Once Upon Another Time (31 page)

I became anxious. 
Seven years was a long time.  If Gavin met Matt through an acquaintance, it
could account for him not remembering they’d met and it would explain why Gavin
thought he’d known me.  However, I’d seen Gavin in a dream before I’d met him
and like Mother Paula, I’d seen Gavin and Matt as the same person. 

Mother Paula
turned over another card.  “Wheel of fortune,” she said as she gazed at the
card.  “Sometimes things are beyond our control and fate takes over.” 

She paused, raised
a hand to her forehead, and squeezed her eyes shut.  Her expression was
intense, as if she were trying to get her emotions under control, when her eyes
popped back open. 

“It’s nothing
you’ve done wrong, but the other man, good-looking with a boyish grin, green
eyes and blonde spiked hair, shouldn’t be trusted,” she said in a motherly
toned voice.

I was totally
confused.  Was I going to meet someone other than Gavin and what about Matt? 

“I’m sorry I don’t
know anyone who fits that description.”

Laura cleared her
throat.  “I do.” 

“Who?”

“David.”

Mother Paul put
the cards down and threw up her hands.  “This is what I had tried to explain
when you touched the table.  However, I must admit, I’d never seen the
crossover so strong,” she said while staring at Laura.

Laura looked at
Mother Paula sheepishly.  “I was bored.  So when you two had closed your eyes,
I…um laid my palm on top of the deck.  Sorry, I didn’t think it would actually
work
.”

“Laura, how could
you?”

She waved her hand
at me dismissively.  So,” she said, as she scooted her chair forward and leaned
over the table in Mother Paula’s direction.  “What was that you said about
David being dishonest and that he shouldn’t be trusted?”

“Excuse me.  This
is my reading.  I need to know about Matt.”

“Yeah, but right
now she sees something fishy about David.”

“Hey, you’re the
one who called her a quack!”

Mother Paula
cleared her throat.

I glanced at her
apologetically.

“With the melding
of both your karmas I can’t pick up on which man is being dishonest.” 

“Now look what
you’ve done,” I said.

“It was your idea
to make me stay in the first place.  I offered to go.”

“Oh, so this is
all my fault!”

“Please stop your
arguing,” said Mother Paula, as she raised a palm and lowered her head.  “I’m
beginning to get a vision, but I must have total silence while I call on my
Indian spirit guide for help.” 

Laura looked
puzzled, but I quickly motioned for her to zip it up.

Mother Paula sat
quietly, while the sound of gentle tinkling wind chimes mingled with the
fragrant aroma in the air.  A sudden draft swept into the room, bending the
flames and extinguishing a few of the candles. 

Laura grabbed onto
my wrist.  “This better be some kind of parlor trick,” she said with eyes as
big as saucers. 

“Shush,” I said,
as Mother Paula raised her chin skyward with eyes still closed.  A tender smile
softened the harsh gash of her lips, while nodding as if she were silently communing
with someone.  I guessed it was her Indian spirit guide.

With palms lying
flat on the table, her eyelids opened slowly like blooming pedals on a flower. 
A mysterious faraway look settled in her unblinking, deep brown eyes, before
they rolled to the back of her head.  A hum rattled up in her throat.

“Ohmmmmmmmmm…  Do
you know what Moon River means?”  Her voice took on a low monotone.

My heart began to
flutter as I thought about my music box.  It’d play that tune each time Matt’s
spirit was in my room.  “Yes,” I said, barely talking above a whisper. 

“What do you know
about a bracelet with a heart-shaped pendant?”

I gasped and
cupped my hand to my mouth.

“What’s wrong?” 
Laura asked.

I stared
dumbfounded at Mother Paula.  “It’s the bracelet Matt gave me, and at the
cemetery, someone gave the same bracelet to Nicholas.”

“Bracelet,
cemetery,” Laura blurted out.  “What are you talking about?”

I shot Laura a
shut-the-hell-up look.

“I see two men,”
said Mother Paula, “one with sandy hair and amber eyes, and the other tall with
the blue eyes.”

“Yes, Matt and
Gavin,” I said, while sitting on the edge of my seat.

“I see two
sunrises and one butterfly.”

My heart
quickened.  “What does that mean?”    

