Paint It Black (31 page)

He stroked the scar on his forehead and stared over my shoulder. “Did I… did I do something wrong last night?”

The pain in his eyes stunned me when his gaze slid to mine. “No,” I whispered.

“Then what is it? You asked me to stay at your apartment last night. You begged me to stay. But now you’re pushing me away. I thought it was good between us. Was I wrong?”

“No, I—” Turning away, I rubbed my eyes. I couldn’t do this right now.

He touched my shoulders, and his big hands felt so good that I had to resist the silly urge to lean into him. “I thought this was something real.”

Something real?

I whirled to face him. “I don’t understand. Why are you acting like this? It
was
good. It was great—”

“I’m not looking for an ego massage here,” he said, his voice rising. I tried to shush him, and when that didn’t work, I talked over him. Probably the whole office was listening, but I didn’t care. I had more important things to worry about.

“Why are you acting like this?” I repeated.

He threw his arms wide. “Me? You want to know why
I’m
acting like this? You couldn’t have made me feel more used if you’d thrown a couple of twenties on
the dresser—”

“Used? What are you talking about? I told you I wasn’t asking for a commitment. It was just sex—”

“It wasn’t just sex to me,” he said.

His statement stole the words from my lips. We stood nose to nose, so close his breath moved my hair.

“I love you,” he said.

I blinked once. Twice. Waiting for him to deliver the punch line. When he didn’t, I laughed anyway. “What? You
love me?”

“Is that so hard to believe?” he demanded, his face reddening.

“Coming from you—yeah, it is.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

A sharp rap on the door made us both turn. The door cracked open, and Luke Jacobi, another agent, peered in.

“What?” we both yelled, and Luke flushed. “Necie, I need to talk to you. It’s really important, so when you’re finished—”

“Oh, we’re finished,” Cougar said, shouldering past me. “We’re beyond finished.”

He pushed past Luke, who stared at me open-mouthed. I turned my back to him and grabbed the phone records off the desk. Folding them, I stuffed them in my purse.

“What is it?” I asked, when Luke didn’t speak.

“There are some men on the way. Feds. They want to talk to you, said they couldn’t get you on the phone.”

The phone. Damn it. I’d forgotten to turn it back on.

“Did they say what it was about? Have they found Abby?”

Luke blanched. “Necie, I think you’d better wait—”

Fear washed over me in a cold, breathtaking wave. I staggered against the desk. “Luke, I can tell you know something. Talk to me!”

He stared down at the floor. His Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed. “There’s … ah … a little girl, in the morgue at County General. They’re checking dental records now—”

Whatever Luke was saying was lost in the roaring of my pulse in my ears. With a trembling hand, I yanked my cell phone out of my purse and punched in Cougar’s number.

When I heard his “hello,” all I could say was his name. I grabbed the edge of the desk to keep from falling.

“You called me,” he said pointedly, when I said nothing else.

“Abby,” I gasped. My teeth chattered so hard I thought they’d break. “It’s Abby. They think … they think … There’s a girl, at the morgue …”

Instantly, his voice changed. “Babe, is Luke still there with you?”

Numbly, I nodded, before I realized he couldn’t see me.

“Y-y-yesss,” I stuttered.

“Put him on the phone. I’m on my way. Don’t move until I get there.”

I handed the phone to Luke and sank to my knees on the thin gray carpet, hugging myself.

Not my baby. Not Abby. Oh, please, God, not Abby.

Time blurred while I prayed. Someone’s child was dead. Someone’s little girl. And all I could do was pray that it wasn’t mine.

A pair of strong arms slipped around me, and I turned my head against Cougar’s neck when he hugged me.

“Baby, it’s okay,” he soothed, his voice raspy and hoarse. “We don’t know anything for sure.”

“Take me to the hospital. Please.”

“We’re going right now.” A sea of concerned co-workers parted as Cougar led me to the elevator.

He kept talking to me, and somehow I drew strength from him.

We made it to County General in record time.

“Hold the elevator!” Cougar yelled, sticking his hand out to stop the sliding door.

Grady’s frantic eyes met mine. Tears streamed down his cheeks, and wordlessly, he held out his arms. I let go of Cougar’s hand long enough to hug him.

