Once Upon Another Time (29 page)

 “So what do you
think of my surprise?”  Gavin asked, while his lips grazed my ear.

“I think you’re
the most romantic man on the planet.”  I gave his hand a squeeze, while
mesmerized by his eyes that looked silver blue in the dimness of the evening. 
My body tingled, as he slipped a strong arm around my waist and pulled me close
to him. 

Straight ahead of
us, the river looked magnificent with tall, shooting flames from the one
hundred or so braziers that rode the waters.

“How’s Nicholas
doing at camp?” asked Gavin.

“Better than I’d
ever done.  I have a feeling he’s going to want a teepee when he gets home. 
That’s all he talks about.  Oh, and he loves art.  The youth counselor asked
the children to choose something from nature to draw, but it had to represent
their feelings about their parents.  Guess what Nicholas drew?”

“Hmm, let me
see.”  Gavin pulled at his chin and stared up at the dark velvety sky, as if
the answer was written somewhere on the stars.  “I’d say he drew a rainbow.”

“What?  How did
you--Gavin Donnelly, you saw it lying on my desk.”  I gave him a playful shove.

Gavin showed a
wide grin.  “I did.  I also noticed what he wrote at the bottom.  ‘Rainbows
make people feel happy.’  I think everything about you is like a rainbow.” 

“Oh stop, you’re
making me blush,” I giggled.

“Have you ever
thought about having more kids?”

His question took
me by surprise.  “Um, not now.  That would require having a husband.  How about
you, ever thought of having any in the future?”

“Yeah, I love
kids.  Why do you think I coach fourteen, nine to eleven-year-olds in playing
basketball at the youth club every Wednesday after work?”

“I should have
known it wasn’t because you were trying to keep in shape.” 

I leaned into his
neck, talking into his shirt collar.  “This is so wonderful of you to bring me
here tonight.”  The clean aloe scent of his skin mixed with the citrus smell of
his shampoo was irresistible. 

“I knew you’d like
it.”

I looked up at
him.  “And you were right,” I said as I followed his eyes down.  “Are you
looking down my blouse?”  I whispered, not wanting the gondolier to hear.

“Well, there’s all
that red lace right there,” he whispered back while circling his finger in the
air and pointing to my bra.

“Lace is good?”

“Ah, yeah,” he
said, and brushed the back of his fingers over my cheek, while the gondolier
navigated the boat down the river past a cityscape of tall, lighted buildings.

“When you first
saw your husband did you know he was the one?”

I felt stunned for
a moment and looked at him curiously.  “That’s an odd question.  Why do you
want to know?”

He shrugged his
shoulders.  “Just wondering.”

I paused, and then
nodded.  “When I look back on it, I believe I did.” 

It was an odd
moment, when out of the blue his mouth found mine, his lips so soft.  When we
broke from our kiss, he looked as dazed as I felt.  As the glow from the huge,
crackling fires reflected across our faces, we gazed into each other’s eyes
like star struck teenagers.  He kissed my forehead and pulled me close.  I
rested my head on his shoulder and laid my arm across his chest. 

Only once before
was I able to see someone’s soul through their eyes and feel the longing, the
ache and the kind of hunger that makes you realize you’ve finally found that
one in a million person.  That person who touches your soul and makes you feel
as if they are the very air you breathe, a feeling of love so great that it
tells your heart you couldn’t possibly love anyone more than you love that one
person. 

That’s what I felt
for Gavin that evening and knew in my heart he felt the same for me.  Maybe it
was the reflections of the torched flames as they sambaed over the dark
rippling waters, or the primitive music and ancient scents that filled the air,
but the night truly did feel ethereal. 

“Whoa,” said Gavin
all of a sudden, as he grabbed the side of the gondola to steady himself.

I quickly lifted
my head off his shoulder.  “What’s the matter?” 

He had a faraway
look in his eyes.  “I don’t know.  I felt a little dizzy.”

I put my hand to
his forehead.  “Your skin feels clammy.”

“This is crazy,”
he said.

“What’s crazy?”

“I don’t know how
to explain it.  It was as if a memory just flashed in my head.”  He ran a hand
through his hair.”

“A memory of
something bad?” 

