Perfect Fling (15 page)

Suddenly, she didn’t want to think anymore. “I’m wiped out.”

Understanding lit his heavy-lidded gaze. “Go up to the master bedroom and lie down. Nick left the house open for me, so I want to walk through and make sure everything’s secure.” He hesitated before continuing. “I’ll meet you up there?”

She was surprised he’d phrased it as a question. After all the bossing around, suddenly he was hesitant?

“Sure.” Hadn’t she told him she wanted to be in his bed? Unless . . . “If you want to.”

“I just thought maybe you were pissed. You wouldn’t be in this mess if it weren’t for me.”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s not like you asked this crazy lady to stalk me. Assuming it’s her, anyway. But I do have a question,” she said before she lost her nerve.

“Shoot.”

“Maybe I don’t have the right to ask this, but . . . did you sleep with her? Is that why she got the wrong idea about the two of you?” she asked.

“No!” The word exploded from him, his expression horrified. “Is that what you think? That I led her on during the assignment and then dumped her as soon as it was over?”

She bit the inside of her cheek. “Not really.”

He folded his arms across his chest. “But the thought crossed your mind.”

“For a minute,” she admitted. “I mean, it’s pretty extreme for a woman to go psycho. Although I have prosecuted cases where it’s happened.” She raised her hands, then let them drop, knowing she was rambling, not making sense. “Just chalk it up to me being hormonal.”

And wanting to be special to this man and so very afraid she was just another body in his bed. Her pulse set a rapid beat in her throat.

He studied her for a long moment. She stared back, taking in his exhausted features, the tension in his taut cheekbones, his eyes dark, mouth pulled tight. This was getting to him every bit as much as it was her, and she felt bad getting into arguments with him over nothing.

“Go lock up. I’ll see you in a few minutes,” she told him. They were both tortured by their own thoughts, and maybe space would help.

She just wished she knew what his thoughts were.

Despite wanting to stay awake, Erin passed out the minute she laid down on the comfortable bed and slept straight through until sunlight streamed through the windows the next morning. She wasn’t usually such a heavy sleeper, but this pregnancy was totally changing so much about her normal habits.

She blinked, taking in her surroundings. Windows with large plantation shutters wrapped around one side of the room. The decor was neutral, a warm cream color scheme, allowing for whoever moved in to the house to add their own touches.

Not letting herself dwell on the thought of another owner of this beautiful home, she stretched, and suddenly noticed she was alone in the bed. Cole must have gotten up much earlier.

She went to the bathroom, surprised to find all her toiletries laid out for her already. This sweet, caring side of him never ceased to amaze her, and to keep her addicted to hope—the very thing that might destroy her in the end. Ignoring her wayward thoughts, she brushed her teeth, washed her face, and walked out in time to see Cole step into the room.

His hair was still mussed from sleep, but he’d pulled on an old pair of jeans, leaving them unbuttoned. His feet were bare, as was his chest, and Erin’s mouth watered at the sight of him.

“Morning,” she said, not surprised the word came out a husky croak.

“Hey. Sleep okay?”

She nodded. “Like a dead person.”

His mouth turned down. “Don’t even joke like that.”

She settled on the bed, tucking one leg beneath her. “If I don’t joke, I’ll cry, and I refuse to go there.”

His eyes darkened and he joined her on the bed. “I hate that any part of my life has touched yours. Jed was right when he said I’d be no good for you.”

“Jed’s an ass,” Erin muttered. “Are you seriously telling me you feel responsible for a crazy woman’s actions?” It wasn’t the first time he’d let himself feel responsible for someone else’s behavior. First his father, now this woman.

He let out a snort of disbelief. “A crazy woman whose radar you wouldn’t even be on if not for me.”

“It could just have easily been someone I prosecuted and who got out and wanted revenge. We aren’t responsible for other people’s actions.”

Cole eyed her warily. As usual, he found himself disarmed by her practical nature and her ability to let life just go on around her. “It’s not the same thing.”

“Why? Because you don’t like it when your solitary world touches anyone else’s?” she asked, challenging him in a way no one else ever dared to.

Her eyes, more green today in the sun-drenched room, flashed angry sparks. Her spunk, her ability to bounce back, to go up against him, aroused him like crazy. Made it impossible to keep his distance, when distance would be in her best interest.