My stomach lurched as the elevator descended to the basement.

Grady charged ahead when the doors opened, following the arrows to the morgue. I noticed the restrooms
directly across and remembered a cop joking about the bathrooms being directly outside the morgue so the rookies wouldn’t have so far to run.

When Grady touched the swinging doors, Cougar grabbed his arm. “Hey, man, let me go in. If it is her—”

“If it is her, I need to see for myself,” Grady said, and shouldered past him. Cougar turned to me, placing both hands on my shoulders.

“Necie, you don’t need to go in there. Not yet. Let me go.”

Bile rose in my throat, and I felt myself nodding. I didn’t think I could see Abby stretched out on one of those slabs. I couldn’t do it.

Cougar kissed the top of my head and pushed through the doors.

Time seemed to stand still while I waited for them to emerge. The only sound I heard was the buzz of the fluorescent light over my head.

Then Grady burst through the doors with his hand over his mouth.

He barreled past me into the men’s room, and I heard him gagging. My heart clenched in my chest like a fist.

Cougar burst through the morgue doors and seized me in his arms. “It’s not her,” he said. “It’s not her.”

My knees sagged, but I was safely pinned in Cougar’s arms. “Are you sure?” I asked.

“I’m positive. Fucking feds should’ve never called until
they were sure. I’m gonna ream somebody over this.”

I was about to ask Cougar to check on Grady when I heard the roar of a water faucet. He stepped out of the bathroom a moment later, his blond hair dripping water, his face the same shade of gray as his jacket.

“Are you okay?” I asked, and he nodded.

His eyes flitted wildly around the hall. He looked like a junkie in withdrawal.

“Man, can I give you a ride?” Cougar asked, loosening his death grip on me. Grady shook his head violently. His whole body was shaking.

“You can’t drive like this,” Cougar said. “At least let me call you a cab.”

Grady patted his pocket and cursed when he didn’t find a phone. “Okay,” he said, “but let’s get out of this friggin’ basement.”

We took the elevator to the first floor, and Cougar walked outside to make the call. Grady and I sat side by side in the padded waiting room chairs.

“I don’t know what I would’ve done …” he said softly, and rubbed his hand across his mouth.

“I know.”

He took my hand and squeezed my fingers. “It’s going to be all right. We’re going to find her.”

“We have to,” I agreed.

Cougar walked back in. I saw him glance at us, then purposely look away. I let go of Grady’s hand and walked
over to join him.

“Cab’s on its way,” he told Grady, then led me outside.

“We’re parked a million miles away,” he said. “Do you want me to go get the car?”

“No. I want to walk.” Somehow the warm sun on my face lifted my spirits. I slipped my fingers in Cougar’s and he squeezed them.

“Cougar … about this morning … I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything. I’m so crazy right now—”

He sighed. “It’s okay. You were up-front with me about what it was. It wasn’t your fault that I wanted to make something more out of it.”

He stopped and we faced each other in the middle of the parking lot. He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear and gave me a crooked grin that made my heart stumble. “Now’s not the time or the place. First, we find Abby. Then we talk.”

“Cougar …”

He held up his hand. “No, no. It’s okay. I was thinking about your reaction. It wasn’t exactly what I’d hoped for, but I can see why you laughed at me. I know I haven’t been exactly settled in the past, but that was before I realized what I wanted. What I needed. It’s you, Necie. I’ve wanted to tell you for so long.”

“How long?” I asked, surprised.

He grimaced. “Long enough. Probably ever since we started working undercover assignments together.

Working with you made me a little nuts—Angel used to torment me about you—but I tried to leave you alone. You were married, Abby was small… I figured that eventually I’d get you out of my head. Then all this happened with Angel, and Grady … All that stuff got stirred up inside me again. But, anyway, like I said … Abby is our only priority now, but once we get her home … I’d really like to sit down and talk with you.”

“Okay,” I said, my head spinning. I squeezed his hand and brushed a soft kiss on his mouth.

On the way home, my shock from the morgue experience dissolved into a gnawing anxiety. I told Cougar about Barnes’s death. I wondered if Maria knew yet. Was Abby in even greater danger? I weighed the options and decided I had to take a chance.

