across the street, looking but not seeing. Her mind was
elsewhere. Should she have put up a fight for Brad when he moved in, and if so,
would he have chosen her instead of Amy? Brad and Amy seemed to be an item, but
Brad had not yet asked Amy to marry him. Did that mean Melanie should reenter
the picture? Even with Brad out of the picture, should Melanie have waited one
more night to have dinner at Martinelli’s? After all, her date did not work
out, but Allison, who went the next night for single’s night, found a love
interest in Chuck. Melanie shook her head, as if to sweep away her negative
thoughts. Instead, she forced herself to think of what Cora told her. Melanie
was still young, and maybe some day Prince Charming would come calling on her.

+++

After several days of Brad imitating the Cheshire Cat,
Saturday arrived and the foursome looked forward to another double date. Amy
and Allison tried their best to discover what the guys had planned, but to no
avail. Each ruled out prying the secret out of Brad, but hoped to have better
luck with Chuck. Chuck merely reminded them of the way they had acted the
previous week.

Amy had known Brad for a little over six months. As a result
of their relationship, she became a fan of murder mysteries, especially ones
written by Brad, and Agatha Christie. Amy had learned to sort out the clues she
was given, and decided to use this process to figure out where they were going.
This was difficult, because she only had two clues. She knew it was an evening
date, and Brad had told her it was casual dress, and it did not matter whether
she wore shorts and sandals or jeans and athletic shoes.

Amy was stumped. She had ruled out any daytime activity,
and anything that required a lot of walking or vigorous exercise.

Shortly after six o’clock, the group left Aylesford Place and Brad chose a road that led out of town, but a different road than Amy
had chosen the week before. Amy turned to Allison and gave her a look, but the
look Allison returned told Amy she had no idea where they were going. The young
women remained clueless for over an hour, then Amy saw the sign and started to
smile.

Trail’s End Drive-In

Triple Feature

Creature From the Black Lagoon

 Them!

Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman

“I love it, Brad,” Amy exclaimed as he followed the
other vehicles into the drive-in. “I loved going to the drive-in when I was a
girl, but they never showed anything like this.”

“Born too late, Dr. Watson. As was I. They used to
show this kind of stuff all the time when my parents were in high school.
Anyone seen any of these?” Brad asked. Only Chuck had seen any of them. He saw
Creature
From the Black Lagoon
on late night TV a few years before.

“Naturally, when Chuck told me what was on, I wanted
to check them out,” Brad said.

“Naturally,” Amy responded.

“The first two are considered two of the best sci-fi
movies from the fifties, and the last one, one of the worst.”

After paying their money and finding a parking spot
near the concession stand, Brad announced that it would be best if they ate
before the movies started. He and Chuck agreed to determine the menu and would
get food for all.  Their dates agreed.  A few minutes later, two young men with
food stacked high arrived back at the vehicle. Brad and Chuck returned with a
pizza, cheeseburgers, candy bars, ice cream bars, a large bag of popcorn, and
four giant-size soft drinks. Brad put the ice cream bars in a small cooler of
ice he unloaded from the back, and the foursome divided and devoured the food.
Everyone got comfortable, the sky darkened, and the previews began.

Amy squealed when she found out that there would be an
Elvis Presley all-nighter the weekend before the Fourth of July.
Loving You,
Follow That Dream, Viva Las Vegas,
and
Fun In Acapulco.
Amy had seen
them all. When the preview from
Viva Las Vegas
came on, Amy began to
sing and gyrate in her seat, doing the best Elvis imitation she could. Everyone
had a good laugh.

The drive-in took advantage of another opportunity to
make money. A sixties-looking promo trumpeted all the concession stand had to
offer. The girls chastised the guys for forgetting a couple of things that were
advertised, as if there was any way they would be able to eat any more.

Next came a newsreel, which seemed out of place at a
drive-in sci-fi triple feature. Still, the group enjoyed watching news of a
summit conference between Winston Churchill and FDR, and a segment which showed
William Powell and Myrna Loy, just after the release of another of
The Thin
Man
movies. It came as no surprise that Brad had seen some of them. After
all, William Powell played man-about-town and solver of murders, Nick Charles.

Everyone cheered when two cartoons followed the
newsreel. The foursome watched Jerry best Tom and Tweetie triumph over
Sylvester.

Finally, it came time for the first movie. Brad and
Amy cuddled on Amy’s side of the front seat. Chuck and Allison curled up on the
other side of the back seat. The suspense mounted as everyone waited for the arrival
of the Creature. Brad whistled, and Amy poked him with an elbow, when Julie
Adams appeared on the deck of the boat wearing a swimsuit. Amy threw popcorn at
Brad for added effect.  Brad and Chuck cheered when the Creature slithered
through the dark water and up onto the boat. The girls laughed and cheered,
too.

