Pink Flamingoed (20 page)

Harry and Ethel trudged home. Harry hurried to the
bedroom, opened his envelope, and looked at the paper inside. It was blank.
While Harry thought the odds of him getting the paper with the “X” were slim,
he had hoped that he was the one. Harry felt the chances were better he could
get in and out of someone’s yard without getting caught than he did that he
could wake up from a sound sleep and catch someone in the act before they could
get away from his house. Knowing that he did not have the paper with the “X,”
Harry plotted his strategy, and gathered his things. A strange man headed
through the living room carrying a blanket and a pillow.

“Where are you going with those?” Ethel asked.

“I’m going to sleep on the front porch tonight,” Harry
replied.

“Why, did I do something to offend you?”

“No, I want to be ready in case someone tries to place
a pink flamingo in our yard.”

“Harry, there’s no need to sleep out on the front
porch.”

“I have no intention of paying twenty dollars, and
there’s no way I can catch someone if I’m asleep in the bedroom.”

“Harry, you don’t have to worry. No one’s going to
leave the bird at our house tonight.”

“And how do you know that?”

Ethel turned and showed her husband the paper bearing
the “X.”

“So, you got it,” Harry said, as he traded his worried
look for a devious grin.

“So, who do you plan to give it to?” Harry asked.

“I’m not sure if I should tell you.”

“And why not? I’m your husband.”

“Okay, Harry. While you were in the other room getting
together all of your camping gear, I was thinking that Allison might appreciate
being the first one to display the flamingo.”

“Allison? The crippled woman? I’m not sure if she’d be
able to get around well enough to put it in someone’s yard without being
caught. She might be stuck with that monstrosity for a week. Of course, if
she’s stuck with it, that means it won’t cost you and me any money. Now, that I
think about it, I like your idea. Allison, it is.”

“Don’t let the fact that Allison can’t walk fool you,
Harry. She gets around as well as any of the rest of us. I bet she doesn’t have
any trouble getting rid of the flamingo. Maybe she’ll take it to the
Armbrusters. I bet their kids would die to wake and see the flamingo in their
yard.”

“Maybe you’re right, but I bet if someone doesn’t
catch her, it’s because they feel sorry for her and don’t catch her on
purpose.”

“Well, I guess we’ll find out. That is, if she doesn’t
catch me tonight.”

“Catch us, you mean.”

“You mean you’re going with me?”

“You bet I am. I’m not about to let you bungle the
job.”

“How long do you think we ought to wait until we pick
up the bird?”

“I don’t know, Ethel. I guess we need to wait a while
to give Allison time to get to sleep, but I don’t want to wait too long. I
don’t want to miss too much of my beauty sleep.”

Harry and Ethel waited a while and then chanced it.
Each of them  smeared  on some black face paint they had left over from a
costume party several years before. They hoped that the black make-up helped
them blend in with the night. To make sure, they donned dark clothes, too.

Harry and Ethel turned off all of their lights and
sneaked out the front door. They tiptoed down the steps and across Brad’s yard
in order to make less noise. As Harry and Ethel crossed Brad’s yard, they saw
Brad’s shadow through his front door. Harry and Ethel fell to their stomachs.
They lay on the grass in front of the railing on Brad’s porch. Harry put his
finger to his lips in order to make sure Ethel stayed quiet. The two of them
lay prone in front of Brad’s porch until five minutes after they saw Brad’s
light go out.

+++

Brad turned out his lights and dashed to the phone to
call Amy.

“Amy,” he whispered.

“Why are you whispering, Brad?”

“Just as a precaution, I guess.”

“Do I need to whisper, too?”

“It wouldn’t hurt any. The suspects are probably in
front of your house right now.”

“The suspects. You mean whoever drew the envelope with
the ‘X?’”

“That’s right. And I think I know who they are.”

“Brad, are you sure you haven’t written too many
whodunits?”

“No. I was standing at my front door when I noticed a
couple of shadows hit the ground right in front of my porch.”

“Don’t tell me it’s Harry and Ethel?”

“Okay, I won’t tell you then. What made you guess
Harry and Ethel?”

“Well, the only other possibility on our side of the
street would be the Armbrusters, and I can’t see the kids letting Scott and Nancy get away to do something like this without them tagging along.”

“You’ll make a Sherlock Holmes yet.”

“I owe it all to reading
The Mystery of the
Thirteenth Suspect.”

“So, you really did read the book I gave you.”

“I told you I did.”

“Listen, Dr. Watson, would you like to have some fun
with our elusive shadows?”

“I’m not sure. Is it anything that might get us
arrested?”

“Not that I know of. Ever since Rachel sent Harry and
Ethel those cell phones for Christmas, Harry has always kept his in his pocket.
Right?”

“Yeah, and I think I know where you’re going with
this.”

“Right, but wait until I give you the signal. We’re
not sure where they’re going with the bird. Are your downstairs lights off or
on?”

“They’re off. I’m upstairs.”

“Can you get back downstairs real quick without
turning on any lights?”

“I think so. I might break a few toes in the process,
but I can try.”

“Be a trooper and do that, and hurry. First, we’ll
make sure that neither of us is the intended victim. If not, Harry and Ethel
will either pass our houses or head across the street. As soon as we figure out
where they’re going, give Harry a call on his cell phone. Okay?”

“Okay, Mr. Holmes.”

“Are you downstairs yet?”

“I’m on my way.”

“Okay, I’ll look out and see if I see them. Yeah,
there they are now. It looks like they’re headed across the street. Can you see
them yet?”

