Out Of The Ashes (The Ending Series, #3) (16 page)

It was Mase’s
turn to shake his head. “Like I said—I can’t imagine.”

“Okay, I’m done,”
Carlos said, straightening and, once again, shaking out his hands and making
that faint crackling sound.

Camille stood and
stretched much more languorously than Mase had done before picking her way
across the uneven rocks toward us.

“Thank you,
Sweet Boy. Now, please bring Gabe to me,”
I told Jack.

The crunch of rocks
and dirt under boots alerted us to Gabe’s approach. Jack slinked ahead of him,
loping the last few yards to reach us first. With a sigh, the German shepherd lay
back down, rolling on his side in universal dog-speak for “rub my belly.”

“Good job, Sweet
Boy,” I told him, scratching a spot that prompted him to kick out his leg in
pleasure. I patted the side of his tummy before standing to greet Gabe. “Hey…do
you have a minute?” I asked him, fiddling with my fingers. I still felt awkward
every time I spoke to him, courtesy of all that had happened between us at the
Colony.

Gabe leaned his
shoulder against a scraggly tree, eyeing Carlos, Mase, and Camille with
curiosity and a hint of caution. His pale blue eyes flicked to me, and he nodded.

I smiled shakily.
“Right, so…” I glanced at Carlos, then back at Gabe. “I—
we
wanted to
talk to you about Carlos’s Ability. It seems to be, um,
evolving
a bit,
and—”

“Evolving how?”
Gabe asked.

“Well…” Carlos
picked up a twig and rolled it around between his fingers. “At first I could
just turn stuff on and off, like radios and lights and stuff.” He paused,
staring at the twig with intense focus. “But now…” There was a crackling sound,
closely followed by sparks and threads dancing around the twig like blue
lightning. Smoke drifted up from the twig, carrying the scent of burning wood,
and Carlos dropped it on the dirt. “Now I can do
that
, too.”

Slowly, Gabe
stepped closer to Carlos. He sank to a crouch a few feet from the teenager and
reached for the twig. The second his fingertips made contact, he sucked in a
sharp breath and pulled back. “Impressive…but why are you showing
me
?”

“Because he can
do the same thing to a person, at the same intensity or much lower,” Mase said.

I crossed my arms
over my chest and raised my eyebrows. “Remind you of anything?”

Standing, Gabe
looked from Mase to Carlos to me, his eyes lighting up with interest. “It most
certainly does.” He stepped closer to Carlos and held out his hand, palm up.
“Show me.”

Carlos glanced at
me. When I nodded, he extended his hand, holding it about an inch above Gabe’s.
“Don’t move,” he told the older man. “And
don’t
touch me.” When Gabe’s
head tilted to the side, Carlos said, “The twig.”

“Ah…so direct
contact is more intense while you’re using your Ability?”

“And for a little
while afterward,” I added.

Carlos pressed
his lips into a thin line, and a few seconds later, Gabe’s breath hitched.

I watched, seeing
no visible sign of Carlos’s Ability, but I could almost feel the hum of
electricity flowing over Gabe’s skin.

“Don’t extend it
any further up my arm,” Gabe said, his voice slightly hoarse. “I don’t want to
risk you actually knocking my Ability out for who knows how long.”

Carlos shrugged
and stepped backward, shaking out his hand for the third time that evening.

Gabe did the same
and met my eyes, excitement shining in his. “What a pleasant surprise.”

Giving Gabe a
tight smile, I nodded. “He thought of it and figured it might help give us an
advantage down the road, especially if we come across any other people like
Herodson. He’s been practicing pretty much every day with Camille and Mase.” I
tapped my index finger against my lips. “The only problem is that he’s a
little
bit
deadly if he accidently touches anyone at
the wrong time.”

“We’d have to
figure out a way around that…otherwise it’d be too dangerous to be practical.”
Gabe’s gaze grew distant. “But I do think it could be useful, and for more than
just your standard Ability-increasing electrotherapy.”

I frowned. “Like
what—use Carlos as a weapon?”

“Not exactly what
I was thinking, but it’s a definite possibility.” Gabe paused, taking a
ponderous deep breath. “Electrotherapy is similar to part of the process that
creates Re-gens.” He glanced at Camille and Mase. “We know that you two
experienced an excessive amount of self-administered electrotherapy, and that
by doing so, you regained some access to the memory centers in your brains, diminishing
the retrograde amnesia we’d previously believed was an unavoidable side effect
to the Re-gen creation process.”

I glanced at
Carlos. “So…what? You think this could help Mase and Becca remember more of their
lives
before
?”

