Only Yesterday (70 page)
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Isaac took a chair and sat down and looked sorrowfully at Reb Alter. Said Reb Alter, You look to me like a man who is grieving. Said Isaac, I see that Reb Alter is lying in bed. God Forbid that he might be sick. Reb Alter smiled and said, Sick I definitely am not. If I were in my hometown I would be sick. How? Hinda Puah, Long-May-SheLive, would call the doctor. The doctor would come and write me a prescription for medicine, and would warn the people in my house to take very good care of me. My sons and daughters and sons-in-law and daughters-in-law would immediately gather together and surround my bed with gloomy faces. This one asks, Father, is the pain lighter? And that one asks, Father, is your illness heavier? And every single one of them indulges me in his own way. Meanwhile, respectable householders come visit me in my illness, and groan about that exquisite one who is wasted in bed, and I groan with them, so they’ll see that they didn’t bother in vain. In the end, I really would
be sick. Now that, Praise God, I dwell in Jerusalem and we don’t have extra money to waste on doctors and medicines, and human beings aren’t scared for me, aside from my spouse, Long-May-SheLive, I am sure that by tomorrow, God willing, I’ll get up healthy. Isn’t that so, Hinda Puah? Said Hinda Puah, If you lived in our hometown, you would live like a human being and eat like a human being and cover yourself like a human being and you wouldn’t drink the bad water and you wouldn’t get sick. Said Reb Alter, Is it nice to talk like that? By virtue of saintly women was the Nation of Israel redeemed from Egypt, and this woman is blessed to dwell in the Land of Israel, in Jerusalem the Holy City, and she says things the mind cannot en-dure. Said Hinda Puah, Is it forbidden to speak the truth? Said Reb Alter, The remnant of the Children of Israel may make a sacrifice and may not talk falsehoods, but the essence of truth is truth from beginning to end, that is, when you truly believe that everything is by His Will, Blessed-Be-He. And for that one needs a good mind, as we find in Daniel, a man greatly loved who prayed, to understand Thy truth. And thus said King David, May he rest in peace, God shall send forth his mercy and his truth. And when we attain the truth that is mercy, that is when we reach the truth of truth, we rejoice at every single thing that comes upon us, especially here in the Land of Is-rael, the source of the truth, as the Bible says, truth shall spring out of the earth, for the truth shall spring out of the earth of the Land of Israel. And the Scripture concludes, and righteousness shall look down from heaven, for all the observation of the Blessed One is righteousness. And so, Itzikl, you came at a good time, and there are certainly good tidings on your tongue. Let us hear and rejoice.
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Said Isaac, I know that Reb Alter’s legs are sick and he cannot come to my wedding, but perhaps Hinda Puah may honor me and come. Said Hinda Puah, A great request you asked. Did you think I wouldn’t come. Even if you don’t invite me, wouldn’t I come. A child solitary as a stone in the field and I would refrain from dancing at his wedding. Itzikl, where is your mind? Weren’t I and your mother, May-we-be-set-apart-for-a-long-and-good-life, close neighbors, and you say
perhaps Hinda Puah may honor me and come. It’s befitting for a po-lite person to speak polite words, but for a thing like this, Itzikl, all words are simply superfluous. Now allow me to bring a few refresh-ments and we’ll congratulate you.
Hinda Puah took out a slice of cake and went to her neighbor to borrow something to drink. Reb Alter put his hand on Isaac’s hands and said to him, You’ve brought me back to life, Itzikl, with good tidings, but I’m sorry I can’t come to your wedding. You know that sometimes I like to talk in rhymes, and if I were at your wedding the Holy-One-Blessed-Be-He would put fine rhymes in my mouth to rejoice the bride and groom. And as for the rhymes the wedding jesters say to the people at the wedding celebration, I’ve got a tremendous argument. On the face of it, that matter, that is, rhymes, comes from the power of the wedding jester, who trains his tongue to speak in rhymes, but that really isn’t so, but all the jester’s power comes from the power of the mating, for rhymes are a kind of mating, for when a word mates with her fellow word, and when the mating succeeds, the rhymes also succeed, and sometimes even ordinary peo-ple who aren’t wedding jesters succeed in entertaining at a wedding celebration with fine rhymes that emerge from the power of mating, which derives from the secret of the divine mating. Therefore, those books of rhetoric made by the transgressors are not nice, since they come from another power of mating, that is from the power of the mating of the Other Side, Heaven Forfend, and there’s no point going on with that, so as not to give them power, God Forbid, from the power of our words, for the essence of all powers comes from the power of the words that a son of Israel brings out of his mouth. So, let’s go back to the essence of the matter. So, Itzikl, you’re getting married at a good and successful time. Hinda Puah already brought a drop to drink. Let’s drink a toast and bless you with a glass, may the mating succeed.
