On the Plus Side (26 page)

Then there was a rhythm as he used my finger to massage my clit in a circular motion. It felt amazing, and before long I was starting to pant and moan softly. His hands left mine and the motion stopped.

“Don’t stop,” he whispered in my ear as he moved his hands up to caress the rest of me.

Hesitantly, I continued his rhythm on myself. His eyes beat into mine. At first there was a tiny bit of embarrassment, but once I felt his hardness press into my back and heard his breathing increase, I knew I was turning him on.

I nibbled on my bottom lip as the ache increased in my lower stomach.

“Next time you’re alone and you touch yourself, I want you to fantasize about this moment.”

The mirror was beginning to fog up and soon I couldn’t see our reflections anymore. He spun me around and lifted me onto the bathroom counter like I weighed nothing. He pulled me to the edge of the counter then lifted me again as he pushed himself inside of me. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck.

Within seconds, I was coming apart and he moaned his approval as he gripped my ass. It was fast and hard. The bathroom was full of steam and heavy breathing. I heard him groan my name in my ear as he slammed himself inside me one final time.

It wasn’t until I was done with my shower that I realized what he had done. He had effectively taken my mind away from all the questions I had about his mother by seducing me. I hated that he was so slick to use sex against me, but at the same time I wanted to applaud him.

*****

After that day I never mentioned his mother again. I knew in the back of my mind that Devin was more broken than he let on, but who wasn’t? I just wished that he would talk about it.

A week later we went shopping with Shannon.

“I hate shopping malls,” Devin said as he sucked on his cherry slushy. “It’s full of teenage boys in skinny jeans and twelve year old girls with too much make-up on.” He pointed to a boy with a green
mohawk. “That boy’s pants are tighter than the chick’s that’s with him.”

“Skinny jeans are kind of the thing now,” Shannon laughed.

We were on the hunt for the perfect birthday present for our friend Erin, and Devin had tagged along. He looked funny, all tall and tattooed among the girly shops.  Every now and again I’d catch him shaking his head and rolling his eyes. He was such a guy.

“Lil, you know you want a pair of skinny jeans,” Shannon joked.

“Um, hell no. You’ll never catch me wearing skinny jeans or anything camouflaged,” I said as I browsed.

“I don’t care what you wear. I prefer you naked anyway.” Devin snaked his hand behind me and grabbed my ass.

I smacked his hand away and felt my face heat up. Being affectionate in public was new for me and I think he got a kick out of making me blush.

Shannon rolled her eyes. “Why no camouflage?” she asked. “I think some of the pink
camo stuff is cute.”

“The whole point of camouflage is to blend in. A girl my size
ain’t blending into anything.”

Shannon and I laughed while Devin shook his head.

He hated when I made fat girl jokes, but it was kind of my thing. Growing up I learned quickly to make the jokes before anyone else could. It slowed the teasing if I made people laugh with me instead of at me.

“I
gotta pee. I’ll meet up with you guys in a bit, OK?” Shannon said, as she left the store.

Devin and I walked out behind her and made our way to the next store, passing Victoria’s Secret on the way.

“OK, now that’s more like it. Come on,” he grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the store.

I’d always made it a point to
never
go into Victoria’s Secret. I knew what that bitch’s secret was and it had everything to do with stringy panties with not enough fabric to cover my ass.

Shannon had once tried to talk to me into buying a pair of thongs, but the thought of that string going in and never coming out always scared me. Losing the thin line of fabric was a very real possibility for a girl my size. Not to mention, looking like a sumo wrestler was never my thing.

“I am
not
going in there.” I pulled my arm back.

“Why not?
You’d look hot in that black thing over there,” he whispered in my ear as he nodded at a sheer piece of scrap fabric hanging in the showcase window.

“I think not,” I blushed. “I’d never wear something like that.”

“Not even if I said pretty please with a cherry on top?” He leaned in and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“Nope, not even then.”
I latched my arms around his neck.

We stood that way as people walked around us and paid us no attention.

“What if I promised to suck the cherry on top?” he whispered against the side of my neck before planting a soft kiss behind my ear.

There was no winning when he talked to me like that.

“OK, fine.” I peeked up at him through my dark lashes and saw a soft smile spread across his face.

“I can’t wait to get you home and see you in that thing,” he smirked.

Home. The way he said it made my heart skip a beat.

He intertwined his fingers with mine and turned back toward Victoria’s Secret again.

I followed behind him and face-planted into his back when he came to an abrupt stop.

“Well, hello, Devin. How are
things
?” Renee asked with a sneer.

I didn’t need to see her face to know it was her. I’d never forget her voice. I guess I’d hoped that I’d never see her again, especially not while I was with Devin. Ever since the day I found out that the Renee that ruined my life was the same Renee that used to be his side piece, I’d had a tiny fear that we’d run into her while we were together. My biggest fear had happened.

“I’m good,” he said with a clipped tone.

Then it happened. Her eyes left his face and met mine. Her expression changed from amused anger to one filled with total rage.

“Don’t tell me you’re with
her
!” she pointed at me with disgust on her face.

“That’s none of your business,” he evenly replied.

“Oh my God, Lilly? Large Lilly?” she threw her head back in laughter and I felt Devin’s body tense. “Didn’t we deal with you that day in the woods?” She laughed to herself. “Oh my God, I still remember your face that day. It was fucking priceless. I thought I’d never see you again. I see you still have that weight issue thing going on.” She motioned with her hand at my body.