Gabe grinned, his
eyes gleaming with such fierce intelligence that he was almost frightening. “That,
and it might help us with Camille’s little speaking problem…as well as a few
other things.” He looked at Carlos. “Let’s take a walk, shall we? I have a few
questions…”

~~~~~

That night, I lay
beside Jason in the tent we’d been sharing for months and stared up at the green
nylon roof, unable to think of anything but my desperate need to slip into
another creature’s mind.
I
focused on the ever-present connection that stretched between myself and Ray,
who was soaring through the night sky a mile or two to the west. With a sigh, I
slipped into her mind.

I was Ray.

It was
moon-time, and I was soaring among the stars. The cool night wind sliced
between my feathers, reminding me how good it felt to be alive, to fly. I beat
my wings once, twice, three times, climbing higher. And then I dove, ecstatic
as she-who-flies-with-me made happy sounds.

CRACK.

Pain in my
right wing. So much pain. A flash of white.

The ground was
growing too close. I beat my wings, needing to slow my descent, but my right
wing refused to move. I tried again. Again. Again. Again.

Too late. As
the ground rush toward me, I pushed she-who-flies-with-me away.

I slammed back
into my body with a scream.

Scrambling out of
my sleeping bag, I only remotely felt Jason’s arms wrap around me, one around
my middle and one around my shoulders. I fought against him, needing to escape,
to get outside, to get to Ray.

“Red! Dani! You
have calm down!” Jason said, his voice harsh and demanding.

Like his words
had flipped a switch inside me, I went limp, sagging back against him. “Ray…they
shot Ray,” I sobbed. “Ray…”

“What—
who
shot Ray?” When I didn’t respond, only sobbed harder, Jason shook me. “Dani!
Who
shot her? Are we in danger?”

I took gasping
breaths, trying to quiet the convulsive sobs wracking my body. “I—I don’t know.
I don’t know…Ray…”

“Yeah?” Jason
said, raising his voice. “No, we’re okay. Get everyone up and gathered—no fire.
Something’s happened.” He relaxed the arm he’d wrapped around my shoulders and
gently stroked my sweat-dampened hair, brushing back pieces that were stuck to
my face. “What happened?” he asked, his voice dropping to barely a
whisper.

“Ray…we were
flying, and there was…” I swallowed several times. “A crack. And pain.” I
squeezed my eyes shut at the remembered agony. “Her wing…someone shot her wing,
and we were falling, and then I was back here…”

Pressing his
cheek against the top of my head, Jason exhaled heavily. “Why weren’t you
sleeping?”

“Why wasn’t I—” I
wriggled out of his hold and turned on my knees to face him. “It doesn’t
matter
!”
I said, shaking my head vehemently. “She’s out there. I can still feel her.
She’s hurt badly, but she’s still alive. We have to go find her. We have to
help
her!”

Jason didn’t say
anything for a long moment. He blinked. Watched me. Blinked. Stared. Measured.
Blinked. “Alright. The others are gathering. Let’s go talk to them.”

I was yanking
down the tent door’s zipper before he finished speaking. Barefoot and dressed
in sweatpants and a way-too-big t-shirt I’d borrowed from Jason, I jogged to
the center of camp where everyone was gathering, half-awake, half-dressed, and
half-armed.

“Ray’s been
shot!” I said as I reached them. “We have to go find her!”

“Shot?” Sanchez
looked at me so intently that I felt certain we would be able to get to Ray in
time. Sanchez was a woman who could get things done. “How far away?”

I pointed to the
west and a little south. “A couple miles that way.”

Sanchez looked
past me, and I could hear Jason’s footsteps as he jogged up behind me. “We’ve
got potential hostiles to the southwest—armed,” she said to Jason. She glanced
at the eastern horizon; it was just starting to lighten. “It’ll be another two
hours at least until full light. We can either sit tight until we know more or
move out now.”

My heart sank
like lead in water. “We have to go after Ray,” I repeated.

“Wait, which one
is Ray?” Sarah asked.

“She’s the white
falcon,” Zoe said as she skirted around the group to reach me. She slipped an
arm around my shoulders and squeezed gently. “How badly was she hurt, Dani?”

“I don’t know.” I
focused on my mental connection with the falcon, opening myself up to more
input. I shook my head as I listened to Ray’s terrified babbling. “She’s in a
lot of pain. Her wing’s useless…she can’t fly, and her body hurts. She wants me
to stay with her. She’s scared.”

I looked around
at my companions, my friends, seeing pity on their faces, but not a single
ounce of determination.
Nobody
intended to help Ray. I shoved away from
Zoe with my good arm, a wild sort of energy pulsating through me. “We
can’t
just
leave her out there.”