Amy expected
Them!
to be invaders from outer
space, but soon found out they were giant ants who were terrorizing the
southwestern part of the United States. Each time the screen showed a scene with
the giant ants, Brad walked his fingers across Amy’s shoulder and up the back
of her neck. One time, armed with a fistful of popcorn, Amy lunged for him and
shoved as much popcorn into his mouth as she could. Chuck and Allison enjoyed
their friend’s shenanigans as much as they did the movie, which they both liked
a lot.

When things settled down, Allison leaned over to Amy.

“I need to go to the ladies room.”

Amy, still in a playful mood, said,

“Attention, K-Mart shoppers, Allison needs to go to
the ladies room.”

“You want me to get your chair out?” Chuck asked.

Inspired from spending too much time with Amy, Allison
answered, “Well, the way I look at it, I have three choices. One, you can get
my chair. Two, I can drag my body over the gravel without fear of getting in
the way of the movie projector. However, my legs will be full of gravel pock
marks which I will not be able to feel. Or three, you, Chuck, can lift me up on
your back and carry me to the ladies room. When we arrive, I will put my hands
over your eyes so that you cannot see. Then, you will back into the restroom,
deposit me into a stall, then leave until I call you to return.”

“Okay, gentlemen, you have heard your choices. Which
will it be?” Amy asked.

Simultaneously, Amy and the two guys shouted, “Three!”

Chuck got out of the vehicle and retrieved Allison’s
wheelchair. Allison and Amy left and returned just as the third movie was about
to begin.

The last movie of the night brought hoots and laughter
from both couples. Especially during the scenes when the
50 ft. Woman
was on the rampage. Brad and Chuck were glad Chuck’s idea for a date had been a
hit with the girls. Even though it was well past midnight when they left the drive-in, all four laughed and talked all the way home. Chuck informed the others
that there were bad movies that were even more enjoyable than the last movie of
the night. He promised to delve into his collection some day and share some of
them with the group. He told the others about the master of the bad movie, Ed
Wood. He explained that everyone needed to see his personal favorites written
by, directed by, and starring Wood. He mentioned the well-known
Plan 9 From
Outer Space,
and the little-known
Jail Bait.

“Not all of the enjoyable bad movies were done by
Wood,” Chuck informed his companions. “
Robot Monster
is a hoot, too. The
title character looks like a gorilla in a diving helmet. And there’s a must-see
bad movie that has a walking tree, and one where the villain looks like a shag
carpet.”

Everyone agreed there needed to be more double dates.
The group arrived back at Aylesford Place wide awake, and hoping that each of
them would be just as awake the next morning when Scott began his sermon.

Anxious to find out how her girls were doing, Cora invited
Amy and Allison over for lunch. She would have invited Melanie too, but Cora
planned to talk about romance. With Frank banished to his workshop, Cora, Amy,
and Allison sat around the same dining room table where Brad enjoyed dinner his
first Sunday on Aylesford Place. The trio had barely taken a bite of their
salads when Cora could refrain no longer.

“So are things getting serious for the two of you?”

“No, we’re just friends. Both Allison and I are seeing
someone else,” Amy said.

Allison laughed. Sometimes she wished she was as
quick-witted as Amy, but she felt good with who she was, so she did not let it
get her down.

“You know what I mean, young lady. Two weekends in a
row the two of you come traipsing in at all hours of the night.”

“I’m sorry, Cora. Did you give us a curfew?”

“No, Amy, darling. It’s just that I find myself
staying home more and praying for you, and these late dates keep giving me
hope, but I’m not seeing any rings.”

“Why, Cora, you should get out more. I’m sure Frank
would enjoy the peace and quiet.”

“Little lady, I think I’ve taught you a little too
well.”

“Better to keep the men in line. That’s what you’ve
always told me.”

“Yes, Amy, but you’re to respect your elders, even one
as young as I. So tell me, girls. How are things? And I don’t mean your
businesses either.”

“We’d better tell her, Amy. Otherwise Cora’s never
going to let up. Besides, I’m quite excited to have a boyfriend this year.”

“And I’m happy for you, Allison, but are you going to
be able to turn him into a husband? I figured Amy would have Brad hooked by
now, and while I think she’s got him hooked, it sure is taking her a while to
reel him in.”

“Are you the same woman who’s always telling Melanie
to be patient?” Amy asked.

“Melanie’s different. I’ve never seen you charge after
every man you see.”

