On the Plus Side (15 page)

I felt him pull me a little closer and for a minute I contemplated walking away. Instead, I relaxed my head against his shoulder. Bad idea!

“You smell good,” he whispered into my ear.

“Thank you,” I said.

“Vanilla and cherries, that’s what you smell like,” he said as he ran his mouth against my ear.

I watched my arm as the goose bumps formed. I couldn’t help it. I hated my reaction to him, but Devin had my body primed for sex and it’s all I could think about anymore.

Please, let this night be over with soon.

I closed my eyes for a minute and imagined it was Devin I was dancing with. I’m well aware of the fact that Matt is hot, but he’s not warm. I don’t mean physically warm, but warm inside. It doesn’t make any sense. I kept my eyes closed for just another few seconds and enjoyed the thoughts of Devin.

Finally, I brought my head back up and looked around the room. The green eyes that stared back at me caught me off guard. The man of my imaginings was standing across the room from me and everything about Devin was right. The relaxed fit jeans he was wearing, the black buttoned up shirt he was wearing, and the smile that he should’ve been wearing would’ve been perfect as well. The only problem was he wasn’t smiling at all. The problem was he looked completely pissed off.

Fourteen

The Party Crasher

I showed up late to the party. I figured better late than never. Also, it took me at least two hours to persuade myself to go through with it. With a hardened heart and a mission, I walked into the secret lair of the she-devil. There were so many people there that I had to slip and slide through the crowd just to make it to the main room.

I looked around at the richly dressed people and then down at my jeans. Oh well
.
I grabbed a glass of something from a man that was walking by with a tray and then slowly made my way through the room. It didn’t take long for me to spot Lilly from across the room. She looked so pretty and I had a sudden urge to be near her.  My hardened heart slowly softened at the sight of her.
Lilly…my Lilly.

I smiled at the warm feeling that spread through me.

She was dancing with some guy and I didn’t want to approach her until she was alone. Suddenly, I realized just who that guy was and my smile quickly disappeared. I watched as Matt let his hands rest against her hips. He was leaning down and whispering something to her. I have no clue what he was saying, but Lilly seemed to be enjoying it.

She must have felt my gaze on her because she looked up and straight into my eyes. I wanted to go over and rip her out of his arms. I wanted to take him by the neck and choke the life out him, but more
than anything I wanted to be the one she was dancing with. Seeing her there with his hands all over her literally knocked the breath out of me.

I impatiently waited until they were finished dancing and then made my way over to where they were standing. Matt turned around and smiled at me before I grabbed his arm and pulled him closer to me.

“What the hell, Matt?” I hissed.

“Dev!
What’s up, bro? I didn’t know you were gonna be here. It’s a nice party, huh?” he smirked, letting me know he was doing it on purpose.

I looked over at Lilly in question. She stared back and our eyes caught before she put her head down. I turned my attention back to Matt. I could feel my pulse in my temples and the heat on my face.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” I asked as I tugged on Matt’s arm again.

He pulled his arm back and gave me a strange look. He turned back to Lilly and grabbed her hand.  I watched as
he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers. I wanted to rip his face off. The flirty smile he threw at her made my stomach turn. I knew exactly what he was up to and there was no way in hell I’d let that happen.

“I’ll be right back, sweetheart,” he whispered to Lilly.

A pretty little blush covered her face and my anger spiked. I practically dragged him to the other side of the room and out of Lilly’s hearing range.

“You better start talking,” I growled.

He pulled his arm out of my iron grasp.

“What the hell’s your problem, Devin?”

“Why are you here with Lilly? Better yet—why are you even here at all?”

“I was invited. I’m her date.”

“The hell you are! You stay away from her. I’m serious, Matt. You stay the hell away from her!” I yelled a little too loudly.

A few of the guests turned and looked our way. Thankfully the shitty music they were playing helped to drown out some of what we were saying. Matt leaned in so that no one could hear.

“Look, man, you blew it. Get over it. Just stand back and watch the master work.”

Even though I wanted to knock him the hell out, I knew I couldn’t, not there, not at Lilly’s birthday party in front of her friends and family. I wasn’t going to give those snooty bastards a reason to look down on my any more than they already did.

“You need to go. You need to leave now,” I said as calmly as I could manage.

“Oh come on, Devin. Don’t act like you weren’t trying to get in her pants. I know you, dude. We’re cut from the same mold. Of all people, don’t even
try
to play
me
. I know the way the game is played,” he chuckled.

I was on my last thread. It took all the self-control I had to keep from busting him in the face with my fist. I took a deep breath and then turned my attention to where Lilly was standing.

She stared back at me with innocent brown eyes and I knew that no matter what I did, I’d make sure to keep Matt away from her.  I also knew that no matter what, I wouldn’t fight at her birthday party. I wouldn’t ruin her night or embarrass her.  The next words he uttered crushed those plans.

“You know… fat girls have low self-esteem,” he slyly whispered. “Lilly’s a pretty girl, if I play my cards right, I could be in that tonight,” he leaned away and laughed at his joke.

Fuck it!

I don’t remember what happened next, I think I blacked out from all the anger that crashed into me. All I know is when I finally came to I was standing over a bleeding Matt and there were four strange men pulling me away from him. I tried desperately to break away from their hold so that I could kill him. Another man came over and helped to keep me back.

I could hear them telling me to calm down. Some woman was telling me to leave. There were hushed whispers all throughout the room.  All I could think about was killing Matt with my bare hands.