“Well?” she asked, straightening her shoulders.

Her soft, silky tank fell lower, exposing mouthwatering cleavage.

“Well what?” He’d totally lost the thread of conversation.

Erin’s gaze fell to her chest before she raised her gaze to his once more. “You’re such a man,” she muttered, but with cheeky laughter, not anger, in her voice.

That’s all she needed to do in order to completely disarm him and make him putty in her hands. “Something wrong with that?” he asked, suddenly feeling equally playful.

She raked her gaze over him, the same awareness he’d seen when she walked out of the bathroom flaring there now. “Nope, nothing wrong at all.”

Her words and teasing tone poked at him, and with a low growl he pulled her beneath him on the bed. She stared up at him with those eyes he could drown in.

“You’re dangerous, Cole Sanders,” she said, reaching up and brushing his hair off his forehead.

She didn’t know the half of it. “Never intentionally, not to you.”

Before she could reply or he could get himself in any more trouble, he sealed his mouth over hers, effectively ending all conversation.

She moaned and slid her fingers into his hair, holding him in place. Another surprise. This woman who clearly didn’t know from one-night stands four months ago was now his equal in the bedroom. Damned if that didn’t turn him on even more.

And when she hooked a leg around his, locking him in place, he let her, but by no means did he intend to be passive in this exchange. He ground his hips into hers, as he thrust his tongue in and around her mouth, working her into a writhing frenzy of want.

She turned her head to the side and nipped his earlobe. “I need you inside me,” she said, following the small bite with a loving lap of her tongue.

His cock swelled and hardened. “Jesus,” he muttered, his entire body shaking too.

It didn’t take long to strip her of her flimsy top and shorts, discovering she was bare beneath. “You’re going to be the death of me.”

With a laugh, she went to unzip his fly, but he stilled her hand. “I’ve got it.” If he let her try to pull the zipper over him now, he’d lose it for sure.

He rose and stripped fast, returning to the bed and coming over her in one swift move. She reached for his erection but he grabbed her wrist, pinning it over her head. “No touching,” he said through clenched teeth. “Not if you meant it when you said you need me inside you.”

At his words, a soft moan escaped her lips and she arched her hips upward, her damp heat coming into direct contact with his aching shaft.

He met her clouded gaze, enjoying the depth of need reflected there. “Other hand over your head too,” he said.

Eyes wide, she obeyed.

“Now keep them there so I can focus on not coming until you do.” He slid his cock over her clit and her eyelids fluttered closed.

Happy to have her break that emotional connection threatening to pull him under, he chose that moment to plunge deep into her hot channel.

“Oh, Cole.”

She moaned his name, and as her body throbbed and clenched around him, he felt more than the physical connection of their bodies. Emotion welled in his chest, a thick, heavy, and unfamiliar sensation beating at him from inside out. He knew the feeling, recognized it despite it being both unfamiliar and unwanted.

And he refused to give
it
a name.

Instead he concentrated on the movement of their bodies, the singular act of seeking release. That was easy—but Erin wasn’t.

And being Erin, she took him out of his comfort zone, by burying her face between his neck and shoulder, where he felt her hot breath against his skin, her lips pressing warm, wet kisses to his flesh.

Her softness called to him, beckoned to that part of him he kept cold and encased in ice. She stole his ability to remain detached by keeping his focus not on the pounding thrusting of their bodies but on
them
. He wanted more of her. All of her. He was driven to own, to possess. His cock full to bursting, he pressed harder, plunged deeper, and must have hit her sweet spot because she threw her head back and moaned.

“God, do that again.” Her hips shifted and urged him on.

He forced his eyes open. Her arms remained above her head, her skin was flushed a pretty pink, eyes dilated, lips swollen, and he couldn’t resist her plea.

Holding back his own orgasm, Lord only knew how, he braced his hands on either side of her head and focused on his thrust and grind, making sure to hit the same spot over and over. Her eyes rolled back and he swore her breathing stopped for a split second before she came—long and hard, shaking, shuddering, her body clamping around him—screaming his name.

Cole waited until every last mini-shudder subsided before letting himself go and taking his own pleasure, losing himself completely inside her in a way he never had before.