“Now, I can.”

“Okay, let’s hang up, and when you see them get ready
to leave the bird somewhere, give Harry a call. I want to see how high that man
can jump.”

Brad and Amy hung up. Both of them continued to watch
Harry and Ethel. Neither Harry nor Ethel had any idea that their tiptoeing made
them more obvious than if they walked normally. Ethel carried the flamingo next
to her side toward the street, so that no one on the other side of the street
would suspect anything.

Harry and Ethel slowed down as they neared Allison’s
house. Harry caught up with Ethel and whispered something in her ear. Ethel
shook her head “no.” Then Harry whispered something else. Just after Harry
whispered to Ethel, both of them eased to the ground and began to crawl. Inch
by inch, they made their way across Allison’s yard toward the front porch. All
of the lights in Allison’s house were turned off. Just as they were about to
stop, Harry jumped and reached for his pocket.

Harry took the phone from his pocket, pushed a button
and said, “Not now, Rachel. This isn’t a good time.”

“Just who is Rachel,” said the female voice on the
other end of the phone. “Don’t tell me you’re two-timing me, handsome.”

The word “handsome” sent chills up and down Harry’s
spine. Evidently, someone had found out that Harry was “handsome.” Harry did
not recognize the voice on the other end of the phone, but did not think it
sounded like Melanie. Evidently, someone had found out his secret identity.
Harry had heard of hackers, but he was not sure what they were. Suddenly, Harry
was not only scared of being caught by Allison, but began to think of all kinds
of scary things. Had the woman on the other end of the line managed to transfer
all of the money he had in the bank to another account?

Ethel tapped Harry on the shoulder. Harry jumped
higher this time. His stomach lifted at least an inch off the ground.

“Don’t scare me like that, Ethel,” Harry whispered.

“Who was that, Harry?”

“I don’t know, Ethel. A wrong number, I think.”

“Well, put your phone back in your pocket. I don’t want
to stay here until we get caught.”

Suddenly Harry’s thoughts changed from all the money
he had in the world back to the twenty dollars he would lose if they were
caught.

“Well, what are you waiting for, Ethel. Stick that
thing in the ground and let’s get out of here.”

Ethel jabbed the flamingo into the ground, and she and
Harry tiptoed quickly across the street to their own home. As Harry and Ethel
reached their own yard, Harry’s phone rang again.

“How did you find out who I was?” Harry asked, as soon
as he pushed the button.

“I saw what you did and I know who you are, and now I
am coming after you,” whispered a man’s voice on the other end of the phone.

Harry raced into the house, shut the door quickly,
locked it, and turned out the lights.

“Harry, let me in!” Ethel hollered.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Ethel. I thought you were ahead of
me,” Harry said, as he let Ethel in and quickly relocked the door.

“Who was that, Harry?”

“Another wrong number.”

“Do you think it was the same person each time?”

“No, the first one was a woman and the second one was
a man.”

Harry quickly told Ethel about the phone calls without
revealing anything about his secret e-mail identity. Fear crossed Ethel’s face,
but she did her best to hide it from Harry.

+++

Brad’s phone rang.

“Hello, Dr. Watson,” Brad answered.

“How did you know it was me?”

“Now, who else would it be?”

“Well, Harry thought I was Rachel.”

Brad and Amy took turns telling each other how each of
them had frightened Harry, but little did they know that they had frightened Harry
and Ethel more than they imagined.

+++

Ethel arose early the next morning and sneaked out of
the house before Harry woke up. A basket of nerves, she failed to look at the
pink flamingo in Allison’s yard as she headed up the street to Frank and Cora’s.
Cora answered the door and saw that something was troubling her friend.

“Come in, Ethel. What’s wrong?”

“Cora, if I asked you a question, would you be willing
to tell me the truth?”

“Well, of course, Ethel. You know I would.”

“Cora, do you think it’s possible that Harry might be
seeing another woman?”

“Harry? You’re kidding! Who’d want him? I’m sorry,
Ethel. I didn’t mean that. Well, I did, but I don’t think you have anything to
worry about. What makes you think that Harry has a woman on the side?”

“Well, last night Harry and I were out getting rid of
the flamingo.”

“Oh, so, one of you got the ‘X.’”

“I did, but right now I’d rather talk about Harry.
Anyway, we were  just  about  to  place  it  in  Allison’s yard when Harry’s
cell phone  rang.  I  couldn’t make out the conversation, but Harry told me it
was a woman and she called him handsome and said something about him two-timing
her.”

Cora interrupted. “She called Harry handsome? Sounds
to me like one of the inmates at the asylum had late phone privileges.”

“I’m serious about this, Cora.”

“Me, too.”

“Just let me finish, Cora. Just as we got back to the
house some man called and he said he knew who Harry was and he was coming after
Harry. Cora, I’m scared. I think Harry’s been seeing another woman and her
husband found out about it and now he’s coming over here to get Harry. You
should’ve seen how quickly Harry locked the door and turned out the lights. I
could tell that he was scared.”

“Well, what did Harry say about the calls?”

“He told me that both of them were wrong numbers. He
was awfully scared for it to be a wrong number.”

“Well, the woman did call Harry handsome, and the man
did threaten him. I’d be scared too if a couple of loonies called me.”

“I don’t think they were loonies, Cora.”

“They must’ve been if they called Harry. Anyway, don’t
worry about it. I doubt if Harry’s seeing another woman. Besides, I bet they
were just wrong numbers and Harry was just scared because he was afraid he was
going to get caught and be out some money.”