Perfect Fling (18 page)

“I didn’t mean for you to leave Joe’s to come here.”

Her soft lips pursed together. “You thought you’d handle your father’s heart attack alone?”

He nodded. Of course he had.

“And you assumed I’d let you.”

He couldn’t help but grin. “Guess I should have known better.” He glanced over her shoulder. “Hi, Cara.”

“How’s Jed?” Erin asked.

“Still don’t know anything,” Cole said, surprised to hear his voice catch as he spoke. Apparently he was more upset than he wanted to admit to himself. He cleared his throat. “I was just about to go in and push for answers.”

Erin faced Cara. “Go on back to Mike. Plan’s scrapped for today, and I’ll be here as long as Cole is. We’ll just go back to the house together.”

“No,” Cole said. “You go back with Cara and Mike. I don’t know how long I’ll be here.”

“All the more reason for me to stay.” Erin waved Cara away.

He should have known she’d pull the stubborn routine. Despite trying to push her away, he was grateful she wasn’t listening. He didn’t want to deal with doctors by himself, let alone Jed. Hell, he didn’t want to deal with the realities inherent with his father being so ill.

Cara glanced back and forth between them. “Well, given the choice between hanging out with you two and all these outdated magazines”—she pointed to the dog-eared glossies on the table—“or going home to my husband . . . easy choice. And you’ll be safer with Cole,” she muttered.

“What’s that mean?” Cole asked.

Cara pulled him into an unexpected hug. “Take care. And I hope your dad’s okay,” she said, backing away just as quickly.

Cole was glad. Hugs and emotion from Cara were as unfamiliar as the panic coursing through him.

“Okay, you two, I’m gone,” Cara said.

He nodded. “Drive safely.”

“Will do. And one of you call me when you have news.”

“Sure thing,” Erin promised. She glanced at Cole. “Well? Let’s go find the doctor.”

He shook his head. “Hold up.” There was something they needed to discuss first.

“What is it?” She looked up at him with guileless hazel eyes that, on top of Cara’s cryptic comment, Cole suddenly didn’t trust worth a damn. “You tell me.”

Erin blinked. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Start with what Cara meant by you’ll be
safer
with me? Did something happen at Joe’s?”

“Shouldn’t we be checking on Jed?” Erin started for the swinging double doors, but Cole pulled her back.

He caught her around the waist, stilling any jittery movement. “Out with it. What happened?”

“Well, I might have had a run-in with Victoria.” She winced as she said the words.

All the blood running in Cole’s veins froze. “What?!”

She forced herself to meet his gaze. “Okay, it’s like this. I ran into Evan when I was with Cara, and seeing how I haven’t been working but he saw me in a bar, I needed to explain. It was crowded and loud, so we stepped into the bathroom hall. Cara and Mike were within shouting distance. It was fine.”

Cole cocked an eyebrow. “Somehow, I don’t think it was fine,” he said through clenched teeth.

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

“But she got close to you,” he bit out.

Erin ran her hand down his arm in an obvious effort to soothe him, but instead of calm, all he felt was frustration that he hadn’t been there to protect her.

“Finish the story.”

She sighed. “Evan and I argued—”

“About what? The bastard was annoyed you were out?”

She shook her head. “Not exactly.”

He waited in silence.

“Fine. He insulted you—again—so I told him you’d be in my life for the foreseeable future, seeing as how you were the father of my baby. And then I punctuated the point. Like this.” She pulled her loose top tight against her tiny baby bump. “See?” She shrugged.

Cole stared at the little spitfire, trying not to laugh at Carmichael’s expense. Trying harder not to pull her into a hard kiss for defending him . . . yet again. He didn’t bother fighting the overwhelming admiration he felt for this woman, or the gratitude at how easily she stood up for him. Whether he deserved it or not.

“Stop laughing.”

He let his grin show. “I’m trying.”

She rolled her eyes.

“What’d Carmichael do?” Cole asked.

“He stormed off,” she said, wincing at the memory. “And that’s when someone bumped me from behind.”

Cole sobered. Only Erin could have him so distracted on so many different levels that he’d forget the reason they’d started this conversation to begin with. “What happened?”

“Once she realized I knew her name, she got all excited that you’d obviously mentioned her to me. I tried to convince her we weren’t involved in any way, not anymore. She called me a liar. I didn’t want her to leave, so I tried to grab her hand, and when she pulled away, I screamed for Mike and Cara. They came immediately, but she’d run out the emergency door, and Mike couldn’t find her.” Erin spread her hands in front of her. “End of story.”

