OMG! I'm in Love with a Geek! (31 page)

Nicky has emailed me again. Did I get his song?

I don't know what to write back!

Gran says NEVER in the history of time have men splashed out on flowers saying, “Well done. You're quite nice.” She says Nicky LOVES ME but, like many men, can't say it.

Like all the men in my life ever.

Gran thinks I should give Nicky a chance just like you should “try the curried mushrooms on the salad bar before you opt for the coleslaw”.

She's STILL spending too much time at the supermarket.

Email from Keith. He has a special sensor in his head that knows when I LEAST want to hear from him and when it's the WORST possible time.

Typical of Keith to complicate everything by doing actually NOTHING!

Gran thinks this would be the chance of a lifetime.

Mum says she'd miss me A LOT.

OMG – is MGK definitely going?

I've got massive coursework this week – WHY IS THIS HAPPENING NOW?

Of course MGK is going. She'll probably wear a bikini on the plane.

Mum says I should go and see Keith. Why does she want to get rid of me?

She says she doesn't but she thinks it's important I have a relationship with my father.

I have to make a decision on Australia, work out Nicky and do some stupid homework about my body.

I wish humans were just heads with wheels. Life and exams would be so much easier.

I just asked Gran for more of her advice. All she could go on about was how her foot lady is moving and how the new chiropodist has had 2 husbands – both of whom have been in wheelchairs. She kept saying, “I won't trust her with my feet, Hattie.”

I said, “Gran. Please help me. I can't decide what to do about Keith.”

Gran said, “Let me have a think about it. I'll call you later once my ingrown toenail has stopped throbbing.”

Gran rang to give me her advice. Apparently “love can wait” and I will be a “more attractive” woman if I travel the world. HOW DOES THAT WORK?

I can't even think.

I need to concentrate on my insides. Not feelings – the actual squishy kidneys and stuff.

Handed in my stupid work today. Who cares about hormones regulating the function of organs?! Their real role is to make you a total mental. You can't concentrate on major life decisions!

I've decided I have to tell Nicky it's over. He doesn't treat me well and he's NEVER at school. I've become a craptaculatar pathetic girl that just wants to make her boyfriend happy. Plus there's someone else complicating matters. I'm avoiding them both!

I have made 2 MAHOOSIVE decisions with the help of Dimple and Jen today.

BIG DECISION 1:

Firstly I have made the decision NOT to finish with Nicky OR go out with him either. I have asked Nicky for space. It's easy as he is NEVER usually at school or even anywhere near me.

BIG DECISION 2:

I've also decided to GO to Australia. Dimple had a month in India and she says she definitely came back thinking how lucky she was and how great her parents were. PLUS it's better than working in Mum's cafe over the summer or listening to Gran talk about her “corns”.

Nicky has agreed to give me space. He texted:

NO KISSES?!

Goose just emailed me.

Bet Dimple told him.

Oh, Goose.

2 kisses!

You are sweet but you mess my head up SO MUCH.

Princess is involved in a relationship with a mangy dog. Mum keeps saying to Gran, “Have you had her done?” Mum is obsessed with accidental pregnancies! Just because she had one!

I am concentrating on Princess's love life because I can't think about my own. Mine is too complicated.