It took him a hell of a long time to come back to reality, and when he did, his sweat-slickened body covered hers, the only sound in the room their commingled heavy breathing. First thing he realized? The silence surrounding them was comfortable. Next after that? He was still partially inside her.

And he liked it.

He pulled out quickly and she groaned. “Don’t go.”

“I’m heavy.” And he needed space. “I’ll be back,” he said, and slipped into the bathroom to regroup.

When the shower water ran in the bathroom, Erin
knew Cole wasn’t coming back to bed. She pulled her top and shorts back on and walked to the windows, adjusting the shutter so she could see out. Below her was a blue-stone-covered patio, with a brick built-in barbeque and wall surrounded by an array of colorful flowers. It was so beautiful, she thought. So real.

So out of her reach, just like Cole.

Suddenly chilled, she wrapped her arms around herself in search of comfort. Each time they came together, Erin
felt
more, and by the way he reacted to her touch, she was convinced he’d experienced the emotional connection too. But considering how quickly he’d pulled back, those feelings frightened him, because she refused to believe the alternative—that she was just another woman he slept with. One he’d gotten pregnant and was now stuck with in his life.

Erin came from a family of cops who prided themselves on their instincts in life and in dealing with people. And hers were screaming at her not to give up on Cole. But damn, he didn’t make it easy.

She was lost in thought when the bathroom door opened with a squeak. “Needs WD-40,” she muttered, spinning around to see Cole step out of the steam-filled room.

A towel wrapped low on his waist, he dried his hair with a hand towel and one hand. Sexy didn’t begin to describe him, while she looked like a disheveled pregnant woman who’d woken up, had sex, and hadn’t taken a shower.

She straightened her shoulders, intending to tell him they were due for a talk.

“We need to talk,” he said first.

Oh. “We do,” she agreed.

“About work. You can’t go in today.”

“Oh my God, it’s Monday!” How had she forgotten? She glanced at the clock on the nightstand.

Eight thirty. She did a quick mental calculation. “I’ll be late, but I can still get there at a decent hour.” Heart racing, she started for the bathroom, only to have Cole stop her with a touch on her shoulder.

“Whoa. Didn’t you hear me? You can’t go in today. Or any other day this week.” Before she could argue or ask questions, he held up one hand. “Until this psycho is off the streets, it’s too dangerous for you—and the baby—to follow your normal routine and make yourself an easy target.”

Erin exhaled a long, slow breath and let his words sink in. She didn’t know what disturbed her more, the fact that despite her hating it with every fiber of her being, Cole had a point, or that she’d completely forgotten today was Monday and a workday.

“Okay,” she said at last.

He narrowed his gaze. “You aren’t going to fight me on this?” he asked, sounding stupefied.

This stalker woman, whoever she was, had gotten into Erin’s home. Cut up her things. Had her shot at. Even if she wanted to go about her business and not give in to fear, she’d never ever put the child she was carrying at risk.

“I’m not a fool. I understand how dangerous this woman is. And despite what you think, I don’t argue for the sake of arguing. I only do it when the men in my life think they know what’s best for me. I just want the right to make those decisions for myself.” Her throat ached from holding back unexpected, sudden tears.

“Dammit,” she swore, and stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door behind her.

She splashed cold water on her face, embarrassed and frustrated at the same time. She’d had it with the pregnancy hormones, the ups and downs, the stalker, and she’d had it with Cole blowing hot and cold. But she didn’t want to cry in front of him, and just because she’d shut herself in the bathroom didn’t mean he hadn’t figured out she was upset.

As evidenced by the barrage of knocking on the door. “Erin, let me in.”

Not wanting to be any more dramatic than she’d been, she opened the door. “Go away. I need to shower.”

He raised an eyebrow. “First tell me you’re okay.”

“I’m okay,” she said, deadpan.

A muscle ticked in his jaw. “I’m not joking.”

“Hormones suck. Is that what you want to hear? Being stalked by some freaky female that wants you to herself sucks.” She drew a deep breath, knowing what was coming and unable to stop herself. “And while we’re being honest, your freaking changing moods suck! Now go away and let me shower.” She grabbed for the door but he blocked her from closing it with his body.

His eyes softened. “You’re right. Everything’s been dumped on your shoulders and it’s not fair.”

