Authors: Alexandra Vos
Please let me come
and pick you up. You can’t walk home alone.
I really tried not
to let myself smile, but the corner of my lips still turned up. I let him know
my mum had picked me up in the shortest number of words, but clung tight to my
phone and wished there was an easy solution to this.
My lips shouldn’t
have still been tingling and I shouldn’t still have been focusing on it, but I
had to have tonight before I was completely consumed by guilt.
I’d finally gotten
to kiss Luke, and it was as good as I could have imagined.
Chapter Eight
It was with a
stony expression that I pulled into the school car park the next morning. I
wasn’t prepared to face Luke at all, and I definitely wasn’t capable of having
a conversation with Phoebe. I had my day all planned out – I wasn’t with either
of them in lessons today and at lunchtime, the library would be my safety zone.
It was foolproof.
I could avoid this
problem until it just went away, was what I attempted to tell myself. There was
no point in remembering that I was supposed to be working with Luke tonight,
and nearly every night after that.
Getting through
the school day was my only priority right now.
I’d gotten to
school later than normal to further this plan. Unfortunately, it had left me
stuck parked next to Jamie. He was sat in his car, scribbling something into
his school diary, but the moment I stepped out of my car, he opened his
passenger door and invited me in. “Forgot to get my mum to sign it this week. I
don’t even know why we still have to do this at nearly eighteen. I thought it
would stop after the age of ten.”
I chuckled,
leaning over to check out his poorly forged signature. “Yeah, it’s pretty
stupid. Loads of schools don’t even bother with school uniform for sixth form
anymore, but we get sent home if our tights have got a rip in.” There was no
way this was preparing us for university.
“I know, right? My
cousin doesn’t even call his teachers miss and sir, just their first names. Our
school really messed this whole adult thing up. Anyway, I pulled you in here
because I wanted to ask you something. The other day you were saying about my
grandparents and stuff and I just wanted to say that I did have a reason for
really not wanting to stay in this weekend.”
I raised an
eyebrow. I already knew where this was going. “Go on.”
“I was hoping to ask
you out somewhere. My grandparents decided they’re going out for dinner by
themselves on the Friday anyway, so I’m actually free, if you did want to do
something.”
He sent me an
impish smile and I hoped he couldn’t tell mine was fake. Jamie was nice, he was
a nice and available guy and I should have been all over him. “I’d love to.” It
was one date, that wasn’t enough to string him on, but it was enough to see if
maybe I could transfer my affections for Luke onto him instead.
Nice and
available. That was what I needed.
Jamie beamed,
shoving his planner back into his back and tapping his feet. “That’s awesome.
I’ll pick you up at seven. It’s nowhere fancy, just a little Italian, that all
right?” He’d obviously planned it all out before asking me.
“That’s great.”
“Okay, well, we
should really dash. I think we’re seriously late now, but it was definitely
worth it.”
I chuckled and got
out of the car, trying to hold back any kind of depressing emotions. This was a
good thing; I had a date, which was something I hadn’t done in forever. My one
real relationship hadn’t been great and I’d not had much luck since then. This
was a great development in my love life.
I practically
walked into Luke when I stood up and it caused me to jump, stepping backwards
automatically. “We need to talk.” It was a monotone statement, but Luke’s
expression gave away all the distaste he felt. “Now.”
Jamie grinned as
he stepped out of the driver’s seat and I cringed. If he mentioned our date I’d
die inside. “Hey mate, I’m gonna head to class. Guess we’re all late today.”
“Sure thing, see
you later, then.”
“See you Jamie,” I
called, praying that was it. He continued to grin at me, but that was all.
Luke made a noise
of irritation, before pointing to a café over the road. “Come on, let’s get
this over and done with.”
I nodded and
followed, trailing slightly behind and staring up at the back of his head. I
really didn’t want this, it was everything I’d been hoping to avoid. What was
even the point in talking about it? It was in my head, running on replay, I
didn’t need to say anything out loud. I needed to stay as far away from Luke as
was humanly possible.
We slid into a booth
in the corner, sitting opposite each other. It was a quaint little café, with
only a few tables and classic gingham table cloths. I stared at the gathering
of flowers at the centre of the table and resisted the urge to check whether
they were fake. “What is there to say about it?”
Luke didn’t get
time to respond, because an older lady had approached our table with pen and
paper in hand. She eyed our uniforms suspiciously, but it couldn’t have been
too surprising. We did have free periods and this café must have been a
frequented destination. “What can I get you two?”
“A cappuccino,
please,” Luke had only glanced at the menu, whilst I studied it in detail. I
pulled a face at his choice. I’d never been able to stomach coffee.
“Just a hot
chocolate for me, please.”