“Cougar,” I said. “If I asked you to trust me with something, without asking questions, would you do it? There are a lot of things I need to tell you, things I should’ve told you a long time ago, but I was scared, and I didn’t know how—”

“Necie, relax,” he said, offering me a puzzled smile that made me feel ashamed. “I trust you. Whatever it is, I trust you.”

“I need to go see Maria Barnes.”

He stared at me for a long moment, then focused his attention back on the road. “Okay. Are you going to try to arrange a meeting at the station—”

“I want to go to her house.”

Cougar wiped his hand over his mouth. “Honey… are you sure that’s such a good idea? Her father just died. She’s not the most stable person under any circumstances—”

“I think she might have Abby.”

He blinked at me. “Why would she have Abby?”

“She has a … vendetta against me. She had an affair with Grady. She …” I paused, unsure of how much I should say.

He frowned, and shook his head. “Maria Barnes had an affair with Grady?”

“Yes, but… You just have to trust me. She’s out to get me. Out to ruin my life.”

“Over Grady? But you’re divorcing him. I think you’re exhausted, and I’m not sure you’re thinking too clearly—”

“There’s more—a lot more—but don’t make me go into it now. I know it’s a lot to ask, but please trust me. Now might be the best time to see her. She’s angry. She wouldn’t be able to hide it if she’s guilty.”

“Then let’s call the police—”

“We don’t have time to go through the proper channels. I have no proof. I don’t have anything. But if she did it, she’ll boast about it. At least then I’ll know.”

“Okay,” he said again.

We pulled up to the gates of the Barnes estate fifteen minutes later. A burly blonde approached the car.

“I’m here to see Maria,” I said, with as much authority as I could muster.

“She’s not here.”

“Please tell her Necie wants to talk to her.”

“I would, if she were here, but I already told you she isn’t.”

“Can we go in and wait for her?”

He laughed. “Not without a search warrant, Officer.”

So he knew who I was. I don’t know why that surprised me, but it did.

“Will you tell her I stopped by?”

He smirked. “I’m sure she’ll be in touch.”

I rolled the window up and chewed my thumbnail. “I have to get in there. I have to see her.”

Cougar snapped his gum and shrugged. “So, we’ll get in there.”

He pulled out, drove about a quarter of a mile, then wheeled the car into the driveway of a home with a realtor’s sign staked in the yard. He pulled the car all the way behind the house, hiding it from the road.

“We’re hoofing it from here,” he said, and killed the motor.

We crossed the road and reentered the woods, walking until we encountered the imposing fence.

“Probably wired,” he said. “We get too close, set off an alarm.”

“So what are we going to do?”

“Keep walking.”

We’d traveled another hundred yards, and he touched my shoulder. “Aha.”

He pointed at a sprawling oak ahead. Looking at its long, overhanging limbs, I knew immediately what he had in mind.

I sighed. “Let’s go, Tarzan.”

He scaled the tree first, then stretched down a hand to help me up. We moved up a few more feet.

“Me first,” he said, and edged out onto the limb.

It creaked and dipped under his weight, but he managed to clear the fence. Then, he locked his hands, lowered his body, and swung for a moment before dropping to the ground.

Closing my eyes, I tried to mimic his actions, but somehow I didn’t manage to land as gracefully.

“You okay?” he asked, and I could tell he was trying not to smile.

“Fine,” I muttered, dusting off my behind.

The huge pines nearly blocked the sun. Cougar didn’t seem to have any problem navigating the woods, but I kept sliding in the snow.

“What’s the matter, city girl?” he asked. “Can’t walk if it’s not on asphalt or concrete?”

“Ha, ha … Very—” I gasped when a man shot out from behind a tree in front of us.

We went for our guns.

“Denise!” the man cried. “Don’t shoot!” My arm faltered when I recognized his voice. Frank Barnes took another step toward us, holding up his hands.

“I’m here to help.”

CHAPTER
16

D
umbfounded, I stared at him, but Cougar harbored no such indecision. He pointed his gun at Barnes’s head.

“What … how …” I stammered.

“You were right,” Barnes said. “After I talked with Maria, I knew you were right. This is the only way I knew to help.”

“What’s going on here?” Cougar demanded.

Barnes ignored him. “If you walk in there, she’ll kill you. I failed her, like I failed you.”