She blinked, first in surprise, then in an effort to push back oncoming tears. She didn’t want him feeling sorry for her. “Don’t be nice. It’ll just make me cry.”

She tried to turn but he grasped her shoulders. “Erin.”

“What?”

“You deserve to have me be nice to you. You deserve a hell of a lot of things—”

“That you can’t give. Blah, blah, blah. I. Know. Do you hear me asking you for anything? Hmm?” No matter what she wanted, she’d never once expressed her private hopes or wishes.

He opened his mouth, then closed it again.

“Well, other than asking you not to get out of bed two seconds after we made—” She caught her mistake before the words were out, and paused to cleared her throat. “After we fucked, then no, I don’t believe I’ve requested a damned thing.”

Fire flashed behind his dark eyes. “Erin,” he said, his voice sounding in a warning growl.

“Now what?” She set her jaw, not wanting to have this—or any—conversation with him right now.

“I don’t care how big of an ass I’ve been, don’t say we fucked. It’s demeaning both to you and to—”

“To what? To us? To everything we share?” she asked, her voice rising. “Well, do me a favor. Unless and until you’re ready to commit to an
us
, don’t you dare ask me to call it anything else. Because you’re right about one thing. The way you’re behaving right now? I do deserve better.” She pointed through the doorway. “Now out. I’m taking a shower. Alone.”

Cole looked like he wanted to say something, but just as Erin expected, he turned and walked out, leaving her alone.

• • •

For the rest of the morning and into the afternoon,
Cole kept himself busy. He made phone calls to people she didn’t know, asking questions about old cases. He called Nick and informed him that he wanted a better security system here, which Erin tried to say was ridiculous, since for all she knew they could be gone tomorrow. But Nick apparently had no problem with the idea, and a crew was coming out later in the day to work.

Erin called Evan and explained the situation as best she could, leaving out the connection to Cole. She didn’t need the man riled up any more on her behalf. As it was, she had to refuse to tell him where she was
in hiding
, not wanting a confrontation between the two men. She promised Evan she’d keep in touch, while he assured her he’d take care of redistributing her caseload. Erin winced at the thought of the extra work others in the office would have to take on because of her. Between her pregnancy-related days off and now this, she felt like she was abusing her position and her colleagues.

Then she’d have the baby and be entitled to maternity leave, and who knew how she’d handle things after that. Her head began to swim with all the implications, and Erin deliberately pushed those thoughts aside. There was time enough to deal with her future once her present was settled. And until her brothers found psycho-lady, as Erin had begun to think of her stalker, she was stuck in limbo.

With Cole.

And who knew where he’d disappeared to, but she had heard the alarm beeps, informing her he’d opened one of the exit doors and gone outside.

She was surprised a few minutes later when her mother walked into the kitchen with bags of groceries in her hands. “Mom! I can’t believe you’re here.” Erin hugged her mother, so happy to see her.

Ella put the supermarket bags on the counter and turned to Erin. “Give your mother a hug.” She held out her arms, and just like when she was little, in Erin went.

Her mother’s familiar scent wrapped around her, easing the ache in her chest “So?” Erin asked. “How’d you know?”

“Sam called and told me what happened. He said Cole asked him to have me run a few errands and come by, so here I am.”

Erin looked over her shoulder, but saw no sign of Cole. “Where is he?”

“Bringing all your new clothes in from the car, I’d imagine.”

“What?”

Her mother’s attractive face wrinkled in confusion. “He didn’t tell you? Cole asked Sam to have me go to the store where we went maternity shopping and replace everything that was
destroyed
,” her mom said, a diplomatic description if Erin had ever heard one. “He said to buy whatever we chose that day, and whatever else I found that you’d like.” With a twinkle in her eye, one that indicated how pleased Ella was with Cole’s behavior, she turned away and began unpacking the groceries.

Erin stood stunned, unable to process what she’d heard. “Cole said
that
?”

Her mother nodded. “And he took the bill from me when I pulled in. He’s paying for it all. Now close your mouth, you’re catching flies.”

Erin lowered herself into the nearest chair, needing to think about Cole’s actions. On the one hand, they made sense. It was obvious she had nothing to wear—right now she was in a pair of her biggest drawstring sweats and one of his old T-shirts, which he’d left out for her on the bed. But the easiest thing would have been to have her mother pick up a couple of items until Erin could shop for herself again.

