Perfect Sacrifice (57 page)

"How is he?" Dr. Solaris asked softly, breaking the rather heavy silence that had set in.  Ray only lowered her head, placing it in her hands.

"I don't know," she answered sadly.  "He…he lost so much blood.  I was afraid that I wouldn't get him here in time."  She raised her head and looked to Dr. Solaris.  "I'm sorry," she said genuinely.

"For what?" he asked, confused as to why she would apologize.

"I broke my promise," she said.  "I let Ramirez hurt Leon, and now he might…"  She shook her head, not wanting to think about it.  Leon wouldn't die.  He wasn't allowed to.  She didn't want him to.

"Will he…?" began Chris softly.  "Will he really die?"  Ray bit her bottom lip, unsure of how to answer that.  She honestly didn't know.  She wasn't sure how strong Leon was when it came to injuries.  She couldn't help but wish it had been her.  She would have had no problem.  She could have piloted her Geno back with the hole in her stomach.  Why did it have to be Leon?

Ray reached over and put an arm around Chris's shoulders, pulling him close.  She rested her head against his as he leaned against her shoulder.  She closed her eyes, fighting off the last remains of her tears.

"He'll make it," she said softly.  "He has to.  I won't let him get off that easy."  Chris only nodded, his expression still the same morbid, depressed one he had had before.  He had already lost his mother.  He didn't need to lose Leon too.  He would be lonely without his brother.

Dr. Solaris just watched his younger son and Ray, noticing how Ray was doing her best to quell the uneasiness in Chris.  She wouldn't be able to though, no matter how hard she tried.  Chris loved his older brother.  The thought of losing him was devastating.  Dr. Solaris didn't want to think about it either.  He continued to watch as Ray just held Chris, her head sitting atop his.  She was trying so hard to comfort him.  Almost like the way an older sister would.  David had to give a small smile at that.  He could dream after all, couldn't he?

Dr. Solaris watched as hundreds of different emotions flashed through Ray's eyes.  She wasn't nearly as sure as she had sounded when talking to Chris.  After all, she was the only one who had been there.  She had gone through the fear, the guilt, and the worry.  She alone was responsible for what happened to him, and if Leon died, she would undoubtedly blame herself.  She had lost so many people that she cared about all because of Ramirez.  He seemed determined to shred every piece of mental and emotional security she had left.  He would tear it down until she was nothing more than a cowering child that he could easily break.  He was praying off of the one thing she truly feared: being helpless.

It was the one thing she feared the most, even more so than her fear of spiders.  She couldn't stand being helpless, being unable to provide assistance to her friends.  She wanted to save people, to protect them.  Every time she failed, her walls were cracked just a little more.  If she kept breaking promises, if she kept letting people down, she would break.  If that happened, no one, not even Leon, would be able to help her.  Ray would be dead to them.

"Excuse me," began a woman dressed in a nurse's outfit, a clipboard in her hand.  She quickly drew their attention.  Dr. Solaris had been so deep into his mental analysis that he hadn't even noticed her coming.  "You're all here for Leon Solaris, right?"

"Yes," he answered her.  "How is he?"  The nurse flipped through a few pages on her clipboard, the firm line of her mouth forming into a frown.

"Well," she began, just letting the word hang there.  "None of his internal organs were damaged too badly.  They should all heal given time, but he did lose a lot of blood."  She tucked the clipboard under her arm and sighed deeply.  "I guess we'll just have to wait and see.  It could go either way."

"So then," began Chris in a soft voice.  "Leon could…"

"I won't lie to you," she said with sad eyes.  "There is a possibility that he won't make it.  These kinds of things all depend on how strong he is mentally and physically.  There really isn't anything more we can do.  It's all up to him now."  She watched as they all hung their heads in despair.  She couldn't blame them.  She had gone though too many of these information relays to not recognize the looks in their eyes.

She slowly turned around and began walking away.  She would leave them for a little while and let them deal with this.  It wasn't easy hearing that someone you loved could possibly die.

