Once You'Ve Touched the Heart (11 page)

“Looked like a lot of hand holding to me.”

“It was a rough day.”

“That’s all?”

“Yep, that’s all.”

“Tracy, you know I love you like a sister, and I have never steered you wrong.”

“Bullshit,” Tracy replied with laughing.

“Okay, okay, okay, once or twice,” Ashley said, and put her hand up, “but I was still trying to look out for you.”

“Okay, I give you that. But?” Tracy said, waiting for Ashley to continue.

“JD’s my brother and I love him, but you know he’s a player. He has not had one serious relationship since Vanessa, way back when.”

“Okay.” Tracy raised her eyebrow. “And?”

“You are a very serious type person and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Hurt by who?”

“It’s whom, not who,” Ashley stated.

“Oh, now you are giving me English lessons?”

“No, I’m just saying, I did not want you to misread JD’s attention to you yesterday. I know how you used to feel about him,” Ashley said, as she eyed Tracy over her coffee cup.

“Ashley, I might be a little naïve, but I’m not crazy. I know there is no way Jeffrey would even be remotely interested in me. Please, I don’t have what it takes to be on the front of anybody’s magazine cover and that’s what he goes for. So don’t worry about that, I have not lost my senses, yet. I know my place; Cynthia taught me well.”

Ashley got up.
Yep, she still has feelings for him.
She smiled to herself. “Well, that’s not how I meant it, but okay.” Ashley shrugged her shoulders. “I just want to make sure you are not setting yourself up for disappointment like you have a tendency to do.”

Tracy smiled. “Thanks for looking out, but I’m straight on this one.” When Ashley left, Tracy closed her eyes and thought,
okay, remember your place, get that man out of your head, NOW
….

Ashley went to her office called her mom. “Mom, I tried to feel Tracy out. She has such a complex about JD. Getting them together is not going to happen without our intervention.”

“Okay, I’m in honey, just tell me what to do,” Martha replied.

“Well, I’ll lay the groundwork, you just follow my lead.”

♥

“Good job today,” Calvin commented as JD joined him at Maxi’s bar. “You managed to get Gavin his ‘kudos’ from the governor, satisfy the AG and Day. That’s a hell of a job for one day.”

“Jack straight,” JD said to the bartender.

“Coming up, JD.”

“Thanks, man. I appreciate you listening last night. I needed a sounding board,” JD stated as he took his drink. “You got a minute or do you have plans with Jackie?” JD motioned to Calvin to take a booth.

“Yeah, what’s up?” Calvin asked as they took a seat.

He hesitated. “Do you love Jackie?”

Laughing, Calvin responded, “Man, why are you asking me some shit like that,” ready to give the typical male response.

“Well, do you?”

Seeing JD was serious, Calvin replied, “Yeah, but I will take the Fifth if you tell her. Why you ask?”

“How do you know?”

“I am not sure what you mean.”

“How do you know it’s love and not lust?” JD clarified. “I mean, there are millions of women out there. What is it about this one that makes you want to be with just her?”

Calvin smiled. JD needed guidance. He had not allowed any women to get close to him. Calvin thought at one time Vanessa had penetrated that thick skin of his, but that ended. Now, apparently someone was making him think of a one-on-one again. The last thing Calvin wanted to do was to hand him that bullshit most men tell other men.

“Well, you’re right; there are a lot of women out there. But I haven’t found one, other than Jackie, that makes me want to go home every night,” Calvin confessed.

If this was the way he could help JD experience what he has with Jackie, he would break the male code, tell him the real deal.

“It doesn’t matter what we do or where we go. I just want to be wherever she is. There were times when we had plans to go out to dinner or to one of Carolyn’s functions, but instead we stayed home, alone, and loved it. I enjoy taking the time to get to know her; hearing about her day and all the crazy shit Carolyn is up to. It’s the craziest thing.” Calvin laughed. “All hell can break loose at work. But when I go home, Jackie knows just what to say or do to calm me down.”

As if a second thought just hit him, Calvin added, “Oh man, when it comes to sex, you haven’t felt anything until you make love to a woman you actually love and she loves you back. There’s
nothing like it. It doesn’t matter if it’s a ‘I got to have it now on top of the kitchen table’ or a session you planned with the candles and shit.”

