Perfectly Shattered (3 page)

Once she went back to the dining room, she got Allen aside and politely explained that she hadn’t been too well the night before—not too far from the truth. She was going to have to abandon the tour and participate another time. He offered his regrets, and she escaped out to the fresh air as fast as she could, risking one quick look at Bradan as she flew by. He had his arm around Tanya, but his eyes were on Cami. And when she glanced his way, the electricity sparked between them.

Since they were already in Belltown, it wasn’t far to her apartment. The walk would do her good, clear her head. What she needed most was to get away. Away from Bradan. And away from his gaze. He’d see into her heart if she let him. And that wasn’t going to happen. She couldn’t let it.

Something was different, though. The city looked different—the restaurants, coffee houses, even the water in the bay looked different. And Cami realized that she’d been changed. The tough protective barrier she had around her heart had cracked. And it hurt. For many reasons—not the least of which was that she could have been in Bradan’s arms that very minute, but wasn’t.

And she wouldn’t be. She would never be. It was a dream. Not only wasn’t she his type, he was a bad choice for her. He drank to excess, screwed around, and could wrap her around his finger after knowing her less than twenty-four hours.

Then why was Bradan all she wanted? All she thought about. All that consumed her. And she feared it wasn’t over. A kiss like that was not something easily forgotten.
If ever
.

Chapter 3

Cami’s one splurge was her home espresso maker, which was a true luxury considering there were coffee places all over Seattle. But she loved espresso made from freshly ground coffee first thing in the morning. Or whenever she got up.

After the fiasco at the food tour, she’d gone home and lost herself in movies, re-watching some of her favorite vampire films until way past midnight. It was the perfect distraction, and she loved the magnetism of the vampires with their unseemly love stories. Horror flicks gave her nightmares, so she avoided them. But not so for the vampires.

Dinner had passed without notice, but later in the evening she’d savored the lamb-filled ravioli with mint from a catering event two days before. One of the benefits of her job was that when food would otherwise go to waste, Malena allowed her to take some home. It was an opportunity to try new dishes and a way to get ideas of some she could attempt to make.

Food wasn’t just sustenance to Cami, it was one of the true pleasures of life. The tastes, the aromas, and even the visual could boost her out of an otherwise bummer of a day. After the encounter with Bradan, the thought of digging into a carton of sea-salt caramel ice cream, her favorite, had been tempting. But she hadn’t had any in the fridge and was too lazy to go buy some. And it was cold and dark out.

Just as well. Each bite of the ravioli had carried her away, just far enough away from real life and real problems. It was always that way. Gourmet food transcended just eating. It was of another world, one that Cami liked much better. The only thing better than eating it was creating it. Many hours had been spent in the kitchen, lost from the world, worries and stresses forgotten. If only for a while.

Among her many goals was to win a cooking competition. She’d entered one that was coming up in a few weeks, the Bayside Simple Gourmet. It was for amateur cooks in the Seattle area, just her speed. With recipes she’d used at home, plus what she was learning from the food scene in the area, her chances weren’t bad. Maybe not good, but not terrible.

Late in the morning, she struggled to open her eyes. It was overcast, as most days were, and the gray sky loomed outside her window. Plus it was chilly, which didn’t inspire her to get up. But she had to. There were things to do, and she had to meet Brittany later. Stretching, she turned to look at the clock.

Nine. Not too bad. Peeling the covers back, she stretched again. Cami slid out of her warm bed and went straight to the small kitchen to start the espresso. After dumping the beans into her burr grinder, the most important piece of equipment for making quality espresso, she flipped the switch. It ground the roasted beans evenly into a fine grind, but not too fine. A barista back home had taught her the secret to perfect espresso, a skill she valued.

No part of her body came to life before her morning cup, so that was always first. Second was the bathroom while the machine produced the aromatic brew. When she returned to the kitchen, an intense coffee smell filled the room, and she looked through the cupboard for her tiny ceramic cup.

