Pink Flamingoed (11 page)

Read Pink Flamingoed Online

Authors: Steve Demaree

Tags: #Christian Books & Bibles, #Literature & Fiction, #Romance, #Humor, #Religion & Spirituality, #Fiction, #Humor & Satire, #General Humor, #Religious & Inspirational Fiction, #Christian Fiction, #Teen & Young Adult

BOOK: Pink Flamingoed
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Scott too was down, and he prayed that God would help
him get started and give him the words these people needed to hear. Scott began
his sermon, and one-by-one he noticed the looks on the faces of the
congregation begin to change. By the end of the sermon, everyone was back to
normal. Oh, Kenny still elbowed Mallory when she scooted a little too close,
but then that was back to normal, too. When the service ended, and each person
had talked himself or herself hoarse, someone opened the doors. Not only had
the rain stopped, but there was a rainbow, and the first sunshine any of them
had seen all year.

A Homeless Man

 

 

Seldom did anyone visit Frank and Cora in the morning,
so Frank was surprised when he heard a knock at the front door. On his way to
see who their visitor might be, Frank tried to guess who might be calling. Had
Ethel decided she could not take Harry any more? If so, how would Cora feel
about giving Harry a place to stay until he could find a place of his own? It
could take a while. Harry would not want to pay more than one hundred dollars a
month. Frank opened the door and found a homeless man standing before him.

“May I help you, sir?” Frank asked.

“I’m cold and hungry,” the tattered man mumbled, “and
I was wondering if you could help me.”

“Please come in and I’ll see what I can do,” Frank
said as he opened the door.

The man stepped inside. Frank looked at him, but the
man hung his head as if he did not think of himself as Frank’s equal.

“Cora!” Frank hollered. “We have a visitor.”

Cora entered the room and a surprised look came over
her as she looked at the shabbily dressed man who stood before her.

“Cora, our friend is cold and hungry. Why don’t you
fix him something to eat while I look for some warm clothes for him.”

Then, turning to their visitor, Frank said, “Why don’t
you have a seat at the dining room table?”

“Yes, please follow me,” Cora said. “Make yourself at
home while I fix you something to eat. Do you like bacon and eggs?”

The man nodded and took a seat at the table.

 

+++

 

As the days passed, the stranger became a topic of
conversation on Aylesford Place. By the end of the week, he had stopped at
several of the homes, and the following week he visited the rest. No one turned
him away empty-handed, but then he did not stop at the house at the end of the
street.

 

 +++

The phone rang just as Frank and Cora were about to
leave for church.

“Hello,” Frank said, trying to figure out who was
calling so early on a Sunday morning.

“Frank, this is Scott. I’ll be a little late this
morning and I was wondering if you could let everyone know. There’s nothing to
worry about. I’ll be there. I’ll just be a little late.”

“I’m glad to help out, Scott. I’ll let everyone know.”

Frank hung up the phone and told Cora about the call.
Both of them wondered what had come up. Pastor Scott was always the first
person at church on Sunday morning. So that no one would worry about him, Frank
met everyone at the door and told each person that Pastor Scott was detained.
Nancy and the children were the last to arrive. When people asked Nancy if there was anything wrong, she said, “No, Scott will be along shortly.”

Everyone sat in silence as they waited for their
pastor. More than one person wore a concerned look. A few minutes later, the
door of the church opened. A few people gasped as the homeless man who had
visited them the past two weeks entered the church. Frank noticed, too, got up
and greeted the man, and asked him to sit with him and Cora. The visitor
complied, although he hung his head much like he did on his visit the previous
week. Several people came over and welcomed the homeless man to the church. He
mumbled something, but continued to hang his head.

Brad had gone up to greet the homeless man. When he
returned to his seat, he began to smile.

“What’s so funny?” Amy asked.

“Oh, nothing.”

“All right, Brad Forrester. Tell me.”

“It’s just that I know that guy.”

“You mean the homeless guy?”

“Yep.”