Not by a long shot,
Cole thought, his pulse pounding so hard he felt the beat in his left temple. Her brother and sister-in-law should have been a hell of a lot closer to Erin than they’d been, but there was nothing he could do about it now. Obviously that was what Cara meant when she’d said Erin was safer with him.

“It happened fast,” Erin said, as if reading his mind. “In seconds, really. I never left anyone’s line of sight. I never figured I’d be alone—”

“Because Carmichael was supposed to be right beside you.” Cole’s anger at the other man only grew. Her boss wasn’t her bodyguard, but the other man knew the seriousness of the situation, had been told Erin was in danger, and yet he’d let his ego over Erin’s pregnancy get in the way of his common sense.

Erin touched his cheek, capturing his attention. “It’s all okay. I’m fine. She’s gone, but I’m here with you now, and we can focus on Jed. That’s what matters.”

He drew in a calming breath. “You have a way of making me insane,” he muttered.

She patted him on the shoulder. “Anything to keep you distracted from your problems.”

He shook his head. “She shouldn’t have gotten close to you. She’s crazy. What if she’d had a knife on her?” He didn’t know what he’d do if he lost her that way. His hands clenched into fists.

“Mr. Sanders?” A man in a white coat walked through the double doors.

“Yes?” Cole strode over to meet the man, nerves suddenly jangling.

No matter how much conflict existed between him and Jed, the man was his father. The only blood one he had, and dammit, the little boy in Cole still wanted the chance to make peace. Getting the other man’s approval might be asking for too much but he’d settle for a cease-fire, a cessation of hostilities and maybe even a permanent truce for the future. Especially since Jed was going to be his kid’s grandfather. There was no way Cole wanted his child to experience the kind of constant anticipation of disapproval or rejection from Jed that he had.

As long as Jed had a future,
Cole thought, and, heart in his throat, he faced the doctor to hear his father’s prognosis. A few minutes later, only one word stuck out in Cole’s mind.

“Surgery.” Cole said the word out loud, but hearing it didn’t make it any more real.

Quadruple bypass surgery, without which, according to the doctor, Jed would have another imminent heart attack, this one probably fatal. The doctor, an older gentleman with sparse gray hair, continued to explain the procedure to Cole and Erin.

Cole vaguely heard him toss a lot of other medical terms around, but he didn’t hear everything. He couldn’t process all the details of how they’d crack open his father’s chest, use a heart and lung machine to keep him breathing during the procedure, without wanting to jump out of his skin. He thought instead about their strained, difficult relationship, and wished things could be different before his father went under the knife.

Erin slipped her hand into Cole’s, and her warmth registered against his palm. She not only calmed him but she focused him too.

He was able to concentrate more on what the doctor was saying, including Jed being a higher risk patient. “Your father has high blood pressure and high cholesterol, and has been suffering from anginal pain without reporting it to his doctors until the pain was so severe, he almost couldn’t call 911.”

Cole sucked in a startled breath. Damn the stubborn man.

The other man continued to run down the risks of the surgery for any patient, causing Cole to shut down again because he couldn’t let himself hear all the negative possibilities. Not if he was going to make it through the next however many hours.

“So, all that said, your father’s prognosis is decent, once he wakes from surgery,” the doctor said, his words, as well as Erin’s hand squeeze, bringing him back once more.

“When?” Cole managed to ask.

“First thing tomorrow morning. The surgery lasts four to six hours, could be longer. In other words, tomorrow will be a long day. I suggest you go home tonight and get a good night’s sleep.”

“I’d like to see him,” Cole said. He couldn’t imagine living with himself if anything happened on the table and the last words between them were Jed telling him he didn’t need him here.

The other man frowned. “The nurses told me your last visit agitated him. He’s in a fragile physical state. If he works himself up again, we won’t need the OR,” the other man said with brutal honesty that Cole respected.

“Fine.”

“Wait.” Erin spoke up.

“It’s okay,” he assured her. Whatever was best for Jed, that was what mattered now. Not Cole’s feelings.

She shook her head. “Jed and Cole have a difficult relationship, but now Jed knows his condition, right? He knows he’s having surgery tomorrow?”

The doctor nodded.

“So ask him if he’s up to seeing his son. Better yet, let
me
ask him.”

“Erin—” Cole said in a warning tone.

“Shh. I’ve known him for years. He likes me, or usually does.” Neither Cole nor Erin mentioned she’d thrown him out of her house a few weeks ago. Even Jed wouldn’t hold that against Erin. But that didn’t mean Cole wanted Erin to try to sway Jed on his behalf. He hated the embarrassment caused not just by their dysfunctional relationship but by Jed’s assessment of his son’s failings.

