On the Plus Side (30 page)

“What?” I forced the single question out.

“If you want your money, stay away from my daughter! Break it off. I didn’t mean for it to go this far. I didn’t think you’d actually start to care for her or that she would honestly fall for you. I want better for her. I specifically said not to touch her and you did it anyway!”

I felt as if I’d been slapped in the face. Why would Lilly put our personal business out there for the world to know, especially her bitch of a mother? It felt wrong for her to know such delicate things about our relationship.

“I love her. I won’t leave her alone. We belong together.” I tried to stay calm and be as respectful as possible.

She was a total pain in the ass, but she was still Lilly’s mom and if I planned on spending the rest of my life with Lilly I needed to start being nicer to her mother.

“Don’t you want better than this for her?” She motioned to the dirty garage around us.

I wanted Lilly to be happy and I knew I could make her happy. I wasn’t the richest man in the world, but the one thing I knew about Lilly was she didn’t care about material things. She loved me and she wanted to be with me. We could make it work together. 

“I can make her happy,” I said coolly.

“If you care about her at all, you’ll stay away from her, and if you want this house, this land, or this shack you call a business, you’ll break up with her and never find yourself in her presence again.”

This wasn’t happening! It couldn’t be happening.

Calm, cool, and respectful went straight out the fucking window.

“You bitch! Do you get off on this? Do you go around and ruin people’s lives for enjoyment? You can’t play with people like this!  I won’t do it—I can’t do it.” I threw my lug wrench across the room and it crashed into a wall before pinging to the floor.

“You’ll do it or you’ll lose everything. I’ll make sure Lilly can’t stand the sight of you. Once she finds out about you cheating on her that’s all it’ll take. Don’t think for a minute that I can’t pay of some piece of trash to lie for me.” She was beginning to calm down which meant she felt like she had the upper hand again. “I’ll do whatever I have to do to secure my daughter’s future. I’ve already got a nice young man picked out for her—he’s a lawyer. Can you compete with that?” Again she motioned to the area around the garage. “Do right by her Devin, let her go. If not, you get nothing and I’ll ruin your life.”

With those final words she turned and walked away. She wasn’t willing to even listen to my argument, and honestly, I was tired of arguing. Lilly was more important to me than the house or the business.

It was time I came clean. I was sick of having that bitch pull me around like a puppet.

I’d tell Dad and Jenny, too, since this meant we were more than likely going to lose everything. They loved Lilly as much I did, they’d understand, and as a family we’d make it work. The only difference was now I included Lilly into that situation.

She was my future, my everything, and I’d do right by her. I’d start over fresh somewhere and be the best Devin I could be for her.  Even if it meant losing her, I was going to come clean. Hopefully, she’d understand. Hopefully she’d forgive me and we could move past it and start over fresh.

I finished up all the work in the garage, and when Dad came in we quietly cleaned up some old oil and swept the place.

Once I was done, there I went inside and took the hottest shower my skin could handle. Lilly would be there soon and the possibility of my life being flipped upside down was hanging in the balance.

I knew Lilly. What I was going to tell her was going to hurt her and thinking about hurting her was making me nauseated. The last thing in the world I wanted to do was hurt her, but if I wanted to feel secure in our relationship, it needed to be done. I had to tell the truth.

“You look like you just saw a ghost. What’s on your mind?” Jenny asked as she flopped onto the couch next to me.

“Just thinking.
What’s up with you?” I asked, hoping to change the subject.

“Josh kissed me,” she blurted.

I swung my attention to her.

“Did you punch the shit out of him? Do
I
need to punch the shit out of him?”

I would, too. No questions asked.

“I think I like him, Dev.” She blushed prettily.

My baby sister, the tomboy, the girl who could kick the asses of every boy in her school, blushed. The room suddenly felt smaller.

“Well, I should hope so. Y’all been friends for a long time.” I played it off.

“No, I mean, like, I really
like him
like him. Is that OK? I mean, do you like Josh?”

Alarms went off everywhere in my mind. She was talking about dating. I knew the day would come at some point. My sister’s a pretty girl, but I was hoping it would be after college once she got out of her awkward wannabe-boy stage.

“As long as it’s what you want, I guess I’m OK with it. If he hurts you, I’ll break his legs.”

She squished herself closer to me and threw her arms around my neck.

“Don’t worry, if he hurts me,
I’ll
break his legs.” She smiled and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

She was going to be the death of me.

“Listen, Jenny, I need to sit down and talk to you and Dad tonight about something serious. OK?”

“You’re going to ask Lilly to marry you?” she asked hopefully.

“That would be kind of fast, don’t you think?” I laughed. “No, I’m not asking her to marry me, but it’s something important, so don’t be at Josh’s house all night, OK? And no making out and shit, video games only or I’ll kill him, got it?”

She shook her head. “Yeah, yeah, yeah… I’ll be here and if he lays a finger on me, I’ll break it for you.”

I laughed as she walked out the front door and left me alone with my thoughts and fears. Today was a game changer all around and I was starting to worry about whether or not I’d win the game.

      
Thirty

Big News

I drove the thirty minutes to Devin’s house with a huge smile on my face. I still couldn’t believe how much my life had changed in the last couple of months. I used to be so lonely and now I had a wonderful guy in my life that I loved with all my heart and a baby on the way.

