Pink Flamingoed (16 page)

“I’ve already warned Chuck about how the two of you
like to tease all the time. He said that’s okay. His students help prepare him
for people like the two of you.”

Scott walked by, and Amy turned and called out to him.

“Hey, Scott, do you know that Allison has a praise
this morning?”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, she had a date last night and he’s asked her
out again.”

“And here I thought that that smile plastered on her
face was because she enjoyed my sermon.”

“Oh, but I did enjoy it,” Allison interjected.

“Really! What was it about?”

Everyone broke out laughing when Allison did not
answer right away.

+++

The week passed, and not much happened. Everyone was
too busy dreaming. Brad dreamed of another book finished. Amy dreamed about the
same, knowing that once the book was finished Brad would have more time to
spend with her. Allison dreamed of Chuck, Kenny dreamed of being an only child,
and everyone but the lonely old woman in the end house dreamed of spring, still
a few weeks away.

For many people, Sunday morning means getting up tired
and late and hurrying to make up for lost time in order to get to church on
time. All large families contain at least one person who frays the nerves of at
least one of the other members of that household. Before arriving at church,
the driver encounters a traffic light which on any other occasion would have
been green, but turns red just before he or she reaches that intersection, thus
prolonging the agony and delaying the ETA. By the time said family arrives at
church, most of them are mentally, physically, and emotionally spent. Except on
Aylesford Place. On Aylesford Place, each resident steps out into a serene
environment which prepares every person to receive God’s blessing for that day.
A gentle breeze, a bird in flight, an anticipated sermon, envisioning the
smiling faces that are soon to be seen set the tone for a beautiful day. But
sometimes, one is preoccupied with thinking about whether one might encounter
any new faces that day.

“What’s the matter, Amy?” Brad asked, as he and Amy
walked to church.

“Do you see what I see?”

“Yeah, a house.”

“No, in the driveway.”

“Yeah, a car. Whoever heard of parking a car in a
driveway?”

“Not just any driveway. Allison’s driveway. Do you
suppose it’s
him
?”

“Well, it’s not Barney. Barney still has his 1949 red
Buick and it’s already parked in front of the church.”

“Well, we can always hope.”

“Yeah, and probably in a few minutes we’ll know.”

Brad and Amy walked the rest of the way to church and
talked to some of their neighbors who arrived early. In a few minutes, Allison
wheeled in followed by a young man with light brown hair and lots of muscles.

“Hey, everyone. This is Chuck.”

“Hey, Chuck. I’m Brad. Glad you came. I was starting
to feel very much outnumbered by all of these women.”

“Yeah, I see what you mean,” Chuck said smiling.

“Yeah, we guys have to stick together,” Brad
suggested.

“And we girls, too,” countered Amy.

+++

The middle of the week arrived and Scott started
working on the upcoming Sunday’s sermon. He was sitting in his study praying
and seeking God’s guidance, when someone knocked on his study door. Never
knowing God to appear to him in quite that manner, he called out. A moment
later, Nancy entered and she appeared to be troubled.

“What’s the matter, Hon?” Scott asked his wife.

“Honey, do you love me?”

“You know that I do, dear.”

“Are you sure you love me?”

“Of course I do. What’s wrong?”

“Scott, I’ve done a bad, bad thing.”

“You didn’t spend too much money, did you?”

“Not yet, but I will.”

Scott decided to ignore that remark.

“You weren’t involved in a wreck, were you?”

“Sort of.”

“Were you hurt?”

“Sort of.”

“Honey, you’re being awfully vague. Is the car okay?”

“Oh, the car’s fine.”

“What about the car of the person you hit?”

“I didn’t hit anybody.”

“But you said you were in a wreck.”

“I tend to think of it more like a train wreck.”

“So, there was no other person?”

“There most certainly was.”

“So who was it?”

“You.”

“Nancy, you’re not making any sense. Try telling me in
plain English.”

“In plain English, Scott, I’m pregnant.”

“You’re not kidding, are you?”

“No, and I don’t think the doctor was either.”

“Oh, honey,” Scott exclaimed, as he rushed around his
desk and embraced his wife.

“It’s all my fault, Nancy.”

“Well, it’s partly your fault.”

“More than you think, dear.”

“Now, you’re the one who’s not making any sense,
Scott. How can it be more your fault than I think? I know how these things
happen. Remember, it’s happened to us three times before.”

“Yeah, but the three times before I didn’t pray and
ask God to send us more children for our church.”

“Scott.”

“Yes, dear.”

“The next time you pray, could you be a little more
specific?”

“I’m sorry. I just assumed that God knew my innermost
thoughts.”

“He does, dear, but He also has a sense  of humor.
When did you pray for these kids?”

“Christmas Eve.”

“Wow! God works quicker on some of our prayer requests
than others.”

“I guess He does, Hon. Have you told the kids yet?”

“No, Scott. I thought you might want to know first.
And since
you’re
the one who caused all of this, when do you think
you’re
going to tell them?”

“I don’t suppose that we can just let them watch you
get fat and see if they ask any questions.”

Nancy
raised her
eyebrows, crossed her arms, and looked at her husband.

“No, I guess not. Well, give me a couple of days. You
don’t know how much explaining I’ve done lately.”

+++

The next night Scott and Nancy lay in bed talking
about their day. They took time each night to talk, pray, and read and discuss
each day’s entry in a couples’ devotional book.

“How are you feeling?” Scott asked.

“Physically, mentally, or emotionally?”

“Since you’re a woman who just found out that she’s
pregnant for the fourth time, let’s start with emotionally.”

“I’m worried, Scott. Do you think we can afford
another child?”

“If I say ‘no,’ does that mean we draw straws to see
which one we kick out?”