“Just be patient, Cora, even though I have trouble
being patient. I love Brad so much that sometimes I want to pop the question
myself.”

“I know what you mean, Amy. Remember, I’m married to
Mr. Laid Back. I was beginning to think I was going to collect Social Security
before I collected Frank.”

The threesome returned to their salads as the two
younger women shared about their love lives and the older one offered advice
when she felt it was warranted.

+++ 

It had been quite some time since Lady Catherine
wondered if Brad might have sneaked into her basement. Because nothing came of
it, she felt somewhat relieved, but still felt uncomfortable around her
neighbors. She was always afraid that someone would ask about Norman. She was tired
of telling them the same story each time. Should she start telling them that Norman had gone home?

+++

The freezer at the church quit running the last week
in June. Because all of the church’s money was designated for other expenses,
there was not enough money in the emergency fund to buy a new freezer. Cora
came up with an idea, shared it with Frank, and called everyone to their house
to discuss it.

“As all of you know, the church’s freezer quit running
this week. What you may or may not know is that the church does not have money
set aside to buy a new one,” Cora began. “However, I have an idea how we can
raise money to get a new freezer and have some fun doing it.”

“Cora, if you’re planning to bring out that blasted
flamingo again, I’m leaving,” Harry said.

“No, Harry. This fund raiser is much quicker and not
as painful.”

Harry sat back in his chair, still not sure whether he
could trust Cora or not.

Cora went on.

“As all of you know, we have a Fourth of July picnic
each year and each of the women spend a lot of time cooking so all of you men
can enjoy it. While I do not plan to change that, I would like for us to do
something different this year. I suggest that all of the women fix a picnic
basket and that all of the men bid on those baskets and the privilege of
sharing a picnic lunch with the woman who made it. Hopefully, the proceeds will
be enough to buy a new freezer for the church.”

“How much is this going to cost me?” Harry asked.

“Well, Harry, it all depends on how much you’re
willing to bid for Ethel’s picnic lunch.”

The more Cora shared her idea, the more everyone got
excited about it. Even Harry, who realized it would not cost him much money to
bid on Ethel’s picnic lunch. On the surface, it sounded a lot cheaper than
being stuck with the flamingo, and Harry figured it would be a lot less
embarrassing. Everyone agreed to try it and the meeting was adjourned.

+++

Scott paced in his study. He knew what he had to say
would not be well received by his son, but he knew that somehow he could stumble
through this speech better than the one where he informed his children that
their mother was pregnant. Scott gathered his thoughts, then called Kenny into
his study for a private talk.

“Whatever it was, Dad, I didn’t do it,” Kenny said, as
soon as he saw the look on his dad’s face.

“Actually, no one has done it yet, Son.”

“Oh, so you’re kind of blaming me in advance, because
you think of all your children I’m the one most likely to do whatever it is.”

“Actually, this involves all of my children. I’ve already
talked to your sisters and they agreed to do their parts.”

“You mean you’re sending them away to camp this year,
and I get the house all to myself?”

“Not exactly, Son. Just sit here a minute and let me
talk. I know how sitting and remaining quiet are hard on you, but bear with me.
I want to get through this sometime today. Son, as you know, each of the ladies
in the church will be making a picnic lunch and each of the men will be bidding
on those lunches.”

“I know, Dad. So you’re going to bid on Mom’s basket
for us,” Kenny interjected, showing that he could not remain quiet for long.

“I’m going to bid on mom’s lunch for me, Son.”

“But what about me, Dad? A growing boy has to eat.”

“Well, Son, your two sisters have agreed to fix a
lunch. I want you to bid on their basket.”

“How much money are you giving me to bid on it, Dad?”

“None, Son. I want you to bid with your own money.”

“You want me to do what?”

“I believe you heard me the first time, Son. I want
you to bid on their basket.”

“Let me see if I’ve got this straight. You want me to
bid money I want to keep, so that I can eat something that probably tastes bad,
plus I have to eat it with two people I would rather not eat with. I think my
idea of sending them to camp is better. What if I would rather not spend my
money on something they made? After all, while we are home-schooled and have
never eaten in a school cafeteria, I have heard about cafeteria food. I think
my sisters’ stuff would be just as hard to identify. Besides, it could make me
sick, and then you’d have to pay a doctor bill.”

“You know, Son, your mom has been talking about how
she might want to let the baby have your room, which means that you’d have to
move in with your sisters. That might not be such a bad idea after all. Just
think of how well you’d get to know each other. Oh, I can see the love, now.”

“But my sisters don’t even share a room. They each
have their own room.”

