Paint It Black (9 page)

Cougar caught the hesitation in my voice and pounced. “If it was only Grady, would you leave the DEA?”

“No,” I admitted.

“Then don’t do it. Abby’s not the one who’s asking you to quit.”

“But Abby’s the one who would benefit if I did.”

Cougar pushed a hand through his hair. “Are you sure about that? Or is that something Grady’s fed you? What are you going to do all day while she’s at school? Do laundry and grocery shop like a good little mommy?”

I couldn’t take this. I was dodging blows from every side now.

“Is there something wrong with that?” I snapped.

“There is if that’s not what you want to be doing.” Cougar scrubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. “My mother … my mother used to paint. She was good, too. I remember how happy she was in the summer, when she’d
set up her easel in the backyard and paint while I played. A guy from the electric co-op saw one of her paintings one day while he was checking the meter. He offered her fifty dollars for it on the spot. She was so happy about that little bit of money, because she’d earned it herself doing something she loved. She told Daddy about it as soon as he got home from work. I don’t know what it was, whether he was threatened by the fact that she found happiness in something he didn’t have anything to do with or even understand, or he didn’t like that she’d gotten any attention, but he hounded her about it after that. Every time she picked up a brush, he harped about something. ‘Quit wasting my money on that foolishness,’ or ‘Quit wasting your time, ain’t you got something better to do?’ Eventually, it was easier for her to just give it up. I bought an easel and set it up at my place for when she visits, but she never touches it. I think she’s afraid to even dream about it anymore. He did that to her, because of his insecurities. Grady’s going to do the same thing to you, and one day you’ll hate him for it.”

We stayed up half the night talking, and when I left the next morning, I felt more torn and confused than ever. But things seemed to be going so much better between Grady and me. It was like a cloud had lifted off our home. When I looked into my daughter’s smiling face, I figured that whatever I had to give up would be worth it.

Two days later, I sat in the conference room with Cougar and Bill, going over our files on Barnes. With all the things going on at home, I hadn’t even had time to think about him. Funny how priorities could change in an instant. His preliminary trial date was approaching, so we were going over everything from top to bottom. When I realized we would probably run late, I excused myself to call Grady.

“Hey, babe,” he said. “What’s going on?”

“I’ll probably be running a little late. Do you think you could pick up Abby this afternoon?”

“Yeah, sure. I’m about to head out. I left some files at home that I need, so I figured I could prep the case as easy from there as I could here. How late do you think you’ll be?”

I glanced at my watch and mentally gauged the paperwork remaining on the conference table. “About an hour.”

“Okay. Well, don’t worry about supper. Abby and I will pick up some Chinese on the way home.”

“Sounds good. I’ll see you then.”

“I love you, Denise,” he said.

“Love you, too,” I said, and clicked the phone shut.

I made it out of the office fifteen minutes ahead of schedule. When I drove by the movie theater, I saw the name of a cartoon Abby had been asking to see on the marquee. Maybe we could take her to the seven o’clock show after we ate.

But when I walked in the door, the house was too quiet. No TV blaring in the living room, no takeout cartons on the kitchen counter. I walked down the hall to Grady’s office and threw open the door.

He was sipping something and reading over a file. His startled eyes flew to me and then his watch. “Shit!” he said, and slammed the glass onto the desk.

My pulse spiked. “Grady …
you forgot
her?”

“I was working and lost track of time …”

Something in his eyes clued me in, some minute shift. I stalked over to his desk and snatched up the glass of cola.

“Necie, wait!”

But I’d already turned it up to take a sip. Jack and Coke. I spat it out and hurled the glass at the wall behind him.

“Hey!” he cried as it shattered, splashing him and his precious papers.

I ran out the door to get my daughter. I was seething when I threw the car in reverse and hurtled down the driveway. I hit the mailbox and nearly the ditch as I shot onto the main road.

How could he have forgotten her? My pulse thudded in my ears when I thought of Abby standing there searching for us. I was going to kill him.

It was nearly twenty minutes after dismissal when I wheeled into the school parking lot.

The place looked deserted.

My tires bumped against the sidewalk when I slid into a parking space. I jumped out of the car and ran up the wheelchair ramp. The front doors were locked.

