One Step Too Close - Coffin Nails MC Louisiana (Gay Biker Stepbrother Romance) (Sex & Mayhem Book 6) (32 page)

Jed gave him a short
kiss and slid his hand between Ryder’s thighs. “Do I get my dessert now? I’ve
waited so many years for this.”

Ryder flushed his mouth
with the soda and touched Jed’s cheek, stopping to breathe. “What do you want?”
he asked, even though he knew already. He just wanted Jed to say it.

Jed didn’t shy away from
Ryder’s gaze when he kneeled in front of Ryder, between his legs. “I want to
suck your cock dry. I want you to fuck my mouth with it.” He licked his lips
and unbuckled Ryder’s belt.

Ryder smiled and petted
the top of Jed’s head. He loved Jed’s mouth on his dick, his tongue curling
around the head, the glorious suction. “It’s all yours. Every inch.”

Jed supported his weight
on Ryder’s thighs, and raised himself to kiss Ryder’s lips. “You’re the sexiest
man I’ve ever known,” he said before unzipping Ryder’s jeans.

Ryder smiled when his
cock emerged, making Jed’s eyes shine.

Ryder

Ryder looked up at the
apartment building in front of him. It was dark outside, and even though he
didn’t know which window belonged to Jess, he was on pins and needles. His
brothers were offering silent support, but he still wasn’t ready to go and just
looked the five-story building up and down as he stood in the parking lot
below.

All five of them had parked
their bikes in front of the building, but his friends had gone to a diner
across the street, leaving Ryder to his own thoughts and decisions. Or at least
that would be the case once he entered. For now, he could sense four pairs of
eyes on his back. Five if he were to include the policeman down the street.

He took a few quick
steps and rushed inside the open staircase. The corridors ran on the outer side
of the building and were uncovered, resembling public balconies and providing
easy access to the apartments to anyone. Beaumont, Texas, was a long way from
home, but Ryder had made sure to place it on the route of their first small
weapon run. He couldn’t miss this opportunity, and if Jess refused to talk on
the phone, he’d make her talk in person. Even Jo was supportive since she’d given
him her sister’s new address.

He eventually found the
right door on the third floor, and as he stood in front of it, watching the
fake wood illuminated by a small lamp, his stomach clenched with what felt like
icy goo. He knew he wanted to know the truth, but it was just so hard. Jess, he
wasn‘t really sure he wanted to see now. He wasn’t ready. Any of the options he
could hear were making him equally uncomfortable, and yet he was here. This was
something he needed to do.

His gaze fell on the
buzzer, and for a moment, he hovered his hand over it, considering his options.
In the end, he took out the necessary equipment to open a simple lock such as
the one in front of him. There was light shining through the blinds in the
window next to the door, so someone was probably in. He didn’t want to risk her
causing a fuss outside the door. Not to mention the risk of meeting the elusive
boyfriend Jo didn’t seem to believe existed.

Ryder used to pick locks
quite a lot back in the day, and so he managed to unlock the door without much
trouble. After living with him for three years, Jess should have really known
better when it came to locks. He repeatedly told her how easy it was to go
through something like this. If he wanted, he could open it with a piece of wire
and nothing else. And when he actually pressed on the handle and peeked in, it
turned out Jess hadn’t even put on a chain. There was sound coming from the
inside, and he exhaled, slipping into the dark hallway. Coats and sweaters
littered the wall, and from where he was standing, he spotted just three doors,
one of which was partially open. A bit of a moldy aroma in the air made him
sneer, and he could easily see some cracks in the plaster. Luxurious this place
wasn’t, but it was mostly tidy, as Jess liked it.

The sound of a TV masked
his quiet steps well, and he just hoped she wasn’t cuddled up on the sofa with
the new guy, because he couldn’t vouch for himself not to flip out if that was
the case. But as he slowly sneaked through the corridor and into the living
room, he saw only the back of Jess’s head sticking out from behind the sofa.
She was watching her favorite fantasy TV show. Yet another thing they could
never agree on.

When an old piece of
wood creaked in the floor, Jess’s head snapped back, and her eyes went wide. It
had to be her day off, because she had no makeup on, and her hair was pulled up
into a messy bun, a style he always liked. He cringed at the comparison, but he
also liked it on Jed.

