One Special Christmas & Home for the Holidays (12 page)

“Eric? Are you still there?” his mother prompted.

“Yes.”

“So did something happen between you two to upset her?”

“I haven't even talked to her all week, Mom.”

“Why not?”

“I hardly know her.”

“Well, I'd hoped you'd be trying to remedy that. Women like Kate don't come along very often, you know. She's a wonderful person.”

“She's also still in love with her husband.”

“Of course she is. I'm sure she always will be. Love like that doesn't die, Eric.” His mother's voice suddenly grew subdued and sad, and his heart contracted in sympathy—and in shared loss. His father's death had been extremely hard on both of them, leaving a gap that could never be filled. “But that doesn't mean you can't ever love anyone else. And I just thought…” Her voice trailed off.

Eric sighed. He knew what she thought—that he needed to find someone new. But aside from the fact that he still considered himself married, there were other pitfalls to a relationship: namely, the demands of his profession.

“That's not an option, Mom,” he said gently but firmly.

“But Eric, you've been divorced for almost five years,” she argued. “Cindy is remarried. It doesn't seem right for you to be alone. You should have a wife and family.”

“I tried that once. It didn't work.”

There was a brief hesitation before she quietly declared, “Maybe it was just the wrong woman.”

Eric's eyebrows rose in surprise. Though his mother
was usually outspoken in her opinion, she'd never before come this close to saying what he'd always suspected she felt about his marriage: that he and Cindy had not been a good match.

“Maybe,” he admitted. “But it's too late now for second-guessing.”

Her sigh came clearly over the wire. “Sometimes I think you're too hard on yourself, Eric. I'm sure the Lord doesn't expect you to spend the rest of your life alone when the divorce wasn't even your fault. As I recall, Cindy was the one who wanted out. You were willing to work at it.”

“I'm not blameless, Mom. I have a demanding career, and it got in the way of our relationship. Marriage and medicine just don't seem to mix.”

“That's nonsense,” she declared briskly. “Most doctors are married and they manage just fine. Look at Frank.”

“Well, maybe he knows some secret I don't.”

“There's no secret, Eric. It just takes love and understanding on both sides.”

“I can't debate that with you, Mom. All I know is that it didn't work for me. And even if I was free, I'm not willing to take that risk again. Besides, Kate obviously isn't interested. So let it rest. It's probably for the best.”

Eric knew his mother wasn't happy with his response. She wanted him to have another chance at love. And as he hung up the receiver, he had to admit that he wanted that, too. Especially now. The hours he'd spent in Kate's company had given him a glimpse of the life he might have had with the right woman. But his error in judgment had cost him dearly, he thought with a disheartened sigh. And he was still paying the price.

 

Kate read the thermometer gauge worriedly. One hundred and two.

“I don't feel good, Mommy,” Sarah whimpered.

Kate smoothed the hair from her daughter's damp forehead with a slightly unsteady hand. “I know, honey. I'm going to call Dr. Eric right now. You just lie here and be very quiet, okay?”

Kate tucked the blankets around Sarah, then headed for the phone to call Eric's exchange. She also spoke with Anna to let her know she was keeping Sarah home tomorrow.

“It's probably just a flu bug, Kate,” the older woman reassured her. “Don't worry too much. Children get these things, you know. They bounce back quickly. When did she get sick?”

“A couple of hours ago, right before dinner. It just came on suddenly. She was fine this morning and had a great time at Sunday school.”

“Oh, you must have gone to the later service, then. Eric was concerned when we didn't see you at church.”

Was he? Kate wondered with a wistfulness that surprised—and disconcerted—her as she rang off. Deep inside she'd like to think his concern was prompted by more than polite consideration. After all, they'd spent two very enjoyable social evenings together. And she liked him. A lot. Too much, maybe, because the feelings he awakened in her made her feel disloyal to Jack. And she wasn't sure how to deal with that. But since he seemed to be putting a distance between them, it apparently wasn't something she needed to worry about, she reminded herself firmly.

