Paying the Price (3 page)

Eventually I sat back in the chair and fumed.

Dareena returned eventually. She stepped into the cabin and looked at me. "Put the knife back where you got it."

I stood up and replaced it.

"How many ways did you try to kill yourself?"

"Six or seven."

"How many times did you try to leave the cabin?"

"One long attempt."

"Did you enjoy your attempts to remove the collar?"

"How did you know?"

"Because I would have done the same things," she said. "Did you find the matches?"

"Yes."

"Couldn't light them?"

"No."

"Were you able to open my chest or desk?"

"No."

"I know how frustrating this is."

"I don't want sympathy from you. How is it that a people who talks about honor has slave collars?"

"I insisted we obtain one so that we could treat you with some dignity. I felt the collar was a better choice than leaving you trussed in the cabin.
But if you would rather be trussed, we can do that instead.
"
She paused. "I wore it for three days prior to this voyage so that I would be familiar with what it was like. Mother gave me the sort of orders I've given you, and I tried to think of every way you would try to violate them. I wasn't able to do a single one."

"Gloating again?"

"Offering empathy."

"Why? You must be ecstatic at the situation."

"I am happy our countries will have peace. Too many people have died. I am proud I will have served an important role bringing that peace about. I am happy you will see justice."

"A mock trial followed by a swift and undoubtedly painful and humiliating execution, you mean.
I am loved and respected in Norinia. When the people find out what happened, they will not accept your peace.
"

"I believe they will. So does your sister."

"I have no sister."

"
My mother also believes in this peace
. All of us believe this will bring peace."

"I don't believe Norinians would stab me in the back like this, regardless of the actions of my betraying queen. And I don't believe Tendaria will honor any fair treaty. But hey, you'll be a hero bringing me in for your revenge. Nevermind the fact that Tendaria attacked Norinia. I was fully justified to pursue your soldiers."

"Yes, you were."

I looked at her, staring.

"You weren't justified killing civilians."

I looked away. Technically, I hadn't
killed them
. But my soldiers had, which made me responsible. "They shouldn't have sheltered him. He shouldn't have run to a village like that. I was supposed to let him get away with it? Oh, he ran to a village, I guess we'll just retreat."

"You could have set up camp outside the village and waited him out."

"You mean waited for more of your military to arrive?"

"Did your scouts find any other military units in the area?"

"I didn't exactly have time to send scouts.  We pursued your soldiers directly to the village"

"Did you
even consider other options tha
n attacking the village? Or were you so crazed with anger over the actions at Leeman that you went storming into Kilara without a thought what would happen to the innocent civilians, people who had nothing to do with what happened at Leeman?"

I looked away. "I believe I've said too much. I don't believe my position is improved by giving you more ammunition to use during my upcoming trial and execution.
It's not like I'm going to convince you of anything. You have already judged me.
"

She was silent for a moment before saying,
"If you don't talk to me, it will be difficult for me to defend you."

"Defend me from what?"

"Defend you at the trial. I will be your defense attorney."

I turned back to face her. "Oh, that's priceless, just priceless. Not only do you get to be a hero for cowardly kidnapping me under a false white flag, but then you get to pretend to defend me during my mock trial. Tell me, will I also die by your hand? How will you do it? Drawn and quartered, perhaps? Perhaps dragged through the streets for everyone to watch? Those might be too quick. Perhaps you will choose to have me impaled. I understand that can take a very long time. I am sure I will scream quite nicely for you before it is over."

Her lips tightened for a moment before she said quietly, "Your willingness to act, or in this case speak, before ascertaining yourself of all the facts is what plunged our countries into war. It is why you are here now. It is why you will stand trial for what you have done. Perhaps if you took the time available to learn all the facts, you would be better prepared to act or speak in a more appropriate fashion."

She turned her back on me. I stared at it.

"All right, Princess Dareena, tell me which facts I have wrong."

"Point one," she said, turning back to me. "It was not a false white flag. I arrived under a proper white flag. I presented a peace treaty proposal to the queen of Norinia. I negotiated a few fine details. The queen then agreed to the treaty and signed it in full witness of her ministers."

"Does the treaty mention me?"

"Yes."

"Did the ministers know this?"

"Yes."

"Did they know the peace required you to kidnap me?"

"They knew the peace required you to leave with me. I do not know if they understood how you would come aboard the ship. The queen did. She pulled the city patrol from the area to avoid loss of life."

"Were all the ministers present?"

"Not all. Most."

"My uncle?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"The afternoon the day before yesterday."

"So a full day before you kidnapped me."

"Yes."

My sister and uncle had done this to me. Deep despair settled into me. I had seen both of them since they had agreed to betray me. They had both looked me in the eye and not said a word.

"I am sorry," she said. "You must feel very betrayed."

"That must be extra joy for you. You must be positively giddy you convinced my own family to betray me to you."

"It was necessary for the peace."

My sister and my uncle, the two people in the world who should have loved me the most, had done this. They had stared me in the eye and stabbed me in the back.

"You are right," I said finally. "If what you have said is true, and I have no way of knowing whether it is, then you were not the coward. Dearest sister Linara and Uncle Pandor were the cowards."

