Once Mated Twice Shy (8 page)

Jordan blew out a
breath when her eyes slipped closed and he stood.  This was it.  He’d bet it
all on her and she couldn’t do it, she couldn’t forgive him.  Fuck.  God he’d
been so stupid.  His youth, the time he’d spent sniffing after her, the time
he’d spent fighting with her and trying to alpha up, it was all wasted.  He was
never to mate and be happy.  He would never have pups.  Women were supposed to
have ticking biological clocks but apparently, men could have them too. 
Jordan’s sounded like the big clock in England.  His hands fisted at his sides
and he turned to leave.  He didn’t want to give up on her, not ever, but she
was giving up on him.  “I forgive you Jordan,” she whispered.  “For all of it,
for everything, I want you to mark me and I want to give you pups.”  A slow
lazy smile spread over his face.  Lettie took her shirt off and pulled her hair
out of the way.  “Whenever you’re ready, I’m ready.”  Her eyes were round and
her breaths shallow remembering the rogues.  His head shook.  Her chin
quivered.  Was he toying with her again?

“Not until you
climax darlin’ I don’t want to hurt you, not ever again.  Tonight we start
over.  This is our first time together as grownups.”  Jordan took the rest of
his clothes off and sat beside her on the edge of the bed.  “I want to start on
the first pup soon okay, and I want a houseful, are you in agreement with
that?”  Lettie considered it and Jordan grew nervous.

“How many is a
houseful?  I don’t think that we can afford too many.  I was saving up for them
but now…”  She was knotting her fingers in her lap.

“You were saving
up?  What do you mean?”  What was she talking about now?  Lettie didn’t want
children, she never had.  “You said that you didn’t want pups.  What do you
mean you were saving up?”  She glanced up at him.

“I didn’t want
them when I was fifteen and not even when I was twenty but I knew that I would
someday.  I was saving up.  I thought if I could save enough money that we could
afford a couple.  They’re expensive Jordan.  The man on TV said that they cost
like a quarter of a million dollars each.”  Jordan laughed.  “What?  Are you
laughing at me?”

“You always were a
planner.  You don’t have to pay that up front sweetheart.”

“I know that
jackass but they need clothes, food, shoes, video games…”

“We’ll be fine
sweetheart.”  He smiled but she saw the doubt in them and narrowed her eyes. 

“What is it
Jordan?  You said that we are two halves so tell me what you were thinking just
then.”  He grimaced.

“The pack is
broke, you’ve seen the books.  We are broke.”  She nodded.  “We need to come up
with something to make money for ourselves and the pack.  I was thinking about
a heating and air company.”

Lettie got up and
stripped the rest of her clothes off.  “You hated that kind of work.”  Jordan
got under the covers and waited for her.  He lifted them to let her crawl in
with him.  Lettie fit herself into his side.

“But I know how to
do it and there are a few others that know how too.  We need to do something. 
Frank sold the cabinet business but he kept the money while everyone sat here
thinking we were rich.”

“I don’t think he
kept it.  From what I can tell, Frank sold the company and made a lot of stupid
investments.  I don’t think he’s out there retired and sipping margaritas
somewhere.  I think he’s either alone or with another pack by now but I don’t
think he stole the money.”  She rested her cheek on his chest and listened to
his heart thump. 

“Huh, are you sure.” 
She nodded.  “So he asked me to challenge him because he couldn’t fix it.  He
ran.”  She nodded again.  Jordan hugged her closer and kissed the top of her
head.  The sun was nearly gone from the sky but the last few beams of light
shown through the blinds.  Lettie tasted his skin.  “This is permanent Lettie. 
No more rejecting each other.”  Lettie looked up at him.

“You started it.” 
She smiled against his chest. 

“Yeah but I’m not
as smart as you are.”  She grazed her teeth across his nipple and he growled. 
Lettie’s tongue flicked at it and he gasped then pounced, flipping her over
onto her back.  “We’ll be okay.”  She nodded then wrapped her legs around him
as he sank into her.  “You feel so good.”  Lettie pulled his head down to
hers.  She mouthed his mating muscle.  “Mark me.”

