Authors: Kimberly Schwartzmiller
“You’re avoiding my question.”
“I know.”
“Delaney…
”
“Chad
! I
t was Chad
, okay
. Are you happy now?” I
said, tired of fighting.
“Why would I be happy that Chad raped you?”
“I didn’t mean it that way.”
“I hope Brian beat the
h
ell out of him!”
“He did, trust me!”
“I’m happy that his life was screwed up
,
then
. S
erves him right!”
“I really am lucky to have two such wonderful men looking out for me.”
“Logan did that?” she turned to me and grinned.
“
Yes.”
“I always did like him!”
s
he said, and we both laughed.
“Molly, promise me you’ll let this go
,
now. Chad has been punished. Please leave it alone.”
“Yeah
,
right!”
“MOLLY!” I snapped.
“Okay, okay. I’ll let it go
,
”
s
he said,
but
I didn’t believe a word of it.
“I really
screwed
everything
up
,
didn’t I
?
”
“No.
None of this was your fault.”
“I really hurt Brian
. T
hat’s the worst part. I even managed to screw up his scholarship. Why didn’t he go?”
“He said it wouldn’t be the same without you
,
”
s
he said sadly.
“I’m so glad you were there for him.”
We drove for a few more minutes and then she finally asked me about Logan. “So, you were
really
living with Logan all this time
, j
ust the two of you?
”
“Yes
,
” I said wearily, afraid of what
was next.
“So?”
“So
,
what?”
“Did you ever get dessert?”
s
he
aske
d, grinning.
“
Let’s just say w
e did a lot of…
jogging
,
” I said, remembering how blissful it was being wrapped in those arms.
“Jogging? I really don’t get you at all. How c
ould
you jog with that belly?”
“It was kind of a joke between us
,”
I said
,
getting flushed just thinking about it.
“How long before you go back to him?”
s
he asked.
“I’m not
going back
,
”
I said with much more conviction than I felt.
“Yes you will
. S
omething tells m
e you’re not ready to give up…
jogging
with Logan
,
”
s
he said, seeing right through me.
“I have to.”
“
Um,
just so I’m clear on this
;
jogging is a metaphor for sex
,
right?”
“Yes
,
Molly. Logan and I were
…
together
,
” I said.
“
So, was he everything you thought he would be?”
“
No
. H
e was so much more
,
” I said,
the tears
starting
once again.
“I didn’t mean to upset you. I just really don’t understand why you
left
him. If you both love…”
“Molly, I don’t want to talk about this anymore
!
” I said, leaving no doubt that I was at my wits end.
“Okay, I’m dropping it.”
“Thank you. So, I’m really happy for you and Brian.”
“Thanks. I really do love him.”
“I know
.
I can see it in your eyes.
This really isn’t like you.
So, is
he
everything
you
thought
he’d
be?” I asked, somewhat embarrassed, but curious
,
nonetheless.
“I don’t know
. W
e haven’t been together
,
yet
,
”
s
he said.
“Why?” I
asked
, shocked.
“I need to be sure.”
“But you said you loved him.”
“I do.”
“Then I don’t understand.”
“
I guess I just
need to
know that it’s me he’s with…and not…
”
“Me
,
” I said
quietly
, feeling terrible.
“Yeah, I’m sorry, but I know he still loves you.”
“Molly, I love Logan with all my heart, but I swear to you, as much as I loved Logan, I loved Brian
,
too. It was real!
A part of me will always love Brian.
”
“That’s
really
not helping
,” s
he said.
“You’re missing my point. I know Brian loves me, but I also know he loves you.
Give him a chance to prove it
.
I’m sure he won’t let you down. Besides, a really smart girl asked me once, “What are you waiting for?” We both laughed then.
“Oh, and just for th
e record, Brian and I never…”
“Really?”
“I figured he wouldn’t tell you anything
about
our personal relationship
. H
e’s too much of a gentleman
.”
“He
really ne
ver said
much of
anything about you
r
relationship
at all
.
”
“
I figured that
.”
“So, you two
really never…
after all the time you spent together?