"Oh," she began as she quickly remembered something.  She turned back towards them and gave a soft smile.  "If you want, you can go see him."  They all raised their heads and looked to her.  "He's in room 128.  Feel free to visit at anytime, okay?  You have permission."  With that taken care of, she left them to do as they pleased.

Dr. Solaris and Chris both stood up, but Ray stayed where she was.  She was staring at the floor, a very disheartened expression on her face.  Her cherry colored eye lacked almost all of its life.  Was she upset about what the nurse had said?

"Ray, what is it?" David asked her softly.

"It should have been me," she whispered softly.  "Ramirez should have gone after me."

"It's not your fault," he told her.

"If only I had listened to him earlier…if only I had let him explain…" she began as she buried her face in her hands, not listening to what Dr. Solaris had said.  "Then he never would have left…and Ramirez never would have attacked him."

"Ray, there was nothing you could do," he told her gently, not wanting her to have to feel guilty about this.

"No," she whispered as she sulked further.  "You're wrong.  I could have.  I could have done something.  I could have moved his Geno for him.  I…if only I had concentrated."

"What are you talking about?" asked Chris, confused as to what she was rambling about.

"I…I could have moved his Geno," she repeated, "like I did mine.  I could have saved him…like I did when we fought that giant Geno.  If only I had concentrated harder…if only…if only…"

"Ray, what's done is done," Dr. Solaris said, echoing her earlier words to Jace.  "Instead of focusing on the past, we have to do what we can now."  Ray didn't say anything.  She just sat there with her head in her hands.

"Are you coming?" asked Chris as he and Dr. Solaris began walking down the hallway.  She only shook her head.  She needed to think for a while.

Chris was about to say something when Dr. Solaris placed a hand on his shoulder.  He simple shook his head, and Chris refrained from asking his question.  They turned and began walking towards room 128, leaving Ray completely and utterly alone with her thoughts.

* * * *

The day was passing rather slowly, and Ray had spent the whole day in the waiting room, thinking.  When Dr. Solaris and Chris went to the cafeteria to get something to eat, Ray finally stood up.  She had somewhere to go.  She had a Geno pilot to visit.

Ray walked listless down the hallway, not seeing anything that was in front of her.  She passed nurses and patients, but she didn't really see any of them.  She barely saw the white walls that surrounded her.  She was like the walking dead, her mind going in circles to the point where she looked like she was zoning out.  She had such a blank look upon her face that some would possibly think that she was a ghost haunting the hallways.

Ray finally reached room 128, and without hesitating she walked in, slowly closing the door behind her.  She walked over towards the bed, the only thing her eyes could hold within them.  On it rested Leon, bandages covering his torso, a respirator situated over his mouth.  He had an IV in his right wrist, sustaining his blood count.  He really had lost a lot.  There was also a heart monitor, its soft beeping being the only noise in the room.  That one sound was like music to Ray's ears.  It meant that he was alive, that he was still there with her.

She walked over to the bed and took a seat next to it.  She just watched as his chest slowly rose and fell, almost as if he was just sleeping.  If that were only the case.  If only he was just sleeping, then maybe she wouldn't feel so guilty.  Maybe she wouldn't be so mad at herself for letting this happen.  Too bad that would never be the case.  She would have to face the reality of what had happened.  He would either live or die, and she had no control over it anymore.  It was his decision, and it was so unnerving having to accept that.

"R.C?" called a soft voice coming from the communicator on her wrist.  "R.C?  I know you're there.  Pick up."  Ray lifeless raised her arm and flipped up the small screen.  She was quickly met with the emerald eyes of her fellow knight. 

She said nothing to her, only stared at the screen, wanting to know why Abby had called her.   She had enough to deal with right now.  She didn't need to find out that the GRC needed her for something.

"R.C, where are you?" Abby asked, concern hanging heavy in her voice.  "We called the base, but Jace said you weren't around.  He looked depressed.  Just what is going on?"  Ray cleared her throat, inhaling deeply before speaking.