I’d had the entire day to think on it, and I’d decided that I was ecstatic about the baby. I’d already started thinking about the baby names I liked and all the fun stuff I was going to buy. I thought about houses and buying a new “mom” car.

Even with all the good stuff running through my head, I was still worried about whether or not Devin would want to be a part of all of it. I hoped more than anything that he would.

Jenny would be the perfect aunt and Dad would love our little girl like there was no tomorrow, but what about Devin?  What would he say when I told him the wonderful news?

The subject of kids had never been brought up, mainly because our relationship was just getting started, but also because the subject of kids hurt so badly. It had never been a possibility for me and it killed me to think about how lonely my future looked without little ones running around.

I sat under a red light praying for it to turn green and pulled out the ultrasound picture that the doctor had printed out for me. I couldn’t wait to show it to him and get his reaction.

It felt like the trip to Devin’s house had gotten longer. By the time I arrived in his driveway, I was almost jumping out of my car and running to his front door. When I knocked, a swirl of anxiety hit me.  What if he didn’t want the baby? What if he wanted a family, just not with me?

What was I thinking? He was Devin Michaels, the sweetest, most unselfish, loving man I knew. He was the man that I had fallen madly in love with, and the man that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I shook all the bad thoughts out of my head and knocked once more.

He pulled the door open, smiled, and then held open the screened door, inviting me in without saying so. The ultrasound picture was burning a hole in my hand. It took everything in me to not open it and throw it in his face with a big smile.

“Hey, baby.” I leaned up and gave him a pop kiss.

He kissed me back then wrapped his arms around me and hugged me close for a long time. He was acting awfully strange and for a brief second I panicked and thought that maybe he somehow knew about the baby already. That was impossible, of course, since other than the doctor,
I
was the only one who knew.

He let go, stepped back, and just stared at me while sitting on the couch. I sat beside him and held his hands in mine. He didn’t even notice the picture in my hand. He looked as nervous as I felt and again I wondered why.

“I thought about you so much today.” I brought his hand to my mouth and kissed his palm softly.

“I thought about you, too. I love you, Lilly,” he said, flatly.

“I love you too, Devin. More than you could ever know.”

This time it was his turn to kiss my hand. He pressed my cool palm against his check and looked back at me.  He didn’t even notice the folded picture in my hand. Something was definitely wrong.

“I need to tell you something.”

Alarms went off in my head.

“I need to tell you something, too. That’s why I came to you, but you go first. What I have to say can wait a few more minutes. Are you OK? What’s wrong, baby?” I slid closer to him and wrapped my arms around him.

“I don’t know where to start,” he said. “I guess I should start with how wonderful I think you are. You’re the sweetest woman I’ve ever met and I thank God every day that I met you.”

He was starting to sweat. Even his hands were starting to sweat in mine. He cleared his throat and pulled at his collar.

Then suddenly I knew what he was doing. He was breaking up with me. Right before I was about to tell him that we were having a baby, he was telling me he wanted nothing more to do with me. I could feel it. His next words were going to kill me and I was going to have to drive home with a part of Devin tucked safely inside me.

Years from now, when I would look into my daughter’s eyes, I’d see him, and it would kill me, but I wouldn’t let it break me. I had more than just myself to think about now, and if it was the last thing I did, I’d protect my baby, even if it meant staying strong and not breaking down over our break-up until after she was born.

I sat quietly and tried to cover the worry that I hoped wasn’t showing on my face. 

“God, this is so much harder than I thought it’d be.” He started to breathe heavier. He knew his words were going to crush me.

I knew it, too.

“Devin, you can tell me anything. No matter what it is, I’ll understand. Just tell me what’s wrong and I’ll fix it. I love you, Devin, and I…”

He cut me off by holding his hand up for me to stop before I could finish.

“You’re going to hate me when I say this. Promise you won’t hate me, I just want to be honest with you.”

He wanted to be honest.., that meant there was another woman involved. I had to remember to be strong once he broke it off. I could take it.

“I could never hate you, Devin,” I whispered.

This was it, the end of us. He was about to break up with me.

“Do you remember the first day we met?” he asked.             

“Of course, I remember.”

I definitely did, I counted it as one of the best days of my life.

“Well, it wasn’t by coincidence that I came in your store that day. Your mom told me to go in your store. She told me where you worked and where you hung out. She made it easy for me to get you to go out with me.”

“I don’t understand,” I said, confusion written all over my face “What does my mother have to do with this? You’ve only met her a handful of times.”

“I met your mom before I met you. I met her at the bank one day. I was making a complete fool out of myself begging the bank to give Dad more time to make a payment on the house. We were fixing to lose everything, Lilly, everything that we worked so hard for. We owed the bank eight thousand dollars and we were
fixin’ to lose it all. We didn’t have that kind of money,” he pleaded.

“I still don’t understand what any of this has to do with my mother,” I said.

Inside I already knew. Instead, I sat there quietly praying that he wasn’t about to say the words that would shatter me completely.

“The bank turned me down. They told me there was nothing I could do except pay the balance owed. I went crazy and punched the bank manager. I was arrested, but I wasn’t there long before your mom bailed me out. I had no idea who the hell she was. I’d seen her at the bank before I showed my ass, but I was still shocked when I stepped outside the jailhouse to see her standing there waiting for me and well…” He stopped.

“Well?” I asked.

I needed to hear him say it. I needed to hear him tell me that my mother bought him for me. I had to hear it!