Painted Memories (17 page)

“Lilly, wait,” he said, grabbing my hand.

I pulled my fingers from his grasp. “Drew, don't. We both finally got out what we wanted to say, and I'm sure I made myself look like a fool, so let's call it a night. Okay?”

He grabbed my hand again. “Please listen to what I have to say for a—”

“There's no need. I get it,” I said as I pulled my hand out of his again. “I made some bad decisions, but you never even asked me what was going on, you just assumed. All of this is exactly why I said having a relationship would never work because when it ended, so would our friendship. We can't have a normal friendship anymore.”

“Lilly, can you stop talking for one minute and listen? I want to tell you—”

“Stop trying to—”

“Oh, for God’s sake, woman...”

He grabbed my upper arm, pulling me against him and kissed me. I was stiff at first, my instincts telling me I should pull away, but my desire won over, and I surrendered to his tender lips. His hand moved from my arm to my neck as he wrapped his finger around it. Cupping the other side of my neck with his free hand, he pulled me more tightly against him. I parted my lips and let his tongue and mine swirl in an impassioned dance. The sensation made me weak in the knees and I grabbed the front of his shirt to balance myself. I moaned in response after trying unsuccessfully to muffle it. Like adding fuel to a fire, he kissed me even deeper and I felt like I couldn't get close enough. I wanted him against me, his arms around me, to let his body dissolve all the negativity in the air between us. His hands moved from the side of my neck, and he intertwined his fingers through my hair as he gently tilted my head back. Pulling his lips from mine, he kissed a trail from my jaw to my ear, his heavy breathing sending chills down my neck.

“You're not drunk this time. You'll remember this kiss,” he whispered.

I pulled back slightly, looking Drew in the eyes. “I might have been slightly intoxicated before, but I remember every kiss we shared that night. I couldn’t forget it even if I wanted to.” This was not what I expected to happen, and as much as I wanted him to keep kissing me, I needed to clear up a few things. “I hope you know you can't erase what was said earlier with a kiss.”

“I'm not trying to,” he said. “I should have never spoken to you like I did. I'm sorry; I can't take it back. The heat of the moment makes you say all sorts of things you don't really mean.”

“Why didn't you say anything when I woke up the other morning?” I asked. “I felt like you thought it was all a mistake. I thought you didn't feel the same as I did.”

His fingers brushed over my cheek.
“Really? And I thought maybe you didn't remember any of it. I didn't want to bring it up and embarrass you if you didn't. If you did remember it, I was waiting for you to give me some kind of sign that you liked what happened between us.”

“If I had only been upfront to start with, we wouldn’t be arguing, and you wouldn't have been hit in the mouth. What did you say to him that warranted this?”  I brushed my fingers over the cut on his lip.

“It's not important now.”

“Please tell me, I want to know.” So I can kick him where the sun doesn't shine when I see him again.

“Sometime after you left that morning, I went out to my car to get some supplies. I saw him coming from the direction of your apartment and he looked pissed. He hit my shoulder with his as he passed me, and said, 'Enjoy the sloppy seconds, lover boy.' I didn't even bat an eye when I told him, 'I don't know what you've been getting, but mine has been anything but sloppy.'“

I gasped, shocked at their confrontation.

“I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have let him think more happened than actually did, but what he said really pissed me off. It just flew out of my mouth.”

“Yeah, I'm sure that did it. He was already pissed when I made him leave after he showed up uninvited, not believing I was really sick. But anyway, what did he say then?” I asked.

“Nothing. He gave me a hard right hook to the mouth.”

“God, I'm so sorry, Drew.” I ran my thumb over the corner of his lip again. It still looked a little swollen, but the cut was scabbed over already.

He grabbed my hand and kissed the top of my fingers. “Don't be. It happened, it's in the past, and there isn't anything either one of us can do about it.

I turned away, still holding his hand in mine and walked into my apartment, grumbling out loud as I clunked my keys on the bar. “Yeah, well, the past may be the past, but I've got a good mind to drive over to that gym and tell him what I really think! I should have known better than to even—” I was pulled backwards and turned to face Drew in one quick movement. One second, I was complaining, the next, I was pressed against him, his free hand on the small of my back, his green eyes staring down at me.

“I'd prefer you didn't. If he said something ugly to you, I wouldn't hesitate to break his pretty little face.”

I smiled at his bravado and edged even closer. “You're not jealous, are you?
Not Tyler, of all people?”

“Oh, extremely jealous,” he teased. “In all seriousness though,
I really did try not to let it get to me, but the more time I spent with you, and all the fun we had... it all felt so natural. I couldn't stand knowing you were spending time with him when I wanted you to be with me.”

“Can we start over? Pretend nothing happened and forget about it?” I asked.

“No, I'm afraid not.”

“Why not?”

“Are you kidding? Hell no. If you hadn’t gone out with Tyler, you wouldn't have realized you wanted to be with me, and you'd
still
be denying your feelings for me. So for that, and that reason only, I'm thankful you spent a little time with the prick.”

“Oh. Well, when you put it like that, it makes sense.” I turned and walked to the couch, tired of standing in the middle on my living room floor. I sat down and pulled one leg underneath me with my back against the arm of the couch. Drew followed without question and sat down next to me. I checked my watch and couldn't believe it was past ten already. “Wow, where did the time go?”

Drew looked at his own watch. “Oh wow, I better let you get some rest. Work calls in the morning.”

A sudden pang of anxiety rushed through me as he moved to stand and I grabbed his hand. “Please don't leave, not yet,” I begged.

“Are you sure?” he asked, settling back into the couch.