The despair grew. I drew my legs to my chest and wrapped my arms around them
.
I
began keening. I may have been able to accept my fate, but knowing my own family had done this to me was too much.

Dareena allowed me my misery.

There was a knock on the door. Two cabin boys entered. They brought warm food and another jug. They served the food, primarily ignoring me as I rocked back in the chair, lost in my despair and continuing to keen with my loss.

It took me some time to bring myself back under control. I grew quieter and quieter. Eventually I sat in the chair, deadly staring straight ahead. Through all of it, Dareena said not a word. When I finally appeared calm, she offered food.

I stared at her for a moment but didn't respond.

"To continue our conversation from earlier," she said. "You will receive as fair a trial as is possible."

"Why bother? We both know what the end verdict will be."

"Actually," she said. "We don't. You will be charged with a lengthy list of crimes. You will undoubtedly be convicted of some of those crimes, but it is unclear which."

"It is nice to know my defense attorney has already prejudged me."

She sighed. "Tell me, do you deny that four years ago, you were in command of a troop of Norinian soldiers who crossed the border into Tendaria and killed a number of unarmed Tendarian villagers?"

"We were in pursuit of Tendarian soldiers who had slaughtered the villagers of Leeman."

"So there were extenuating circumstances. Do you deny the basic account? Were you in charge of a troop of soldiers that crossed the border?"

"Yes."

"Did those soldiers kill Tendarians?"

"Yes."

"Were some of those Tendarians unarmed?"

"Yes. But I didn't order their deaths."

"A point we will make at your trial. As the commander of the troop, were you responsible for the actions of your soldiers?"

I didn't answer that. Yes, I was, but I wasn't going to admit it to her.

"Princess Meorie, do you honestly believe there can be dead innocents with no one to blame?"

"Why am I standing trial, but the man who led your soldiers into Norinia and killed the villagers of Leeman is not?"

"Because he is dead. You are not."

"I see. I presume in died valiantly in some battle and is counted a hero by your people."

"He confessed to his role in starting the war and took his own life."

"A choice not being offered to me."

"No."

I stared at her.

"You will receive a fair trial. The charges will be lengthy. Due to the circumstances, I will move to have some of the charges dismissed. I believe you will be acquitted of others. I believe you will be found guilty of some."

"And executed."

"Perhaps. Perhaps not."

"Well, perhaps we can simplify things. Write up a confession. I'll sign it. And you can hang me before full dark."

"No. You will stand trial. It will be as fair a trial as is possible."

She thought about it. "That is the second point of which you were mistaken in your outburst earlier. Finally, if you are sentenced to die, and that is not a certainty, it will be done by the most humane means possible. You will not be tortured to death, of that I can promise you. Nor will you be mistreated in any way. You are my prisoner, but I am treating you as kindly as possible in spite of your crimes."

She pushed my plate closer towards me. "Be quiet and eat your dinner."

She made it an order, and the collar forced me to obey. I glared at her and ate sullenly, choking the food down.

When I had finished she said, "I have not rescinded any orders regarding your behavior. You will remain unable to attempt to escape. You will remain unable to attempt to take your life. You will remain unable to cause harm to anyone aboard ship. You will remain unable to do anything that may annoy me." She paused. "I could order you to suppress your displays of grief. I have not done so. I imagine you feel deeply betrayed, and I don't blame you. I imagine you hate me. I don't blame you."

She paused.

"I believe in this peace. I am doing the best I can for both our countries. I hope you can come to understand that and understand why you must stand trial."

She paused again. "I am going to enjoy the evening air on deck. You may have access to this cabin, the main deck, and the passageways in between. You will remain out of the way of the crew as best you can." Then she offered a kind look I didn't care to accept. "This may be your last sea voyage. This may be your last month of life. You can spend it in this cabin sulking or you can try to enjoy the voyage. We will have fair weather for at least a few days. It is your choice."

She got up. "You may sleep on the floor or you may share my bed. Other than delivering food, the cabin boys will remain out of this room, so you will serve as my cabin
girl
. Do you know your duties?"

"Yes. So I am to be your servant."

"Yes, but only because I am offering you some privacy, and because I do not believe the cabin boys should be required to serve you
more than necessary
."

I thought about it. "That is fair. Thank you."

"You will want to clean yourself up and change clothes. If you come on deck for a stroll, I will then show you what you need to attend to your needs."

"That wasn't an order."

"No, it wasn't. It was an offer that I hope you will accept."

I thought about it. Getting out of the cabin would be appreciated. It stood up and followed her from the room.

We walked down a short passageway. "As you will recall, this door is to the facilities for relieving yourself. Do you need to use them?"

"Not right now."

"Can you read Tendarian?"

"Some. A few words. Your Norinian is very good. If not for your accent, I could forget you were Tendarian."

She inclined her head. "Thank you." She pointed to the sign on the door and read it to me. "A direct translation is 'Water Closet'."

The pointed to the door across the hall from the water closet. "This room has access to fresh water and cleaning supplies. You will need to pump the water. Cold water only." She paused. "I will be annoyed if you abuse the fresh water supply or make a mess."