“Red…”

“It’s a bird,”
Sanchez said. “I’m sorry, Dani, but we’re not risking our lives to rescue a
damn bird.”

I rounded on her.
“A
damn bird
?” I shouted. “A
damn
bird
?” My chest heaved with each breath, indignation a living
thing inside me. “That
damn bird
has done everything I’ve ever asked her
to do for us. She left her territory…scouted for us day and night…warned us of
other people…helped us find safe places and food…almost killed herself looking
for water…” My fingers curved into claws; I wished they really
were
claws.
“That
damn bird
is part of the reason we’re all still alive!”

Sanchez raised
her hands defensively.

“Dani, calm
down,” Jason said, stepping between Sanchez and me, blocking my view of the
other woman. He placed his hands on my shoulders and repeated my name, drawing
my eyes up to his face. “Let’s think about this. Maybe there’s another way.
Could you use some of the other animals? Are there any you can send to retrieve
her?”

“I—I—” I shook my
head, searching his eyes. “Maybe, okay…maybe.”

I was in the
process of scanning the area around where Ray had fallen when the falcon’s fear
and panic quadrupled. Slipping into her mind, I immediately understood why.

I was Ray.

A two-legs
stared down at me, his face inches from mine. I couldn’t move, and I didn’t
know what to do. I didn’t want to be alone, and I wasn’t, now that
she-who-flies-with-me had returned. She was with me. I wasn’t alone. At least I
wasn’t alone.

The two-legs
showed me his teeth, then opened his mouth and made two-legs sounds. “I see you,
she-drifter.”

He reached for
me, and I tried to get away from him, but my body wasn’t working right.

“Hush now.
Sleep.”

His hand
stroked the feathers on my neck as his other hand covered my head. There was
darkness. I felt—

“
No
!
” I screamed, falling to my knees. “No…”

13

ZOE

APRIL 27, 1AE

Great Basin Desert, Nevada

“
No
!
” Dani screamed, falling to her knees. “No…”

My eyes flooded
with tears as I tried to swallow the anguish pouring out of her, one tormenting
wave after another. It was almost more than I could bear. Attempting to comfort
Dani, to help her quell the emotions burning a hole inside her, I knelt down
and wrapped my arms around her shoulders.

“I’m so sorry,
Dani.” She was completely despondent, but she let me hold her this time, and I
rocked her in my arms as she sobbed. “Shhh…” I murmured. I couldn’t help the
tears escaping down my cheeks as her grief consumed me. “Shhh…” I knew better
than to tell her it would be okay—she was inconsolable, and even
I
would be forever changed by what she felt.

As I rocked her,
I brushed stray curls out of her tear-dampened face every so often, trying to
keep my own wild emotions in check. The rest of the group whispered around us.
Some people left to give us our privacy, while others, like Jason, stood nearby,
unwilling to leave Dani in such a distraught state, but also determined to give
us space. His eyes were filled with untamed emotions, but his face remained
blank.

Only hazily could
I feel the sharp concern and unease breaking through the forbidding walls he’d
so meticulously constructed around himself. Dani, it seemed, was the one person
who could breach them.

I closed my eyes
and held her tighter against me. “Shhh…” I whispered, and when my eyes opened,
they briefly met Sam’s. He still lingered in the fading shadows of dawn,
awestruck by the scene that had unfolded. He appeared more frightened than I’d
ever seen him before. Quietly, Tavis nudged Sam’s shoulder, and with a nod
toward their tent, the two of them retreated.

Though her body
continued to tremble in my arms, Dani’s sobs eventually lessened. Leaning away,
I glanced down at her red, swollen face. She didn’t seem to notice the distance
I put between us any more than she registered the chilled air sending goose
bumps over her bare arms; she simply stared past Jason with dull, glazed-over
eyes.

She was numb. It
was as if the life inside her had been emptied, like the way my life before had
been stolen from me, leaving behind an unfillable void. There was nothing I
could say to take away her pain. There was nothing I could do but hold her,
reminding her that she wasn’t alone.

Rubbing my hands
over Dani’s exposed skin to help keep her warm, I glanced at Chris and found
her watching us intently. I nodded at her, silently requesting her help.

Quickly she
approached us, clearly eager to do whatever she could.
“I’ll get something to keep her warm.”

“Dani,” I said,
but she didn’t seem to hear me. Her thoughts were far away. I could see vivid
images of her flying through the star-filled sky with Ray—the wind against her
feathered face, the air crisp and smelling of damp earth. Together, Dani and
the falcon felt free…wild…alive.