I felt like I was dying a thousand tiny deaths. The embarrassment I felt could never be put into words. Why’d she have to do this now? Why in front of Devin?

“I can’t believe you actually switched schools because of that. We were just fucking around with you. A girl your size could take some roughing up,” she continued.  “And then your bitch of a mom called the school on us. You got me kicked off the cheerleading squad, you fat cow!”

Devin looked down at me with questions in his eyes. I could almost hear him asking me why I didn’t tell him. Then I saw something else written in his eyes…anger. His face was turning bright red and I thought for a minute that he was going to yell at me and join in with Renee and call me mean names like we were in high school again.

Instead, he turned his attention to Renee and took a menacing step toward her, causing her to back up a little.

“If you ever talk her like that again, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. If you ever come near her again I’ll personally make your life a living Hell. I’ve never put my hands on a woman in my life, but if I even think for a minute that you’re causing this girl,” he pointed at me. “A single minute of stress or heartache I’ll personally come to your house and choke the living shit out of you. Do you understand?”

His voice was a sinister whisper and I watched as Renee’s face turned from red to white. She gawked back at him like he was a mad man before shaking her head and backing away.

His body relaxed and his facial expression softened as he turned to me.

“Are you OK, baby?” His voice had softened, too. I loved it.

“I’m fine, a little embarrassed, but I’m OK.” I reached down and picked up the bag I didn’t even realize I’d dropped.

“You have nothing to be embarrassed about.” He leaned in and kissed the tip of my nose. “If anyone should be embarrassed, it should be her for acting like a massive bitch. You, on the other hand, are perfect.”

He kissed me and everything and everyone around us disappeared.

That night he stayed at my place. He was an insatiable beast and I loved it. He didn’t take his hands off me all night. I blame the tiny piece of scrap fabric he bought me from Victoria’s Secret. We made love until we were both exhausted and passed out. 

    Twenty-Five

Mommy Issues

When I left for work, Lilly was still sleeping. There’s nothing more beautiful than a sexually satisfied Lilly sleeping like an angel. I never thought there’d be a day when I had to force myself to leave a woman to go to work, but she was a magnetic force. Being around her made me feel like I was balanced, like I wasn’t breaking apart and splitting into different directions all the time.

Since meeting her there had only been a handful of moments when I felt my usual madness and all of those moments had something to do with either her or Jenny being in some form of pain. Other than that, I felt whole again. I hadn’t felt that way since before my mother left.

I sang along with the radio while I worked on a blown head gasket in an old Chevy. For the first time since I was a boy, I didn’t feel like there was a fifty pound weight on my shoulders.

“You sing like shit,” Jenny said as she threw a piece of candy at me.

I was glad to see she wasn’t affected by the big, traumatic scene from a few weeks before. I had to give it to her, she was tough as nails. I couldn’t be more proud of her.

“More candy? What did Josh do now?”

“He beat the shit out of Justin and embarrassed me at school.”

“Justin?”

“My date
that
night,” she shrugged. “It wasn’t his fault. He was just being a normal teenager and getting drunk.”

“He shouldn’t have left you alone like that. I’m glad Josh got a piece of him.
Anymore news on the guys? I’d love to get my hands on them.”

Jenny could never lie to me. She had a tell sign and for years she’d been trying to get it out of me so that she could make sure she didn’t do it. There was no way in Hell I’d tell her so she could lie in my face. It was the silliest thing, but every time she lied her nostrils flared a bit.

I watched as she shuffled her feet and then turned away.

“Nope, nothing,” she said as she dug into her little bag of candy for another piece.

“Now look me in my face and say that,” I said.

She turned my way and her nostrils flared before she even started to speak

“Cut the shit, Jenny. I’ll just go ask dad. Did they find out who they were or anything?”

“They did, but I don’t want you getting your ass arrested for murder. Just let it go and let the cops deal with it. I’ll tell you if you promise not to touch them. We don’t
got the money to bail your crazy ass out of jail.”

“I promise.” I held my hands up.

“You promise what?” She asked.

“I promise I won’t touch them.”

A baseball bat to their knees wasn’t technically me touching them.

She told me and the worst part was I knew the bastards from high school. They were out on bail, so soon, very soon, I’d see them again. Eric Fitch, Ryan Lang, and Chuck Mitchell—I had a bat with their names on it.

“Don’t tell Lilly I told you, OK? She didn’t want to tell you for the same reasons I didn’t want to tell you.”

“I won’t say anything.”

And I wouldn’t.

I felt a tiny sting at knowing that Lilly had withheld information from me, but I guess I can understand why she did.

I stayed home that night, but only because I had a guy bringing over a car super early. Lilly was going back to work tomorrow anyway, so instead, we stayed on the phone until we were both falling asleep.

The next morning I got an early start and spent most of the day working. Life was good and I couldn’t wait to get back over to Lilly’s and be near her.

I heard a car door outside the garage so I walked out and was met with a tall, gangly man standing beside a Mercedes. He was older and balding a little, but still dressed pretty nice. I could tell by looking at him that he wasn’t from Walterboro.

“Can I help you?” I asked.

“I’m looking for a Harold Michaels. Is he here?”