Off Limits (18 page)

“I kind of love
the cold weather,” I admitted as he exited my room and knocked on Phoebe’s.
“Being all wrapped up and cosy and stuff. I always loved being inside when I
knew it was freezing outside.”

Luke chuckled.
“Sharing a single bed definitely helps with the feeling cosy part.” Our minds
were sent back to our first night together and a sad smile graced my face.

“Yeah, for sure.”

Phoebe emerged
with an expectant smile, judging our appearances and then letting it widen.
“Let’s go!”

Luke and I walked
in practical silence down to the sea front. Phoebe’s family walked four abreast
and talked animatedly about things I didn’t care about, whilst I took in the
rustic, old town and wondered why people would ever choose to live at the seaside.
There must have been sand everywhere all the time. It would get on my nerves
far too much.

“This place looks
good,” Phoebe’s dad gestured to the first fish and chip place we came across.

“I hope it’s
better than the place we’re working at,” Luke grumbled. Our chippy didn’t have
the best food, but we got it for free so that was good enough for the both of
us.

“What are you having?”
I checked with Luke, pulling out my purse and standing in queue.

“I’m not really
hungry,” he dismissed, seeing Phoebe beckon him towards the benches we’d be
sitting on to eat. “Just get yourself something. I might pick a few.”

It seemed like a
waste to have a sausage when we were beside the sea, but I’d never been a big
fish eater. I piled on the curry sauce, knowing that Luke was just as much of a
fan as me.

Phoebe, Luke and I
crammed onto a bench which overlooked the sand. The tide was coming in, slowly
but surely, but it was a long way out right now. I could barely see the black
waves tickling the shore. I placed the chips on my lap and gestured to Luke to
take as many as he wanted. I had the feeling his appetite would come back quite
quickly when he ate the first one.

I was right. After
the first chip, Luke scoffed them down with no remorse, giving me a guilty
smile when they were all gone. “I’ll get the next lot and I’ll let you eat some
of these, I promise.”

I chuckled and
handed him the empty polystyrene tray to throw away whilst he was going. Phoebe
turned to me the second he was out of earshot. “I don’t know what to do, I’ve
never seen him like this before.”

“Just try and keep
him talking, even if it’s about random stuff. Distraction is nice.”

Phoebe tapped her
hand against her leg. “I’m just so scared I’m going to make it worse. He gets
really angry about these things.”

“He’d never take
his anger out on you, though.” Besides, he was less angry and more despairing
right now.

“Why do you know
what to do and I don’t?” Phoebe lamented, burying her face in her hands.

I was almost at a
loss as to what to respond to that. Because we love each other? “I was just
there when it happened, I guess.”

“But he tells you
things that he doesn’t tell me. He still never explained the whole situation
with his dad. He’s so distant. It just seems like he doesn’t want to be with me
at all.”

I glanced around
to make sure Phoebe’s family’s bench was far enough away that they couldn’t
overhear. “The baby thing is hard on him.”

“When did he tell
you about it?”

“He came straight
to mine after being at yours,” I admitted. Maybe telling the truth would make
her see that this wasn’t all rainbows. Just because she wanted it didn’t mean Luke
was over the moon too.

“What did he say?
What was he like?”

“He was crying.” Luke
wouldn’t thank me for this and maybe I was just being a bitch, but Phoebe
needed to understand. She needed some things putting in perspective if hers and
Luke’s relationship was ever going to work. She needed to know what he was
really like and what he really thought.

Phoebe looked
crestfallen. “I knew he was upset, but I didn’t think he was that upset. I
just, he seemed like he’d come around to the idea by the time he was leaving mine.”

“Phoebe he had a
whole life planned out. Going to university, getting a job.” He had crippling
debts, a baby wasn’t going to help that in the slightest. “This is like a bomb
has been dropped. He’ll come around and he’ll love the baby, but it’s going to
take more than a few weeks to accept that this is the future.”

I wasn’t quite
sure why Phoebe wasn’t a bit more devastated that her own uni plans had been
dashed. She’d been looking at uni since way before we had to start applying.
She had a dancing career if she wanted it. She had everything and it was going
down the drain for this baby.

Maybe I just
wasn’t maternal enough.

Phoebe sighed. “He
can still go to university. I said I didn’t mind staying at home and stuff
while he did that. He’d selected Sheffield as his first choice anyway.”

“I know. Just give
him time. Try talking to him about it when we get back from the trip.”

Phoebe nodded and
rested her head on my shoulder. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

She’d be fine, I
told myself. Her and Luke would work out their differences and she wouldn’t
need me anymore.

Thankfully, Luke
returned soon afterwards. Phoebe launched into conversation with him, taking my
advice to heart, and there was a smile on his face soon afterwards. I tried not
to feel sad and accept that I’d done a good thing.

Luke being happy
was my only priority.

Chapter Sixteen

My night didn’t
involve a lot of sleep. It was two in the morning and I couldn’t get my eyes to
stay shut. Lying flat and staring up at the ceiling, I decided a walk was what
I needed. Some fresh sea air and exhaustion would hopefully make me more tired.
Maybe it would wash away my endless miserable thoughts.

Pulling on all my
warm layers of clothing, I grabbed my door key and exited the room.

I practically ran
into Luke, who was stood outside my door with his fist raised. He must have
heard me rustling about trying to find clothes. He was wrapped up in comfy
clothing to and I smiled at him, shutting my door and starting the walk towards
the elevator.

