Pain Lived, Love Found 2 (15 page)

He tried to run after me but out of the corner of my eye I saw someone who looked eerily like Roman running at my attacker at full speed before he viciously tackled him to the ground. I stopped running and turned around to make sure my eyes weren’t playing tricks on me and that this really was Roman that I was seeing. There was a brief struggle until Roman overpowered the man and sat on his chest. He began to rain powerful blows to the man’s face until he was a bloody mess. Roman’s fists were covered in blood, and his white dress shirt now had blood spatters all over it.

“Roman! Stop it!” I yelled as I ran towards him.

My words weren’t registering with him as he continued to pummel the man. When I finally reached him I screamed at him again, and this time he stopped. He was sweating and had the scariest snarl on his face. He wasn’t Roman anymore; he had turned into someone else. Roman was panting with adrenaline while my attacker was moaning in pain.

“Who sent you?” Roman and I both knew who sent this low life to attack me.

“He’s gonna kill me if I tell you man!” the bloodied man said.

He turned his head to the side to spit out blood and a tooth he lost due to the beat down Roman inflicted on him. I could hear the fear in his voice, and he was right - Carter would have him killed, especially for not completing his assignment. If there was one thing Carter didn’t stand for, it was incompetent people working for him.

“You’re a dead man either way, so you might as well tell me,” Roman warned.

“Carter. Carter sent me. He wanted to scare the girl and send a message to you. He’s coming for you man. He wants to fuck up your entire life before he personally kills you,” the man confessed.

Roman grabbed the man by his collar and asked “What’s your name?”

“Alonzo.”

“Well, Alonzo, you go back and tell Carter that if he wants me, he knows where to find me. I’m not hiding from him or anyone else. But if he comes near Sarah again or sends any of his goons to hurt her or anyone else I care about, I will kill his entire family, one by one, while he watches before I slowly kill him. Now get the fuck out of here, and if I see your face again, I’ll kill you myself.” Roman looked the scared man in his eyes. Slowly he got up and let the man run away.

I was looking at Roman like he was some alien from another planet. I had no clue this side of him even existed. He was still breathing hard, his eyes dark and full of fury as they now focused on me. I was trembling and didn’t even know it until he walked towards me and placed his hands on my upper arms.  “Are you okay, Sarah? Did he hurt you?”

“I-I’m okay, I think. What were you doing here? How did you know?”

Cautiously checking his surroundings Roman said, “Let’s go inside and talk.”

He led me to the front door of my apartment building and I blindly followed him as I still tried to wrap my head around everything that just happened. Roman picked up my keys from the ground where I dropped them and handed them to me.

“Thank you,” I whispered. I tried to get the key into the keyhole but my hand was shaking so much that I couldn’t complete the simple task that I had done many times before.

Roman looked at me briefly and took my keys from my hand and opened the door himself. When we got to my apartment door it was already ajar. Roman pushed me to the side and took a pistol out of the back of his pants. He carries a gun too? I thought to myself.

The angry snarl returned to his face when he turned to me and said, “Stay here. Do not come inside until I tell you to. Understand?”

I was so scared all I could do was nod my head yes. Roman pushed my door open with his foot and slowly went inside, checking all perimeters before continuing in further. I couldn’t hear much other than him opening and closing doors before he came back to the hallway and told me to come inside.

When I walked inside of my apartment I turned the lights on. I expected to see my place ransacked and a lot of damage, but I saw nothing of the sort. Everything was in place until I went to my bedroom. Written in red lipstick on my dresser mirror was “Our love will never die, but someone you love will.”

I dropped my purse and keys on the floor and covered my mouth in horror. Tears began to fall out of my eyes. He’s coming after my family. The thought made me feel sick to my stomach. I turned to look at Roman with my frightened, tear-filled eyes and he pulled me into his arms and held me tight, and that’s when I bawled. I couldn’t help it. It had been a long time since I had been that frightened about anything.