“No, I was
navigating a sailboat.  The sky was overcast, the water was choppy, but I had
made it to the pier.”

“Is this a recent
sailing experience or one you had long ago?”

“That’s the crazy
part.  I’ve never been on a sailboat, and I wouldn’t know the first thing about
sailing one, but I saw myself.”

“I don’t
understand.  When you say you had a memory, do you mean it was a déjà vu thing
because we’re in a boat right now on water?”

“No.  It was a
memory like I had actually lived it long ago.  I could even see the name
written on the side of the boat.  It was
Love Struck
.”

My breath stalled
in my chest, as my lips fell open, his words hit alongside my head, struggling
to get through to my brain.  Was Gavin like me?  Did he have a psychic gene
that ran in his family?  I saw no other explanation for how he could have known
the name of the sailboat Matt and I once had. 

“Has this ever
happened to you before?”

“Not exactly.”

Goose bumps
scampered over my arms.  “What do you mean?”

“Well, I’ve had
places or things seem familiar to me and I never gave it much thought.  But
that very first time I saw you at the restaurant, and thought I knew you from
somewhere, that was different.  That was like tonight, more like a memory.  I
don’t know,” he said, as he shook his head, “you’re probably right.  It’s just
a déjà vu experience, and I’m getting the scene mixed up with our gondola ride.”  

“Probably,” I said
softly, while pondering the fact that I didn’t know what to think at that moment. 
Ghosts, psychic phenomenon, and other bizarre things that had happened in my
life were beginning to make me feel as if I were stuck in some kind of Stephen
King movie.

Gavin took in a
deep breath.  “Sorry, this was supposed to be a romantic date.  I think I just
blew it.”  An apologetic smile lit his face. 

“No, the night is
perfect,” I said, as I smiled at him and ran a finger over his lips.  Had I not
experienced unexpected strange phenomenon occurring in my own life, I might
have brushed off what had happened.  However, as I gazed at the brass trimmings
on the boat that gleamed as we glided past the fires, the thought crossed my
mind that maybe Matt wasn’t truly gone, but instead lost between two worlds.

* * * *

Clothes trailed up
the stairs, down the hall, and into the bedroom.  Clothes were everywhere
except on our bodies, as Gavin and I tumbled onto my bed in our underwear.  His
strong, muscular body on top of mine felt familiar in an odd kind of way.  His
mouth on my lips had the heat of a branding iron and all I could think about
was how much I wanted him, how much I needed him.  My head swirled with
unadulterated passion, as we lay on our sides, face to face, his arm around my
lower back, my leg wrapped around his thigh like a person lost at sea holding
tight to a life raft.  My body felt as if it had melded with his.

 Working his way
down from kissing my lips to nibbling my ear, my neck, I found myself
pretending he was Matt.  After seven years of starving for his touch, I savored
every morsel of excitement and passion feeling as if we were somehow making
love the way we used to long ago.  Crazy, I thought, as I ran my hands through
Gavin’s hair, thinking how in love I was with him, and at the same time, how in
love I’d always been with Matt.  I didn’t have an explanation for how it could
be possible, but that night I truly felt an invisible thread somehow bound the
two loves of my life.

“You’re stunningly
beautiful and sexy in red,” said Gavin while slipping a finger under my bra
strap to slip it off my shoulder.  As kisses smoldered against my neck, I
thanked my lucky stars that I’d gone to Victoria’s Secret the day before. 
Although liposuction for my stomach would have been a better option, they
didn’t offer it at the mall.  Therefore, I settled for a bikini wax, which I
could truthfully say was more painful than childbirth.

I caught a glimpse
of my lacy red panties that matched my bra  .  There wasn’t enough material in
my panties to make an eye patch let alone restrain my stomach from bulging over
the low cut band of lace. 
What was I thinking!

An image of
Vanessa’s taunt stomach, big firm breasts and smooth, shapely thighs flashed in
my head.  I cringed at the comparison of my lumpy body.  At least I’d had the
sense to turn the dimmer lights down to one click away from being completely
off to conceal my puckering thighs.

I rolled over on
my back.  With my jiggle flesh flattened, the fire of Gavin’s body lying on top
of mine soothed my anxiety.  Like another place in time, familiar feelings of
long ago washed over me like salty waters healing the wounds of my heart with
overwhelming joy--passion--love.  The earth moved and my heart, at last, felt
whole again.