“Try to be serious for a minute.”

“Honey, God has always provided for us, and I don’t
see any reason to think that He’ll abandon us now.”

“I know you’re right. I guess it’s more the fact that
I was beginning  to  think  about  how  we’re  going  to be able to afford to
send Jill off to college in a few years and now, soon, we’ll be back in
diapers.”

“I know, Hon. I know every time I think we’re through
with this kid thing, we find out that we’re going to have another one. Who
knows, God may end up blessing us with a dozen of them.”

“Bite your tongue, Scott!”

“Well, that doesn’t mean that you’ll be pregnant
twelve times. Who knows? He might decide to give us two or three at once.”

The look on Nancy’s face told Scott that she did not
care for his second suggestion, either. He decided to change the subject.

“Oh, by the way, I’ve been thinking about how to tell
the children.”

“And?”

“I don’t guess you’d go for writing them a note and
slipping it under each one’s bedroom door, would you?”

“Tell me you’re not serious, Scott.”

“I’m not serious Scott.”

“How well I know!”

“Well, I guess there’s nothing else to do except
gather them together in the living room and give them the good news.”

“Do you think they’ll think it’s good news?”

“They won’t have any choice. Don’t worry, Hon. It’s
all in the way you tell them.”

“You’re the one who’s telling them, Scott. Remember?”

“I know. I was just using a figure of speech.”

“Well, mister preacher man, I think it’s time you
worked on your speech.”

“That reminds me. I have to work on my sermon.”

“This first, Scott.”

“How about if I save time by working it into my sermon
on Sunday morning? That way the kids won’t make a scene and I can tell everyone
at the same time.

“Yes, dear,” Scott said, after noticing the look on
his wife’s face. “We’ll tell them tomorrow night at dinner.”

Nancy
gave Scott that
look again.

“I mean I’ll tell them after dinner.”

+++

The next evening the Armbrusters gathered for dinner.

“Dad, you’re not eating,” Jill said. “Is anything
wrong?”

“Yes. I mean no, uh, everything’s fine. Nothing could
be better, but I do have something to talk to you about after dinner.”

Mallory started crying.

“What’s wrong with her?” Kenny asked.

“Dad’s got cancer,” Mallory managed to say through her
tears.

“No, Mallory. I don’t have cancer.”

Mallory continued to cry.

“What now, Mallory?” her dad asked.

“Mom’s got cancer.”

“Well, sort of. I mean, no. Mom’s fine. Boy, is mom
fine.”

“Dad, since none of us feels like eating any more
until we find out what’s wrong, why don’t you go ahead and get this over with?”
Kenny suggested.

“Okay, everybody to the living room,” Scott directed.

Everyone got up from the table. Scott and Nancy let
the children go first.

“It’s all in the way you tell them. Right, Scott?”
whispered Nancy as she and her husband headed to the living room.

“And so, here we all are,” Scott said, addressing the
obvious.

“Mom, why don’t you tell us? My food’s getting cold.”
Kenny remarked.

“Scott!” Nancy exclaimed.

“Well, kids. We have great news. Your mom’s pregnant.
Well, good night,” Scott said, in the quickest sermon ever delivered.

“Yeah, right!” Kenny said.

“No, really, kids. Mom’s pregnant,” Scott said, using
a calmer tone of voice.

“At your age?” Jill exclaimed.

“What do you mean ‘
at my age’
? I’m not
that
old.”

“Didn’t they teach you about birth control?” Mallory
asked, causing her parents to wonder if she really was only five years old.

“Mallory!” her mother exclaimed, showing her
embarrassment.

“Well, you’ve already got three kids. And I thought
you were only going to have kids until you had an almost perfect one,” Mallory
said.

“Well, it isn’t as if I was trying to get pregnant,”
her mother exclaimed, wishing she could take back her words almost as soon as
she said them.

“So, you two don’t even want this kid! You probably
didn’t even want us either!” Jill shouted.

“Of course, we want this one and we wanted all of you,
too. It’s just that my pregnancy has taken all of us by surprise, and it’s
going to take some getting used to.”

“Well, you’d better get used to it quick, Mom. God
isn’t going to keep this baby in there until you’re ready to have it,” Kenny
said, wanting to get in on reprimanding his parents.

“Scott!” Nancy said. “Help!”

Scott did the best he could by trying to take the ball
on the fly. Just as Scott was about to continue, the phone rang and he got up
to answer it.

“No, we’re not interested right now. Maybe later,”
Scott replied.

“Who was that?” Nancy asked when Scott returned.

Scott burst out laughing.

“It was a telemarketer. They were checking to see if
we’re interested in a diaper service.”

Mallory laughed so hard she fell off the couch. Even Nancy took  advantage  of  the welcomed interruption. Scott said a silent prayer and
thanked God for the telemarketer’s call, something he never expected to thank
God for.

After everyone had had a good laugh, Scott continued.

“Well, kids. I think we just need to make the best of
this. It’s time to get excited about your new brother or sister.”

“Please, don’t say that word, Dad. We already have too
many girls in this house now,” Kenny exclaimed.

“Mom, Dad, since we’re getting another one, and we’ll
be cramped for space, could we please send the little boy away to school?” Jill
asked.

“I’ll little boy you in a minute,” Kenny replied.

“Yeah, Scott, it’s all in how you tell them,” Nancy said, as she looked at her husband who was getting more flustered by the minute. “By
the way, what are you going to ask God for next?”

+++

Things went much better when Scott told his
congregation that Sunday. At least, no one threatened to get rid of anyone else
in the congregation in order to make room for the little one, and everyone
seemed excited about the news.

+++

Frank got on the phone and called everyone in the
church except the Armbrusters.