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And when Reb Alter had a drop to drink he took Isaac’s hand and blessed him. And when he completed all the blessings in his mouth, he looked here and there and was searching for some gift to give Isaac
for his wedding day. When he didn’t find anything, he said to Isaac, A custom among the Jews is a law that you give a gift to the groom on his wedding day, and so I have to give you a gift. But I am in your debt, for I should have given you a gift on the day I circumcised you, for we found in Our Father Abraham, May he rest in peace, that the Holy-One-Blessed-Be-He gave him the Land of Israel on the day he circumcised himself. Silver and gold and rubies I don’t have, but I shall tell you a word of wisdom, and the price of wisdom is above ru-bies. And King Solomon, May he rest in peace, also said, For wisdom is better than rubies and all the things that may be desired are not to be compared to it.
It is written in the Torah, And Adam knew Eve his wife, hence the sages of research specified that when Adam took a wife he came to total knowledge. Sixty-two times we found the word knowledge in the Torah. Sixty-two corresponds to the numerical value of the letters of TURN. Turn, my beloved, and be thou like a roe, turns on the man who takes a wife, may he run like a roe to do the will of his Father in Heaven. And it is also written, Know therefore this day, that is, the Torah hints to us that this day, that is, the day you came to knowing, know and consider it in thine heart that the Lord is God.
Our sages of blessed memory said in the Talmud that a bridegroom on his wedding day is forgiven all his sins, and on Yom Kip-pur it is said, For on that day shall the priest make an atonement for you, to cleanse you, that ye may be clean from all your sins. Hence the wedding day is like Yom Kippur, and so on their wedding day, bridegrooms fast and say the confession of Yom Kippur. And it is a great mercy from the Creator May-He-Be-Blessed that He gave the Children of Israel great and festive days like those to forgive them for all our transgressions. And remember and don’t forget, Yom Kippur we have every single year, but not this day. May it be His Will, Itzikl, that He will fulfill in you the Scripture, O, satisfy us early with thy mercy that we may rejoice and be glad all our days. Dawn is called the time of the wedding, when a man’s light begins to shine. If a man does good with his Maker and satisfies his dawn with purification, he is blessed with rejoicing and gladness all his days.
And that I gave you a word from the Torah, Itzikl, I’ll give you a blessing. When the Holy-One-Blessed-Be-He gave the Torah, our betrothed, to the Children of Israel, He gave us forty years of nourishment. May it be His Will that you are blessed with a good livelihood. And don’t worry about the future, for between one day and the next, the Messiah of our righteousness will come and we will be worthy of it, we shall sit with our crowns on our heads and enjoy the splendor of the
Shekhina
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When Isaac departed from Reb Alter and Reb Alter’s wife, he went to Reb Haim Rafael. He found him sitting on the edge of his bed, shaking his head back and forth. Reb Haim Rafael said to him, I’m sitting and contemplating, here I am in Jerusalem and I don’t see a thing, and I may, God Forbid, doubt whether I am in Jerusalem, for a man has nothing but what his eyes see, and I’m blind in my two eyes, may you not have them. It’s true that the holiness of Jerusalem is so great a person can feel it. But who does that apply to? To a per-son with elevated thoughts. But I, all my strength is in the sense of touch, who am I to say I am blessed to feel the holiness. It’s enough for that blind man that he gropes along the walls and doesn’t stum-ble, feels his way with his stick and doesn’t fall. For I could, God For-bid, despair that after all the troubles and roaming around on land and sea, I have here nothing but the walls I grope and the stick I walk with. But behold, how great are the words of the Sages who said, The air of the Land of Israel makes you wise. Perhaps you ask, what wis-dom is here, for even what I came for I didn’t get, for I ascended to Jerusalem to bury my body in her dirt, and this earth hasn’t yet absorbed me. But the air of the Land of Israel really does make you wise, and even I have become wise here, from the force of the Land of Is-rael whose air makes you wise, for the Lord has enlightened the eyes of my understanding and wisdom has come to my heart. That is, that the earth hasn’t absorbed me, even though all my ascendance is to bury myself in her dirt, is a mercy from the Creator May-He-Be-Blessed, for as long as I’m alive I can snatch Commandments and even do Good Deeds, which wouldn’t be the case if I were dead, for
