Phoebe Finds Her Voice (15 page)

“Don't say that. She's not that bad!”

“
What?
Did someone drop a brick on your head or something, Phoebe Franks? This is Polly Carter we're talking about. Has your mum taken
your
temperature lately?” He came over and put his hand on my head. “Cool as a cucumber! So if you're not ill you're obviously bonkers.” Suddenly he lurched towards the door and grabbed the handle as if he was trying to escape. “Help me! Please, somebody, help me! I'm trapped in the room with a madwoman – let me out!”

He stopped when he saw my face. “Sorry, Frankie. This is serious. I get it, really.”

“It's
really
serious. She's been on my case ever since I started at Woodville but I've never told
anyone,
and then at the hospital she sort of said sorry, well not really, but she said she just did stuff to me to make her friends laugh. But there's more to it than that, I know there is. Anyway, I don't want you to tell anyone because since then she hasn't actually done anything and I think deep down she feels really bad.”

I looked over at Monty B. I knew he was an idiot, but it was such a relief to tell someone about Polly after all this time.

“You really are bonkers if you think she's sorry, Frankie, but I won't say anything, I swear. Next time she does something, though – you tell me and I'll sort her out for you. You can always rely on me,” he said, doing a silly salute. And in a funny sort of way I knew I could.

We went back inside with the tea and a plate of biscuits and got to work on the costumes. Mandy had arrived and she was laying everything out on the floor. Monty B and I were going to pin the patterns onto the material, Monty B's nan was going to cut them out, and Mandy and Mum were going to do all the sewing. We worked non-stop for two hours and then took a break to have something to eat. Mum carried Sara down from her room and laid her on the couch and then ordered a Chinese takeaway from up the road.

Everyone made a huge fuss over Sara and she just loved being the centre of attention. She couldn't stop talking to Monty B either, just went on and on telling him about the hospital and the huge injection she had in her back and about how she couldn't wait to start drama and I could tell Monty B thought she was fantastic. Everyone always does.

Then all of a sudden, with no warning at all, Sara grabbed Monty B's arm and said, “But I've got to tell you the funniest thing, Monty B. Do you remember that day when Phoebe gelled back her hair, and there were bits of tissue stuck in it, you know that day when you came round to give her a lift to drama. Well—”

“Hey, I bet you didn't know,” I interrupted in a really loud voice. I had no idea what I was going to say next, but I knew I had to shut Sara up. “I bet you didn't know that…that…” I searched my brain for something to say.
Anything.
Everyone stopped eating and looked at me. There
had
to be something there, some nonsense hidden away in my head that I could waffle on about.

And then suddenly I remembered this one time Donny got to meet the Queen at this special awards ceremony. In this interview he gave he said he was so nervous that he ended up saying, “Your Majesty, it's an honour to meet you. And did you know, Ma'am, that the average person uses approximately fifty-seven sheets of toilet paper a day.”

I knew exactly how he felt. This was even worse than meeting the Queen. Everyone was waiting, and I knew that if I didn't speak Sara was going to say something totally humiliating about me and Monty B.

“Er…I bet you didn't know,” I said, “that it's actually impossible to stick your elbow into your ear, hahaha, or that, er…when an armadillo digs a hole it can hold its breath for up to six whole minutes without dying.”

For a moment no one said anything at all, they just looked at me as if I'd finally cracked, but then Monty B started to laugh.

“Oh that's brilliant, Frankie,” he spluttered, bits of sweet and sour chicken balls flying across the table. “That's
so
random; I swear I'm going to choke in a minute.”

“And I bet you didn't know,” I said, unable to stop now I'd started, “that a giraffe is the only animal that can clean its ears with its own tongue. Or that rats can't burp.”

I thought Monty B was going to fall off his chair – he was gasping and groaning and clutching his stomach and it was so funny I started to laugh with him.

“They're like a double act, these two are,” said Monty B's nan, and for some reason that made me laugh even more.

I don't even know where all that stuff came from; it must have been buried deep in my brain somewhere just waiting to come out. I laughed so much I thought I was going to throw up or wet myself or something and then when I stopped laughing I realized I was starving. I ate about three spring rolls in a row and for the first time since Sara was rushed to hospital my throat didn't feel clogged up at all.

After tea, Mum opened a bottle of red wine for the grown-ups and we carried on cutting, pinning and sewing until about nine. The later it got, the more giggly everyone became, and at one point Mandy leaped up and did this hilarious impression of Arthur swinging his cape and pulling at his beard which had us all in stitches.

“You know what, Mandy?” Mum said, laughing so much she was almost hysterical. Her words were slurred and I think she was a bit drunk. “I really do admire you; working all week as a teacher, and then spending your weekends with kids as well. Whatever possessed you to start up the group in the first place?” She took another big swig of wine. “You are either a living saint or completely insane.”

“Oh no, there was nothing saintly about it, Maxine,” said Mandy. “More to do with the end of a bad relationship. After spending months waiting for my phone to ring, I decided it was time to get off my backside and do something for myself. So it's the demon Declan you should be thanking, not me.”

She grabbed one of the Sweet-Dreamer dresses. “And here I am, six months later, spending my Saturday night remaking a bunch of costumes after the first lot were sold by Mrs. Beagle at a church fund-raising sale, and wondering how I could get away with murder!”

“And who says the glamour's gone out of show business?” said Monty B's nan, and we all burst out laughing again.

