Paying the Price (5 page)

"Let me rephrase that then. Norinia has had problems with forced prostitution. These are the collars the prostitutes are forced to wear."

I rolled over and looked at her. "They make the wearer fall in love with the owner."

"It's just a slave collar," she said, denying it.

"Right. That's why your caresses feel so good."

She snatched her hand away from me.

Tears came to my eyes. "I hurt."

"I know. I'm sorry."

My head was pounding. Her caresses had lessened the effect, but if I accepted them, I would fall in love with her faster, adding to my humiliation.

"Please kill me."

She looked away. "No."

I rolled back into a ball, holding my head in my hands, waves of pain pounding into my head with every heartbeat. I let out another moan.

Dareena began caressing me again, which took away the pain. Her touch felt so good, and the pounding in my head without it was so bad.

"Does this help?" she asked.

"Yes. It will also hasten the process."

She pulled her hand away, and the pounding returned immediately. I moaned and continued to clutch at my head.

"Please leave me," I told her. "Your touch is too tempting."

"I am sorry," she said again, immediately getting up. I heard her flee the cabin.

I lied in the bed for another two hours, moaning. The pounding wasn't getting better. When Dareena checked on me, I again asked her to kill me or let me kill myself.

"I vowed to your sister-"

"I have no sister."

"I vowed to Queen Linara you would receive a fair trial. If I kill you here, or let you kill yourself, I do not believe we will find peace. You will die in vain. You must stand trial."

I moaned.

"Do you want my help?"

"No!"

* * *

I managed to sit up. Doing so didn't help the pounding. I was very unsteady, especially in light of the ship's motion, but I stood and
,
swerving,
made my way to the cabin door.
Leaning against one wall of the passageway, I made it to the end of the passage and stepped onto the deck.

The light
sent
shards of pain into my head. I pulled an arm over my eyes and leaned in the doorway.

Slowly I was able to pull my arm from over my eyes. Following the wall of the poop cabin, I turned right and made my way to the railing.

I leaned over it, resting my chest on the railing and holding my head in my hands.

I felt someone approach. Then there was a hand on the back of my neck, and the pain receded. "How are you doing?" Dareena asked.

"No
t
well," I said. "Your touch helps." The relief was so overwhelming I was willing to accept it. "You mustn't do it too long. I'll be begging for it soon."

"I am sorry," she said. "I didn't know any of this."

"So I am not the only one who acts without all the facts. But in this case, the victim is the Butcher of Kilara, so any
downsides are well deserved."

She pulled her hand away and the pain immediately hit my head again. I staggered under it, then leaned further over the railing and retched. The motion sent more pounding into my head.

When I was done, she handed me a mug of water. I rinsed my mouth and spit, then rinsed and swallowed. She took the mug back before I could drop it.

"Please," I said. "I think I should go lie down again."

"Of course," she said, but she didn't move out of my way.

"I can't walk straight," I said. "You're in the way."

She stepped out of my way immediately and I slowly made my way back into the cabin. I made it to the bed and collapsed, moaning.

I slept eventually.

* * *

Dareena was watching me the next time I woke. My eyes opened and I saw her looking at me.

"How long have you been there?"

"Only a few minutes. How is your head?"

It still hurt, but not as badly. "Maybe a little better."

"I'm worried."

"Afraid I might die before you can kill me?"

"Yes." But she smiled a little while she said it.

"Well, I can hope." I rolled closer to the edge of the bed, then swung my legs out and sat up. I was struck by a horrible case of vertigo. I sat and steadied myself for a minute or so, Deena watching me with a concerned expression.

"You're a good actress," I told her. "It looks like you actually care."

"This was my fault."

"Yes. Tell me, is it legal in Tendaria to torture a prisoner of war?"

"No."

"So when is your trial?"

"It wasn't intentional, Meorie."

I looked at her pointedly. "Ah, but I intentionally killed the civilians in Kilara, is that the difference?"

She shifted uncomfortably. "Only you know that, and I suspect you may not have been honest with yourself about it. How angry were you? How much were you willing to lash out after you saw what you saw? How willing were you to let die anyone who got between you and the target of your anger?"

"You may criticize my actions after you have been presented with a similar situation and done remarkably better."

I stood slowly. Dareena stood up and was immediately at my side to steady me. I shook her off, almost falling over in the process. She stepped away. "I'm trying to help."

"Feeling guilty?"

"Yes."

"Good."

Then I walked unsteadily outside and made my way to the railing. It was late afternoon and warm, but comfortably warm, not hot. The sea breeze felt good.

I stayed at the railing for an hour, trying to imagine what I could possibly say to my sister to make her feel as badly as she should feel for betraying me. I came to the conclusion I was never going to formulate a speech that I felt was remotely adequate to the job. I could never hurt her as badly as she had hurt me.

She was my older sister. It had been her responsibility to look out for me, to protect me, and she did this instead. I hoped she felt guilt and that it rotted at her soul. She deserved it.

My head felt marginally better from being upright, and I slowly became more steady.

Dareena stepped up next to me. "It will be dinner shortly," she said in her accented Norinian. "You should try to eat."

"Will you make it an order?"