”
“No. So, he can’t compare us, okay?”
“I thought for sure you had.”
“We tried, once.”
“What do you mean
,
you
tried
?”
“
His parents were out of town one weekend and I thought I was ready, so I
threw myself at him.
”
“I’m not sure I want to hear this.”
“Don’t
worry
. I
t was over before it started. The image of Chad popped into my head and I screamed at Brian to stop. Poor guy, I almost gave him a heart attack.”
“I’m sorry
,
Delaney.”
“Don’t be
. J
ust love him
,
okay
?
Give him the chance to love you.
”
“Well, his parents are gone a lot
,
”
s
he grinned.
We made it to the station and s
he hugged me before I boarded the bus
and
headed off into the unknown. I waved at her, hoping that
she
and Brian would be blissfully happy together. They both deserved it.
I thought they were perfect for each other, and
I
knew they had a great future ahead of them. I jus
t wondered what my future held…
and how any future I had could
be worthwhile without Logan.
Chapter
Thirteen:
Aunt Vickie
and Harley
The two hour bus ride did little to keep m
e
occupied. Logan was always in the forefront of my mind, but I knew I had to focus on the baby now and what she needed. I needed a job, but who was going to hire a pregnant woman, with no experience
, and
who was only planning on being in town for a short time?
My aunt met me at the bus station. She squealed when I stepped off the bus and hugged me tight. “Wow, it looks like we have lots to talk about. Come on, let’s get you settled.” She was surprised to see my over-grown belly, but there wasn’t an ounce of judgment
in her voice
.
“So, who’s the young man, and when do I get to meet him?” She looked at me and saw the look on my face.
“It
’
s okay honey, you don’t have to say a word. I’m thrilled to have you here
. Y
ou can stay as long as you want with no strings attached and no questions asked.
”
Aunt Vickie was my mother’s younger sister. They were nothing alike. My aunt was a free spirit, living her dream of being an artist. She made sculptures and sold them to large companies. From the look of her home, she was doing quite well.
“Wow, you’ve really changed things around here.”
“Yes, I’ve made some adjustments. I added a few rooms
,
too. I have you set up in the room
down the hall from
mine
,
upstairs. It has
its
own private bathroom and a beautiful balcony.”
“Thank you for having me and for not asking me a bunch of questions.”
“I figure you’ll get around to it eventually, and if not, that’s okay
,
too. I’m just glad you’re here.”
It was getting late and it had been a very long day. I ate a few bites of the tofu burger my aunt made and then
started up
to bed.
“I didn’t have time to go to the store today, but I’ll make sure to pick up some meat tomorrow. I’m not sure a vegetarian diet is right
for someone
in your condition.”
“I’m not picky. But, yeah I
guess she does
need protein.”
“She
?”
“Yes, it’s a girl
,
”
I said, stroking my belly.
She saw the look of pain in my eyes and she had to ask, “Where’s the baby’s father
,
honey?”
“
Can we talk about this later?”
“O
kay
,
”
s
he said, wrapping both arms around me and pulling me close
, “I’m just glad you’re here
,
”
s
he said, sensing my anguish.
I was so tired of crying. It seemed like it was all I had done. There was nothing left. I let her hug me, then she led me upstairs and I thanked her and told her goodnight.
“I’m
downstairs if you need anything,
or if you just need to talk,
”
she said,
letting me know she wouldn’t judge me, no matter what.
“Okay, goodnight.”
I sat down on the bed, opened one of my bags and pulled
out
Logan’s shirt. I put it on
,
even though
I was
no longer able to button it over my belly
.
I knew it was silly and it no longer smelled of him but I was so lonely I had to do something, anything
,
to make it through the night.
I woke up to the smell of hot chocolate and smiled, realizing it must have been a dream. I was back in Logan’s room and he was bringing me hot chocolate. “Good morning
,
” I said with a smile, which immediately faded once I opened my eyes and realized it wasn’t a dream
,
and
it was my Aunt Vickie and not Logan standing over me with hot chocolate.
“Good morning
,
s
leepyhead
,
”
m
y aunt said
, holding a cup out
to
me
.