OMG! I'm in Love with a Geek! (46 page)

I swear God hates me. Or someone does.

Dimple came round this morning and looked really serious. Before I could tell her anything about Australia she said, “I've got something to tell you – Goose is seeing Megan Fenton!”

GOOSE IS SEEING MEGAN FENTON?!

MEGAN FENTON?!

I shouted at Dimple, “Why didn't you tell me before?!”

Dimple said, “Because Jen and me decided that you had more important things to think about with your dad and we didn't want to spoil your holiday and then you had really bad jet lag at school and you couldn't think straight…”

MEGAN FENTON?!!

HATTIE MOORE fails again. Well, you lost him, Hattie. You played it cool and froze to actual love DEATH.

You know what, Goose? That's cool. That's cool. That's really cool.

And it is cool because I'm going to see Nicky. HE wants me. YOU don't.

BAD. BAD. BAD. BAD.

Just as Goose and Rob were getting back from the boot sale this morning Nicky came round. Goose gave him this really horrible look! I could see it from my bedroom window. He looked like he was going to hit him. Luckily Rob shouted, “Come on, mate! Early bird gets the worm and all that!”

Nicky just marched past Mum and mumbled, “Hello, Hattie's mum!” She tried to say something back but she had a mouthful of muesli and started choking on a sultana. Nicky came up to my room and said:

OMG!

I didn't say anything but then we just had this huge snog till my mum rushed in and said, “Nicky, it is traditional to be invited into someone's house.”

Nicky said, “Sorry, Mrs M. By the way, you've got Alpen on your chin.”

Mum went a bit red and walked off.

NICKY AND ME ARE BACK ON AND HE CAME AFTER ME!!!

SEE! WHEN MEN LIKE YOU THEY TAKE CONTROL AND DO SOMETHING.

Just thinking about it. I'm pretty sure Goose was snogging Megan Fenton before I even went away. He was always on his phone looking totally suspicious.

But it's still OK because I'm with Nicky.

And I can still be friends with Goose. I will have to be. He's next door and he's basically Rob's best friend. So I will keep it…

What's that word Gran uses when you want to ACTUALLY KILL SOMEONE but you have to be nice to them?

Just texted Gran…

Civil. I am going to be civil.

As “civil” as I can be.

I went round to see Goose after school today. He asked me if I'd heard about him and Megan. I said, “Yeah, it's cool – I'm really pleased for you. Did you hear about me and Nicky?”

Goose just said, “Yes – Meg used to have a terrapin so she understands how much time exotic pets need.”

I REALLY DON'T CARE ABOUT MEGAN'S PREVIOUS PET HISTORY.

Just asked Gran if you can base a successful relationship on animals. Gran shouted, “Of course you can! Hattie, people who breed cocker spaniels always marry other cocker spaniel breeders. Sharing passions is the key to a long-term relationship. I know a couple who had their dogs as bridesmaids.”

If Goose wants to marry Megan and have a gecko crawl with her down the aisle that's FINE BY ME.

Dimple just rang. Her mum is in labour but the hospital have told her to go away till she's more “ready”!

Nicky says labour can go on for ever. His mum was in labour and he went to the cinema. He says after the fourth baby it becomes as normal as “going to school”.

Nicky doesn't go to school very often. How would he know?!

Dimple wasn't at school today and her mobile was off. Nicky says you're probably not allowed to text when your mother is giving birth.

OMG – Nicky was actually with his mum when she had his little brothers Javier and Nemanja. He said she just shouted even more than normal but weirdly swore less.

Dimple just texted. Her mum had a little boy at 3 p.m. They've called him Amitabh – it's after another film star!

Nicky says his brothers and sisters are named after Manchester United players. His dad thinks it's lucky.

Nathan is singing something very loudly and very annoyingly in his bedroom. Dimple is really happy about having a brother. She has NO IDEA!

Dimple was telling us all about her mum today. As soon as Mrs Rathod had got home she had to go straight back to hospital again! Labour sounds horrendous.

It's unbelievable what people will go through for a family!

Dimple's mum had forgotten how bad labour was – apparently you block it out. Apparently adults can block out lots of things, I've noticed – actual children being born (Dad, prior to last year!), the pain and agony that their children are going through (Mum!) and the TOTAL embarrassment that their grandchildren experience whenever they are around (Gran!).

Nicky says it's all worth it in the end as “family is the most important thing in the world”.

Nicky IS kind.

Dear Megan Fenton – STOP GIGGLING IN GOOSE'S BEDROOM NEXT DOOR. THEN STOP GOING QUIET. That means you are obviously snogging and you make me sick.

I don't have to be civil in this diary to ANYONE.

According to Dimple, all Amitabh does all day is eat, cry and sleep occasionally for 15 minutes at a time. It's the worst jet lag ever on Earth!

Nicky has invited me round his house tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous because his family sound completely crazy.

Gran just called my mob and asked if she could have a leg of lamb for her birthday instead of flowers.