Paint It Black (25 page)

“He won’t find me, will he?”

“Of course, he will,” I said, wondering how I was going to make that happen and pay first and last month’s rent on an apartment, too. I hadn’t worked much in the past week, so my next paycheck would be nonexistent. Maybe Cougar would let me stay with him for a couple of weeks, until … but that would mean I wouldn’t get to spend Christmas with my daughter, and that wasn’t going to happen. I was too proud to accept money from either Grady or Cougar, though they’d both offered. Bleakness settled over me like a heavy blanket. What was I going to do?

“Guess what Grandma’s buying me? A portrait doll! She said it will look just like me. And a DVD player for my room, and …”

Abby rattled off a list of promises from Elizabeth, and I felt a little disgusted with myself. The last thing Abby needed was more presents, but that didn’t keep me from wanting to give them to her. There was just no way I could keep up with the Bramhalls.

We played for about an hour, then I told Abby I had to go. I kissed her, promised to be back soon, and headed for the door. From the top of the stairs, I saw Grady and Elizabeth in the living room, their blond heads bent in conversation. They looked up at the same time, and I felt a rush of resentment that made me feel petty and mean-spirited. Grady stood.

“I’ve got to go,” I said. “I’ll be back to get her as soon as I get in my new place. I’m going to put a deposit down today.”

“Today!” Elizabeth blanched. “You mean you’ve found something already?”

“Yeah.” I shifted, thinking of the run-down apartment I’d last visited. Maybe Abby was better off with them, after all. But no, I told myself, money didn’t mean everything. I was her mother and we’d get by. I thought of my mother and the sacrifices she’d made. I didn’t know if that made me feel better or worse, but I suddenly felt closer to her than I had in years.

“But surely you’ll let her spend Christmas here, won’t you? The family’s coming, and we’re having a big dinner.”

I rubbed my forehead. I didn’t even know if I’d have a refrigerator by then, much less anything to put inside it. I wasn’t so selfish that I could deprive my daughter of a happy holiday. “Sure. Abby can spend Christmas Day here.”

“You’re invited, too,” Grady said. We both ignored
the poisonous look Elizabeth shot him.

“Thanks, but I have plans,” I lied. “But look, I want her with me on Christmas Eve.”

“Sure, that’s fair,” Grady said quickly. He crossed the room and touched my elbow. “I’ll walk you to the car. There’s something I want to talk to you about.”

I tensed, figuring whatever he wanted to say couldn’t possibly be a good thing, but Grady surprised me. When we stepped out on the porch, he said, “I got the tickets in the mail yesterday. I wondered what you wanted me to do with them.”

“Tickets?”

“Mickey on Ice
, remember?”

That was so out of left field it startled a laugh out of me. We’d ordered those tickets a lifetime ago, before Angel had been shot, Barnes had been arrested, and my world had been turned upside down.

The tension between us evaporated, and I slouched against my car. “When is it?”

“The twenty-ninth.”

“Well, it was your idea. You should go with her.”

Grady shrugged. “I was hoping we both could go.” He raised his hands, cutting off my protest. “You don’t have to say it, I know we’re over. This isn’t some evil ploy to win you back.” He paused. “I was thinking of Abby. She really wants you to go, and I really want you to … not hate me.”

“I don’t hate you, Grady.”

His green eyes were clear and serious. “You have every reason to, but I don’t want us to be like that, for Abby’s sake.” He laughed and glanced up at the gray sky. “This sounds so cliché, but I want us to be friends.”

“I want that, too.”

“So, you’ll go? I’ll even let you drive.”

A smile twitched at my lips. “Talked me into it. The twenty-ninth … what time?”

“I figured we’d leave around five, grab something to eat on the way. Is that okay with you?”

I agreed, but while backing out of the drive, I wondered if I was the dumbest woman walking the planet.

Cougar called while I was signing the papers on my new place, so I invited him over to check it out. He met me in the parking lot, and we walked up together. From the look on his face when he walked through the door, he was less than impressed.

“It’s … ah …” He rubbed the back of his neck and squinted. “… something.”

I laughed. “So don’t hold back or anything.”

His smile faded. “Are you sure about this? You’re welcome to stay with me as long as you like. Ubi lives alone, right? Maybe I could bunk with him a couple weeks—”

“Cougar, I am
not
booting you out of your own apartment.”