“You mean you saw him before the other day?”

“Yeah, he’s a good friend of mine.”

“You mean you know homeless people.”

“Oh, I knew this guy before he was homeless.”

“Where do you know him from?”

“I’ll tell you later,” Brad replied, still continuing
to smile.

When it came time for the service to start, everyone
took a seat. They expected Pastor Scott to arrive at any moment. As the minutes
passed, many looked at their watches. At 10:40, Pastor Scott had not yet
arrived.

At 10:45, fifteen minutes after the service was to
have begun, the homeless man stood up. Everyone looked at him. He just stood
there next to Frank with his head bowed. After standing there for a couple of
minutes, seemingly in prayer, the stranger took off his coat, placed it on the
pew beside Frank, and stepped out into the aisle. Then, to the surprise of
everyone except Brad, he walked to the front of the church, turned around, and
began to remove his make-up. As soon as everyone recognized Pastor Scott, they
began to gasp. Brad turned to Amy and smiled once more.

After Pastor Scott had finished removing his make-up,
he reached over and began to take things out of a box. Then he gave his
thirty-two word sermon.

“These are some of the things you gave me these past
two weeks. Jesus said, ‘For as much as you have done for the least of these,
you have done unto me.’”

Pastor Scott sat down. The service was over.

“Did you know?” was the question people asked after
church. No one had figured it out, except Brad. Even Brad did not guess until
that very morning, even though he spent twenty minutes with his “homeless”
pastor earlier that week.

 

+++

 

Frank was surprised when he opened his front door the
next morning. There stood another homeless man. This one looked nothing like
the first one, but was the same size.

“Well, hello, Scott. It’s not like you to repeat
things. What can I do for you today?”

The homeless man repeated the words Pastor Scott had
used two weeks before, and once again Frank and Cora fed and clothed him.

 

+++

 

“Amy, has he been to your place yet?” Brad asked, as
soon as Amy answered her phone.

“He was here yesterday, but I didn’t want to bother
you because I knew you were busy working on your book.”

“Well, what do you think?”

“What do you mean, ‘What do I think?”’

“Do you think it was Scott?”

“Well, who else could it be? Anyway, you’re the
expert. You tell me.”

“Well, I just got back from taking him downtown. I
bought him a new coat, boots, and gloves. I don’t think it’s Scott. I think
this guy might really be a homeless guy.”

“Wouldn’t that be too much of a coincidence, Brad?”

“I don’t know. It’s just that I don’t think this one’s
Scott.”

“Well, you didn’t recognize Scott last week until we
got to church.”

“I didn’t even recognize him then. I just guessed that’s
who he was.”

 

+++

 

“Brad.”

“Yes, Amy.”

“Allison just called. I think you’re wrong. She saw
this week’s homeless guy come out of the church and go and knock on Barney’s
door. It must be Scott.”

“I don’t think so, Amy, but something tells me we’ll
find out soon enough.”

 

+++

 

Everyone on Aylesford Place could hardly wait for
Sunday morning to arrive. Everyone suspected that the homeless man’s identity
would be revealed. When Sunday came, once again Pastor Scott called Frank and
told him that he would be a little late for church. Frank was prepared for the
call, and he and Cora left a few minutes early to greet everyone. For a while
everything followed the pattern of the week before. No Pastor Scott, but the
rest of the Armbrusters were in attendance just like they were the previous
week.

A few minutes later, the door leading to the
fellowship hall opened and in walked the homeless man. Everyone eagerly offered
him a seat, but just like “the homeless man” did the week before, this week’s
homeless man took a seat next to Frank. Ten minutes after the service was to
have begun the man stood up and bowed his head. After a couple of minutes, he
took off his coat, stepped out into the aisle, and walked to the front of the
church. Everyone looked at each other. No one had seen Pastor Scott repeat a
sermon.

The man turned and faced the congregation, but he did
not speak. He stood there for a couple of minutes, and then the front door
opened and in walked Pastor Scott. Pastor Scott walked to the front of the
church, put his arm around the man, then turned and faced the congregation.