“Nothing is going to happen to you or your family, Sarah. I’ll make sure of it. I swear on my life I will protect you, all of you,” Roman reassured in my ear.

“How, Roman? You can’t be everywhere watching everyone in my family. This has gone entirely too far. I need to go to Carter and ask him exactly what it is he wants.”

“The hell you will!” Roman yelled which caused me to jump, at the same time he pulled me back to look me in the eyes.  “He wants you, Sarah, that’s what he wants. He wants to take you away from me, don’t you get it? You going to him will only play into his hands, and I’m not letting you do that. Your life would be in danger.”

“But we’re not together.”

I’m so confused right now.

Roman pinned me with a look that said otherwise, and the unspoken words hung in the air. “He doesn’t know that, and it’s going to stay that way,” Roman stated.

I turned away from him and began pacing the floor in my bedroom.

“This can’t be happening. Sloane is pregnant with her first baby. Michael…oh my God Michael! If he finds out about any of this he will kill Carter himself and land himself back in prison. He’s already threatened to kill Carter before, Roman, and he’ll do it before either of us could blink if he found out what Carter did to me today.”

Roman took me by the arms again and looked me in the eyes. “Sarah, you have to keep this between us for now. Let me handle everything. I promise you and your family will be fine. I need you to trust me on this. Do you trust me?”

I slowly nodded my head, yes.

“Tell me you trust me, Sarah,” Roman demanded.

“I trust you.”

We stood there staring into each other’s eyes for what seemed like forever, but in actuality it was only for a few moments. I couldn’t help hanging onto that tiny string of hope that still dangled from my heart. No matter how much I tried to ignore it, it was always there in my subconscious when it came to Roman. It may have been easy for him to forget about me and cut me out of his life, but Lord knows it wasn’t easy for me to do the same with him. The more I thought about it, the more I hurt and I had to get my mind off of what could have been with this man. My eyes left his and focused on his blood-stained shirt and hands. I frowned. “You need to get cleaned up. Look at your hands, Roman.” His knuckles were bloody and full of cuts and bruises and they looked swollen. “I’ll be fine,” he mumbled as he briefly looked at his hands and then brought his eyes back to mine.

“I’m cleaning you up. Let’s go.” I led him to my bathroom, which suddenly seemed small with his big body taking up so much of the space. I gently washed his hands in the sink with cold water and got all of the blood off them and then patted them dry with a soft towel. I put the lid down on the toilet so Roman could sit down while I continued to tend to his hands. I got the Neosporin out of my medicine cabinet and gently applied it with a Q-Tip to the open cuts and wrapped his hand with gauze and medical tape. I could feel the heat from Roman’s eyes as he watched my every move.

“All done.” I backed away from him and forced a nervous smile as I struggled with being so close to him. I yearned for his touch, a caress, anything to show me that he felt something, anything for me, something that showed me that he still cared. I turned away to leave when Roman pulled me back to him. I closed my eyes and put my head down. How could he read my mind and my emotions this way? Was he having these same conflicting emotions as me? Was his spirit tormented because his heart and mind were at war? When I felt his hand gently caress my face and tuck a lock of my hair behind my ear, I opened my eyes. He was looking at me intently with a pained expression on his face.

“I miss you.” His deep voice cracked with the emotion he felt, and my heart fluttered at his admission. His words were music to my fragile soul, and the hope that stirred in my heart began to blossom even more. “I miss you too,” I found myself saying in return. I was so happy in that moment, so relieved, that I felt fresh tears forming in my eyes. “I hate the way…” I started to say, but he hushed me by placing his index finger over my lips. I was tempted to kiss his finger and then take it into my mouth and gently suck it and caress it with my tongue, but I let the temptation pass.