"…Leon was attacked by Ramirez," she answered softly, almost inaudibly.

"My God…" whispered Abby.  "Is he alright?  Where are you?"

"I'm at Torran," said Ray in the same lifeless tone as before.  "And no, he's not alright.  The doctor said that…he could…he might die."  She bit her lip, suppressing the tears that threatened to break through the barriers of her eyes.  She couldn't let them fall.  She never could.  She wasn't allowed.

"Do you want us to come down?" Abby asked her gently, the concern hanging heavy in her voice.

"Could you?" Ray asked in a voice that resembled that of a frightened child.  Perhaps that was what she really was.  She was a frightened child, afraid of losing her best friend.  If that was the case, then Abby and Brian really needed to come down.  She really needed a few friends to help her through this.

"We'll be down in a few hours, alright?" Abby asked, and Ray only nodded in response.  With that said, she shut the communicator off and continued to sulk by Leon's bedside.  It was all she could really do.  This was her fault after all.  Her mind would never let her live it down.

* * * *

Andy sat alone in his laboratory as he researched the sun symbol on the projector in front of him.  He needed to know how all of this was connected.  Ramirez wanted to know.  He wanted to find someone of today that had Sacrum flowing through their veins.  How was that even possible?  All the ancients had died out.  Then again, how had they gotten Sacrum?  Wouldn't it have carried through the generations if it was genetic?  If so, then why didn't everyone have Sacrum?  They all had an ancestor that was an ancient.  After all, they had been the first people of Des.

The door to the room opened, startling Andy and making him lose his train of thought.  He spun around in his chair to face the now open doorway, and standing there was the silver haired devil himself.  He wore a smirk on his face as he walked over.  Strange, usually he was asleep by now.  It was rather late, approaching midnight.  Why was he still awake?

"Hello sir," Andy greeted softly, his eyes following Ramirez as the man walked through the laboratory.  He seemed to be just observing the room, looking at all of the equipment and the books.  Didn't he have something better to do?  However, he seemed to be in a very good mood.  This aroused the question of why.  What would put the general in such a good mood?

"Hello Andy," he finally said without facing the boy.

"You seem…happy sir," began Andy after a while, his curiosity getting the better of him.  He was still a child, after all.

"Because I am," answered Ramirez with a smirk as he glanced back at the fifteen year old.  Andy shivered a little.  That icy cold smile would make even the strongest of men quiver.  Ramirez had that effect on people.  Most feared him, and those who didn't were foolish.  Even Ray wasn't stupid enough to cross him on purpose.  Everyone knew to stay away from Ramirez.  You only engage him if he starts it.

"If I may ask," began Andy as he put his book down.  "Why?"

"I think I finally did it," he said, obviously proud of whatever he had done.  "I broke her.  I finally shattered her defenses."

"Who?" gulped Andy, fearing his general's answer.  There was only one woman he ever talked about, and that was the ace knight.

"Rayla Cayden," he answered, and Andy tensed up.  He had to try and keep himself from seeming suspicious.  Even though she was their enemy, she was his sister.  He still cared about her, no matter how much the people at the organization hated her.

"How?" Andy questioned, once again fearing the answer.  It would probably involve someone's death.  Whose death would affect her?  Hadn't she already lost a good majority of her fellow knights?  Ramirez wouldn't have killed Abby and Brian, right?  They were smarter than that, weren't they?  Who was he talking about?

"It was like killing two birds with one stone," he began, "or perhaps like killing one and wounding the other."  He fully turned to Andy, his smirk still playing.  "I killed Leon Solaris right in front of her."  Andy couldn't help but shudder, his breath catching in the back of his throat.  Had he heard right?  Had Ramirez really killed Leon?  Even though he hadn't spent much time with the Geno warrior, he had instantly liked him.  He could tell that he had been trustworthy, that he would keep whatever secret was presented to him.  It was obvious that Ray had liked him too.  This would greatly wound her, and perhaps she wouldn't recover this time.  It wasn't fair.