“Ryder! What are you
doing here? What the hell? Did you break in? This is so not on!” She got up and
took a step back, and Ryder stopped breathing. Even under the loose T-shirt,
her pregnancy was obvious. It had to be five or even six months now, and
watching the rounded belly stung like a strike to the face.

“Really? What would you
do if I refused to answer
your
fucking messages?” he asked, folding his
arms on his chest. But seeing how nervous he made her, he let them drop. He
didn’t want to scare a pregnant woman. “Relax. I’ll be out of here soon.”

The way she took a step
back, wide-eyed, only reminded him of his own size. Chicks had the hots for
him, and he intimidated guys, but he knew he could come off as more threatening
than he’d like.

“Maybe I didn’t
want
to
answer them. Have you thought of that?”

“Well, you took off with
my
kid!” It spewed out of his mouth unwanted, but there was no way to
take it back, and so Ryder shook his head, annoyed with himself.

Jess frowned, and hugged
her belly. “Who told you this?”

Ryder took a deep breath
through his clenched windpipe, and all of a sudden, there were colorful dots
dancing in front of his eyes. “Oh, fuck... it’s true?”

Jess looked away, and
her face was becoming redder by the second. “You coming here now is so unfair!”

“Is it? And you robbing
me of my kid isn’t?” hissed Ryder, stepping closer. He couldn’t believe she’d
do this to him. “So there really is no other guy?”

She rubbed her eyes, and
despite his anger, Ryder wanted to give her a hug. He’d be a father. “There is
no other guy. But what’s not fair is bringing up a child with a dad who will
end up in prison sooner or later. I can’t have that in my life.”

Ryder gritted his teeth.
“Well, I’m the same guy you chose when we met. Nothing changed. It’s you who
suddenly decided to stick a knife in my heart!”

Jess swallowed loudly.
“I’m sorry. We met three years ago. When you put your hands on me, I thought I
wanted to be with you forever, but really getting to know what your lifestyle
is about was different…”

“So you thought it would
be okay to rob me of my own blood? Raise it without a daddy...” He cringed at
the genderless pronoun. “Do you know what it is yet?” he asked in a quieter
voice, holding on to a chair next to him as his knees softened.

Jess took a step closer,
and took his hand in her small one. It felt so different and alien after
experiencing Jed’s touch. “It’s a boy. And if you left the club, I would be
willing to give us another shot. We could be a real family.”

She was ripping little
pieces off Ryder’s still beating heart. He’d never leave the club. Why would
this be a condition, and after three years together at that. He shook his head.
“You know I can’t do that,” he said but didn’t let go of her hand. Maybe she’d
let him touch her stomach? It was
his
little boy hidden inside that
bump, and he hadn’t been there to watch him grow or bring his mom ice cream
from the gas station at 2:00 a.m. “Do you have a name for him?”

Jess wiped her cheek,
and only now Ryder noticed that there were tears welling up in her eyes. “Tony,
after my granddad,” she said weakly. “You don’t know just how much I want to
kiss you now. But you can’t just barge in here. All I want is to give him a
good life, away from crime.”

Ryder shook his head as
bile rose up his throat. “No, you don’t want to kiss me.
You don’t love me.
If you did, you’d have never done what you did.”

Jess pulled her hand
away and spread her arms. “So now you know. There’s no other guy. It’s your
baby. And I don’t want him to grow up hanging out at the club.”

Ryder snorted bitterly.
How dare she judge him and his brothers? “You seemed perfectly fine with it for
a long time.”

“You think this is easy
for me? I’m trying to do what’s right for my child.” There it was, that
self-righteous voice Ryder hated so much. Jed never talked to him like this.
Jed understood him and would never betray him as she did. And now that Ryder
looked at Jess, while he still saw her as beautiful and had warm feelings for
her, they were so dimmed, and he found himself wanting to tell Jed what
happened here. Tell him all about this.

“If you did what’s right
for your child you wouldn’t be here, all alone. What if you fall down? What if
you start giving birth? Who’s gonna take you to the hospital?” Ryder asked,
increasingly angry with her.

Those questions must
have finally hit home, because she curled her shoulders and hugged herself,
just standing there instead of snapping back with an answer. She wasn’t stupid,
she had to know they were valid questions.