Laura sat at the
break room table with her head buried in her hands, as I stood at the counter
staring down at the cheery looking turquoise and orange pamphlets advertising
the South Beach diet. 

Mrs. Fendworth
sashayed over to the bulletin board in sky-high stilettos.  Her painted-on
black slacks hugged her curves tighter than a tangled rope wrapped around a
bulldog in heat.

 “I’m sorry to
have to do this but pastries are too much temptation for Henry,” she said, as
she tacked a flyer to the bulletin board asking everyone to ban all unnecessary
sugary carbs from the break room.  “Okay, done,” she said, and let out a
fatigued sounding sigh and wiggled her way out the door, her high tight
ponytail swinging from side to side.

I casually looked
over at Laura, who was still not speaking to me after I’d shared my opinion that
I thought Gavin was psychic, and maybe he was somehow connected with Matt. 
Although I truly wanted to believe that theory, my mind kept taking me to other
places--outlandish thoughts about reincarnation.  Not that I knew anything
about the subject, but I did know the theory involves a person dying and being
reborn as an infant.  This meant Matt would have had to die before Gavin was
born, which made no sense.

After I told Laura
about the boat incident and explained my theory, she went silent.  I said
nothing while thoughts percolated in her head.

“Okay,” she said
as she shot up from the table.  “We’d talked about this before and I got the
impression you were on your way to getting better.  But not letting go of Matt
is, well…ugh!  What you told me about Matt and Gavin somehow connecting?  It’s
absurd!” 

I was glad I’d
kept my wits about not mentioning my mind reading episodes, my actual
encounters with Matt, or that he’d relayed his thoughts to me by using the
novel as his talking tool.  Instead, I tiptoed around the subject and blamed
any assumptions I’d had about Matt and Gavin having a connection on Mother
Paula.

“Okay, so maybe it
sounds ridiculous, but how could Gavin have so many of Matt’s quirky habits,
and why would he call me
chaton
?  Who uses that term?  And how would he
know the name of our sailboat?”  You know what Mother Paula said about it all.

Laura rubbed her
fingertips to her forehead and squeezed her eyes closed, then snapped them back
open.  “You’re an intelligent, sensible woman.  How can you believe some quack
fortuneteller who looks like a character out of Young Frankenstein?”

 “She really did
see Matt.  She knew he fell from a high cliff.”

“I don’t believe
it.  Someone must have told her.  Besides does Gavin have a birthmark in the
shape of a star on his thigh like she’d said?”

“Well, not that I
could see.”

“Told you.”

“Yes, but she knew
other things, too.”

“Like what?”

“She knew Matt and
I had argued, that he had left our room and that it was foggy outside.  You’re
the only one I’d ever told.  Did you tell Cacey or Katelyn about the argument?”

“Of course not.”

“Well, then how
did Mother Paula know?”

“I don’t know.”

“My point
exactly.  She said that Matt and Gavin were one in the same person, which I
don’t really understand, but maybe Matt’s…”

Laura’s eyes
narrowed as my voice dropped off.  “Maybe Matt’s
what
?” she asked sternly.

Do I dare say?

“Well?” she said,
“finish what you were going to say.”

“Um…maybe Matt’s
here?” 

“Now you’re really
going off the deep end.” 

“Listen, I need
some answers.  We should go see her.”

“See who, the
quack?”

“Yes, Mother
Paula.  Maybe she can tell me what’s going on and what she means by Matt and
Gavin being the same person, but I don’t want to go by myself.”

“Oh, no,” Laura
said waving a finger at me.  “You are not going to get me to go with you,
ever
.”

* * * *

Old red brick
apartment buildings with cloudy windows lined the street of Mother Paula’s
neighborhood.  A jumbled sound of a jackhammer emanated from a manhole
surrounded by a chain link fence, while a noisy garbage truck pulled out from
an alley.  Looking west into the late afternoon sun, I lowered my vehicle visor
to block the brightness.

“Are you sure this
is the right neighborhood?” asked Laura.

“It’s right there
on the GPS,” I said, pointing to my dashboard.