I raced around the building. My desperation grew with every door I tried and found locked.

Where was Abby?

I yanked hard on the gymnasium door and stumbled backward when it flew open. The girls’ basketball team was running sprints. A few of them gave me curious looks as they raced to the foul line. I didn’t see the coach, so I crossed the floor and entered the main building.

Abby’s classroom was empty. Fear gripped my heart like a cold fist. I could barely breathe as I staggered down the hall and rounded the corner. A gray-haired custodian pushed a dust mop in front of the principal’s office. She clutched her heart when she glanced up to see me barreling toward her.

“Please,” I gasped. “My little girl …”

“Mrs. Bramhall, is that you?” a crisp voice called from inside the office. I sidestepped the janitor’s dust pile and entered.

Abby’s principal, Ms. Defries, gave me a frosty smile. “If you’re looking for Abigail, she called her grandmother to pick her up.”

Tension hissed out of me like air from a tire. I grabbed the doorknob to steady myself. “Oh, thank God. I was so scared. Thank you, Ms. Defries. Her father and I… we
had a little scheduling mix-up. It won’t happen again.”

Her cool voice stopped me when I turned to leave. “That’s what Mr. Bramhall said last time.”

Slowly, I faced her. “Excuse me?”

“Mrs. Bramhall, I realize that sometimes scheduling is difficult when both parents work outside the home, but this is the third time this has happened this semester. It’s not good for Abigail. She was very upset. Perhaps you and Mr. Bramhall should consider making other arrangements for Abby’s transportation to and from school. I notice that she’s also been tardy twice in the past month.”

I was too shocked and furious to speak. This had happened to my baby more than once? I was going to kill Grady. I forgot to say good-bye. I forgot to say anything as I stalked out of the office.

Elizabeth’s gray Cadillac sat waiting by the curb when I pulled into my driveway. I slammed the car in park and sprinted up the yard. I could hear her and Grady yelling at each other before I even opened the door.

They stood nose to nose in the living room, waving their hands and shouting at each other. Abby hunkered on the sofa, hugging her knees to her chest. I took one look at the tears rolling down her face and my temper skyrocketed. She looked terrified.

I ignored Grady and Elizabeth and crossed over to her. She threw her arms around my neck with a desperation that made me want to throttle her father and
grandmother. I hugged her and smoothed my hand over her hair. “It’s okay, baby,” I said, glaring at them over her shoulder. They took the hint and shut up. “Go upstairs and do your homework. I’ll be up in a minute.”

“I-I don’t have any homework.”

I wiped her cheeks. “Then go play your Playstation. I need to talk to Daddy and Grandma.”

She nodded and scampered up the stairs. I listened until I heard her bedroom door shut, then turned to Grady. He wouldn’t meet my eyes.

“Thank you, Elizabeth, for picking her up, but if you’ll excuse us, I really need to talk to Grady about this.”

She gave me a wide-eyed, indignant look that was so much like Grady’s I might’ve laughed under different circumstances. “No, I will not leave. Not until I’ve said what I came here to say.”

Trying to keep my voice even, I said, “And what is that?”

She twisted her pearl necklace. “I’m tired of the two of you taking this child for granted. It’s time for the both of you to grow up and stop being so selfish. Can’t you see you’re hurting her?”

“Elizabeth—”

“You’re parents now. It’s time you started acting like it.”

I was in no mood for a parenting lecture from anyone, much less the woman who’d turned Grady into such a spoiled brat. I took a step toward her, and Grady
moved between us.

“Mom, just go,” he said. “I said I was sorry. Let that be enough.”

She took a deep breath and smoothed a wave of blond hair from her forehead before peering over his shoulder at me. “Denise, I think you need to decide what’s more important to you, your job or your family. I don’t think you can have both.”

Even though I was about to take time off from work, her words provoked me. I shot Grady a baleful glance and wondered what he’d told her. Today was his fault, not mine. I’d be damned if I let him pin the blame on me. “What about Grady? Why is it me who has to decide between career and family? Why not him?”

She gave me an exasperated look. “Because he’s a man, dear. Women are different.
Mothers
are different. Once you have children, you can’t carry on like you did before. You have responsibilities.”

“What about Grady’s responsibilities?”