“—or you could stay with Mrs. Angelino and Tori…”

I folded my arms over my chest. “This place will do. It only needs a little fixing up.”

He grunted. “Well, we’d better get started then. I need to run home and grab a few things. Be right back.”

We traded cars, and I drove down the block to Walgreens to buy cleaning supplies. I was scrubbing the kitchen floor when Cougar returned forty minutes later.

He brought reinforcements.

Ubi, Tucker, Kimberly, Bill… I watched in amazement as half the field office filed in the door. They carried paintbrushes, boxes, and even a carpet shampooer.

“Cougar, what—”

He tugged my ponytail. “Don’t be mad. Everyone wants to help, so I thought we’d make a party of it.” He winked. “I promised pizza and beer for slave labor.”

I think the other half of the office workers drifted in and out during the next hour. Oddly enough, Cougar, Kim, and I ended up working together in the kitchen. I scrubbed the floor, she worked on the caked-on crud on the stove hood, and we both snuck glances at Cougar, who looked all sweaty and perfect while he struggled to mend a sagging cabinet.

“Man, I’m dyin’ in here,” he muttered, and yelled to the living room, “Hey, Tuck, turn on the AC!”

He pulled off his T-shirt and tossed it on the counter. Kim and I looked at him, then looked at each other. She grinned and I nearly laughed. I knew what she was
thinking, because I was thinking it, too. She fluttered her hand in front of her face and I winked.

A blond guy I barely knew from the payroll department stuck his head in the doorway. “Hey, Coug. I can’t stay. My kid’s got a ballet recital, but I brought that couch I told you about. Can you help me unload it?”

“Sure.” Cougar hopped down from his perch on the counter and grabbed his shirt. He rolled it up and snapped it at Kim before yanking it back on.

“Hey!” she said, while I thanked the payroll guy.

“No problem,” he said. “It’s kind of old, but it’ll do you until the insurance comes through.”

After they left, I glanced at Kim and said, “Yay, I have a couch!”

She raised one perfect eyebrow. “Honey, you have a lot more than a couch. Jason’s very efficient. He called around, got other people to calling around… I’d say you’ll have enough furniture to fill this place with. Not to mention clothes.”

I didn’t know what to say. I was touched, and maybe a little embarrassed. Unlike Blanche DuBois, I wasn’t used to depending upon the kindness of strangers.

“Thank you for coming today, Kim.”

She smiled, wrinkling her perfect nose. “Don’t mention it. A favor for a friend.”

We both knew which friend she was talking about.

Her sociable expression faded, and she tossed the
S.O.S pad she was using into a trash bag. Stripping off her gloves, she approached me. “Necie, I need to talk to you about something.”

I stopped scrubbing. “Go ahead.”

She glanced toward the doorway. “I don’t want Jason to know.”

Wiping my hands on my thighs, I stood. “You’d better hurry then.”

“It’s about the night you were drugged. I feel so bad about what ha—”

She broke off when Tucker entered the kitchen. “Bedroom’s looking good,” he said, moving toward the sink to refill his water bottle. “Though I’m getting high off paint fumes.”

Ubi chased a giggling Linda through the door, threatening her with a paint-spattered rag.

“We’ll talk later,” Kim whispered. “Too many people.”

“No, wait!” I said, but she edged past Bill toward the living room.

I started after her, but Bill intercepted me. “Hey, I pulled a few strings. The fire investigator I know … he says he’ll give your case top priority. Did you ever talk to your lawyer?”

“Yeah, Milano’s on it. He said he’d fixed all the stuff about switching over the insurance.”

“Good.” Bill wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “You know if you need anything in the meantime, all
you have to do is ask, right?”

I hugged him. “I know.”

He handed me an envelope. “And because I know you won’t ask …”

“Bill, I can’t take money from you.”

“I knew you’d say that, too. So it’s not a gift.”

“No loans, either.”

“Not a loan. Well, not from me, anyway. An advancement on wages. Twenty bucks a week will be held out of your check until it’s paid back.” He winked. “So, you don’t owe your Uncle Bill, you owe your Uncle Sam.”

Rolling my eyes, I took the envelope. “You’re so sneaky.”

“Have to be, because you’re so hardheaded.”

“Pizza!” someone yelled from the other room.