He hesitated for a moment. “I would give my right arm for Jackie if she asked. But she would never ask. Because she loves me with the same intensity that I love her and that’s what makes it good.” Calvin stopped.

JD thought for a moment and smiled at his friend’s happiness. “What happens when she leaves? How do you cope with that?”

“What makes you think she’s going to leave?”

“They always do,” JD responded, “one way or another. Look at Vanessa. I loved Vanessa; she left. Look at Mama. She loved Daddy with all her heart and he left.”

In all the years Calvin had known JD it had never dawned on him JD was afraid of being abandoned.

“Your dad did not abandon you, JD, or your mother.”

JD flinched.

“As for Vanessa, well let’s examine that, JD,” Calvin said. “Did you really love Vanessa, I mean really? If Tracy had been available to you back then, Vanessa would have been history long before she actually was.”

JD looked at Calvin.

“Yeah, I knew you had a little thing for Tracy back then,” Calvin stated. “Apparently it was deep enough that you still feel it now, six years later. So I ask you again, did you really love Vanessa or was she just a convenience?” Calvin sipped his drink.

“As for your mom,” Calvin said with a chuckle, “she has a smile on her face every time I see her. It’s the same smile she had when we were little and your dad came home from work. You should ask her why she’s still smiling. Oh, just so you know, I don’t worry about if or when Jackie may leave. I enjoy having her in my life one day at a time. If she leaves, at least I can say, I know what it felt like to be truly in love.”

Calvin watched JD for a moment. He knew his reconnection with Tracy was what prompted this conversation. He remembered JD struggling with getting Tracy off his mind and using Vanessa to do it. Calvin also knew Carolyn would go after Tracy if JD started seeing her. Carolyn could be a devious bitch.

“JD,” Calvin started, “hear me out on this. I’m going to say this with all the respect and love a man can have for a brother, and you know I’m down with you for whatever, have been since kindergarten.” Calvin wanted to be sure he said this right. “I know you. Been through many women with you. Hell, shared one or two with you. Tracy isn’t the type to understand the hit-and-run game that men play. She’s the type you love and cherish, always. When she loves, she loves totally. When she trusts, if she trusts, she trusts totally. The two are one in the same for her. Don’t play with her emotions. Remember what this girl has been through. She’s been on her own all her life, except for her brother, and now he’s gone. Tracy does not need you to come in, hit it and leave; she doesn’t deserve that. Don’t play with her; be sure of your intentions.”

JD was glad Calvin was his friend. Whether he wanted to hear it or not, Calvin would always give him a straight answer. “I’m not going to hurt Tracy. To be
honest, she scares the hell out of me.” JD chuckled, and then finished his drink. “I’m glad you and Jackie have each other. Don’t let Carolyn or anyone else mess you up. Speaking of Carolyn, I’m running late. I’ll check you later.”

Calvin watched as JD left. He pulled out his cell and dialed. “Hey baby, what are
you doing?”

♥

Tracy was still in her office integrating the notes from the morning meeting into the Brooks file. As she keyed the notes into the computer, she remembered the conversation with James Brooks.
Why would a man like that be interested in her?
Tracy wondered.

James Brooks was an accomplished man. At the age of 30, he was named the Metropolitan Area Business Man of the Year. He had written several articles on management in the future. Every agency he headed was rated number one or two in the state for employee satisfaction. This was the fourth agency a sitting governor had commissioned him to head. Unfortunately, it was one of the largest in the state and had poor morale issues. He was placed there to clean up the agency, but had been met with a lot of resistance.

Tracy pulled out his bio: James Avery Brooks; age, 35; Harvard Business, Master’s in Public Administration; he married at the age of 26 to his college sweetheart, divorced five years later. They had one child, a son, James Jr., 6 years old.

Tracy smiled looking at the picture of James that accompanied the bio.
The picture does not do him justice
, she thought. Maybe this could be the person to get her mind off Jeffrey. She was 24 years old now. She had put up a shield when she was 19 and had never let anyone in. It didn’t appear anything would ever happen with Jeffrey. Cynthia had always said he was out of her league.

