PARANORMAL ROMANCE: The New Couple in Town: Don’t Let Them In (3 page)
Read PARANORMAL ROMANCE: The New Couple in Town: Don’t Let Them In Online
Authors: Natalia Napoli
Chapter 2: Hold On To Your Wives
Chapter 4: A Sudden Turn of Events
A small town Montana coffee shop opens it’s door and the regulars are waiting for their morning caffeine, holding their papers. They nod to each other in a friendly manner as they do every morning. The shop owner sweeps the front side walk in the same pattern everyday and puts out water for the little white dog in the wool sweater. A tall van pulls up pulling a uhaul trailer and a blonde couple steps out. The van is black and they are also dressed in all black. They have interesting hairstyles and their clothing seems a bit over the top for a casual morning coffee. The town locals eye this strange looking couple figuring they are performers on the way to a show or just passing through town.
The couple is very affectionate and walks in with their arms wrapped around each other. They kiss each other and the man leans his head on the woman’s shoulder as they decide what to order. They are both wearing black top hats and tuxedo jackets which confuses even the dog out front. The woman has a tight black dress and fishnet black tights. The man has a deep v neck black t shirt with a strange black stone hanging around his neck. The woman’s makeup is perfectly done as if she were going on stage. The kid behind the counter smiles, entertained by their look. He innocently asks, “where are you guys from?” The couple smiles and Vlad says, “we are nomadic.” He says, “what’s that?” Katerina says, “were nomadic, but we just rented a place here for the spring at least. Nomadic is like gypsy.”
They get up to the counter when it’s their turn and lean onto the counter. “Hi,” the man says with a smile. “I’m Vlad and this is Katerina, how are you today?” His thick Scandinavian accent gives him a foreign identity.
The boy looks at them as if they are the oddest things he has ever seen. The couple kisses and gives eachother lots of affection as if they are newlyweds. They tip their hats to the boy behind the counter and pull up two chairs next to each other. The woman puts her feet over the man’s legs and he massages her legs as they laugh and speak in their native language. The women in the cafe eye the couple and wonder why they are so openly affectionate. The women in the cafe are wearing sweatshirts or sweaters and jeans. They are curious about this couple who looks remarkably healthy and fit.
Just then, thunder cracks over head and startles everyone. The couple laughs and everyone runs out to see if a storm is brewing. The local farmers have to be careful to bring in their livestock in the case of a heavy storm. One man in a flannel shirt says, “it’s a nor'easter, coming over the mountain range. Batten down the hatches.” The locals disperse quickly to secure their barns and anything that needs to be tied down or boarded up. The people here are salt of the earth and not afraid of the elements. They navigate among the strong seasonal changes with a strong sense of community and faith. There are generations of farmers in this town and it’s not common for new people to move in.
The couple sits backwards on their chairs and feed each other pancakes laughing in a very animated fashion. They lounge for a while and then decide to go to their new home and unpack. A couple is walking in as they are leaving. The couple is dressed nicely and they are one of the more wealthy couples in town. The couple in the top hats stand to the side and greet them in a very friendly manner. “Hello!” Vlad says. The couple looks at them somewhat confused. Vlad says, “how are you doing today?” They smile uncomfortably, seeing the cleavage that Katerina is revealing. The woman says with a nervous laugh, “oh we’re just fine thank you. Are you visiting?” She hopes they say yes.
The couple is happy they are engaging with some locals and Vlad says in an excited tone, “no we just move here today!” His accent is thick. The woman’s eyebrows go up as she can’t imagine people like them in their town. “Oh! What made you want to move here?” They look at each other and rub their noses together. The other couple watches them uncomfortably. Vlad turns to them and says, “looking for something new and different, for inspiration.” The woman says, “welcome to town. People here are real nice. There’s not too much to do at night. It kind of shuts down early but sometimes a good band will come in town.” The couple smiles secretly and Katerina says, “don’t worry, we bring the fun wherever we go, don’t we love?” She looks at Vlad and he squeezes her side. “That’s right!” he says with a smile and he winks at the couple tipping his hat to them. He says, “we are at the end of Montauk street, come by anytime, we have an open door policy. I’m Vlad and this is Katerina. She makes a mean quiche but watch out for her croissants!”
The man reaches out for his hand cordially and says, “well I’m Bill and this is Elizabeth. It’s a pleasure to meet you both and sounds like we will have to try your quiche sometime.” The man has no intention of visiting them as both him and his wife have already written them off as weirdos. He is trying to be nice. Katerina looks at the wife and says, “I’m doing a full moon ceremony tonight for the equinox if you’d like to come! I have sage to burn and we can pour intention candles.” The woman looks at her having no idea what Katerina is talking about but assumes it’s some black magic voodoo ritual. She says, “oh thank you for the offer but I have a town hall meeting tonight.” She gives her a half smile.