“Couldn’t sleep?”
I checked.

“Nope, been awake
for hours. Phoebe made me push the beds together, so I’ve been sweltering in
there as well. I just want some cold air.”

I nodded and
pushed the button for the ground floor. Scarborough wasn’t busy anyway at this
time of year, but at two in the morning it was deserted. Bleak and empty and I
loved it.

A grin spread
across my face we started our way down towards the beach. The tide had come all
the way in now, too. Street lights lit up the promenade and Luke and I walked
along in a comfortable silence. I could hear the black waves now they were
closer and I revelled in the sound of it. I hadn’t been to the seaside since my
parents were actually getting on.

I spotted a large
rock in the distance that jutted out into the sea and tugged on Luke’s coat.
“Let’s go climb it.”

He looked a bit
unsure, but indulged me anyway. “We’re not doing it if it looks dangerous when
we get there,” he warned. We were walking close enough together that our arms
brushed against each other every now and then. I resisted the urge to vacate
the warmth of my pocket to hold his hand.

The rock was
further than I thought, but our small talk made it go quickly. There was no
need to delve into the deep problems right now; chatting about our pasts and
our families and things we just enjoyed doing was enjoyable enough.

The rock was also
bigger than I thought. But, it had the perfect footholds to get on top. They
were probably man made. I gestured to Luke and he sighed, letting me go first
so that he could catch me if I fell. We were close enough to the promenade that
the streetlights gave us enough vision.

On top of the
rock, I grinned. My heart raced a bit as I walked to the end and stuck my head
out over the top. The waves were a threatening black, mysterious and dark and
startlingly beautiful. I’d never been to the beach in the middle the night
before, but it was definitely gorgeous.

Luke took his
stance behind me and wrapped secure arms around my waist. “There’s no way I’m
letting you fall in the sea,” he muttered, sticking his head out a bit too.

“I don’t know how
people stay at sea for days and days. I think I’d hate a cruise.”

Luke shrugged.
“I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to afford a cruise anyway, so it’s a good job
I’m not bothered.”

Chuckling, I
almost lost my footing. Luke shook his head and dragged me backwards. “Let’s go
and sit down. I really don’t want to have the coastguard out here.”

We picked a seat
on the sand, our backs against the concrete of the raised promenade. Luke
opened his legs so I could sit between them and we fitted perfectly together, Luke
tight arms encasing me so that it was impossible to feel unsafe.

“I’m going to
break-up with Phoebe,” Luke told me, his chin digging into my head when he
spoke.

I tried to twist
and look at his face, but Luke kept me where I was. “Why?”

“Because I’ll be
miserable for the rest of my life if I stay.”

I kept quiet,
wanting to jump for joy, but knowing it wasn’t the right reaction to have.

“I just don’t like
her that much. I definitely can’t ever love her. She’d have found out about
this in the end, anyway. I can’t stay away from you no matter how hard I try,” Luke
kissed the top of my head and my lips quirked.

“I think you’re
doing the right thing.” I’d thought it all along, but there was no point in
reminding him of that. “You can still be there for a child without being with
the parent. You’re a good guy, it’s not like your dad at all.”

“I know. If I
could bring myself to stay with her I would, but it’s not going to work. I’ll
tell her as soon as we’re back in Sheffield.”

I paused, wanting
desperately to ask him the question, but not daring to hear the answer.

“I want to give us
a shot at working,” Luke confirmed, finally allowing me to turn around so that
he could press a kiss to my cheek. “I’ll tell Phoebe everything now and then by
the time the baby is born, she’ll have forgiven me enough to let me see it. At
least, that’s what I’m hoping. She can’t legally block me out of its life
anyway.”

I captured his
lips in mine properly, a short kiss that conveyed just how pleased I was by his
response. “I really want this to work,” I admitted. At some point I was going
to have to decide how much I could really deal with being with someone who had
a child, but Luke was would be worth. Luke was worth everything. “Really bad.”

Luke tightened me
back in his arms and grinned, nuzzling his face into my wild, wavy hair. “Me
too. Also I think my mum is starting to miss you, so she’ll definitely be
behind my decision.”

“Did you tell her
about Phoebe yet?” I couldn’t imagine she’d react well to that at all.

Luke practically
flinched. “Not yet. I’m hoping to put that off for as long as possible. She’s
going to be devastated, I know it.”

“She’ll come
around. We’ll all come around eventually.”

Luke nodded once
and prodded me in the side. “We should get going. We’re going to be insanely
tired tomorrow if we don’t sleep soon.”

“I think it might
be past that point,” I yawned right on time. “But sure. I’m getting pretty
tired and, even wrapped up this tightly, a bit chilly too.”

Luke offered me a
hand and we started the walk back together. We did hold hands this time, our
fingers laced tightly together and big grins on both our faces. There was nothing
more that could spring itself on us. We’d had the worst and we’d dealt with it.

We were going to
be okay.

I hoped Phoebe
could get over it one day. Being pregnant would send her hormones all over the
place, but her parents could help her out when she told them and her other
friends would be there for her. She’d be okay.

She’d be better
than if she and Luke stayed together and it came out he’d been sleeping with me
later down the line, that was for sure.

At my room, Luke
checked in both directions and gave me a peck on the lips.

I fell into a
contended sleep almost straight away.