“I’m so tired.
Stay with me?” Cam, Dani’s late boyfriend, rasped and pulled the blankets
tighter over himself. They were lying in bed, sick and exhausted.

In a blink,
the scene shifted, and Dani was sitting on top of him, hitting his torso with
her hands and pleading with him to stay alive, to come back to her.

And then, the
little girl appeared, her eyes crazed and a snarl on her face before her body
crumpled into a heap on the ground, fresh blood soaking through the front of
her nightgown.

“It’s not your
fault,” I whispered to her, my eyes flicking to Jason of their own accord.
“None of it is.”
I wondered
if my brother—the love of Dani’s life—had any idea how deep her scars ran, or
if he knew the weight of regret she carried
.

Chris came up
behind us and handed me a sweatshirt, socks, and a pair of shoes for Dani. “We
need to get on the road soon,” she said quietly. Her words served as both a
warning and an explanation for what she was about to do.

Gradually, Dani
seemed to thaw, blinking and peering around at the commotion in our camp
instead of out into nothingness. Her emotions went from nearly uncontainable to
a steady stream of muted turmoil, and I knew we had Chris to thank for that.

While everyone
bustled around camp, packing and readying the horses, I helped Dani change into
her warmer clothes. After pulling her hair back into an unruly ponytail, I
squeezed her shoulder. “I’ll be right back. I need to get dressed.”

Dani’s only
response was a slight dip of her head, and with a final squeeze, I left her with
Chris.

“Is she alright?”
Becca asked as I unzipped our tent and stepped inside.

I shrugged and
hurriedly dressed, tearing through my duffel in search of a pair of jeans and a
clean, long-sleeved shirt. “She’ll be okay eventually, but right now, I just
don’t want her to be alone.”

Becca offered me
a sympathetic smile. “I’ll pack your stuff for you and ask Mase to help me load
it. You should return to Dani.”

Beyond grateful,
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “Thanks, Becca. That would be
awesome.” I searched through my bag, vaguely aware of the fact that I was
making a bigger mess for Becca to clean up, but desperate to find a hair tie.

“Here,” she said,
handing me the one from around her wrist.

“Thanks,” I said
and gathered my hair away from my face.

I unzipped the
tent and stepped back outside. I found Dani and Jason having a stilted
conversation by their tent, and I had to force myself to stop a few yards
behind them so not to intrude.

“—should ride in
the cart with Zoe,” Jason said.

I watched as
Dani’s dulled, green eyes widened infinitesimally. “No,” she said quietly. “I’m
fine.”

“Please, Dani,”
he breathed. His back was to me, but I could hear the plea in his voice.

“No, Jason,” she
said simply and ducked into their tent.

Rubbing the back
of his neck, Jason turned around, glanced at me warily, then headed over to the
horses, where Ben, Grayson, and Carlos were readying them.

I wasn’t
comfortable with Dani riding Wings either, but I knew better than to argue with
her about it. There had been a controlled sort of desperation in her even tone
that I could feel bubbling beneath the surface. She wasn’t going to budge, regardless
of anything anyone said.

I stepped inside
her tent and helped her pack. We were mostly silent, saying no more to one
another than was needed, but I hoped my presence offered her some sort of
comfort all the same. As we finished folding, stuffing, and zipping, Chris came
back to help Dani load her and Jason’s things into the covered wagon.

“Thank you, Zo,”
Dani said, barely meeting my eyes.

I gave her a
quick hug, and her self-loathing and despair felt more acute with the physical
contact. I struggled to keep the emotion out of my voice. “Let me know if you
need anything,” I said quietly.

Dani nodded and
stared blankly ahead as Chris led her toward the wagon.

Unable to hold it
in any longer, I strode away from the group and toward the stream to cry in
privacy. I couldn’t help the emotions blaring in my mind, making me feel raw
and unsettled.

The tears came
willingly, the remnants of Dani’s emotional maelstrom nearly choking me as I
sobbed and gasped for air. Her emotions were too much, and too many. Bracing
myself against a tree beside the creek, I tried to steady myself, worried my
legs might give out if I didn’t. How could she do it? Was this what life was
like for everyone, a convoluted mess of unwanted memories and sorrow and pain
that clung to them, following them around for the rest of their lives? How
could Dani—how could
anyone
—hold it all in, live with so much
wretchedness every day?

“Zoe?” I faintly
registered Tavis’s voice amid my violent sobs. I didn’t bother trying to hide