“I’ll kill you!” I heard myself growl.

Females appeared from all around with towels to help control the blood that was pouring from Matt’s nose.

“You broke my damn nose!” I heard him sputter.

I tried again to break through the men holding me. My anger just wouldn’t go away. I’m usually calm and laid-back, but for some reason, Matt’s words just made me snap.

“I’ll break more than your nose when I get close to you again, you son of a bitch!”

Suddenly, Lilly appeared in front of me with disappointment in her eyes and I instantly stopped. Her friend Shannon was next to her staring at me like I was some kind of monster.

“Devin, what’s wrong with you?” Lilly whispered in a rush. “Please, stop.”

The begging look in her eyes brought reality back to me. She was embarrassed. Her face was red and she was cautiously looking around the room at the people who were staring at the scene playing out in front of them.

“Please leave—please, just leave,” she asked softly.

She looked up at me and the softness in her eyes calmed me even more. In a daze, I nodded and I felt the arms holding me back loosen. Before I left, I leaned over her so that only she could hear me.

“Get away when you can and meet me outside, I’ll wait all night if I have to. I miss you so much,” I ran my fingers down her cheek.

I’m not sure why I did it. I needed something to hold me in place, and her face seemed to be the only thing I could focus on without flipping out again. The softness of her cheek against my rough fingers kept me in check.

I gave her a pleading look and then turned and walked away.

I didn’t realize until I was outside leaning up against my car that I actually meant what I’d said to her. I did miss her. Seeing her all hugged up with Matt let me know it. It also let me know how much I cared about her. I didn’t want her to get hurt by me or any other asshole around here.

Seeing Matt with his filthy hands on her made me sick, and hearing him talk about doing things with her made me irate, madder than I’ve been in a very long time. That kind of anger hadn’t washed through me since that day in the bank when the bastard of a bank manager down talked my family.

No one talks badly or hurts the people I care about. When they do, I see red, and that’s it. Maybe I’m more fucked up than I thought.

After sitting outside for about thirty minutes, I watched from afar as Matt left the house, got into his car, and then left. It took everything I had not to go over and beat the hell out of him again. 

It felt like forever, but soon I heard the front door open again and I watched as Lilly stepped outside and looked around. She spotted me and then walked toward me with an angry stride.

She looked so nice all dressed up with her hair curled. Once she was close enough I could smell vanilla and cherries, and I smiled to myself.

“You think this is funny?” she asked, outraged.

She used a finger to jab me in my chest and it turned me on. I liked that she wasn’t afraid of me. She poked me again and I grabbed her small hand in mine.

“Well, do you?” Her angry eyes flashed.

“No.”

“Then why are you smiling? I could smack that smile right off of your face, you know that?” she huffed, and then blew her bangs out of her reddened face.

The thought of her being angry enough to smack me was making me hard for some reason. She was a lioness, a tiny lioness, but a fierce one still.

“You smell good.”

I watched as her blazing eyes softened.

“Don’t change the subject,” she said as she broke our eye contact.

“What were you doing with Matt? You know what he’s about, Lil. He’s after one thing and one thing only.”

“I don’t know,” she sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair. “It just kind of happened. I didn’t invite him, Shannon did. Why do you even care, Devin?”

Good question. I ran it through my head over and over again. There was only one answer and that was the truth. The moisture in my mouth disappeared. I tried to swallow and almost choked on nothing.

“I care about you, Lilly.” Those tiny words seemed to take all of my oxygen as I spoke them. I suddenly felt like I couldn’t breathe, like saying things that involved feelings would be the death of me.  “I don’t want to see you get hurt and if you keep playing around with men like Matt, you will.”

Her shoulders relaxed a bit. “You mean men like you?”

“Yes, definitely stay away from men like me,” I chuckled softly.

If only she knew how serious that sentence was. Stay away from me. I wanted to scream at her all the things that were blatantly obvious to me. I was bad for her. I was going to hurt her in the near future and I knew that coming into this gig, but I had no choice. There was nothing else I could do.

She smiled at me and it was such a sweet, heart-shattering smile. For a second, I couldn’t do anything but smile back at her.

“I missed you, too,” she whispered. “And I’m sorry about that night at the party. I think I may have had too much to drink. I mean—I understand if you don’t see me that way and I’m sorry for throwing myself at you like that. It’s so embarrassing.” Her face was blazing with humiliation. I watched as she awkwardly tried to think of something else to say. 
“So… friends?”

She held her hand out for me to shake on it.

I almost laughed out loud. She was so far from the truth that it wasn’t even funny. First of all, the fact that
she
was apologizing when I should be the one apologizing completely threw me for a loop. Secondly, she obviously had no clue how I really saw her. I thought she was sexy in her own little, sweet way and as a person she was amazing. Yeah, she’s a little chunky, and yeah, a month ago that really wasn’t my thing, but now she’s beautiful to me, inside and out.

I grabbed her hand and slowly pulled her to me.

“I’m the one that should be sorry,” I said as I wrapped my arms around her.

“Why should you be sorry?” she whispered in that innocent, tempting kind of way that I can’t explain.

I could feel her nervously shaking against me and it pushed me harder. Although I knew that I shouldn’t, I had to. I couldn’t take it anymore! She was too close and she smelt so good. She felt good in my arms and I missed her like crazy, like really, really missed her.