Vlad and Katerina jump out the door and dances in circles on the way to their van. The couple is dumbfounded and stares at them from inside. “What an odd couple,” Elizabeth says. Just then a black horse runs frantically down the middle of the road. Elizabeth says, “did you see that?” He must have been spooked by the storm. Bill says, “I bet it was one of Chad’s horses. I better call him right away. I hope these people aren’t those weird animal rights activists that just go around freeing animals all the time.” Elizabeth puts her nose up and says, “if anything I would say they are devil worshipers. Did you see their outfits! How inappropriate!” Bill laughs and says, “they are going to have a hard time fitting in in a town like this that’s for sure.”
The new couple in town get into their van which has a bed and kitchen in the back. They are the type of people who have sex often and like to be very physically expressive with each other. They have what people would call a healthy sexual appetite. Vlad looks at Katerina and gives her the eye. He takes off his top hat and runs his hands through his shoulder length blonde hair. She then takes off her top hat and lays down on the bed on her back, slowly opening her legs to lure him to her. He says, “oh does somebody want a quickie?” She says, “good thing these windows are tinted.” Vlad pulls the little curtain between the front seats and the back of the van so they have privacy. He pulls down his pants showing her his erection. She says, “come here and give it to me.” He says, “I’m going to do that right now, are you ready to transcend this dimension?” She says, “let’s make some magic.”
He turns on the stereo and some funky gypsy music starts to play. He crawls toward her, kissing her legs and pulls down her stockings after slipping off her black heels. He says, “what a lucky man am I.” He pushes into her passionately and they laugh and roll around. She puts her leg behind her head and says, “we are going to bring so much fun and magic to this town.” He says, “I can feel it already.” He puts his lips on her breasts and kisses them. He says, “you wonderous creature, how do I please you more?” She says, “because you dare to be different and not fall into the status quo, you do please me.” He says, “oh you want something different? Are you a kinky gypsy?” She nods and smiles. He lays down and and swivels her hips sitting her coochie on his face. He licks her and she gets closer to climax. “Wow.” She says, “amazing.”
She pleasures him with her mouth and they both climax simultaneously. They put their clothes back on laughing and drive to their new home, excitedly looking out the window at the new scenery. They turn up their gypsy music and roll down the windows letting in the fresh spring air. Their little cozy mountain cabin made of big logs sits on a stone foundation. They drive up and open their uhaul which doesn’t contain the usual comfy couches and floor lamps. They pull out lanterns and statues of naked people, followed by strange contraptions that look like tangled ropes, straps and chains. The neighbors across the street, peek through their blinds trying to figure out just who these people are.
Vlad jumps up onto the window sill and scales the house, climbing onto the roof. The neighbor peeking through the blinds says, “oh my god, that man just climbed onto his roof!” Vlad looks around enjoying the view and says, “honey we should introduce ourselves to the neighbors.” He jumps down from the roof casually and Katerina takes a hula hoop out of the back and strolls across the street to the neighbors house. Vlad follows her.
She knocks on the door and the woman inside says, “oh shoot, they’re here!” She is in her bathrobe and ties it tighter looking at herself in the mirror. She usually never goes out without makeup but she figures she will just open the door halfway. She opens the door a foot and says, “hello.” Margaret says, “hello neighbor!” Holding out her arms for a hug. The woman is surprised by Katerina’s energy and friendliness and says, “oh, I’m so sorry I’m in my bathrobe!” She covers her mouth laughing. Katerina has a way of lightening people up with her silliness. The woman comes out and says, “I’m Margaret, it’s nice to meet you.” She holds her bathrobe closed tightly. Vlad doesn’t notice the robe and gives her a hug as he walks up. “Hello!” he says energetically. “We are so happy to meet you!” He smiles ear to ear. “You are so beautiful!” He is a very complimenting person which takes Margaret off guard. Katerina says, “you are! It’s wonderful to meet you. Please come by our house anytime! We are very friendly and open!” The woman backs into her house slightly embarrassed and starts to close the door, “oh ok, yes thank you, nice meeting you.” Katerina shrugs her shoulders and says, “oh she’s just shy, she will open up.” She skips down the steps and heads back to the uhaul picking up a statue of a large naked woman over her shoulder and thinking nothing of it.
Another neighbor is walking her dog and sees Katerina’s strange outfit and statue. Her dog stops to pee right on Katerina’s mailbox. The neighbor says, “sorry!” Katerina laughs and says, “oh it’s nothing! My partner does it all the time!” She laughs at her own joke and the woman smiles. Katerina, still holding the plaster statue walks up to the woman and shakes her hand saying, “I’m Katerina, it’s great to meet you!” The woman looks at the statue and says, “honey be careful that looks heavy!” Katerina smiles and says, “oh I’m very strong you know?” Katerina winks at the woman showing her bicep. The woman wonders if Katerina is a lesbian and says, “oh yes well you certainly are.”