"Not tonight, but if you try to go on some foolish fast, I will. There isn't enough time for a fast to kill you, anyway."

"I'll need my strength to face the execution, I'm sure."

She didn't respond to my barb. I had been over using it. I was going to need to find new ones.

I wondered if I could convince the collar to kill me. It didn't punish me for the thought. It was worth thinking about.

A bell rang three times. "Dinner," Dareena said. "Come to the cabin."

She turned on her heel, and docilely, I followed her. Damned collar.

The collar didn't release me from the command until I had arrived in Dareena's cabin. I immediately turned around and left again. She'd ordered me to the cabin, but she hadn't ordered me to stay.

"Get back here."

I swore as my body turned around and I returned to the cabin. Then I immediately turned around and headed out the door again.

"Sit!"

I sat down right where I was in the middle of the passage.

"Not out there! Get in here and sit down."

I climbed slowly to my feet, using the passageway wall for balance, and then walked into the cabin and sat in the chair.

"And stay!"

I looked at her and smiled. "I see your honor has fled you again. I was given to believe you wouldn't use the collar so capriciously. So much for your promises."

She stared at me for a moment then said coldly, "Why are you working so hard to annoy me?"

The collar instantly began to punish me. The pain wrapped around my head and I moaned, then hissed. Squirming to escape the pain at the same time the ship took an unexpected lurch, I slid from the chair.

The collar redoubled its punishment. I wasn't in a proper sit and stay any longer. I scream
ed, which I imagine annoyed her, and the punishment increased further. I imagined my additional screams annoyed her. I imagined when I kicked out from the pain, my leg striking hers, that really annoyed her, plus it was an attack on her body, and the collar ramped the pain even higher.

At that point I couldn't think any longer, I could only thrash on the floor of the cabin, screaming.

I had no idea what Dareena was doing while watching me accept the collar's torture.

It seems like forever, but then she was kneeling next to me saying over and over, "You are forgiven, you are forgiven." Her hands were on me, and the collar shut down, instead sending waves of pleasure through me from her touch.

I stopped screaming and found myself curling around her legs, hugging her while she stroked my head. She felt so good. So good.

"You have to stop," I managed to say eventually. "Please don't stop."

She pulled herself away from me.

"I'm sorry," she said.

I lied on the cabin floor for a while, panting heavily. I was able to calm myself and opened my eyes to look up at her.

"That torture session was entirely intentional," I told her. "And my main crime was trying to leave the cabin. When did you say your trial was?"

She looked away. "No it wasn't."

"You knew what would happen when you said what you said."

"I didn't think it would be like that."

"Amazing how things can get out of hand."

She didn't say anything.

"Does it excite you to have me your puppet?" I asked.

She didn't answer that, either.

I sat up then slowly climbed back into the chair. "May I leave?"

"No."

I glared at her.

"Will you please try to eat something?"

I looked at the food on the table.

"If I eat something, may I leave?"

She didn't answer me right away. "I'm sorry," she said.

"Yeah, right."

I sat there and didn't say another word. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Dareena sit down and pull her chair up to the table. She slid one of the plates closer to me. It was filled with some sort of stew and there was a small loaf of bread on the table. Dareena used a knife to cut a slice of bread and set it on the edge of my plate. She took a second slice for herself.

My stomach was empty, and as the scent of the food wafted towards me, I began to salivate. My stomach growled. I looked away.

"Eat something," she said.

I reached out, tore a piece from the bread, and stuffed it into my mouth. Then I glared at her as I choked it down.

"Can't help yourself, can you?"

She returned my look. "If you are sufficiently recovered from last night to roam about on deck, you are sufficiently recovered to fulfill your duties as cabin girl. You may attend to them after dinner." She paused. "Meorie, please eat something. I know you're hungry."

I turned away again, ignoring the food.

"Why are you being like this?" she asked me.

"Do you really think I'm going to keep it down the next time the collar goes into action? I wonder how much it would annoy you to see me throw up the dinner, perhaps all over your shiny boots. I wonder what the collar's reaction to that will be."

I paused for a moment, thinking.

"I wonder if it will annoy you if I belch. Or pass wind.
Or get up in the middle of the night to relieve myself. Perhaps it will annoy you if I don't eat in a sufficiently ladylike fashion. Of course, it may be annoying you I'm not eating at all. Perhaps it annoys you I am not naturally docile, although I choose to believe you are having fun breaking my spirit."

She stared at me. "I didn't intend the collar to punish you for any of those things."

"Funny how things we don't intend happen anyway. When I belch, and the collar punishes me for it, is that when we schedule your trial for torturing a prisoner of war?"

I thought about it. "And when is your trial for violating a white flag of truce? Or perhaps that's not illegal. I am pretty sure I can argue that kidnapping a princess of Norinia would be considered a violation of truce.
But all is fair in love and war, perhaps? Except, of course, pursuing the soldiers who attacked a village with no cause at all.
"

I looked into her
eyes. "T
he reality is simple. There will not be justice. You will not see a trial for any of these things. Tendaria isn't remotely interested in justice, or it would be applied evenly and honorably. Tendaria is interested in revenge."