Finally, all thirteen costumes were finished. Mandy got up and stretched. “I can't believe we've done it. I'll have to sew on some patches but I can sort that out during the week. Thank you all so, so much. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your help and I'm not going to let these costumes out of my sight for a second!”

When everyone had gone home Mum poured herself another glass of wine and sat down on the edge of the couch. Sara was upstairs asleep and the house was suddenly very quiet after all the laughing and mucking about.

“I'll just clear up shall I?” I said, but Mum didn't answer. I began to pick up the scraps of material and thread that were scattered all over the floor. I crawled around the room while Mum just sat there staring into her wine and neither of us said a word. She was so still it was creepy.

“You know I don't think Mandy could've done it without you, Mum,” I said after a bit. “And it was nice to see Monty B's nan again, wasn't it?”

But she didn't say anything. She just sat there staring into her glass. I put all the scraps into a plastic bag and I was just by the door about to go upstairs when she made this sort of horrible gasping noise, like she couldn't breathe properly. I swung back round and she was looking right at me.

“I think I've lost Dad for ever, Phoebs,” she sobbed.

“No, don't say that, Mum.” I dropped the bag and rushed across to her.

“I have. I've lost him for ever. And do you want to know the funniest thing? He's the only man I've ever loved. I was sixteen when we met, you know; still at school. That means I've loved him for more than half my life. And there's never been anyone else, not in all that time. But have you seen the way he looks at me, Phoebe? Like I'm not even there. Like I'm just some person he used to know.”

She was waving her glass about and the wine was sloshing all over her lap. I kneeled down in front of her and took the glass out of her hand. “You haven't lost him – what are you talking about? He still loves you, Mum, I know he does. Look, why don't you phone him? Or I could phone him if you want? I'll try to arrange a meeting – a proper one. You just need to talk to each other.”

“I couldn't cope with him moping around all the time. There was no money and he wouldn't sort himself out and it went on and on while I was trying to keep everything together. It was me who had to take on extra shifts at the Co-op whilst he just kept moaning about losing his precious job.” She slumped back into the sofa, shaking her head from side to side. “I never wanted to hurt anyone, but it was like having three children instead of two. You do understand, don't you, Phoebe?”

She held her hands out to me and I climbed onto her lap, curling myself into a ball. I couldn't even remember the last time we'd had a cuddle, not a proper one.

“You're such a good girl, Phoebs,” she whispered into my hair. “I love you so much.”

Later on in bed, wide awake, clutching my special shell, I realized that there was only one person who could get Mum and Dad talking again.

“They don't call me
Phoebe Franks Super-Sorter
for nothing,” I whispered into the darkness. Of course they don't call me
Phoebe Franks Super-Sorter
at all, whoever
they
are, but I wasn't about to let a little thing like that stop me!

When we arrived at drama for the dress rehearsal the following Saturday, the hall was full of people getting ready for an evening performance of
The Ocean Deep
or whatever Arthur's play was called.

Arthur himself was nowhere in sight and Mandy was trying to explain to one of the guys there, as patiently as she could, that this was our one and only opportunity for a dress rehearsal. We started to get changed anyway. Tara Perkins's mum and Catharine's older sister had arrived early to help with hair and make-up.

The Sweet-Dreamers had to wear foundation, eyeliner and some red face paint to make their cheeks rosy. But the Jelly-Skulls had to look really scary, so they were having the outline of a skull drawn on their faces, and their hair back-combed with loads of hairspray to make it stand on end.

I hardly recognized myself in the mirror when Tara's mum had finished with me. My freckles were all covered up for a start and I wondered if there was some magic cream or operation I could have to get rid of them for ever.

“You look great, Frankie,” said Monty B, coming over. “But not as good as me in my tutu! And don't forget,” he whispered, “if Polly gives you any more trouble – I'm your man!”

“Oh, yeah,” I said, giggling. “She'll be dead scared of you wearing
that!
”

Eventually, Mandy and the stage manager of Arthur's play, whose name was Julian, came to some sort of agreement; he and his crew needed to get the stage ready for
their
play, but Julian promised Mandy that he would come in during the week and help get the hall ready for
ours
. He went off to have a chat with Ellie's dad who was busy rigging up lights, and Mandy grabbed some chairs to mark out an area on the floor to be our
makeshift
stage.

“Oh my God, yeah, did you see how Mandy was looking at that guy, Julian?” Neesha said suddenly. “You can tell she really fancies him.”

“But how do you know she hasn't got a boyfriend already?” said Ellie, who was looking through her script for one final, last-minute practice.

“Because,” Neesha went on, in the loudest voice, “I actually heard him ask her out for a drink, and she said yes. And anyway, yeah, it's obvious she fancies him or else why would she let
him
use the stage when it's supposed to be
our
dress rehearsal?”

“Right, you lot, we're starting,” Mandy called out, putting an end to the conversation. “Now, I want everyone to sit down for a second and listen. First of all, I don't want ANY talking while we're rehearsing. I know we're not on the stage, but you've got to treat this as if it's the real thing. There's no time to muck about. This is our very last opportunity to practise before opening night, and we've got to use it properly.”

It started off so well. We did the opening scene better than we'd ever done it, but in the next scene it all fell apart. First of all Ellie couldn't remember any of her lines, and then when she did remember them, she kept saying them in the wrong place. Like at one point Catharine said, “How did you sleep last night, Fizz-Wiz? Any nightmares?” And Ellie said, “Three teaspoons of honey, and a good squeeze of sunshine, Sabine, that's what the dream recipe says.” And then they just stood there staring at each other, totally confused.