Katerina says, “what is your name? Which house is yours?” The woman nervously says, “oh I’m next to you on this side. I live with my husband Herb and I’m Natalie.” She says, “oh wonderful and do you enjoy hot tubs? We bought the place because it has one in the back!” The woman says, “oh lovely. Yes I’d say we enjoy them.” Katerina says in an exaggerated voice, “oh they are so romantic to be under the stars at night. Yes come use it anytime!” Natalie stutters and says, “oh, um, well thanks that’s a nice offer.” Katerina says, “we don’t use cell phones so just come in anytime. The door is always unlocked at our house!”
This town in Montana for the most part is full of conservative and private people who don’t have much physical touching with each other. Katerina gives Natalia a hug trying not to hit her with the statue on her shoulder. She says, “oh and I’ll do an equinox ritual at 8 if you want to come!” The woman says, “oh, how nice.” She walks away quickly saying, “come on pumpkin, it’s time to go home.” Katerina turns on her toes and skips as she brings the statue in the front door. She sets it down in the middle of the room and says, “ah there we go!” Vlad is screwing in a rigging from the loft to hang their lyra wheel, a large iron hoop they climb on. He says, “these beams are so sturdy, it’s perfect!” Katerina looks up at him and says, “the neighbors seem scared of me.” He says, “oh don’t worry, they’ll love you.”
Vlad hangs some esoteric and Native American art in the house. It has an eclectic vibe and they put a large cushion on the floor for sleeping. They are the quintessential circus gypsies, used to travelling and being comfortable in any space. They have two straps hanging from the ceiling for playing. They place candles around the fireplaces and window sills and look around proud of their work.
Katerina says, “I will make a pie and bring it to the neighbors.” Vlad says, “that’s a great idea! We will get them to play with us. Some adults are just a little up tight. We have to remember we are not in Montreal anymore.” She says, “well I love getting people to feel more open you know?” He smiles and says, “that is what I love about you.” She makes a key lime pie with pecans and coconut cream and cuts big pieces to deliver to the neighbors. She asks Vlad to help her carry them. They walk out of their house both carrying plates and go to knock on doors. They start out by going across the street and ring the doorbell. They smile and say, “keylime pie!” when Margaret opens the door.
Margaret invites them in and they excitedly chat with her, asking her questions about her life and how long she has lived here. They ask her how her body is feeling and if she’s tight anywhere. Margaret says, “oh I have lower back problems all the time!” Katerina announces, “you are in luck! Vlad is an expert at helping lower back problems.” Vlad says, “yes you should lie down, I will release all the tension from your lower back.”
Margaret says, “oh are you a massage therapist?” He smiles and says, “not exactly, I consider myself a magician!” He says, “oh Margaret your back has so many knots in it.” She starts to relax as he puts his hands into her back muscles and Katerina chats with her about her favorite restaurants in town. Margaret’s husband walks in and says, “honey? What is going on.” She says, “oh hi honey. These are the new neighbors. Vlad specializes in backs and offered to help me with my scoliosis.” Her husband, who’s not the sharpest tool in the shed says, “oh dang, if you’re a good masseuse, I’d love it if you could help me out with my neck! It’s been killing me all day!” Katerina jumps up and says, “oh I can help you. I’m very strong.” She says, “but first you might want to try the pie I made.” She points to the table.
He says, “alright! I love pie,” taking a big bite. As he eats Katerina starts to massage his shoulders. Then Katerina get’s a great idea and says, “you know what’s great for sore muscles? Hot tubs! And we have one!” Her husband says, “well aren’t you guys the best neighbors ever! Say do you like fine tequila? I just won a free bottle at work! I was going to make margaritas!” Margaret giggles saying, “well it does go great with keylime pie.” He makes four margaritas and grabs his bathing suit. He says “come on honey, I wanna see that new bikini you got in Maui!” She giggles and get’s up from the floor and goes to get her bikini. “well alright, I guess honey but you know how you get with tequila, don’t have too much.”
The four of them walk back across the street and their one room cabin doesn’t really have any separate rooms so Katerina just changes in front of everyone not thinking anything of it. Margaret tries to hide herself and change in the corner and Vlad drops his pants and changes without thinking about it. Their neighbors catch each other’s eyes as if thinking,
well this is different!
They are good sports and roll with it as the new couple is so nonchalant about it. They all get in the hot tub with a margarita and it’s cozy, not the biggest hot tub for sure. Katerina sits on Vlad’s lap and says, “so how did you two meet?” Katerina snuggles up to Vlad and kisses his neck. Vlad says, “oh baby! You’re getting me excited!”