Looking me in the eyes he shook his head and said, “I don’t want to talk about that. Not right now at least.” Roman pulled me to him until I was standing between his legs. He cupped one side of my face and brought me down until my lips reached his. In that moment we shared the sweetest, most tender kiss ever. It was emotional and intense, and then it turned very passionate. Roman pulled me down into his lap so he could deepen the kiss. His lips and strong tongue dominated me, and it only took seconds for me to submit to his will and give into the urgency of his need and passion. He broke our kiss and began to plant sensual kisses on my neck, followed by delicious, gentle nibbles with his teeth.

“Roman, I’ve missed you so much,” I moaned softly.

As if I had doused him over the head with a bucket of ice cold water, Roman abruptly pulled back and pushed me off of him so he could stand up. The thick, ugly wall was up again and an angry scowl framed his beautiful face. What did I say? What did I do to make him hate me all over again? Giving into his kisses and telling him how much I missed him? I didn’t understand, and frankly I was tired of my emotions being played with.

I was ready to cuss him out when he looked at me with his stormy brown eyes and said, “You need to stay with your sister tonight. Tell her that your place is being fumigated or something. In the meantime, I’m going to have ‘round-the-clock security for you and your family. No one will see them, but they will be around to protect you...all of you.”

I stared at him blankly as I tried to process everything he was telling me.

How did everything go so wrong so fast? Instead of him pushing me away we could be tangled up in my sheets in my bed. Or maybe we’d be in his bed. Either way I know we’d be together and happy. But no, instead we’re angry and tense and unsure of each other. Damn it! I hate this!

“Sarah, did you hear me?” I could hear the impatience in his voice.

“Yeah, I heard you.”

Part of me wanted to fight, but I was so emotionally drained that I simply couldn’t. I turned away from him and walked back into my bedroom and sat on my bed. “You never told me what you were doing here tonight.”

I felt I deserved to know that much at least.  I could tell that was the last thing Roman wanted to discuss by the way his body tensed up and he began to rub the back of his neck. I noticed that he always rubbed the back of his neck when he was uncomfortable or upset.

He finally looked at me. “I came to check on you, to make sure you were okay. I could tell you were shaken up by Carter’s phone call earlier.”

“You could have just called...but then you wouldn’t have been here to save me from Carter’s goon attacking me. Thank you for being here.” I truly meant that.

“Pack some clothes and call your sister. I’ll drop you off there.”

Apparently my thank you meant nothing to him. I was so sick of his mood swings that I snapped. I jumped off of my bed and got in his face. “I am really tired of your Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde mood swings. Just moments ago you were kissing me like a man possessed, got my damn panties soaking wet wanting you, and then like the flip of a switch you’re treating me like shit! I thanked you for saving me and you act as though I’ve said nothing. If I repulse you to the point that you can’t stand to look at me or be around me, then just fucking leave, Roman! Get out of my life, lose my number, and never contact me again! I will handle Carter on my end and you handle him on yours, but this hot and cold shit with you - I’m done. I have my own goddamn car and I will drive myself to my sister’s house.”

I stormed out of my bedroom and to my front door. I opened the door and stood there with one hand on the doorknob and the other on my hip as I waited for Roman to leave.

I wish he’d hurry up because I felt the tears coming and I’d be damned if I cry in front of him ever again. My days of being vulnerable in front of a man who can’t even stand me are over.

He was angry as well, fuming even, as he walked towards me. Before he left he stopped in front of me and looked me in the eyes and said in a low authoritative voice, “You and I will talk when the time is right and not a moment sooner. This conversation is far from over, Sarah. I’m going to follow you to Sloane’s house, so hurry up and get your things.”

He stood there and stared at me pointedly, daring me to defy him. Lord knows I was tempted to start World War III with this man, but Roman was clearly in a mood himself. Truth be told, I was a little afraid of seeing him at his worst. Instead, I glared at him and turned on my heel and stormed to my bedroom. I heard my door close and assumed Roman had left. I picked up my purse off of my bedroom floor and dug out my cell phone and called Sloane.