But he wasn't putting distance between them today,
Kate realized when she opened the door forty-five minutes later and found Eric. Her eyes widened as she noted the well-worn jeans that clung to his long, lean legs and the blue cotton shirt with rolled-up sleeves, open at the neck. Kate had never seen him dressed so informally before, and the effect was…well, stunning. In this rugged clothing, he literally took her breath away. She clung to the edge of the door and stared at him.

“Kate? Are you okay?”

Okay? No, she wasn't okay. In fact, her hand on the edge of the door was trembling. Which was ridiculous! She tried to get a grip. She barely knew this man, she reminded herself. They were practically strangers. Yes, he was handsome. Yes, he was nice. Yes, she found herself attracted to him at some basic level that she didn't understand. But he wasn't in the market for romance, and neither was she. She needed to remember that. She drew a shaky breath and somehow found her voice.

“Yes. I'm fine. But Sarah's not.”

“That's why I'm here.”

He held up his black bag, which had somehow escaped Kate's notice. Her gaze had gotten stuck on his broad shoulders and muscular chest. “A house call?” she said in surprise, her voice slightly breathless.

He smiled and shrugged. “Mom said you sounded really worried.”

Kate stepped aside and motioned him in. “I am. But I didn't expect you to come over. It's your day off, isn't it? The answering service said Frank was taking the calls this weekend.”

“He is. But I told him I'd handle this one.”

“Why? I mean, you don't do this for all your patients, do you?”

He gazed down at her, and the blue of his eyes seemed to intensify. “No, Kate, I don't.”

She stared at him, and her mouth suddenly went dry. He'd answered her second question, but not her first. Which was probably just as well, because she wasn't ready to deal with the answer she might get. At least, not yet. Nervously she tucked her hair behind her ear and looked away. “Well, I—I appreciate it, Eric. Sarah's back here.”

Eric followed as she led the way down the short hallway. He was glad she hadn't pressed for an answer to her first question, because he wasn't sure himself why he had come. There had been no need to make a house call. Frank could easily have dealt with the situation by phone. But he'd experienced such a letdown when he didn't see Kate in church this morning that he'd grasped at the first excuse to see her. It wasn't wise, of course. But when it came to her, his heart seemed more in control of his actions than his mind was. Which was a problem he needed to address—and soon.

“Dr. Eric came to see you, honey.”

Eric smiled at Sarah as he followed Kate into the charmingly decorated little girl's room and sat down on the bed beside his patient. “Hello, Sarah. I heard you were sick.”

“Uh-huh. I threw up.”

He glanced at Kate.

She nodded. “Twice in the last hour. And her temperature is still a hundred and two.”

“Well, that doesn't sound like much fun.” He snapped his bag open as he spoke. “I'd better take a look. Is that all right with you, Sarah?”

“I guess so. You aren't going to give me a shot, are you?”

He chuckled. “Not today. I'm just going to listen to your heart and look in your ears and check out those tonsils.”

He conversed easily with Sarah while he did a quick exam. When he finished he removed the stethoscope from around his neck and placed it back in his bag.

“Well, little lady, I think you have the flu. But you know what? You should feel a whole lot better by tomorrow. In the meantime, I want you to drink a lot of soda and water and juice and take aspirin whenever your mom gives them to you. Okay?”

“Okay.”

He turned to Kate. “Do you have any white soda?”

She nodded. “I'll get some—and the aspirin.”

As Kate disappeared down the hall, he turned back to find Sarah studying him quite seriously. “Dr. Eric, do you have a little girl of your own?” she asked suddenly.

A pang of regret ricocheted through him, almost painful in its intensity, but he managed to smile. “No.”

“Do you wish you had a little girl?”

“Sometimes.”

“Sometimes I wish I had a daddy, too.” She pointed to a picture of Jack on her bedside table. “He was my daddy. Mommy says he watches out for me from heaven now, but I wish I had a daddy who could hold me in his lap and tell me stories.”