“Sunrise is the
dawning of a new beginning.”  Her words slowed and her voice became as raspy as
an old man with a polyp-lined throat.  “The butterfly is a symbol of
transformation.  Great legends say it is connected to the soul of the dead in
search of reincarnation.

“Soul in search of
reincarnation?”  I parroted, while feeling as if a rope was tightening itself
around my lungs.    

“I feel a kindly
presence...very caring,” said Mother Paula.  She paused in her speaking.  Her expression
changed from a cold pancake that’s never known the love of syrup to sweet
strawberries drenched in whipped cream. 

“I’ll admit I
could be difficult at times,” she said, “but I always had my heart in the right
place.”

I glanced at Laura. 
The puzzled expression on her face mimicked the question in my mind of why
Mother Paula was speaking in first person.  And why had her voice that sounded
like a foghorn on a dark, dreary morning, suddenly taken on the warmth of the
morning sun settling over a field of yellow daisies?

“The huge body of
water below me seems miles away…  I’m afraid of heights…  I don’t want to lose
my balance…  I’m scared.”

Matt had a fear
of heights.  Was she reliving his last moments before he’d fallen from Mohegan
Bluffs?
 

I didn’t want to
hear that he’d been scared, that he knew what was happening.  I wanted to
believe he’d fallen to his death not knowing he was going to die and then
simply opened his eyes to find he was in heaven.

“My mom called my
outfit trashy hippie clothes,” Mother Paula said, in a voice that took on a girlish
tone.  “I’m glad I wore my favorite tunic top and long flowered skirt.  Mom
always hated my long, blonde wildly wavy hair, too.”

Laura leaned over
and whispered in my ear.  “I’m confused.  Who in the hell is talking?”

I shrugged my
shoulders.

“The crown of blue
sage I’d twined together that morning sat on my head like a crown of sparkling
jewels shooting out into the beautiful universe,” said Mother Paula in a soft
tone.

 “I feel as if I
have the wings of a bird who wants to take flight.”

Mother Paula’s
eyelids began to flutter, while her body twitched like a hopped up junkie going
through withdrawal.  “Who are you?” she finally blurted out in the familiar
raspy voice, which I took to mean the Indian spirit guide was again in
control.  Shadowed flames danced on the edge of her hardened face, when all at
once a broad smile softened her expression. 

“If I was
superwoman,” she said, while giggling, “I could let go of the steel girder and
fly, but my head is beginning to spin.  The warm summer breeze is swirling
around my body.” 

Mother Paula
looked as if she were struggling to shake loose from something.

“What is your
name?” she demanded, in her raspy voice.

“I see the
Brooklyn Bridge above me,” said the girlish voice. 

“Why are you
here?” asked Mother Paula sternly.

Listening to the
two different voices and seeing the varied expressions made me feel as if I
were watching the three faces of Eve.

“How could I be
fast approaching the water below that had once seemed like miles away?” asked
the cheerful voice.

Mother Paula began
to hum softly singing the words, “Love is but a song we sing, fear’s the way we
die…you can make the mountains ring or make the angels cry…  Some may come and
some may go…he will surely pass, when the one that left us here returns for us
at last…”

At first, I didn’t
know what it all meant, but then it finally struck me, Moon River, Brooklyn
Bridge, young hippy girl… 

Aunt Millie?

Mother Paula began
to mumble, her words were inaudible.  I practically leapt over the table to
hear what she was saying. 

“When the one that
left us here returns for us at last,” she sang softy.

“Aunt Millie, is
that you?”  I felt my heart pounding in my ears.

“Who’s Aunt
Millie?” asked Laura.

“I’ll tell you
later.”  My conclusion was that, Aunt Millie had never intended to die.  She
didn’t commit suicide like everyone had thought.  She was just higher than a
kite and lost her balance.

“That’s right,”
Mother Paula, blurted.

Did she just
read my mind and how in the heck did Aunt Millie’s spirit connect with Mother
Paula?
 

“Aunt Millie, if
it’s really you what does Moon River mean?”  Reflections of the burning candles
danced on the walls, as I waited for an answer.   