“Maybe knowing what he’s in for, Jed will
want
to talk to you.” Erin spoke in her softest, most understanding voice. Then she looked up first at Cole, then the doctor, with a sweet, imploring expression that probably had juries bending over backward to see things her way. Lord knew he couldn’t deny her anything. He was pretty sure she’d get Jed to see things her way.

“Please let me go in?”

Dr. Wilson, he’d said his name was, clutched his clipboard and smiled. “You’re persistent, Ms. . . .”

“Marsden. Erin Marsden.”

The other man’s eyes opened wide. “I know your father. His oncologist referred him to me when he was trying to decide on treatments for his cancer last year.”

Erin wrinkled her brow. “Really?”

This time Cole squeezed her hand, offering her comfort.

“Some of the chemotherapy drugs can be hard on the heart. We often confer, go over a patient’s history and situation before they decide on a course of treatment.”

Erin nodded in understanding. “My parents dealt with everything about the treatment and the cancer themselves. They kept us kids in the dark about specifics, but I do know dad’s in remission thanks to the care he received, so thank you.” She beamed at the other man, obviously recovering from her surprise. “And I’m sure Cole’s father will be getting the same type of excellent care.”

“We’ll do our very best. Now, I’ll take you in to Jed so you can work the same magic on him you just did on me. If he agrees to a peaceful, quiet visit with his son, it’s fine with me.”

Cole, well aware they were talking about him as if he weren’t there, knew he owed a debt of gratitude to the amazing woman by his side. No matter what his stubborn father ultimately decided.

Erin stopped in the doorway to Jed’s room, surprised
by how frail the older man suddenly looked. The doctor had paved the way for Erin’s visit, so Jed was expecting her. She knocked, and he turned his gaze from the window overlooking the parking lot.

“Hey, there,” Jed said. “Doctor said you wanted to see me.”

She nodded and walked up to him, pulling a chair beside the bed. “You’re still speaking to me after the way I threw you out of my house?” she asked with a quick smile.

“I can’t hold a grudge against you, but you knew that or you wouldn’t have asked to come in. I take it you’re here with that son of mine?”

Erin swallowed hard and nodded. “He’s worried about you. He came as soon as the hospital called him. He dropped everything to be here.”

“He needn’t have bothered. I’m going to be fine.”

His voice trembled, and Erin knew his words were more bravado than real belief. “I’m sure you are. But on the off chance we’re wrong, do you really want to leave Cole with things left unsaid? Or worse, with his last memory of you telling him you didn’t want him here?”

Jed turned his head toward the window.

“I don’t know why you feel the way you do about him, and I don’t want to know,” Erin continued. “That’s between the two of you. But I’m having your grandchild, and if you want a relationship with him . . . or her . . . you’re going to have to forge one with your son first. Think about that for a minute.”

Only when she felt enough time had passed for Jed to use that brain of his, did she speak again. “Cole wants to see you before surgery. Based on your reaction last time, the doctor refused because your body can’t handle stress. Think you can manage to have a civil conversation with Cole?” Erin asked him.

Being a stubborn mule, Jed remained silent. As a prosecutor, Erin was used to waiting out a pigheaded witness, so she remained quietly seated, determined to get the outcome she wanted.

She wasn’t sure how much time had passed when Jed finally turned to face her. “You’re gonna wait me out, aren’t you?” he asked.

Erin only grinned. She was damned sure planning to try, but sensing that Jed was beginning to consider her request, she pushed a little more. “It would mean a lot to me if you talked to him.”

The older man eyed her, staring at her longer than she felt comfortable enduring.

“Son of a bitch. You’re in love with him,” Jed said at last.

Erin felt a hot blush cover her cheeks. “He’s a good man. Why can’t you see him for who he really is?” Since she had no intention of baring her soul, her reply was the best she could come up with.

And it turned the tables back on Jed, whose jaw worked back and forth as he clearly struggled for a reply. “I’ll see him,” he muttered, if somewhat reluctantly.

It wasn’t an answer to the question Erin had asked, but it was the one she’d come here seeking to begin with. If Jed’s condition weren’t so serious, she’d have done a small dance of joy.

“Thank you,” she said. Leaning over, she kissed his weathered cheek. “Good luck with the surgery, and I’ll see you on the other side. You’re going to be fine.”

“I have to be if I want to see that baby you’re carrying,” he said gruffly, his voice raw. And even a little scared.

At the unexpected realization, Erin’s throat grew tight.

She managed a nod at Jed. “I’ll send Cole in.”