After washing up in the kitchen sink, Bill and I wandered into the living room, where paper towels and pizza boxes were being passed around.

Cougar sat on the floor, propped against my new couch. He scooted down to make room for us. He handed me a bottled water and offered one to Bill, who declined it and snagged a beer from the cooler instead.

“Where’s Kim?” I asked.

“She had to go.”

Damn. What did she know about the night I was drugged that she didn’t want anyone to hear? So much had happened since then that I hadn’t had time to think about it much. She said she was sorry. Could she have
been responsible? Or her friend Andrea? Maybe they’d only wanted me to look bad in front of Cougar, and things had gone too far. But that seemed a little farfetched—and paranoid. It was hardly worth risking their jobs over. But I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and that stupid breath spray Andrea had given me.

The afternoon passed quickly. When I opened the door to show Tucker out, I was surprised to find it dark outside. “Wow. Time flies when you’re having fun.”

He lifted his eyebrows and smiled. “Is
that
what that was?”

I punched his shoulder lightly. “Be careful, Tuck, and thanks for everything. Tell Anne Marie I appreciate the clothes.”

“Will do.”

I stepped back inside and shut the door. Once again, I found myself alone with Cougar.

“So …” He perched on the couch arm. “You going home with me or what?” Shooting me a wicked grin, he said, “I swear I won’t go to sleep on you this time.”

“Ha! That’s what I’m afraid of.”

His smile flickered. “You know I’m teasing, right? When I said no strings, I meant it.” He held up two fingers. “Scout’s honor.”

“Like
you
were ever a Boy Scout,” I scoffed, but it was too late. We’d flipped the switch again, and the sudden silence felt thick. Oppressive.

Tension coiled in the pit of my stomach. Desperate to regain our light mood, I joked, “You’re not the one I’m worried about.”

Cougar’s smile reappeared. I sucked in a breath when he approached.

“Is that so?” he said, and touched my hair.

I swallowed hard and forced a smile. “I don’t do so good with temptation.”

“You want to talk about temptation?” he murmured. “Temptation was waking up to find you beside me this morning.” He idly twisted a lock of my hair around his finger. “You looked so beautiful, with your hair fanned out on my pillow. I wanted more than anything to kiss you.”

His hand slipped to my throat, and I wondered what he thought about the pulse hammering beneath his fingers. I shivered when he stroked my bottom lip with his thumb.

“Would it be such a bad thing …” he asked softly, “… you and me?”

It would be a dangerous thing
, I almost said.

His mouth lingered close to mine, and part of me actually ached to kiss him again, though I knew I should turn and run like hell.

His cell phone jingled to life. Saved by Big and Rich.

Cougar knew what I was thinking, because he laughed and said, “You’re gonna have to answer that question sooner or later.”

He flipped open the phone. I attempted to duck
under his arm, but he stopped me with a hand on my waist. We stood as close as lovers while he answered.

“Oh, hey, Bill,” he said. “What’s going on?”

I didn’t protest when Cougar hooked his finger in my belt loop and tugged me even closer. I rested my head against his chest while he talked.

“What? Oh, yeah. Sure.”

His fingers gently kneaded my back. It should’ve felt awkward standing there like that, but I felt safe. Lulled.

“I’m glad you reminded me. No, not a problem. I’d just forgotten, with everything else going on. I’ll be there.”

He clicked the phone shut and shoved it in his back pocket. Then he pushed my hair aside and kissed my throat.

“Please come home with me.” The vibration from his whisper caused goose bumps to break out on my arms.

I think I tried to protest when he nuzzled my ear, but it was negated by the way I clutched his shoulders and tugged him closer. The only real protest I managed was when he pulled away.

He frowned and dug his phone from his pocket to check the caller ID. Dimly, I heard his ring tone over my roaring pulse.

“I need to take this,” he said, and turned his back. “Hey, Kim. What’s up?”

My face felt hot as I ran my hands over it, trying to regain some semblance of composure. Even though Kim’s call had saved me from making a big mistake, I
couldn’t help feeling resentful of her interruption. The fact that Cougar didn’t seem to want me to hear this conversation upset me even more. He’d moved clear across the living room.

“That’s great!” he was saying. “You’re a doll. So, when—”

He paused, and I wondered again what she’d wanted to talk with me about. Maybe she’d simply wanted to tell me “hands off.”