when a man dies he is exempt from all the Commandments in the Torah. And when I sit all by myself and ponder that I dwell in Jerusalem, the Holy City, and I am not blessed to see it, I am still allowed to pray in it and to eat my bread and to say a blessing before and after. The great mercy is from the One Who sees and is not seen, Who gave me days of grace, I who am seen and don’t see. What do you want to say, Isaac? I feel that you want to tell me something. Said Isaac, I came to ask you, Reb Haim Rafael, to come to the day of my celebration. In three days, God willing, I shall get married. Said Reb Haim Rafael, Give me your hand and I shall bless you. Isaac held our his hand and placed it in the hand of the blind Reb Haim Rafael. Reb Haim Rafael shook his head back and forth and blessed him. And when he completed all his blessings, he smiled and said, You know, Isaac, I was at the wedding of your grandfather, may he rest in peace. And even though fifty-seven years have passed, I remember it as if it happened today. Sit down and I’ll tell you.
Here is how it happened. One night, I woke up and was amazed that the whole house was silent and I didn’t hear any movement, not from Father’s bed and not from Mother’s bed. That was amazing, why is the whole house silent? I was scared and I shouted, Mother, Mother. After a while, when I didn’t get an answer, I was terrified, for a mouse could come out of its hole and gnaw my face or a wild animal could come suddenly and tear me to pieces, for I’m blind and I can’t resist a mouse or wild animals, and here I am left alone, and if I shout nobody will hear and come to save me. I took pity on myself and I wept, How can they leave a blind child alone? And when I stopped crying for a little while my heart was filled with anger and rage for my father and mother, who left me and went off. I went back to crying. And when I felt that nobody heard my voice, I decided to take revenge on my father and mother, who had left me alone. I got out of my bed and put on ritual fringes and pants and went outside, and I didn’t know where I wanted to go, but I did know that I wanted to take revenge on father and mother, so that when they came back home they wouldn’t find me. When I was outside, I heard musical instruments. I followed the sound until I came to a house and I heard dancing and music. I started crying again because the
music was so pleasant. I took pity on myself for there were such nice melodies and I was angry at father and mother for not taking me to hear the wonderful melodies. A woman came and said to me, Child, why are you standing with your eyes closed? I didn’t tell her that I was blind, but I told her, Because I want to. That woman said, Open your eyes, child, and don’t be stubborn. I took pity on myself that I was blind and couldn’t open my eyes, and my heart was filled with anger at that woman who didn’t know I was blind. I answered, To spite you, I won’t open my eyes. And as I spoke I burst into such weeping that my voice was heard from one end of the house to the other. Mother heard and rushed over, for she and my father were among the guests. Mother took me in her arms and hugged me and shouted and cried, My chick, oy what got into us? And when she came to, she reproached me for disgracing her and Father and coming barefoot to the wedding. I took pity on myself, it wasn’t bad enough that she left me alone, but she also accused me. And as I took pity on myself, I was angry at her and at my father and at the whole world, that had no pity in their heart for a defective little child. And when I started crying again I didn’t stop. Nothing helped, not my father’s scolding nor my mother’s pleas, nor the cakes they gave me. Finally an old woman came and took me and lay me down on a bed and I fell silent, because I didn’t have any more strength to cry. All that I remember as if it were today, even though fifty-seven years have passed. Now that you came to invite me to your wedding, I am really restored. Sometimes a person asks himself why he is alive in the world, and doesn’t know if they do him a favor to make his days long so that he can repair his deeds. And I hope I may repair at your wedding what I ruined at your grandfather’s wedding.