She took note and
whisked herself behind the counter to get the drinks ready. Hot chocolate was
normally hit or miss, so I hoped I’d made the right choice. “Do you think we
should tell Phoebe?” Luke brought our conversation right to the topic at hand.
“Of course we
should tell Phoebe. We did a really shit thing.” It was the obvious answer and
we both knew it. Telling Phoebe was the only real option.
Luke frowned and
nodded. “I guess that’s settled then. There isn’t really much to talk about.”
The woman placed
down our drinks and we both thanked her with a false smile.
“How long have you
been friends with Phoebe?” Luke sipped on his drink and burnt his tongue. In
any other situation, I would have laughed loudly.
I pretended to
think about it. “Ten years. Ever since she moved to Sheffield. We sat together
in all our lessons.”
“You can’t tell
her. I’m going to break up with her and that’s that. It’ll all be forgotten
about and you can stay friends. I think that’s fair.” I was expecting it to be
painful for Luke to say that, but he just looked despondent, staring into his
drink. “It was my fault. I kissed you. I’m going to break up with her, but you
should get to stay friends.”
“I can’t-”
“Yes, you can. I
guess there wasn’t really much to talk about, huh?”
I finally tried my
drink, glad for the distraction, and found it was one of the bad ones. She’d
just used water and no milk. “What about us?”
“There is no
‘us’.”
“You know that’s
not what I meant,” I snapped. I didn’t expect there to be an ‘us’ just because
Phoebe had moved out of the picture. “I meant that we work together, and that
I’m supposed to be helping out with your German.”
“I can’t quit my
job.” He was still staring at the cup, either unable or unwilling to look up at
me. I was being so selfish here, getting to keep Phoebe whilst Luke gave her
up. I should explain exactly what happened and get it over and done with. She
could start university next year with a clean slate; without a cheating
boyfriend and best friend.
I gripped my cup
until it was painful. “I’d quit, if that was what you wanted.”
“It’s not. I don’t
want any of this, at all.”
I sighed, trying
to fish out a marshmallow. “I don’t want any of this either. I’ll keep my job
and see how it goes. I still want to give you half my pay check.”
“I feel awful
taking your money.”
“Why? I’m offering
it. I don’t need it, I just want to help. It’s not really a big deal.” I
couldn’t play the excuse that I was doing it for the benefit of their
relationship anymore, anyway.
Luke finally
looked up, giving me a small, real smile. I smiled back automatically. “Thank
you. I really, really appreciate it.”
“It’s fine,
really.”
We lapsed into a
weird silence and I felt tears prickling at the corner of my eyes. I wondered
when the next time I’d have a normal conversation with Luke would be. It had
just been getting good; we’d figured out a good relationship with actual
conversation and playful jabs rather than mean ones. Now, work would be awful
and seeing each other in school would be non-existent.
Especially if he
found out I was going out with Jamie, which was inevitable when they were such
good friends.
I should tell him
now, rip the band aid off and get it over and done with. I stared and his
downcast expression, ready to open my mouth, before deciding I was being an
idiot. I was thinking of telling him because I thought he’d be annoyed or
angry, but he was mourning the loss of Phoebe, not me. I’d been a stupid
mistake that had cost him his girlfriend.
The tears came
back, but I blinked them away as best as possible. “We should go,” I ground
out, leaving half my drink and standing up. “There’s no point in sitting around
and talking about this stuff anymore. We’ve figured everything out, right?” I
was bitter and not good at hiding it. It didn’t matter what Luke thought of me.
He probably loathed me, or would, in the near future.
“Oh, sure. I guess
so.” He stood up, leaving half his drink, too. “I guess that is everything.”
I pulled out my
purse and tipped far too much, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to get out of
here and being forced to talk to the owner wasn’t part of that plan. “Well-”
I was engulfed in
a hug, my face smushed into Luke’s chest. His arms were so tight around me it
was almost painful, but I revelled in it. He pressed a gentle kiss to the top
of my head. “I think it would have been better if you taught me German a few
months ago,” he whispered with a choked voice and a tear slipped down my cheek.
If Phoebe had been
removed from the equation, maybe Luke and I could have actually worked
something out.
Maybe we could
have been happy.
Chapter Nine
Tyler had already
commented on how sullen we looked once and that it was off-putting to the
customers, but keeping a fake smile on my face was incredibly difficult. I was
sure it still looked more like a grimace. Tyler had probably just given up on
telling us now and had shut the door to his office.
I couldn’t blame
him, the tension in the air was unbearable. I’d never wanted to leave somewhere
so badly.
Luke and I had
been completely silent towards each other, the extent of our conversation being
orders that needed filling. I wanted desperately to make conversation, but my
mind was blank. Our heavy mood hung over the entire room and I just wanted it
to go away. I needed some reprieve.