Margaret says, “we met on eharmony and it was love at first site. We moved in a year ago.” Katerina says, “wonderful! And hows your sex life? Good?” Her husband almost spits out his margarita laughing and says, “I don’t think anyone’s ever asked us that before.” He says, “well I’d rate myself a 10 but the misses here might say I’m like a 7.” He has a sense of humor and Margaret is more uptight. She says, “oh it’s just fine. I’m very happy with him.” Katerina says, “we are intimacy coaches so if you are ever interested, we would love to do a session with you guys.” Katerina says, “what’s that? I’ve never heard of it.” Katerina says, “oh it’s just fun! It’s like we could show you new positions and ways to connect to each other physically.” Katerina says, “you do that? I didn’t know people do that.” She says, “I just do it more for fun, that’s not my day job.” Vlad says, “oh she’s very good at it though, she taught me a lot.” He smiles biting her figure and growling.
The couple starts to feel a little tipsy and intrigued at what they would learn in an intimacy class but don’t want to admit it. Katerina says, “I think the real problem in our society is that people are not comfortable in their own skin and they certainly aren’t comfortable touching other bodies. I mean how many strangers hug these days you know?” She says, “see I’ll give you a hug and watch how it just changes the energy!” She gives Margaret a big hug rubbing her back. Margaret says, “wow yeah I see what you mean.” Katerina says, “it’s a great night for sex magic actually because of the full moon!” Elizabeth giggles. The massive margaritas are only half gone as he poured them in the largest glasses ever and he has a heavy hand. Margaret says, “jeez honey, how much liquor did you put in here? I’m drunk!”
Margaret says, “I have to ask what those things hanging from the ceiling are!” Vlad smiles and says, “they are toys, for playing.” He winks at her. Margaret says, “can you show me?” Vlad says, “oh yes! This is my speciality.” They go inside and he starts to show her how to get onto the lyra. Her husband is like a kid in the hottub with the hot blonde Scandinavian woman. He says, “how do you guys stay in such great shape? You’re both like really cut!” She smiles and says, “it must be all the sex!” He raises his eyebrows and laughs. Katerina says, “you want me to give you a new move to give to your wife?” He says, “oh sure!” Katerina stands up in the hot tub and puts her leg up saying, “you come in from an angle and she is like this.” He says, “oh that takes a lot of flexibility!” She smiles and says, “well some yes.” They hear laughing from inside and Margaret is standing on Vlad’s back trying to mount the lyra. Her wet foot slips and she pancakes him. He says, “I’m sorry I think my wife just pancaked your man.” He laughs heartily thinking it’s the funniest thing ever. He says, “wow I’m drunk now!” Katerina says, “gosh me too!” They head inside and Katerina says, “let’s have a massage circle!” Katerina sits down behind Margaret’s husband and the others fall in. The tequila hits them all at once and they forget that they hardly know each other. The music is fun and they get lost in the relaxation for a while. They are on their sleeping cushion which is a cool balinese style mattress. They lay down chatting and massaging each other’s feet.
Margaret says, “gosh I haven’t felt this relaxed in a long time.” Her husband says, “I propose one more margarita!” The group of adults all go, “yeah!” The unanimous vote makes him get up and he stumbles toward the front door laughing. Katerina says, “you guys are so cool. I’m glad you life across the street.” He comes back with his bottle of tequila and says, “there’s no way I could have walked without dropping the drinks so who wants a shot?” Before long they finish the bottle and they are all plastered. They fall asleep in a pile hugging each other.
In the morning, Margaret says, “oh my, I had too much to drink last night! I hope I didn’t do anything embarrassing!” Katerina says, “oh not at all! Don’t worry!” Margaret and her husband head back to their house laughing as the sun is just coming up. They head to the coffee shop to get some french toast. They run into the first couple Vlad and Katerina had met and tell them about their night with the new couple. Margaret says, “well they are very sexual. Watch your wife Bill, that man might be a swinger if you know what I mean.” The woman scoffs and says, “oh great just what we need, some sleazy swingers! Hold onto your wives gentleman,” she says to the group of locals standing there. Elizabeth says, “they also look like they are into black magic. They’re probably messing with dark spirits. They could be listening to us right now!” Elizabeth looks around suspiciously.
Margaret thinks for a second and says, “I don’t know but I saw a black crystal ball in their house. That’s pretty creepy.” Elizabeth’s husband says, “they must be sorcerers because when they got here a huge storm came in and then a black horse ran by. It’s a sign.” Margaret says to Elizabeth, “you know what I’ve been thinking about having sex all day. I don’t know what’s come over me.” Elizabeth says, “I’ll tell you what, they’re using that sex magic!”