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At the same time that Isaac was inviting his guests, Rebecca was going round to her neighbors to invite them to the wedding. Some of them promised her they would come and they didn’t, and some of them said plainly, We won’t come. Rebecca didn’t give up her daughter’s celebration and got challahs and wine and sardines, as well as sweets and nuts and brandy so the guests would dip their hands and recite
the Seven Blessings. She also invited a pair of drummers and a flutist to rejoice the bride and groom at their wedding. And before the wedding she dressed her husband in Sabbath clothes, a Caftan and a Shtrayml, and she washed his beard, and took him outside in his bed so he could see the wedding of his only daughter.
Reb Fayesh lay on his bed. Two fat, blue bags hung under his eyes and his congealed eyes saw and didn’t know what they saw. Opposite him stood Reb Haim Rafael, the blind man, peeping with his blind eyes, with a kind of smile bound in them. He was not yet used to the Jerusalemites and groped with his hands and shook his head and smiled his blind smile that scared folks.
Not many guests came to celebrate the happiness of the bride and groom. Hinda Puah didn’t come because of Reb Alter’s illness. The engraver and his wife didn’t come because they went to Giv’at Shaul for the Pidyon Ha-Ben, the Redemption of their daughter’s firstborn son, which took place that day. Efraim the plasterer didn’t come because he was ill, for the night before, when he went to wake the sleepers to serve the Creator, he found the Mughrabi guard removing a shop door to steal the merchandise, the guard jumped on him and dropped him in one of the pits. Unlike the guests who didn’t come, young men and women came to see Reb Fayesh’s daughter marrying a Polak. Whenever a neighbor would appear, Rebecca would hold both her hands to them and say, Come, come, good people, come to the wedding of my only daughter. Before she could pull them in, they dropped off and went on their way. Anyone who saw Rebecca’s grief that day will not see the face of hell.
Isaac and Shifra didn’t notice either those who came to their wedding or those who came to look at them, for Isaac’s mind clung to Shifra and Shifra’s mind clung to Isaac, and there wasn’t any room left in their heart for others. And when they brought him a telegram of congratulations on his marriage from his comrade Rabinovitch, he stuffed it in his pocket and didn’t finish reading it. Things had reached such a pass that he forgot Sonya’s last name. And, before the wedding, when he went to cut his hair and had to wait a little, and the barber gave him a copy of
The Young Laborer
, and he saw there the story of Hemdat and Yael, that Hemdat was attracted to YaelHayyot and Yael Hayyot was attracted to other fellows, Isaac put down the paper and didn’t notice Hemdat’s grief, like a bridegroom who puts down the grief of the whole world because of his joy.
Shifra and Isaac didn’t notice those who came to their wedding or those who came to look and sneer. Nor did they even notice the grief of that wretched Rebecca, who was sorry that her daughter’s wedding was without joy and without honor, and she said to herself, What is this and why did God do this to me. But in the end, the Lord took pity on her and gave her joy and honor before all her neighbors.
How? In those days, a great Rabbi ascended to Jerusalem from the land of Hungary, a holy man of God, a genius and a Saint, and great as his genius was the goodness of his heart and his righteousness. That tale reached his ears, and he recalled that once, in his youth, he had come to the house of Reb Moyshe Amram, who proposed a match for him with his daughter, and he recalled all the honor Reb Moyshe Amram had paid him. And like all the Saints and Hasids who are honest in their heart, who remember the good and don’t remember the bad, that Saint remembered the goodness of Reb Moyshe Amram. He told his attendant, I shall go and repay a kindness with the daughter of one who was good to me. He dressed in his Sabbath clothes and went to Reb Fayesh. And anyone who saw that Saint walking went with him. Soon he was accompanied by scholars and practical people and they brought bread and wine and meat and fish and other delicacies. They made a big feast and the Rabbi recited the Seven Blessings. The whole house was filled with joy and rejoicing and all the neighbors came, men and women and children, to rejoice in the celebration of the bride and groom, until the house couldn’t hold all those who came.