my distress. I knew it was pointless.

“Zoe, what’s
wrong?” His bucket thudded to the ground, water sloshing over the rim, and he
wrapped his arms around me.

“I can’t feel
like this anymore,” I gasped, not knowing what else to say.

Mumbling
reassurances, Tavis held me tightly against him. I lay my head on his shoulder,
his arms a protective shelter around me, and I focused on the methodical drum
of his heartbeat and the soothing motion of his hand rubbing circles on my
back. It felt good to be in strong arms, to be held.

“I can’t do this
anymore,” I bawled. “I…”

“Shhh…” Tavis
whispered. “It’s okay…you’ll be okay.”

The crunch of
debris underfoot alerted me to the approach of someone behind me, but I didn’t
bother trying to collect myself. I didn’t care who saw me a blubbering mess.

“Tav?” Sam called
out, and his footsteps ceased shortly after. “Zoe?”

“Is she alright?”
Jake asked. Hearing the soft rumble of his voice, I slowly peeled my eyes open.
I wished it were him holding me, but I didn’t move; my cowardice wouldn’t allow
it.

“Do you want me
to get Dani?” Sam asked, and I nearly cried harder at his thoughtfulness.

“No, thank you,
Sam. I’ll be fine,” I managed. “I just need a minute.”

“I don’t mean to
rush you,” Jake said. “But they’re waiting.” A moment later, I heard two sets
of retreating footsteps.

Pulling away from
Tavis, I wiped away the hair and tears that clung to my face. “I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?”
Tavis asked. Until now, I’d been so lost in my emotional downpour that I hadn’t
picked up on Tavis’s concern…and his
other
burgeoning feelings.

“Yeah, I’m fine,”
I said, sobering and stepping further away from him. I didn’t want him to get
the wrong impression. “Thank you, Tavis.” Using my sleeve, I wiped the moisture
from my cheeks again before taking a few much-needed deep breaths. “We should
go,” I said and abruptly started back toward camp.

As I tried to
rally my morale, I scanned the caravan for Jake, but I didn’t see him. When I
spotted Sam, who I was scheduled to drive the cart with today, sitting on
horseback, I grew confused. The expression on my face must have indicated as
much because Sam shrugged before shifting his attention to what I assumed was
Tavis finally walking up behind me.

“I guess I’m
driving alone today,” I said with more animation than I felt before climbing up
into the cart. As I took a few more steadying breaths and tried to ignore the
curious, watchful faces around me, I stared out at our now-abandoned camp. It
amazed me that only an hour ago, the space had been our temporary home—the area
cluttered with a rainbow of tents, people buzzing around and chatting
comfortably. A nomadic lifestyle was all I’d ever known, making it feel normal
to me, but everyone else seemed to have acclimated to it just as well as I had.

The cart creaked
and shook as someone climbed up onto the bench seat beside me. “Hey,” Gabe
said.

He’d been keeping
his distance from me, like most people had been, so I was surprised to see him
sitting only a few inches away. But my surprise was quickly overshadowed by the
barrage of memories that flooded my mind. I saw Jake and Becca in some of them,
and my interest piqued.

“Ah…I know that
look,” he said, a line appearing between his eyebrows. “There are some matters
I’d like to discuss with you, and I’d appreciate it if I could do so without
you rifling through my memories.” He gave me a pointed look. “They’re private.”

My eyes widened.
“It’s not intentional,” I said a little defensively. Although I understood why
everyone felt uncomfortable around me, that didn’t make it less frustrating. “But,
of course, I’ll try.”

Gabe dipped his
head in gratitude. “That’s all I ask…and that if you
accidentally
see
something, you’ll keep it to yourself.” His eyes bored into me, a silent
demand.

I gave him a
quick nod to reassure him and lifted the reins, commanding the cart horses,
Clyde and Percy, into motion. With a jerk, the cart creaked and began to roll
forward. “I guess that makes us riding buddies for the day,” I said, thinking
it was going to be an interesting ride.

“Indeed.” He was
quiet for a moment. “There have been some new developments”—he shot me a
sideways glance—“that could prove very relevant to your current situation.”

Intrigued, I looked
away from the stretch of highway in front of our caravan and up at his knowing
blue eyes. “Developments?”

He nodded. “Of
course, the last thing I want is to get your hopes up only to fail miserably,
but…” He drew the word out, increasing my curiosity. “We don’t really have a
choice. You’re an integral part of the hypothesis I’ll be testing…and more or
less the reason I’ll
be
testing it.” He leaned in a little closer and
whispered, “So let’s hope I don’t fail.”