Not long after, showered and with enough caffeine in her system, Cami stood in front of her chopping board and began the prep for her risotto. Strewn across the counter were the celery, cheese, eggs, and pasta, with two big bowls plus an array of utensils. It wouldn’t take long. She cranked up some music—heavy metal, which always made her blood pound and her cooking a notch better—and began making a total mess of the kitchen. All the while, her mind wandered.

It should have been on honing her cooking skills, but it wasn’t. Luckily, she didn’t cut a finger while thinking of Bradan. There was no way to get him out of her mind. He’d successfully worked his way into her consciousness without even being there. A light tingling sensation stirred in her body.

The kiss had been unforgettable. Her hand went to her lips as she thought about it. How he felt, and tasted, was too hot. Way too hot. Cami shook herself back to the present. It was over. The guy had more women than she had spices in her cupboard. He was not someone to get involved with. Not that she had a chance to. Not now.

A couple of hours later, already dressed in her tights and cotton shirt, Cami grabbed her warmest coat and took off for the Pilates center. It wasn’t far, so she jogged the short distance to warm up. The weather had turned colder and she wondered if it would snow. Between buildings she caught glimpses of the bay.

The air was brisk and fresh; all along the street were shops of all kinds. Coffee and pastry aromas wafted past. One guy jogged with his dog, an Eskimo breed with thick fur. Another couple pushed a baby in a stroller. She rounded the corner and started up a smaller cobblestone street lined with green trees growing out of the planters along the walkway.

Half a block up, she saw the awning with the words
Sally’s Pilates
. Inside the studio, Cami looked around for her friend. The atmosphere was relaxing, with light blue-green walls and sand-colored carpet. In one room was all the equipment for private sessions, but they were unaffordable. So she went down the hall to the group session room.

Brittany was already inside, looking fit in her black tights and royal-blue halter top. The room was warm, and Cami hung her coat up on a hook at the back. Her friend was doing some light stretches and hadn’t noticed her yet. It was good they’d partnered for the classes, giving Cami more motivation for showing up.

Spotting her, Brittany went right over. Taking Cami’s arm, she led her over to the wall to talk in private. “You won’t believe the night I had.”

“I think I might.”

Her friend shook her head and then rubbed her hand over her face. “Amazing. He was amazing.”

Cami did some easy stretches while they talked. “I take it you got together with him after the dinner the other evening.”

“Got together. That doesn’t begin to describe it.” Not even bothering to lower her voice, Brittany went on. “The guy is a sex machine.”

Cami raised her eyebrows. “That good, huh?”

Leaning close, her friend whispered dramatically. “You have no idea.”

Knowing Brittany, she would have launched into all the details, down to the brand of condom the guy used. At least Cami
hoped
they used one. But the instructor started the music and waved everyone over to start the class. For that hour, Cami was saved from the explicit description of Tyler and his rock-star sex moves.

Cami enjoyed Brittany, and they’d become friends easily. It was just that she tended to both give and want too much information. After class, the sharing would continue. It was okay, though. As long as her friend was excited about the guy she was with, nothing was wrong with it.

Back in her home town of Walla Walla, things were a bit more conservative. In contrast, the big city didn’t allow for as much privacy. And everyone seemed more outgoing, talking as if nothing were out of bounds. Still getting used to it, Cami figured the relationship with Brittany was good for her. It would force her to come out of her shell.

She didn’t want to be the weirdo. Cami needed to loosen up. As she held a particularly difficult move, she thought of Bradan. He seemed to personify the city with his bold, holding-nothing-back attitude. Back home, no man would behave that way. Either that or she was never in the right crowd.
I want to leave with you
, he’d said in the dim hall with his face a breath away from hers.

What if she had? Did she miss a turning point in her life? Everything would be so different if she’d acquiesced. A big part of her wished she would have. Her basic instincts always guided her in the wrong direction, though. Cami was sure it wouldn’t lead to anything good. Bradan was trouble. She didn’t know a lot about men, but that part was clear to her.