“Carmen?” I
blinked, looking up from where I’d been shovelling chips to the woman Luke was
serving at the counter. “What are you doing?”
“Ah, working, I
guess.” I pulled a sheepish face and took Luke’s place at the counter, facing
my mum. She looked torn between looking aghast and proud. She was beyond
offended I hadn’t told her.
“You didn’t think
to mention this to me?” She folded her arms, eyebrows knitted.
Our relationship
had gone so downhill that I hadn’t even thought to tell her I had a job. “I
don’t know, really. I didn’t think about it.” I looked at the till awkwardly.
“Did you want to order something?”
She shook her head
in exasperation, barking out her order for two. Richard was probably in the car
outside.
“I’ll tell you
when I get home, if you’ll be in,” I offered. Luke had been right, when we’d
talked on the first night. I didn’t want to let things get so out of hand that
our relationship was irreparable. I still loved my mum and following recent
events, I really needed someone I trusted in my life.
I was ashamed to
admit that I was beginning to understand her position.
“Okay, I’ll be
in.”
Luke handed me the
order without looking at me, and I handed it to my mum. “Catch you later mum.”
I turned to Luke,
but his face told me he wasn’t planning on offering an opinion. I hung my head
and memorised the order of the till buttons.
It had to get
better eventually.
***
The vibration from
a text message put me on edge. If it was from Phoebe, I wouldn’t want to reply
and if it was from Luke, something had to be horribly wrong. There was no one
else who ever text me to get in contact.
No one apart from
the stalker, I realised, when the withheld number lit up my screen.
I hadn’t read the
message yet, but I could see the attachment. I opened it, wanting to punch
something. It was Luke and I, locked in a pixelly embrace in his kitchen. I had
to take a few deep breaths before bringing myself to read the message.
If he’d got us in
a choke hold before, now were rendered completely useless. I’d have done
anything he said, including meeting him at school with Luke, which was what his
message required.
There was no
indication of what he wanted, other than for us to meet him there. I should
have gone alone; manned up and taken the fall so that Luke didn’t have to get
involved, but I was too chicken for that. Besides, openly disobeying one of his
commands when he’d got that picture on his phone probably wasn’t the best idea.
So I dialled Luke’s
number with a knot in my stomach. He’d be angry. “What’s up?” I could hear
Phoebe talking in the background and knew it couldn’t have been worse timing.
His tone and words did a good job of being normal.
“He text me, he
has a picture of us,” there was no point in beating about the bush. “He wants
us to drive to the school.” Getting off the phone whilst he was still with
Phoebe was probably the biggest priority.
Luke paused for a
long moment. “Okay, I’ll be right there. See you later mum, love you.” His tone
was terse and there was just a hint of fear. Phoebe was going to know something
was wrong.
I sat in my car,
parked outside my house, and waited for Luke to call me back. Tapping my
steering wheel didn’t offer any of the normal stress-release and I couldn’t
bring myself to turn on the radio. My mind was filled with the possibilities of
what he might want. It was bound to be something awful, something that keeping
my relationship with Phoebe probably wasn’t worth.
The phone buzzed
and I put it straight to my ear. “Hi.”
“I need you to
take me to Luke’s house, it’s urgent,” Phoebe rushed her words and it sounded
like she was pulling her shoes on.
I really didn’t
need this right now. “Why, what’s happened?”
“His mum was on
the phone and he had to leave straight away. There’s something wrong, I know
it. I need to be there for him.”
I wasn’t sure why
she couldn’t see that if he needed her there, he would have just given him a
lift herself. “How do you know he’s even gone home?”
“He said he was.”
“If he wanted you
there, I’m sure he’d have said. He probably wants to just work this out himself
and then tell you about it, or something.”
Phoebe wasn’t
convinced. “I can help make whatever the problem is better,” I heard her front
door shut. “He’s just too proud to ask me. I should be there.”
“You don’t even
know what’s wrong. It might be nothing important, it might be something private
within his family. You can’t just turn up.”
“Carmen please, I
really need you to do this for me.”
“I’m sorry, I really
can’t give you a lift. I need to go, anyway. I’ll talk to you later. I’m sure Luke
is fine.” I winced when I hung up and saw the dozen messages Luke had sent me
and even more missed calls. There was no point in reading whatever expletives
he had for me now, I just returned his call instead. “Phoebe rang me,” I cut
off whatever he’d been about to say. “Asking for a lift. You know how
persistent she is.”
“Well, whatever.
Just meet me at the garage around the corner from school.”
“Okay,” I hung up
and sped off, knowing he’d probably already be there. Phoebe lived close to
school.