“Grady’s job puts him under a lot of pressure—”

I folded my arms across my chest and laughed. “And mine doesn’t?”

“Don’t twist my words. I know you’re under pressure, too—that’s what I’m saying. You don’t have to be! You don’t have to work. Grady can support you both. None of this would be happening if you didn’t spend half your time at work—”

Anger flashed over me like a lightning strike. “No, Elizabeth. None of this would be happening if your son didn’t spend half his time in the bottle.”

Elizabeth blinked at me, then stared up at Grady. “You’ve been drinking?”

Grady scowled at me. “No, I—it’s nothing, okay? I had one drink today, and Necie flipped out. I’m not drunk.” He spun in a slow circle. “You can see I’m not drunk.”

“Whatever,” I said, and shoved past him.

“Necie, wait,” he called, but I ignored him while I hustled up the stairs to Abby’s room.

She lay on her pink bedspread, staring at the ceiling. I stretched out beside her and wrapped my arm around her waist.

She covered my hand with hers. “Are they still fighting?”

“I think they’re winding down,” I said. “What do you say we get out of here for awhile? I’ll take you out to eat, anywhere you want.”

Her eyes brightened. “Anywhere?”

“Yup.”

She giggled and sat up. “Let’s go!”

Grady and Elizabeth were starting round two when we snuck downstairs. They didn’t even see us when we slipped through the kitchen. Abby slowed, but I tugged her along.

In my car, I got her belted in, then popped in one of her Disney sound tracks. Soon she was singing along, the shadows in her eyes vanquished.

I was halfway into the city before I realized I’d left my purse at home. I didn’t have my driver’s license, and I didn’t have a dime on me.

“Fantastic,” I muttered. What was I going to do now?

Then I remembered I had forty dollars in my locker from where Tucker had paid me back for some auto parts I’d picked up for him. I’d chance the driver’s license and simply hope I wasn’t pulled over. I turned around in a bank parking lot and headed toward the office.

“Hey, kiddo. I need to run by the office a sec. That okay with you?”

She smiled at me in the rearview mirror. “Will Uncle Bill be there?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

It was snowing again by the time we reached the DEA headquarters. Abby raced up the sidewalk with her head tilted back, catching snowflakes on her tongue. Ubi strode out the door, but caught it on the backswing and held it open for us.

He stooped to peer at Abby. “Necie, you’ve shrunk!”

She giggled and covered her mouth with her hand.

He winked up at me. “Oh, there you are. This must be Abby.” He held out his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

She yanked his arm violently up and down.

He laughed. “Hey, hey! You’re a rough little thing like your mother, huh?”

“Learned from the best,” I said. “I didn’t realize you two hadn’t met.”

Ubi was the most recent addition to our team, but he’d fit right in. Sometimes I forgot he hadn’t always been around.

“I would’ve known her anywhere.” He ruffled her hair. “I’m Ubi.”

Abby giggled again. “Scooby?”

He pretended to be offended. “Do I look like a Great Dane to you? Ubi.”

Abby caught the teasing in his voice and said, “Hey, Scooby. Is my Uncle Bill up there?”

Ubi rolled his eyes. “Oh, yeah. He and Cougar are hashing it out.”

I snagged the back of Abby’s coat to keep her from rushing inside without me. “Hashing what out?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t wanna know. I took one look at Cougar’s face and headed in the other direction, you know what I mean?”

“Yeah,” I said, thinking of the argument I’d be facing when I went home.

When we reached the fifth floor, Bill’s office door was closed. I hustled Abby past it and down the hall to the locker room. I extracted the forty bucks from my locker and stuffed it in my pocket.

“I want to see Uncle Bill,” Abby protested when I herded her past his office again.

“Honey, I think he’s busy—”

Bill’s door swung open, and Cougar collided with me when he charged out of the office. He grabbed my shoulders to steady me. His face was red, his brow furrowed.

“Hey!” I said. “You okay?”

“No, I’m not okay. I’m piss-tachio!” he said, when he saw Abby behind me.

Abby lifted an eyebrow and I laughed. “He’s from Texas, honey. They talk funny there.”

“Watch it!” he reprimanded, and knelt beside her. “Hey, Princess Abby. How’s it going? Long time, no see.”