OMG! I'm in Love with a Geek! (47 page)

My family is also mental. At least at our wedding everyone will get on!

OMG – Megan has gone car-booting with Goose. How sad is that? Does she even have a personality of her own? She was wearing a really nice vintage-style print dress too at 7 a.m. in the morning. She's going to be freezing in the middle of a field wearing THAT! I am going round to Nicky's house today and I am wearing a COAT. I am a feminist and dress for warmth as well as fine glam style, Megan. You ought to try it!

Nicky's house is total CHAOS. Nicky seems to have about 20 brothers and sisters. They were all playing on an old washing machine in the back garden, pretending it was a space station. Nicky's mum was shouting that they had used “all her bloody tin foil making a rocket”. We heard her from down the street before we even saw the space station. When Nicky actually got in the front door all the kids charged up to him for a hug – at one stage he had 5 children hanging off him! He just acted like it was totally normal.

We didn't stay long because Nicky doesn't really have any personal space (Nicky doesn't have ANY space) and his dad had just got back from the supermarket IN SLIPPERS. Neither his mum nor his dad seemed to notice I was there. Or that Nicky was there. He just comes and goes as he wants.

Nicky said, “Come on – I am going to take you to my favourite place.” We ended up at Peartree Railway Station! Nicky whispered, “I come here to read. It's really quiet. Hardly any trains stop here and it feels sort of like the countryside.” At that point a massive Virgin Train came thundering past us and blew its horn! According to Nicky you get used to that.

I don't want Peartree Station to be where I go on dates!

Nicky was saying, “Sorry about my house. It's just my mum is really busy with the kids and my dad is busy working and getting shopping and they don't always notice who I bring home.” I told him it didn't matter but I was a bit freaked out by it all. I was also a bit freaked out by the railway station too. There were about 14 CCTV cameras and they all seemed to be pointed at us. When we were snogging it felt like I was doing something REALLY wrong. I couldn't concentrate on getting a decent kiss rhythm because I kept thinking of MY mum sitting at the main police station shouting, “She said she was going round Nicky's house – NOT kissing him in the middle of nowhere.” The cops could totally show her the footage if they wanted to. Nicky started to get a bit annoyed at me being nervous. “I come here all the time – I've never got in trouble. I doubt those cameras are even on!” Then one of the cameras moved and Nicky decided it was a “bit cold to be out”.

Nicky showed me his graffiti tag on the way home. He'd put it on the side of phone box. He was really proud of it but it just looked like a big load of triangles to me.

Now I'm sitting here feeling guilty but I don't know exactly what for.

A full snog at a railway station is not against the law – even when it's caught on camera.

Hope I don't look weird when I kiss.

Perhaps if you ask them, the police will show you the footage so you can improve your snog technique!

Nicky is a bit … I don't want to get in trouble. I didn't know he did tagging. That's proper graffiti. Proper crime.

Ruby at school today cornered me by the canteen and said, “Hattie – WHY are you going out with Nicky Bainton again?”

When I told her it was because I liked him she said, “Hattie – HE IS TROUBLE. You helped me when I was in trouble, now I'm helping YOU. Give him up. I know why you are really doing it too – everyone does – and it's not fair.” Then she stormed off.

Good to see Ruby can still do a MAHOOSIVE MGK flounce-off when she needs to.

And what does everyone know? They haven't seen how brilliant Nicky is with his family and how great he is to his brothers and sisters.

YOU HAVE TO GIVE PEOPLE A CHANCE. JUST LIKE I DID WITH DAD. And that's what I'm doing. I'm not using him or anything!

I just rang Gran to ask her about Nicky. She said, “Hattie – I can't talk now. I'm going out and it takes 10 minutes for me to put my support tights on.” There's no one I can speak to here and Dimple and Jen would FREAK at this. I'm just totally worried. Nicky is out for the next 2 nights. I know what he's doing and I can't stop him.

I hope he doesn't start writing “Hattie” anywhere so people think I'm actually involved!

Just been practising my tag on my Science textbook. It's rubbish but you can't get arrested for it.

Mrs Field saw my tag on my Science book. Apparently I am scribbling on school property and I should “stop immediately”. I get told off for doodling 1 scribble on 1 book. Nicky has tagged 7 park benches, loads of walls, a fence on a house AND 5 buses (one of them was actually moving at the time!) and NOTHING happens. I AM CURSED.

Dimple rang. She says that newborn babies are a living HELL. Apparently her mum is crying every 5 minutes and last night they had CHIPS for tea. They NEVER have takeaway. Dimple's mum had a kidney stone once. She was in AGONY and she still cooked dinner! All that is left in the cupboard is Pot Noodles. I'm surprised Dimple's family even have them.

Apparently Dimple's dad has a secret Pot Noodle addiction but I can't tell anyone as it could damage his reputation as an upstanding member of the community. Dimple's dad needs to chill out. Even the prime minister lives on Pot Noodles, plays “Fruit Ninja” all the time and cries every night about how hard the job is. It's a well-known fact!

Tell you what, I would rather listen to Amitabh's SCREAMING than Megan Fenton's crap girlie giggle. I am tempted to knock on the wall and tell her to ACTUALLY SHUT UP but I'm worried that would be seen as being a bit … something.

She lives at Goose's house. It's … NOT ON.

Nicky went round with me tonight to see Amitabh after school. As soon as he picked the baby up he stopped crying. It was UNBELIEVABLE. Dimple doesn't like Nicky but even she had to admit it was like
Supernanny
. We've been invited again to go tomorrow. Nicky understands families and babies. And writing his tag on electricity substations' “Danger of Death” signs. That's what he was doing last night.

Went round to see Dimple again. Every member of the family looked really pleased to see us.

Dimple's mum jokingly asked Nicky if he's considered becoming a professional nanny. Nicky said he'd had a bit too much of babies. Mrs Rathod giggled and said, “Shame!” She looked really disappointed though.

Dimple's mum has admitted she's having trouble coping! I'm not surprised. Being a mum is dreadful from moment 1!

Although I reckon my mum doesn't have it too bad… She is asleep AGAIN before 9 p.m. and Rob is doing everything!

I can't decide whether she's a proper feminist or actually just completely lazy.

I told Gran about Dimple's mum. Gran has been in touch and offered to help Dimple's mother – she has theories about babies. Apparently years ago babies were shoved all together in a full-time nursery and a big scary matron gave you the baby at feeding time and then the rest of the time just left them to cry!

Gran believes that the reason that so many young people are not prepared to work hard all stems from the fact that babies are not left to scream nowadays!