“Not yet.  I don’t
want to hurt you anymore either.”  She murmured.

“Every second that
you wait is more painful than your bite with be.”  Jordan’s tongue pressed
against the pulse at the base of her neck.  Lettie’s canines extended and she
sank them into his neck as gently as she could.  He growled against her skin
and rolled his hips.  Lettie moaned.  Jordan filled her repeatedly setting her
insides alight with want and need.  Her legs tightened around him as the orgasm
crashed over her nerves and senses.  “Oh Christ, Lettie!”  He roared.  Her
fingernails tore at the muscles of his back when his canines eased into the
tender flesh of her neck.  He tended the wound immediately.  There would b no
more pain for his mate.  Jordan kept kissing her long after she slept.  “
Mine.
” 
He murmured against her skin.  Lettie sighed and moved closer to him.  She
nuzzled his chest and Jordan smiled.  This was how it should be, complete, and
utter contentment.  Jordan thought as he drifted off to sleep.

“That’s it!” 
Lettie sat straight up as she shouted.  “I have it Jordan.”  She suddenly bounced
excitedly an hour after she’d fallen asleep.  “I know what to do.  I know how
to save the pack and how we can have pups!”  Jordan chuckled and smiled up at
her.

“Tell me.”  Lettie
was up on her knees now with her hands braced on his chest.  Jordan tugged her
forward hoping to ease her into a straddle over his hardening erection but she
wouldn’t budge.  Who could stay soft with those gorgeous breasts in their
face?  They were full and pale, their plump tips like tiny ripe raspberries. 
Jordan could barely refrain from leaning up to take one into his mouth.

“Mister Thompson
is always talking about retiring and going to Florida.  He wants to sell the store
but he wants to sell it to someone that he trusts.”

“What part of
broke did you not understand?”  One eyebrow rose at her.

“Yeah that’s the
beauty of it.  The store sits on nearly one hundred acres of land that Mister
Thompson didn’t want developed because he didn’t want the traffic passing his
house.  It’s been in his family forever.  If we can get all of it, we can sell
some of that to the developers.  It won’t matter about the traffic because he
will be in Florida.”

“Still broke.”  He
leaned toward a rosy nipple.

“No we aren’t
Jordan.  Get your head out of the box.”  She pushed him back down.  “We are
sitting on two thousand acres and thirty-nine houses that we own outright.  We
can borrow against all of that to buy from Thompson, then turn around and sell
to developers.  Meanwhile we can run the grocers.  All of the wolves who have
been loafing around here since Frank sold the business can go back to work at
the store.  You know we need help, everyone has been working overtime to fill
in.”

“And you can
manage it…”  A slow lopsided smile spread over his face deepening the dimple at
the corner of his mouth.

“Because I have
been for years, the only thing I haven’t done is collect the profits.”  Her
smile was playful and self-satisfied.  Jordan nodded with only pride on his
face.  His mate was amazing.  He knew it and he’d always known it, because she
was his miracle. 

“You are brilliant
darlin’, did you know that?”  Lettie threw her leg over him straddling him. 
“And so damned sexy.”  She reached between them and put his stiffness inside
her channel sinking down onto him with a sigh.  Jordan groaned when she moved
on him.  She moved gently, easily.  “Shit Lettie.  More.  Move.”  She eased up
and back again.  “Oh hell no!  I can’t take this; you’re going to kill me.”  Lettie
giggled.  She was always good at goading him into being rough like she wanted
him to be.  Jordan rolled her underneath him and pounded into her.  He buried
his face in her neck, and mouthed his bite.  Lettie loved it every time he
stroked the nerves inside of her, every time his lips nipped at her neck.  She
raised her legs higher resting her feet on his hipbones.  Each thrust forward
opened her up more for him.  “God I love you.”  He grunted when he came but he
didn’t stop moving until she exploded around him.  Her body bowed and shook. 
She arched her back for him taking all of him as he collapsed into her.  When
their labored breaths eased, Jordan rolled to his side and held her close to
his chest.  His arms wrapped tightly around her as they both drifted off to
sleep satiated.