As she headed back to the waiting room, Erin hoped her brief glimpse into Jed’s soul, or at least into the frightened heart of the man in the hospital bed, would lead to some kind of détente between Jed and Cole. And as she told Cole his father would talk to him, she prayed that this wasn’t the last chance either man would have to make things right between them.

• • •

Cole had approached mob bosses, murderers, and
drug dealers with more ease than that with which he faced his father again. The weight of a lifetime—his lifetime—sat on Cole’s shoulders. He knew the old man was disappointed in him, and that truth had permeated every part of Cole’s life from the time he’d been old enough to understand what his father’s constant anger meant. As an adult, he’d reached the point where he was more comfortable pretending to be someone else than he was being himself.

For a long time he’d blamed Jed for that, but his time back here in Serendipity made him look at things differently. He couldn’t blame his father for who and what he was. But those deep thoughts, though raised because of his father’s serious condition, didn’t need to be dissected now.

He walked into the room, doing his best to ignore the beeping heart monitor, the IV drip in his dad’s arm, and the way his larger-than-life father seemed to be shriveled up in the hospital bed.

“Hi,” Cole said stiffly, coming up beside the bed rail.

“Hi, yourself,” Jed muttered, unable, it seemed, to meet Cole’s gaze.

“The doctor says they’re taking you to the OR first thing in the morning.”

Jed nodded. “At least it’ll be before I have time to realize I’m hungry, since they’re not feeding me beforehand.”

Cole managed a laugh. “Says it could be a long surgery, but he does it all the time.”

“I won’t know it.”

Same old gruff Jed,
Cole thought. “I’ll be here before they take you down even if you don’t see me.”

Jed hesitated before answering. He curled his hands around the bars on the side of the bed, his knuckles white. “I appreciate that,” he said at last.

Cole raised an eyebrow. He’d been expecting Jed to tell him not to bother. He wondered if Erin had read him the riot act on his behavior or whether genuine fear was behind those words. Like most things with his father, Cole suspected he’d never know.

“Erin’s calling her folks. I’m sure they’ll want to come by tonight and see you before surgery.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“They’re good people. You’re lucky to have them,” he said, meaning it.

“I don’t deserve them, you mean?”

Cole raised his hands up in front of him. “Whoa. I didn’t say or imply that. And your doctor said we’re not to go down that road,” he reminded his father.

Jed groaned, laying his head back against the pillow. “Sorry. Old habits.”

Sorry?!
What alien had invaded his father’s brain?

“They raised a good daughter,” Jed continued before Cole could reply.

“Can’t argue with that,” Cole said, not surprised Erin was the one thing they agreed on.

“Son,” Jed said, suddenly, meeting Cole’s gaze with a hard stare of his own.

Cole drew a deep breath. “What’s up?” With serious heart surgery looming, Jed could say anything at this point and Cole wouldn’t be surprised.

“Don’t let the one good thing in your life slip through your fingers the way I did,” Jed said.

Except that,
Cole thought. The old man
had
taken him off guard. “Dad—”

“No. I don’t want to have any serious discussions. We’re just going to argue. That’s been our way too long for it to change in the blink of an eye.”

Which made Cole wonder if Jed meant he
wanted
it to change . . . eventually.

Jed reached for the paper cup filled with water and took a long sip. “But remember what I said. Just in case.”

Cole exhaled a hard breath. No need to ask
just in case
what. “You’re going to be fine,” he told his father. He opted to focus on his father and not his obvious allusion to Jed’s mother . . . or to Erin.

Jed didn’t reply. He yawned, though, and Cole took that as his cue. “Get some sleep. I’ll be here when you come out of surgery, and I’ll see you as soon as they let me.”

His father nodded, and an awkward silence ensued, no doubt thanks to the strain of their having been forced to get along for the last couple of minutes. But Cole had to admit, despite the discomfort between them, it’d been nice talking to Jed knowing no yelling was forthcoming.

He left the room, and for the first time that he could recall, he prayed—both for Jed to come through surgery and for the chance to rebuild some kind of connection with his father.

For years, Cole had rejected the idea that he needed anything from Jed Sanders. But faced with the prospect of losing his father, Cole was forced to admit he wanted a relationship with Jed. And he sensed, in a surreal way he didn’t understand, that the key to who he could become lay with the man who’d shaped the person he’d been.

• • •

Cole and Erin drove back to Nick’s house in comfortable
silence. He didn’t feel the need to discuss what went on in his father’s hospital room, and Erin didn’t ask. She knew from his somewhat calm demeanor that at least there had been no yelling or confrontation, and for that she was grateful.