“This is Lou. As you know, Lou visited you this week.
I met Lou at the soup kitchen a couple of weeks ago. Lou’s homeless. For the
last several days Lou’s been sleeping in a sleeping bag in the church
fellowship hall. I asked Lou if he would help me with this week’s sermon. I
asked him to visit each of you this week and told him what to say. I also
instructed him on what he was to do before I arrived this morning. I didn’t
need your help last week, but Lou does need our help. We’re going to help Lou
get back on his feet. The church will be giving Lou everything you gave me the
two weeks I was ‘homeless,’ as well as everything you gave him this week. If
any of you know of any job openings, let me know. Once again, you were willing
to help a brother in need, and you didn’t know if he was truly a brother in
need. All of us are a brother or sister in need at some point, and we’re called
to be like Jesus. Thank you for being like Jesus these last three weeks.”

 

+++

 

On Monday morning Harry sneaked into the bedroom and
shut the door. He picked up his wallet, took out a piece of paper, opened it to
read a number, and dialed the phone.

“Hello,” said a voice on the other end.

“This is Harry Conklin. You hooked up my computer
before Christmas,” Harry whispered.

“Yes, Mr. Conklin. I remember. Is anything wrong?”

“No, sir. I just had a question.”

“What’s your question, Mr. Conklin? I’ll see if I can
answer it.”

“I was wondering if it’s possible to have two e-mail
addresses.”

“It sure is. Do you remember where I showed you how to
get your first e-mail address?”

“Yes, I still have the paper where you wrote
everything down.”

“Well, you just do the same thing to get another one.”

“Thanks a lot. Sorry to bother you.”

“No bother at all, Mr. Conklin. I hope you and your
wife are enjoying your computer and cell phones.”

“We sure are. Thanks again. Goodbye.”

Harry smiled. He had come up with an idea, and now he
was ready to follow through with his plan, only there was no way he was going
to tell Ethel. She would never let him do it. Harry had no idea that some
people might take his harmless prank the wrong way. He took his paper and
followed the instructions step by step. A few minutes later, not only was he
the [email protected] everyone knew about, but he was also
[email protected]. Finally, Harry was ready to play a prank on a neighbor.

From an e-mail Harry received the day before, he knew
that Melanie was [email protected]. “Dababe” was about to get an e-mail from
“handsome.”

“My Dear Miss Daniels,” the e-mail read. “I am a
single man who will soon be relocating to your town. Someone gave me your name
and e-mail address and told me that you were the best person to contact about
buying a house. I’m interested in a spacious house, and money’s no object as
long as I like the house. Since I’m a young, single man, I would prefer a place
near some SWF’s, if you catch my drift. Looking forward to hearing from you. I
hope we can do some business. Handsome.”

Harry chuckled as he clicked on “send.” He could just
see Melanie salivating as she read the e-mail. Not only could Harry  see  the 
commission  check  from  a  sold  house dancing in Melanie’s  head,  but  he 
figured  that  she  might think she could land a husband in the process. No one
would suspect Harry. After all, who would think Harry knew that “SWF” was
“Single White Female?

A couple of days before, Harry sent an e-mail to Moses
and asked if he or she knew Pastor Scott. After sending the e-mail to Melanie,
Harry decided to check his other e-mail account. He found that Moses had
replied to his message. The reply read, “I don’t know about Pastor Scott, but I
once knew someone who was past her prime. Moses.”

Who in the world is Moses?
Harry wondered. He decided to send an e-mail to Scott
to find out, because this person was on Scott’s e-mail list. He even checked
“Moses” on Google, but failed to find anyone with a connection to Aylesford Place or The Church On Aylesford Place.

 

+++

 

Amy’s phone rang. She picked it up and discovered it
was Brad.

“Do you know who Moses is?” Brad asked.

“Wasn’t he that guy who parted the Red Sea?” Amy
replied.

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