***

Lettie sat on the
bed with her back propped against the iron headboard.  His laptop rested on her
naked thighs and she sipped coffee.  Jordan cracked one eye open.  He hadn’t
slept that well in years.  His mate was amazing.  She had her bottom teeth
clamped down on her top lip.  She looked like she was doing her impression of a
bulldog but he knew better.  Lettie was deep in thought and was on the verge of
working out all of the problems in their world.  He smiled but she didn’t see
him.  She was tapping keys on the computer.  He hated that damned contraption.  Every
time he used it, his problems multiplied and Jordan did not need any more
problems.  Besides being on probation, he still had the packs debt to work out plus
his own personal finances sucked for the first time since he was fifteen, it
was all too much.  The first step was complete though, he had Lettie back, and
she was always smart enough for both of them.  Step two; present this stroke of
genius to the pack.  They were going back to work any way that you looked at it
because if they didn’t they were all going to be living in tents in the woods. 
Some of them may not mind that but Jordan was partial to a mattress.  Step
three; was to carry out her plan once the pack accepted it.  He took a deep
breath and sighed.

“Give me a minute
and I’ll show you what I’ve worked out.”  She said without looking at him.

“I will wait
patiently if you let me hold that coffee cup.”  She smiled and reached over to
the night table for his waiting cup.  “Yep, brilliant.”  Lettie laughed. 
Jordan sat up beside her and looked down at the screen.  There were way too
many numbers there to make sense to him.  He sipped his coffee and closed his
eyes, even her coffee was better than his was.  You put grounds and water in a
machine for God’s sake what did she do that was different?  He would watch her
sometime and figure it out.

“Okay, here.” 
Lettie turned the laptop to show him.  They sipped coffee while she explained
and pointed at the numbers on the screen.  She was still explaining it to him
while she scrambled eggs twenty minutes later.  By the time she started to load
the dishwasher, Jordan understood her plan in depth and step by step.  He was
right before when he told her that she was brilliant.  This would work.  They
would pull themselves out of financial hardship and would have a sustainable
income.  Once the developers bought the land from the pack and the profits
divided among the pack, they would be safe again.  The members would stay on as
well paid workers.  The land closest to pack land would stay undeveloped as
well as the land closest to the store.  They would develop that later with pack
money into high-end rental units that the pack would control and run.  It was
intricate and it was genius.  The pack must agree and Mister Thompson must
agree but he didn’t think there would be a problem with either.

“I don’t know
Jordan.  I’ve gone along with many things over the years but this is…I’m not
sure if I am ready to retire.  If your people need jobs, I can offer jobs but I
don’t know if I’m ready to let the store go.”  Lettie sipped the soda from the
bottle.  Jordan was tense and she felt it.  What would they do if this didn’t
work out?  He would have to start the heating company that he mentioned.  She
didn’t want him to be unhappy for her sake or the pack’s sake.  Jordan had come
in here expecting this to be a breeze.  ‘What do you say to letting me buy the
store so you can retire.’  He should’ve known better.  He must approach this
with kid gloves.  This man had run the store his whole life and it was like his
child.  You don’t just breeze in and take a man’s child away.

“Mister Thompson,”
Lettie said softly, “what is it that you are hanging on to?”  She asked
gently.  “You keep telling me that you want to retire and move to Florida.  I
thought this would help you and us.”  He rubbed his balding head with a
wrinkled arthritic hand.  “You should enjoy your life.”

“I don’t think
that Mister Thompson is holding onto anything.  I think Mister Thompson isn’t
ready for change.  Am I right?”  His lips pressed together and Mister Thompson
nodded.  “It’s okay.  We understand.”  Jordan said.  “We’ll find another way.”

“Another way?” 
Mister Thompson asked.  Jordan nodded. 