Trouble was what she didn’t need. She’d moved to the city to start a new life, and in the few weeks she’d been there it looked promising. A man like Bradan could bring back everything she wanted to escape. Emotions walled off, deep inside, could just as easily surface. She didn’t kid herself about that. Cami wasn’t strong. She’d never been strong.

After class, they went back to the Belltown apartment. The weather had eased up, so they made their way to the rooftop patio because of the killer view. Coats were required and there were two patio heaters, which helped a little. Oolong tea with extra lemon hit the spot.

Brittany sipped her hot drink and eyed the view of the bay. “I like coming to your place. You make such cool stuff.”

Cami laughed. “You mean like tea?”

“Ooooolong,” she replied, exaggerating the word.

“Well, try this.” Cami had brought up a huge casserole dish that was still warm. She scooped some of her creation onto plates and handed one over.

Brittany tentatively took a nibble. “Mmm, what is this?”

Cami covered her mouth with her hand when she spoke after taking a big bite. “Mmm. Not bad. It’s nettle risotto with reggiano cheese and celery leaves.”

After two more bites, Brittany put her fork down for a moment. “What’s nettle?”

“It’s an herb. It gives it that rich, earthy taste.” Cami took another bite, savoring the exquisite flavor.

“If you say so. To me it’s just good.” Brittany put her feet up on one of the small patio tables and leaned back with a satisfied look.

Cami sipped some of her tea. “You must know about gourmet food from all the catering.”

“You’d think. But I just serve it; I don’t make it.” She unclipped her long, dark hair and shook it out. “Besides, the stuff you make is different.”

“I hope so. I entered a contest, so I’m practicing and learning some new dishes.”

Brittany rubbed her flat belly. “Well, invite me over anytime.” She was quiet for a moment before another thought occurred to her. “Hey, how did the food tour go? Sorry I bailed.”

Cami wrapped her arms together as protection from the cold. “It was a disaster.”

Her friend looked over, giving her full attention.

“Remember the guy I spilled scallops on?”

Brittany giggled. “He’s not someone you forget.”

“True. Well, he shows up at the tour. This time with some other woman.”

“You’re kidding.”

“What’s the deal with that?”

It occurred to Cami that her friend’s dating practices weren’t that much different from Bradan’s, as she’d been known to go from one guy to the next. Maybe Cami was out of step. Still, a girl a day seemed a bit excessive.

“I guess he didn’t hit it off with the blonde.”

“I should have been there with you. Now I really feel bad.” Her light brown eyes conveyed the regret her words expressed.

“Yeah, you should. There I was all alone. Everyone else was couples.”

“Oh God.”

Cami pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. “I didn’t stay. No way I could stay. So I didn’t end up doing the tour either.”

She could have spilled the story of her encounter with Bradan, right down to the intimate kiss that still burned her lips. But she didn’t. Cami wasn’t like Brittany, and it just felt too private, too hot, to be shared. Even with a girlfriend. Maybe another time, but not yet.

“You like this guy, don’t you?” Brittany looked at her expectantly.

Cami ran hand through her hair. “He’s annoying.”

“Uh huh.” Brittany looked away, but her little smile made it clear that she didn’t believe it for a second.

Chapter 4

Bradan had the feeling he’d made a mistake. And it wasn’t going on the food tour. Tanya Martel was a client and his company had been hired for a web project for her law firm. The fact was that she was interested in him and made no secret of it. Twice she’d come on to him, but he’d had other dates and they didn’t connect.

There never seemed to be a shortage of women, and getting them in his bed wasn’t difficult. If Tanya wanted to eat gourmet food first, that was fine with him. Good food and booze were aphrodisiacs, as if he needed any. Sex was his number-one passion, along with his career and working out at the gym. And he did plenty of all three.

One big advantage of the tour had been running into Cami. Of course, he’d made an ass of himself. She wasn’t the kind of woman he was used to, and he came on strong. Hell, he was just lewd.
I want to leave with you
. What was he thinking?

That was it; he normally didn’t need to think. The women he’d encountered would have just said yes, and that would have been it. Not Cami. And how could he not have seen that? Too much booze, that was how. He and Tanya had started drinking before lunch.