Mother Paula let
out a loud gasp.  She breathed heavily as if she were trying to inhale the
answer from the aromatic air.  “Music box, you have my music box,” she said.

I placed a palm to
my chest feeling the rapid-firing beat of my heart, as I thought back to three
days before my grandmother died.  She had placed the music box in my small
hands and told me she’d once given the music box to a special little girl, but
that she had died.  She told me that I, too, was special and that she wanted me
to have it.  Growing up I knew it was Aunt Millie’s music box.

“Aunt Millie, it
really is you!”

“When the one that
left us here returns for us at last,” sang Mother Paula in Millie’s girlish
voice.  “Matt has returned to you.”

What was that
about Matt?

Mother Paula’s
head collapsed to her chest and her arms fell limp at her sides.  Laura grabbed
hold of my arm, her eyelids fluttered as if she were about to faint.

Was this the
answer I’d been looking for?
 
Could it be that Matt never did find his way
toward the light
? 
What did Aunt Millie mean when she said he’d returned
to me?  Exactly, where was he? 

Headlights dazzled
and horns blared, as a sea of cars jammed up on Washington Street downtown. 
The night fell around us like a magic illusion of time as Gavin and I stood
outside Providence’s hottest new upscale nightclub.  In one way, my life was
like the full clear moon above, a life I’d felt was beginning to make a full
circle. 

During the two
weeks that I’d last seen Mother Paula, I’d asked myself day after day if it
were possible for Matt to have actually crossed back over into the world of the
living.  From all I’d researched, I knew that seeing and communicating with
spirits was certainly not out of the realm of possibility; there’d been
scientific proof of that. 

As for people
coming back from the dead, there’d been several documented cases.  However,
they were people who were dead for minutes to a couple hours when unexpectedly
they began breathing and miraculously resumed a normal life. 

What I couldn’t
find was one single fact that backed the theory of reincarnation.  I was
inclined to believe that Matt walking the streets of Providence was as crazy as
the existence of vampires.  Still, something gnawed at my subconscious.

I’d dreamt that
Gavin and Matt were the same person, just how Mother Paula had envisioned them
to be.  In a roundabout way, I’d questioned Gavin about whether Matt rang a
bell with him or if he’d hung around the Tiverton Yacht Club where Matt used to
meet up with his sailing buddies.  Gavin admitted to being afraid of water,
while Matt practically lived on the water.  However, both had a fear of
heights.  Although Gavin had classic traits of being like Matt, there were also
distinct differences. 

One thing did
stand out in my mind.  I couldn’t place a finger on when exactly it was that
I’d lost my mind reading ability.  However, I distinctly recalled that the last
day I’d communicated with Matt had been the day before my first date with
Gavin. 

On a fantasy level
of thinking, if Matt and Gavin were one in the same, there would be no need for
Matt’s spirit to communicate with me through passages in a novel.  Still, if
Gavin were to have said something that gave me solid proof that Matt and he
were sharing one body, I still wouldn’t have been able to figure out how it
would have been possible.  By all accounts, believers in reincarnation claim a
dead person is reincarnated into the body of a newborn.  Gavin was almost the
same age as Matt and they were both alive at the same time.  Therefore, even if
I believed in such things, reincarnation would not be possible.

I was convinced
Aunt Millie had spoken through Mother Paula, as there’d been no way she could
have possibly known about the music box.  I vowed that one day when finally I’d
figured it all out, I’d tell my parents and hope it’d bring comfort to my father
to know his sister didn’t purposely kill herself. 

Everything was far
from making sense at that point in time.  However, although Laura had passed
out cold from fright at Mother Paula’s revelation about Aunt Millie, I
convinced her not to fret over the prediction about David or Gavin being
dishonest.  Although our karmas mixed, I’d explained what Cacey had told me
about Mother Paula’s ten percent average for error, like Gavin not having a
birthmark. 

Under pops of
light from the scattered street lamps, I examined Gavin’s face that night outside
the nightclub.  I tried hard to pull any detail from his physical self that
would remind me of Matt.  However, there wasn’t the slightest resemblance. 

“Hey beautiful,”
Gavin said, as we stood in the noisy line that snaked down the block.  He
pinched my cheek playfully.  “You look so delicate and delicious in your sexy
skirt.”