Ryder approached her
again. “We will not be back together, and we will not marry,” he said, needing
to make that clear. “But I will be there when my son is born, and I will also
give him a name. And I will be present in his life, even if I have to obtain an
order for a paternity test.”

Jess wiped away a few
more tears. “Maybe it would be more convenient if I moved back home, at least
until the baby is born. I don’t have anyone here,” her voice trembled at the
last words. This was typical Jess: acting without a plan. That’s how she ended
up moving into an apartment with shitty locks.

“Yes. I think that would
be for the best. You don’t have to be a part of the club life anymore, if
that’s what you want. I will not force you into that, but you can come back.
Your sister misses you.”

Despite the wall that
seemed to stand between them, Jess made a few quick steps and curled under
Ryder’s arm, hugging him so hard he could feel the belly with his child inside
against his hip.

“Does he kick?” he asked
quietly and slowly lowered his hand to the bump. It was bigger than he had
expected on a woman as small as Jess.

Jess sniffed and looked
up at him, backing away slightly to look down between them. “Not really, he’s
just shifting in there. He’s a good boy. Unlike his daddy.”

Ryder laughed and
massaged the round belly gently, hoping to feel something, but no movement
came. Maybe Tony was shy. “His daddy’s a good boy, too. Why else would his
mommy be with him for such a long time? Relax.”

She took a deep breath
and looked to his chest. “VP? Things are moving fast, huh?”

Ryder nodded. “I’m a
serious businessman now. I’m gonna be hiring myself out as a helicopter pilot.”

Jess blinked, and Ryder
was satisfied to see the surprise on her face. “Oh. That’s really good
actually. I— I’m sorry for this mess, Ryder. I panicked. And then you went to
jail… I couldn’t take it.”

He exhaled, but despite
his best intentions, he couldn’t bring himself to feel sorry for her. Not after
she’d hurt him so badly. “Is there something you need? Any help with the move?”

Jess nodded. “I don’t
even know where to begin. I don’t have so much stuff, but I’d have to hire a
van or something. If I’m to move soon, I would need help with that.”

He nodded. “Hire it, and
I’ll pay,” he said, even though he knew it would eat up a good chunk of his
savings. But he’d do that for his son and his mom. “Anything else... just
contact me about it. I’m doing some jobs on the road right now, but we could
surely arrange any help you’d need. I don’t want you carrying anything heavy.”

Jess looked up at him,
seeming so strangely tiny in comparison to Jed. And Ryder loved how chunky and
strong Jed was. “Did you ever love me?” she asked, bringing him into a crash
landing from his fantasy world.

Ryder gave her a slight
smile. “I did, but I couldn’t ever trust you after this,” he said, even though
deep down he knew that if Jed betrayed him, Ryder would still rip his heart out
trying to get him back. But he would not do that for Jess. He supposed there
were degrees to the love one could feel.

“Do you want to stay for
dinner or something?” she asked, but it was his cue to go. The last thing he
wanted was to wake up some old feelings in her, and so he shook his head.

“No, I think it’s best
if I leave.” He cleared his throat and looked at the dragon floating in the
middle of the television screen. “I hope you can rewind that.”

She nodded and took
another step back. “See you in a few days, I suppose…”

“Take good care of Tony
until then,” he said, backing away. He wasn’t sure how to say good-bye to her,
because right now, all he wanted was to pet her stomach.

He eventually left the
apartment, shutting the door behind himself, and sped down the corridor, then
all the way to the first floor. He was cold and hot at the same time as he
crossed the street to get to the diner where all his friends were waiting. He
could see their faces turn his way through the windows, and that didn’t make
him feel any more lost. He was going to be a father.

Jed was the first to get
up and rush to the exit, so they met a few steps outside the diner, and the
question didn’t need to be spoken, it was written all over Jed’s tense face.

Ryder took a deep
breath, staring down at him, feeling weightless. “You’re gonna be an uncle.”

“Oh, wow. Really?” Jed
asked, but he didn’t look as ecstatic as Ryder would have liked him to be. He
probably thought the baby would once again meddle with their road trip plans.
Or that Ryder would take the kid on camping trips instead of hitting the road
with Jed. “Congratulations,” he added breathlessly, and hugged Ryder tightly.
At least in these circumstances, no one would find the embrace strange. Ryder
savored every second of it, watching the guys get to their feet inside the
diner. They all ran outside and circled them like a flock of very loud parrots.