“The last alpha lost
all of the money and he convinced me to challenge him for alpha.  I fell for it
and inherited an empty bank account and houses in foreclosure.  We hoped to
borrow against our land to buy the store so we would have an income.  Lettie
had money saved and that kept us out of foreclosure but I don’t know what we
will do next winter.  It all seemed perfect when Lettie came up with it. 
Everyone would get what they wanted, you could retire and move to Florida and
we would have the store.

“I still have the
house and the land behind the store.  So if I sold you the store, I’m here in
the house without a job.”  Jordan pulled a face and sat back to study him. 
Jordan hadn’t mentioned the house or the land yet.  Sometimes it was best to
let someone think he had the upper hand.  He thought.

“So if you could
sell the house and the land with the store, then you could retire?”  Mister
Thompson’s eyes cleared and he sat up straighter.  His chin came up and his
chest swelled.  “Gee, that’s a lot, I don’t know.”  Jordan stammered. 

“I think it’s the
only way that I could do it Jordan.  I would have to sell the land, house and
store together.  I want to sell the store to someone who would care for it as
much as I have.  Someone like Lettie would appreciate it.”  Jordan smiled at
her.  “That would be a condition too.  She would have to be the manager as long
as your pack owned it.”

“She was our pick
too Sir.”  Jordan clasped his hands lightly on the table in front of him.

“Are you
together.”  Lettie smiled and nodded then showed Mister Thompson the mark. 
Jordan pulled his collar aside proudly showing the mark that she’d made on
him.  Mister Thompson’s eyes twinkled.

“Now how long is
this for this time?”  He chuckled.

“This is it.” 
Jordan’s eyes flashed at his mate.  “No more of this on again off again
bullshit.  We have made a fresh start, let go of our past and we are going to
act like grownups.  Lettie needs security and stability.”

“I know she does. 
She reminds me so much of Missus Thompson, God rest her soul.  I think of
Lettie as a daughter.  I’m so proud of the person that she has grown into, of
how brave and independent she is.  I know that usually wolves are dependent on
their packs.  My wife was so frightened to leave her pack and come to live with
me.  Luckily, she loved me just a speck more than she loved the pack.”  He
smiled fondly lost in the memory.  “She wanted to retire to Florida someday. 
She wanted to sit on a porch and look at the ocean.”  He sighed.  “It won’t be
the same without her.  I would be all alone there.  At least here, I have my
employees to talk to me.  I don’t think that I want to sell Jordan.  Thank you
for the offer but I think that I’ll keep it a little while longer.”  Jordan
nodded in defeat and squeezed Lettie’s hand.

“We’ll find
another way sweetheart.”  She grimaced and dropped her head.  “It’ll be okay. 
There’s always the other business that we discussed.”  Lettie bit her lip and
stood.  “Are you going to stay here and work or do you need a ride home?”

“I’m going to
stay.  I want to finish resetting the cleaning aisle.  Is that okay Sir?”  He
nodded.  Jordan stood and shook Mister Thompson’s hand.

“If you ever
decide to sell Sir keep us in mind.”  Jordan said.  Mister Thompson nodded and
went back into his office. 

Jordan went home
disappointed and deflated.  “Damn it!”  He hissed pulling his dress shirt off
and pulling his tee shirt on.  He would take his aggressions out on the
firewood.  He and Lettie spent only a few minutes convincing the pack that this
would work.  They’d thought that the pack would be hardest to sell the idea to,
that Mister Thompson would be easy since he wanted to retire.  Jordan scoffed. 
Convincing the pack took ten minutes.  He’d been in Thompson’s office for
nearly an hour and got nowhere.  What now?  Thwack!  The logs flew.  He would
have to break the bad news to them.  This alpha business was harder than it
looked and Jordan felt like he was failing at it, miserably.