I pulled up beside
him, climbing out of my own vehicle and joining him in his. The heat blasted
into my face, but I still felt pale and cold. I handed Luke the phone to let
him see the picture and the message. “You can kind of tell it’s us.”
Luke nodded
slowly, hand curling into a fist. I jumped when he hit his steering wheel.
“What the fuck? As if I needed this right now.”
My eyes remained
downcast whilst he worked his anger out. “I know. We have to do what he says,
don’t we? Or, at least go and find out what he wants.”
“Yeah, we do. Come
on, let’s get it over and done with.”
He drove at a
sluggish pace, taking my hand in his and squeezing once just as we turned the
corner. “He’s not going to hurt you, don’t worry.”
I tried to let
that settle the nerves, but all it did was make my cheeks heat up slightly. Of
course he would protect me if he could, just as I’d protect him. The hand
squeeze… that was perhaps more questionable. I tried not to think about it.
We parked up and
were met by the familiar blue Ford, parked in front of the school gates without
a care in the world. I tugged at my hair, glancing at Luke. He cut the engine
and opened his door with an attempt at a reassuring glance.
The man stepped
out of the car wearing a balaclava and he had such a generic stature that it
was impossible to identify him. Maybe his voice would give him away.
The computerised
voice coming from his mobile meant there was no way I could tell who he was. He
just still just the madman in the rundown car that had some kind of vengeance
against us. “You’re here, together, how adorable.” If it had been any other
situation, I would have found the clunky pronunciation of the computer hilarious,
but I was too on edge for that. Instead, I just inched closer to Luke, really
trying not to hide behind his tall stature. “Now, I’m sure you saw the picture.
It’s not quite as clear as I’d have liked. I think we need to take a new one.”
Luke and I glanced
at each other uneasily. “You want us to kiss again?”
The man produced a
camera and grinned. “Exactly. If you refuse, I could of course just send the
lovely Phoebe the picture I already have, but I’m sure you wouldn’t want to
risk that.” The phone pronounced Phoebe’s name so awfully it took me a moment
to realise what it was saying.
It was a much less
horrifying request than it could have been and part of me was even excited – I
couldn’t help it. A minute ago, I’d never been going near Luke again and now we
got to lock lips, even if it was under duress.
I wondered if Luke
felt that streak of excitement, too, or if his brief attraction to me had
already waned.
Either way, we
were forced to face each other and the man held his camera up expectantly. Luke
opened his mouth and his lip quirked, but he held in whatever joke he’d been
tempted to say. Instead, I had to stand on my tiptoes and Luke placed the
quickest kiss I’d ever experienced on my lips.
The flash broke
through the darkness, but there was no way he’d managed to capture the moment.
“Don’t mess me around,” he snapped it out in his real voice this time, even
though it had been several tones lighter than his real voice could have
possibly been. I felt sure I should have recognised it, but nothing clicked in
my head.
Luke cleared his
throat and my attention was drawn back to him. Pushing our luck again would be
a stupid move.
So we’d have to
really kiss this time.
Our lips touched
without softness. It was a hard kiss that gave our stalker exactly what he
wanted, but also satisfied the desire that swam through me whenever I laid eyes
on Luke nowadays. My hands didn’t have time to move and run through that thick
black hair, but Luke’s fingers dug into my hips almost painfully.
The flashing of
the camera broke our embrace, and I hated the deep breaths that echoed into the
silence. I wanted to be able to do that every day, whenever I wanted, not
because a stalker was blackmailing us into it.
“Thank you so
much,” the robotic voice was back as the man flashed his teeth at us once more.
“I’m sure that will be enough to keep me happy for now. I do hope it wasn’t too
awful for either of you. I’ll be seeing you at some point, I’m sure. Ta-ta for
now.” He sped off in the car that haunted my dreams and let Luke and I standing
far too close to each other, each unsure of what to say.
I jumped when Luke
pressed his hands to my arms. “You okay?”
“I’m fine,” it
wasn’t exactly a lie. That was far less traumatic than it could have been.
“Just… I don’t know, really. Sad, I guess.”
Luke wrapped his
arms around me in a tight hug. “We’ll figure some way out of this,” he
attempted to promise. “There has to be something.”
I didn’t want to
listen to what he was saying, I just wanted to revel in the feeling of his arms
around me and block everything else out. “We have evidence,” I muttered
instead, resisting the urge to bury my head in his chest and never come out.
“If we went to the police we could prove it. If only my dad hadn’t messed up
where he was staying.” And if only I hadn’t thought it was acceptable to fall for
my best friend’s boyfriend.
Then maybe this
entire thing could be over.
“We’ll work
something out,” Luke repeated, not giving either of us hope. This hadn’t been
too bad, but he surely wasn’t going to stick to making us kiss in the future.
There was some purpose behind this and it would be revealed to us soon enough.