Tracy remembered when she and Ashley returned to campus from that spring break. Cynthia came by the room to see Tracy, which should have been her warning.

“What in the hell made you think you could go after JD Harrison?” Cynthia yelled at her.

A little startled, Tracy asked, “What are you talking about, Cynthia?”

“I saw you two in the sunroom at the club the other night.”

“There wasn’t anything to it, don’t sweat it, Cynthia.” Tracy turned her back and continued working.

“You do realize you are not his type. I mean, you don’t have anything to offer a man like him. You don’t even look the part and you’re from the wrong side of the tracks, if you know what I mean. Just because they let you in their house don’t mean you get to play with the big boys.”

“I get it, Cynthia. You don’t have to keep going on about it. I get it, okay,” Tracy yelled.

“Oh, don’t tell me your feelings are hurt—what did you expect? JD Harrison is the cream of the crop, girl. You can’t even clean the bottom of his shoes. I’m just trying to keep your dumb ass from getting hurt. Make sure you remember that,” Cynthia said as she left the room.

Tracy closed the bio on James Brooks.
Cynthia would probably say the same thing about Brooks
, She thought, smiling to herself. When she looked up, James Brooks, all 6 feet 2, 220 pounds of him, was standing in her office doorway.

“Good evening, you’re working late. Now why doesn’t that surprise me?” James smiled. “Do you always leave your door unlocked after hours?”

“I guess the receptionist did not lock it when she left this evening,” Tracy replied, surprised. “Is there something you need, Mr. Brooks?”

He smiled. “That’s a loaded question, Ms. Washington. And please call me James.”

The picture really did not do him justice
. She smiled. “Mr. Brooks, it is a little late and I was just about to leave. Was there something in particular that brought you here?”

“Yes, your smile.”

Tracy sat back in her seat, not sure what to say.

“Before you say anything, hear me out,” James said as he took a seat. “It’s not in my nature to pursue a woman. I don’t have the time for it. Before you walked in my office today I was curious, to say the least. Your proposal impressed me and that’s not easy to do. That’s why I asked to meet with you. When you walked into my office today, I was totally knocked off my game. You were a very pleasant surprise.” He sat forward. “All I’m asking for is a chance to get to know you a little better, nothing more.”

Tracy blushed. “Thank you. Mr. Brooks, I’m not a very sociable person. This company keeps me busy. Even if I did take time to get to know a person, it would not be one of my clients. It’s a matter of principle”

“Your reputation?”

“Yes. You know the business world. Two young females, trying to run a business. The appearance of impropriety alone could kill us. That’s why I keep my personal and professional lives separate. I’m sure a man of your intelligence understands that.”

James smiled and stood up. “Hmm, another rejection. I do understand, but I will not concede defeat just yet.”

Before Tracy could respond, Ashley, Cynthia and Rosaline came through the outer door. “Hey, Tracy.” Ashley burst through the door then stopped when she saw James. “James, hello.”

“Hey ho, what’s going on?” Cynthia called from behind Ashley. “Oh, excuse me, I didn’t know someone was here,” Cynthia remarked somewhat surprised.

“Good evening,” Rosaline said.

“Um, Mr. Brooks, I really don’t know these people,” Ashley joked.

Cynthia hit Ashley in the back and then extended her hand. “Cynthia Thornton. And you are?”

“James Brooks.” He shook her hand while smiling. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Rosaline Taylor, and the pleasure is ours,” Rosaline added, extending her hand.

“Ladies, I was just leaving.” He turned to Tracy. “Ms. Washington, hopefully we will have an opportunity to continue our conversation at a later time.” James smiled.

“I’ll walk you to the door,” Tracy replied as she stood.

“Good night, Mr. Brooks,” Ashley said as Tracy and James walked out of the office.

“I apologize for that.” Tracy smiled.

“No apology needed. Have a good evening, Tracy.”

“You too, James.”

James hoisted an eyebrow. “You see, we are making progress.”

She smiled and locked the front door.

“What was James doing here?” Ashley asked from the door.

“He had one or two questions for me,” Tracy replied. “What are you guys doing here?”

“Cynthia has a favor to ask.” Ashley hit Cynthia on the shoulder.