Lettie finished
the cleaning aisle, ordered stock, and filled the candy displays at the
registers.  It was a nice dream while it lasted.  She shrugged and shook it off. 
What bothered her most were the pups.  Jordan wanted them and she wanted to
give them to him.  She wanted them too if she were honest with herself.  Maybe
if she’d gotten pregnant when they were young, everything would’ve been
different.  The money would still be theirs, they would be raising teenagers by
now, and Jordan wouldn’t be the alpha.  He’d done that for her.  He thought
that she needed it to be secure.  She blew out a shaky breath.  Now they
couldn’t take care of themselves let alone pups.  Lettie sniffled the tears
back and went back to the gum and candy bars willing herself not to think about
it.  Her shoulders shook with it though.  No pups.  She missed her window.  All
of this time wasted, fighting Jordan, all wasted and stupid.  She should’ve
given him pups the first time he asked.  She stifled the sob with her fist and
headed to the storeroom.  It was the most private place to have her breakdown. 

“Lettie?”  Mister
Thompson found her like he always did.  He had radar for tears.  Lettie dabbed
her face and sniffled loudly.  “I’m sorry that I can’t sell you the store
dear.”  She nodded and tried to smile.

“It wasn’t that,
well that was in there but…oh, I’m sorry Mister Thompson.  This isn’t your
problem.  I’ve finished everything.  I’ll just go home.  Good night Sir.” 
Lettie tried to ease passed him.

“Please Lettie.” 
He put his hand gently on her arm to stop her.  “We’re still friends aren’t
we?  Maybe I can help.”  She shook her head.  “Lettie.  Please?” 

“I just realized
how much time I’ve wasted and how much I’m going to miss out on because I was too
careful.”  She sniffled again.  “It’s just poor Lettie day, that’s all Sir.”

“What are you
missing out on dear?”  He looked at her quizzically.  Drawing a trembling
breath, the words fell from her lips.

“Children.  I
didn’t want them when I was young but I was saving up for them because I knew
that I would want them one day.  Jordan wanted them from the moment we mated. 
Then when I told him no, he got it in his head that he needed to be alpha so
that we could start our family.  When he got that into his head, it started a
series of events that led to our mutual rejection.  Once he got the alpha
position, we weren’t together and the pack needed money.  He spent the money
I’d saved for pups on the pack and now that we’re together, there’s no money
left for pups.  I wasted my youth being overly cautious and now I can’t bring a
child into the world not knowing if I can feed it.  Like I said Sir, it’s just
poor Lettie day.  I’m going to head home Sir.  Shall I come back for an extra
shift tomorrow?”  Lettie nibbled her lip.  “I can use the overtime.”

“I need a cashier
if you are willing to pull a shift I’d be grateful.”  His wrinkled face creased
with his smile and concern.

“I’ll see you in
the morning Sir.”  Lettie hurried out of the back door of the store and shifted
into her wolf.  She could call Jordan but she needed to clear her head, and a
run would help with that.

***

“How did it go
Jordan?  Are we rolling in the dough again?”  Mark asked grinning as he walked
around to the back of Jordan’s house.  Jordan turned from his fire wood. 
“Shit.”  Mark murmured.  “What now?”

“Now we all go
back to work.  I have an idea about a heating and air company.  You, Terry, Lucas,
and I will all be pitching in.  Everyone else will be going to work at the
grocery store or finding a job somewhere.  We need to pool our resources so
that we can keep the human’s from foreclosing on any of the houses and so we
can all have electricity this time next year.”  Mark nodded.  Jordan’s voice
had gone from neighborly to alpha by the end of his speech.  “I will have a
pack meeting tonight at seven, let everyone know please.”  Mark nodded and
left.  Thwack!  Jordan swung at the log on the stump in front of him.  Where
was Lettie?  He looked at his watch.  It was starting to get dark.  He was
getting hungry and she would be too.  He needed to hold her and make it all go
away for them both.  Jordan went inside to start dinner. 

“Jordan.”  She
said when she came into the kitchen.  He turned to face her.  She’d been
crying.  Damn.  He wrapped her in his arms and held her close.  He rested his
chin on top of her head.  “What are we going to do?”  She murmured against his
chest.  He squeezed her tighter.