She couldn’t remember ever being more exhausted. At the top of the stairs, she turned toward the master bedroom, expecting Cole to head the other way to the room he’d been staying in for the last couple of days.

“Erin?”

She turned. “What’s up?”

“I . . . Never mind.”

Oh, there was something, she thought, studying him. Weariness was evident in his handsome face and she realized the strain of all they’d gone through, plus Jed, was wearing on them both.

“Talk to me.” She walked up to where he stood, leaning on the railing.

He shook his head. “There was nothing specific. I just . . .”

Erin took a leap. “You don’t want to be alone,” she said, hoping she wasn’t so far off base she’d be mortified when he said she was wrong.

He exhaled and nodded. Relief shot through her and she held out her hand. She didn’t want to be alone either. As tired as she was, there was nothing sexual in her offer, and she didn’t get the feeling he was looking to cross that line again either. But they shared the same concerns over her safety and over Victoria’s craziness and potential next move, and now they both were worried about Jed. It made sense that they keep each other company while waiting for the morning . . . and for the surgery to come.

• • •

Cole didn’t remember the last time he’d been hesitant
in asking—or taking what he wanted. But he’d done too much to Erin in a short time to risk hurting her again, so no sooner had he called out her name, he’d rejected the idea of asking her to stay with him. He was relieved she’d either read him so well or merely wanted the same thing. He was too raw, too emotionally drained, to be alone.

By silent agreement, they went to her room, Erin disappearing into the bathroom to wash up. Cole stripped off his jeans and T-shirt and settled under the comforter. As soon as he lay back in Erin’s bed, a sense of rightness and peace settled over him, one he didn’t have the strength to think about or fight.

A few minutes later, she walked out of the bathroom wearing a black lace nightie that hit midthigh. It wasn’t one he’d seen before—it was definitely meant for her new, growing figure. It covered enough to be considered decent, but her breasts were larger now, her cleavage enticing no matter what she wore. And no matter how tired he was, he couldn’t deny the hardening of his groin, or the disappointment that rushed through him as he reminded himself tonight wasn’t about
that
.

She paused by the bed and met his gaze.

“Get in. I won’t bite.”

She laughed and slipped in. She lay on her side, facing him, and he tried to ignore how much of her breasts were exposed in that moment.

“You okay?” she asked.

He shrugged. “I’m numb. So much has happened since this morning, I don’t know what to feel. And we haven’t dealt with the Victoria situation and we can’t just forget she’s out there. Waiting. Plotting.”

Erin shivered and swallowed hard. “I know. But we can have Sam come to the hospital tomorrow and figure out another plan. If nothing else it’ll be a good way to pass those hours of Jed’s surgery.”

He propped his head up with one hand. “Good idea.”

She treated him to the sweet yet somehow intoxicating smile that was uniquely Erin.

She yawned then, and he was reaching over to shut the light when she squealed.

He jerked back around. Her hazel eyes were wide and glittered with an emotion he couldn’t name. “Erin?”

“I think the baby kicked,” she said in utter and complete awe.

He blinked. That was the last thing he’d expected her to say.

“Oh! I felt it again. It feels like little flutters from the inside.”

Her face glowed with excitement, and he couldn’t help but be drawn into the moment along with her. A slow burn of excitement unfurled inside him, as unexpected as it was sweet.

“Want to feel?”

The hesitancy in her voice touched him, and he nodded.

She took his hand and placed it over her stomach. Her skin was soft and smooth to the touch. Her gaze never left his as they waited in anxious silence for movement that never came. Just as he was about to remove his hand, Erin sucked in an excited breath.

“There! Feel it?” she asked.

He shook his head, the disappointment stronger than he would have expected.

She let out a sigh and frowned, an adorable pout, that had him aching to kiss her on those luscious lips. “I was worried about that. The books say sometimes the first kicks are only felt by the mom. It can take a few more weeks until you can feel it from the outside.”

At which point, he might be long gone. The thought lingered unspoken between them, but Cole didn’t want to ruin the closeness they were sharing. Nor could he tell her what was really going through his mind because he could hardly grasp the enormity of the thought himself. But if he had to be truthful, Cole couldn’t begin to wrap his mind around picking up and leaving Erin or his child behind. Scarier still? Even if she weren’t pregnant, even if he’d spent these weeks protecting just her, Cole knew he would still feel the same way.

This woman, so capable and independent on the outside, so soft and genuine and giving on the inside, had carved out a place for herself in Cole’s heart. And that was something he’d never believed possible. Given how he lived—not just his job, which kept him isolated from the real world, but his preference to remain that way even when off duty—the concept of love and sharing a life had never crossed his mind.