“Yes, absolutely.
This may sound completely stupid, but I feel like I almost lost you, and if you leave now, you'll change your mind or something, and I won't see you again.” A wide smile creased his cheeks and I knew he was trying to suppress a laugh. “See?” I said dragging the word out. “Why did I even say that? This is exactly the type of stuff you keep to yourself. But you should be used to me saying dumb things by now.”

Drew twisted, angling his body so that he was sitting face-to-face with me. His smile faded, his expression becoming more serious as he leaned in closer. “Please don't ever be afraid to tell me how you
feel. Nothing you've ever said has been dumb... Oh wait, there was that one time—”

“Drew!” I swatted his arm, but laughed at his attempt to make me smile. It worked.

Laughing, he grabbed my arm, pulling me into his side. “I'm only kidding. Sharing your feelings is never dumb.  I want to know how you feel. If you don't tell me, we're going to be in the same situation we were a couple hours ago. And I'm not going anywhere... not unless you want me to.”

“No, I don't. Sorry. I'm not used to sharing my feelings.”   

“And stop apologizing,” he grinned.

“Jeez... you sure are demanding!
Any other orders?” I asked, teasing him.

His fingers combed through my hair as he raked it behind my shoulder. “One last thing...”

I tilted my head up, questioning him with my eyes. “Okay. Name it. “

His thumb fingered my ear lightly while his eyes penetrated mine with an intensity I'd never seen before. “Let me kiss you again?”   

My heart raced in my chest so loudly, I was sure Drew could hear it. There was no doubt I wanted him to kiss me. I was always thinking about it, but resisted the urge to acknowledge it most of the time.

Not anymore.

I reached for his face, my hand cradling his jaw as I grazed over his cheek with my thumb. The stubble of his beard pricked my fingers. My own intense gaze met his when I said, “You can't demand something I already want.” His mouth pressed against mine and I melted like putty in his hands. Drew's lips caressed my own as they pulled and nipped on my mouth. When his tongue rubbed against mine, I moaned into his mouth, overwhelmed by the delightful sensations he created in me. I never thought kissing someone like this could feel so wonderful. If this was what I had to look forward to with Drew, he might never be allowed outside my apartment.

During my four years in college, I watched a lot of the girls become involved in what they called “real relationships.” Nothing riled me more than to see two people finally discover one another, then act as if no one on the planet existed besides the two of them. I hated it. Or at least, I thought I did. Maybe envy was what I felt. Now, after all this time, I finally understood what they were going through and what it felt like. As much as I hated to admit it, I had become one of those girls.

I was no different than any of those college girls who wanted to be with their new boyfriends all the time, except for one small thing: I didn’t obsess over him... okay maybe only a
tiny
bit. Since the moment we became officially
together
, we shared lunch every day and spent every night together too, even if only for an hour or less.

All of it seemed surreal. Our relationship was growing faster than I ever imagined and it scared me a little. Not that I wanted it to be less than what it was, but because I knew I was falling hard for him. I didn't know it then, but every moment we
enjoyed together was another opportunity for him to bury himself deeper into my heart. I couldn't help wondering if he felt as strongly for me as I did for him. For once,
he
dominated all of my thoughts. Gone were the innovative ideas I needed to do for class, along with wondering if my dad liked or hated me from one week to the next. For now, Drew was my life and all those other things didn't matter anymore. When I wasn't thinking about him, I was talking about him to Andrea. I couldn't get the details out fast enough for her. She wanted to know everything. I told her about what happened with Drew and the fight we had almost two weeks ago. Of course, I couldn't tell her
all
the private conversations we had, but I wasn't afraid to let her know how awesome a kisser he was. I told her how every time we kissed, not once did he let it get out of hand... no matter how much I would have liked more
.
I had no complaints about getting a little hot and heavy every once in a while, but he was holding back, and I wasn’t sure why.

Andrea told me she knew I'd pick Drew. She said we were too much alike for it not to be a match made in heaven. As much as I wanted to believe her, I had my doubts that it would all come crashing down somehow.

It was nice to catch up with her over dinner the other night when Drew was somewhere helping Phillip. He was helping him almost every evening after work, in preparation for the upcoming charity event, although I still had no idea when it would happen. I kept forgetting to ask. When he wasn't busy helping Phillip, he'd stop by the studio occasionally, to finish cleaning it up, but refused my help. He insisted on only letting me see it after it was finished and everything was set up, which, according to him, was any day now.

I was more nervous waiting for Drew to come over than any other time we'd spent together. In only a couple of hours, we were taking our relationship to a whole new level. Meeting his father was a pretty big deal, and I felt sick, thinking about how things might go. Drew asked me on Friday at lunch if we could cancel our usual dinner date since his father was going to be in town. He didn't even want to see him, but felt obligated to spend some time with him. 

Drew mentioned that he wouldn't mind if I met his father, if he wasn't such a jerk. I was excited that he cared for me enough to want to introduce me; but at the same time, I understood his reasoning had he chosen not to. I felt exactly the same way about my father. Without a doubt, my mother would love Drew, but I wasn't ready to go there yet and bring my parents into our relationship. Drew knew that I had issues with my dad and I still wasn’t comfortable telling Drew about him.

From our past conversations, I understood that it was several months since Drew and his dad really talked. I was surprised when he called me back later that night and asked me to go with him anyway.  He told me he would feel more comfortable if I were with him, but swore that if his dad said one insulting comment about him, or either of our occupations, we were leaving. I was fine with that. All I asked was that he start tonight with an open mind and just see what happens. If I could help resurrect his relationship with his dad, his life would be that much richer by having a loving parent to support him... unlike me. As long as my dad made hateful accusations and continued using alcohol to solve his problems, I never wanted any kind of relationship with him.