“I’m calling a
pack meeting at seven and I am going to tell them that they need to get back to
work.  We need to come together and earn a living.  I’m recruiting Terry, Mark
and Lucas into the heating thing and everyone else is to go work at Thompsons
or where ever they can get work.  Loafing around time is over.  Meanwhile, I
want a cold frame garden constructed and we are going to plant anything
tolerant to the temperatures.  We have to find a way to cut all expenses and
feed ourselves so that we survive this.  There’s been no money coming in for
too long.”  She nodded.  “Are you with me?”

“Always.”  She
looked up at him.  His eyes were full of concern.

“I want you in the
front row at the meeting and you are to sit there from now on.  I also want
your mark visible.  We need to show them a united front.”  She nodded and
stepped out of his arms to throw the spaghetti into the water.  “Pasta is
cheap.”  He said.  Lettie stirred the sauce, the meatless sauce.  This wouldn’t
last.  Wolves needed meat.  She went to the fridge and found the leftover
meatloaf from two nights ago.  She broke it up into the sauce.  “Thank you
sweetheart, I wasn’t looking forward to eating that till now.”  Lettie smiled
brightly. 

“We’ll be okay
Jordan.  Remember that I am a whiz at this.  Mom taught me well.”  He wrapped
his arm around her and kissed her cheek.  “I love you.”  She sniffled.

“Hey, what’s
this?  You just said that we’ll be okay and now you’re crying, again I
suspect.”  Jordan kissed her tears away.

“I don’t know
what’s wrong with me.  I lost it at work too.  I just can’t believe how stupid
we’ve been and how much time we wasted.  Most of all I can’t believe how I blew
our chance to have a family.  It’s my fault Jordan.  I’m so sorry.”  She broke
down then and he wrapped her in his arms again and held her until it stopped.

“We’ll be okay,
Lettie.”  She chuckled. 

“Are you throwing
my words in my face?”  She grinned up at him.

“No.  I think we
will be.  We need to pull it together and keep our heads down but we’ll be
okay.”  He gave her a squeeze and let her go so he could set the table for dinner. 
Suddenly, he was starving.

***

Summerville November Emergency Pack Meeting

“Summerville Pack!” 
Jordan stood tall at the front of the room.  “As you all have probably heard by
now, the plan to buy Thompson’s grocery store did not work out.”  The crowd
murmured and Jordan put his hands up to quiet them.  “It seems that Mister
Thompson was not as ready to retire as he previously said.  I did tell him that
the offer stands if he ever changes his mind.  Meanwhile, we need to get back
to work if we want to survive the next few winters.  Those of us who are
qualified will be going back into the HVAC slash plumbing business.  Those of you
who are not qualified for that will be finding jobs elsewhere, everyone is
expected to find gainful employment if you do not already have a job.  The
vacation is over.”  Jordan’s eyes flashed in challenge, heads bowed.  “Our
evenings will be spent digging the biggest cold frame garden anyone has ever
seen.  In the sunny field behind Terry’s place, we are going to dig down, build
up the sides, and cover it in plastic.  Every penny that we can save is another
day that we survive.  Got it?”  More than a few of them looked frightened.  “I
see that it is finally dawning on everyone how dire of straights that we are
in.  We have mortgages to pay, utilities and we have to eat.  I want game
brought in, plenty of it.  We have not hunted for food in years and it’s time
we got back to it.  Anyone with a fishing pole and a free minute is down at the
river.  Anyone else is out in the woods bringing in deer, ducks, geese,
squirrels, or anything else you can find.  We are going to survive the
old-fashioned way, the way that our grandparents did.  Understand?  No more
lazy wolves, no more chips, and beer.”  Jordan’s pack felt the command in his
voice.  As submissive wolves, they were compliant to their alpha.  The room
filled with ‘yes Sirs.’  Lettie bowed her head in submission.  “Lettie.” 
Jordan pulled her to her feet.  “Mister Thompson said that he would offer jobs
to the pack.  What positions are open at the store?”  Lettie hated talking to
crowds.  It wasn’t in her nature to be extroverted.  Her body trembled and he
pulled her into his side then wrapped his strong arm around her to give her
courage.  She took a breath and calmed.  Jordan looked down at her with
adoration.  His mate was so beautiful.