But to replace everything? And add more? And pay for it all himself?

“Guilt,” Erin said out loud. “He feels responsible that my life has been turned upside down and my clothes ruined, probably by some psycho stalker, and he blames himself.”

“Maybe.” Ella’s eyes narrowed at Erin’s conclusion. “Or maybe he wants to take care of you and this is the way he thought to do it.”

Erin wrinkled her nose at the notion. “Doubtful.”

“Oh ye of little faith. Even your brother seemed impressed,” her mother said.

“Sam?”

“Yep. He said he doubted he would have done something that thoughtful. Then Mike said—”

Erin jumped up from her seat. “I don’t want to hear Mike’s negative comments.” She stuck her hand in the nearest bag and began helping her mother put away the groceries.

“You’ll want to hear this,” Ella said. “Mike actually told Sam that
no
man would think that way unless he cared about the woman in question.”

Erin froze in the process of putting eggs in the refrigerator and turned to her mom. “Mike took Cole’s side? He said he thinks Cole cares about me . . .
that
way?” Shock and disbelief reverberated through her.

Erin knew Mike paid lip service to cutting Cole slack, but she didn’t believe her protective older brother would actually do it.

Ella nodded. “Of course, then Mike ribbed Sam about his single status and ended by informing him that only when Sam fell that hard would he understand.”

“I think I might faint,” Erin muttered.

Her mother chuckled, shutting the fridge door behind Erin. “Over which part? Mike taking Cole’s side? Or the possibility that he might be right and that man might really be falling for you?”

Erin closed her eyes, wishing with everything in her that Mike had a point, that Cole could care about her—as deeply as Mike loved Cara.

“I know how I feel, what I want—and sometimes I think I’m on the verge of breaking through to him. But then something clicks in his male brain and he withdraws. It’s like he’s feeling too much and it scares him.”

“Maybe that’s true. Remember, he doesn’t have two parents who are still together like yours are. By the time his mother married her second husband, Cole was older. Cynical. With his negative views about himself already formed by Jed. You know how young and impressionable children can be damaged by bad parenting.”

“Cole said the same thing to me once. When I asked him why his stepfather’s positive views of him didn’t override his father’s negative ones.”

There’s only so many times you can hear negative shit before you start believing it yourself. By the time we got out, I’d had sixteen years of disappointing Jed under my belt.

She shivered at the memory. “Every time he pushes me away, I promise myself I won’t react. But it hurts, and I push back.” This time, she had done worse than that.

Unless and until you’re ready to commit to an
us
, don’t you dare ask me to call it anything else. Because you’re right about one thing. The way you’re behaving right now? I do deserve better.

She’d reacted with hurt and anger, hormones and frustration, and by doing so she’d validated his worst fears about himself. She rubbed her hands over her eyes.

“You’re human, Erin. You can’t blame yourself for acting like it.”

She forced a smile for her mother’s sake. “You’re the best, you know that?”

“So are you, honey. And so is that man of yours.”

Erin nodded in agreement. She knew that.
Now.
“I just wish he believed it too.”

Her mother patted her shoulder. “If anyone can show him the error of his ways, it’s you.”

Erin shook her head, not as certain as her mother in her abilities. Sure, it was easy to see things clearly when not overwhelmed with him. By him.

Now to somehow remember that when dealing with the hardheaded but warm-blooded man she desperately wanted for herself.

• • •

Cole stared at the ceiling in the bedroom, wondering
how his life went from the solitary living being undercover entailed, to . . . this completely complicated fuckup. Didn’t matter, anyway. One thing he knew for sure—this ended. Now.

Erin’s outburst merely cemented what he should have known all along. She wasn’t cut out for his kind of life or affair. Every time he was with her, he gave her false hope, only to pull it away again when he withdrew. No more.

The way you’re behaving right now? I do deserve better.

And he intended to make sure she got it, by getting her through this stalker mess with what was left of her emotions and pride intact, then walking away. Just like he should have done all along.

Cole’s cell phone rang, interrupting him from his painful thoughts. “Sanders,” he said, happy to talk to someone, anyone, to take him out of his own head.