“I wish you did, too, Sarah.” Eric reached over and smoothed the hair back from her flushed face as his throat constricted. If everything had gone the way he'd planned, he would have his own children right now, and a wife who loved him. But he'd never have the former. Nor had he ever had the latter, he thought sadly. Through the years he had gradually come to realize that Cindy
had never really loved him—not in the fullest sense of that word. It had been a hard thing to accept. It still was.

“Maybe you could be my daddy,” Sarah said brightly. “Then you could read me stories at night and—”

“Sarah!”

Eric turned to find Kate in the doorway, her face flushed.

“What's wrong, Mommy?” Sarah asked innocently, her eyes wide.

Eric watched silently as Kate drew a deep breath. “Nothing's wrong, honey. But you need to drink your soda so you can go to sleep. Then you'll be all better tomorrow, just like Dr. Eric said.”

Eric stood as Kate moved into the room. She avoided his eyes, and bright spots of pink still burned on each cheek.

“I'll let myself out,” he said quietly.

“No.” She looked up at him, obviously still embarrassed by Sarah's remark, though good manners took precedence. “I put the kettle on. Please stay and have a cup of tea or coffee. And some cake. It's the least I can do after you came over here on your day off.”

He hesitated, then nodded. “All right. I'll wait for you in the living room.”

Kate watched him leave, then turned back to Sarah and helped her sit up enough to drink the soda.

“Are you mad, Mommy?” Sarah asked in a small voice.

“No, honey. Of course not.”

“You seemed mad when you came back in the room.”

Kate shook her head. “I wasn't mad, Sarah. I heard what you and Dr. Eric were talking about, and I just got
sad for a minute because your daddy isn't here with us. He loved you very much, honey. Before you were born we used to plan all the things the three of us would do together. I'm just very sorry he can't be here to do them with us.” Kate picked up the photo from the bedside table and gently traced Jack's face with her finger. “Don't ever forget how much he loved you, Sarah. He's part of you. See? You have his eyes. And you have that little dimple in your cheek, just like he had. So part of Daddy will always be with us in you.”

Sarah studied the photo for a moment. “He was pretty, wasn't he, Mommy?”

Kate blinked to clear the sudden film of moisture in her eyes. “Yes, Sarah. He was very pretty.”

“Do you think he misses us up in heaven?”

“I'm sure he does.”

“But he can't come back, can he, Mommy?”

“No, honey.”

“Do you think he would be mad if I got a new daddy sometime? Just for while I'm down here?”

Would he? Kate wondered, as she replaced the photo. She'd never thought of it quite that way. And in that context, she knew the answer. Jack wouldn't want Sarah to grow up without the influence of a kind, caring father in her life. They had always talked about how they wanted her to experience all the joys of a real family—two loving parents and at least a sibling or two. Jack would still want that, even if he couldn't be the one to provide it.

“No, Sarah,” Kate replied slowly. “I don't think he'd mind. Your daddy would want you to have a father.”

“But how would I get one?” Sarah asked, clearly puzzled.

“Well, I would have to get married again.”

“Would you do that, Mommy?”

“I don't know, honey. Your daddy was a very special man. It would be hard to find someone like him again.”

“Is Dr. Eric like him?”

Kate glanced toward the bedroom door and dropped her voice. “I just met Dr. Eric, honey. I don't know him well enough to answer that question.”

Sarah scooted down in the bed and pulled the covers up to her chin. Already her eyes were drifting closed. “Well, then I think you should get to know him better,” she declared sleepily.

Kate adjusted the covers, then reached over and touched the photo of Jack, her gaze troubled. For several long moments she just sat there. She didn't want to do anything that would diminish the love they had shared. It was a beautiful thing, and she would always treasure it in her heart. But it was only a memory now. And memories could only sustain one for so long.

Kate sighed as she reached over and turned off the light. Even if she was ready to move on—and she wasn't convinced that she was—Eric wasn't available. He'd made that eminently clear. In his mind, he still had a wife. And after his first disastrous marriage, he truly believed that medicine and marriage didn't mix. So, if and when she decided to consider romance again, she'd have to look elsewhere.

Except, for some strange reason that plan held no appeal.