“But your mother has talked about redecorating, and
the way she is, she might decide to work on more than one room at a time. And
you know how slow your mother can be at times.”

“You say, it’s just one meal, huh, Dad? Oh, God,
please let the baby be a boy.”

+++

The Fourth of July was not until the following
Wednesday, so on the Friday night prior to the Fourth, the amorous foursome
headed back to the drive-in for the Elvis Movie Marathon. Chuck contributed
part of his Elvis CD collection to listen to on the drive up and back. Amy, who
dressed like Ann-Margret in a modest scene from
Viva Las Vegas,
sang
along, while Allison applauded at the end of each song.  The guys, in their
best Elvis imitation, mumbled  “Thank  you  very  much,”  each  time  Elvis 
and  Amy concluded a song. Everyone had a great time, and Brad picked up a
schedule of the movies slated for the rest of the season. As four tired people
returned home, Amy saw the lights were still on at Frank and Cora’s, and
noticed the shadow that appeared at the door when Amy shut the car door.

Cora’s phone call woke Amy at the crack of noon the next day.

“Amy, have you taken up drinking?”

“What’re you talking about, Cora?”

“Well, just as I was about to start breakfast this
morning, I was serenaded by a female voice singing
Heartbreak Hotel.
Were those the Jordanaires howling in the background?”

“To set the record straight, we arrived home shortly
after five and Mrs. Busybody was hovering near the front door spying on us.”

“So, you saw me, huh?”

“Yes, mother dear.”

“I must remember to turn out the lights the next
time.”

“And we must remember to pull into Allison’s driveway
instead.”

+++

Everyone rose early on the Fourth of July. Each person
had a job to do before heading to the park for the picnic. The women had a lot
of cooking to do. The men were to get things together; horseshoes, croquet
sets, badminton racquets, and a few extra lawn chairs, even though the park had
enough picnic tables to accommodate everyone. Around 11:00, every family loaded their cars and drove to the park. Unlike Sunday mornings when everyone
except Barney and Bertha walked to church, almost everyone drove to the park,
because each neighbor was loaded down with so much  paraphernalia  that  it 
made  walking difficult. A little after eleven the first cars pulled into the
park. The men unloaded each vehicle and put things wherever the women told them
to put them. Normally, the women had to arrange all the food on the table, but
with each of the ladies preparing a picnic basket, all the men had to do was
unload each of the cars and wait until noon.

Brad looked around at the fashion statement each person
had made. Some women wore shorts. Others wore sundresses. All of the men wore
shorts. All except two opted for the normal attire of either white socks and
athletic shoes or sandals without socks. Harry showed up in dark socks and
dress shoes. Brad assumed Harry did it more because he had never been willing
to buy white socks and athletic shoes than for any other reason. As always,
Barney stood out more than anyone. While Barney wore a nice-looking pair of
athletic shoes, he wore his usual red socks. It was a red, white, and blue
occasion, so Barney begrudgingly wore blue shorts. He topped off his outfit
with a red-and-white Hawaiian print shirt.

+++

Barney had some free time, so he made good on a
promise to Brad.

“Hey, young fella, remember when I promised you a ride
in the Buick?”

“I sure do, Sweet Pea. Are you willing to honor that
offer today?”

“Now’s as good of a time as any. Don’t you think?”
Barney asked.

“You bet I do.”

It was a sunny day, so Barney left the convertible top
down. He drove to the end of the street and back, and because Brad enjoyed the
ride so much, Barney turned around in Melanie’s driveway and took his passenger
for another spin.

“This is some car you’ve got here, Barney. I don’t
guess you’d be interested in selling it,” Brad inquired.

“Oh, no! This is my baby. It used to belong to my dad
and he gave it to me when he and Mom bought a new one. It’s been mine ever
since.  I’ve had it too long to give it up now.”

Brad sat there wondering what it would have been like
to drive the car when it was new. If he had been Kenny, and Barney would have
been Harry, he would have found out in a rendition that would have lasted until
the food was served.

When twelve o’clock came, Cora called everyone
together so the bidding could begin for the picnic baskets. A few of the tables
were located underneath a canopy of trees, so everyone gathered there to start
the festivities. Some sat at tables, others brought lawn chairs, and a few of
the younger set sat on quilts placed on the ground. Scott said grace. That way
each couple (or trio) could pick their spot as soon as the bidding for each
basket was over.

“Okay, everyone, here’s how we’re going to do this.
I’ve placed each of the women’s names in a sack, and when I draw out a name,
we’ll begin the bidding on that picnic basket lunch. Remember, whoever is the
highest bidder gets to enjoy the picnic lunch with the lady who fixed it. Any
questions?”