Oblivion (21 page)

“Ain’t for none of us to decide, Kid, which is why we don’t.”

Jace was frustrated with the answer. “You keep saying that! I don’t agree.”

“Look at it this way,” Merrick said and tossed his smoke over the side. “None of us has a right to judge another down here. I wish we could toss his ass to the demons as much as you do, but it ain’t our call, Jace.”

Jace fumed to know Merrick was right. Jose would be judged, as would the rest of them, but not by any one of them, but by a higher power he had yet to see or confirm.  In the meantime, they would have to tolerate Drea’s murderer. It galled him to know what that would feel like was Cameron to join their ranks. He prayed Drea moved on to that other place, and soon. It was tense out on patrols each night.

“Where we going tonight?” he asked trying to change the subject.

“Raymond said he and the others are setting up shop at the edge of town. We cover this side and take down spooks.”

“Anybody here anything about Will and Goose yet?”

“Those dumb Newbies probably got took by a demon the first night out. They didn’t believe us when we told them they’re better off with us. We tried to tell them.”

“Wait, I thought they just ran off?” Jace asked in confusion. “You let them go?”

“Don’t look at me like that, Kid. I didn’t have no say in it. Raymond called the shots. He got tired of them blowing off their responsibilities and told them if they didn’t like it to leave. They did. Ain’t seen or heard from them since.”

Jace was irritated Raymond got some say in who stayed and who left. In truth, he couldn’t fault his reasoning, but he had yet to warm up to the Union officer from Civil War times. He resented his influence. Raymond would likely kick him and Daphne out of their ranks if he caught wind of what they were doing. The others would no doubt follow him.

“You tried a lot harder with me, as I recall.”

Merrick grinned. “Again, Kid, you was worth my time. Ya can’t save the ones who don’t want to be saved. You’ll learn that real quick.”

“It seems pointless.”

“Yeah, well good, bad or otherwise, that’s what we got down here.”

 Jace sat outside long after Merrick went in to get cleaned up. He was in conflict with what he was planning on doing now and eager for Daphne to return to tell him about her experiences as a ghost.

He laughed as he thought of Caspar the Friendly Ghost. Somehow he didn’t think it would be quite so light and amusing. The thought of possibly scaring Lindsay or the kids bothered him.

~ ~ ~

Lindsay finished up her shift in the grocery store and went to the back to punch out. The cashier job was easy and the customers were all known to her. Mr. Merriman wasn’t demanding. She was content to serve out the summer as a cashier for her room and board. She had enough extra money from her mother for whatever she needed.

Lance moved in with her and took her mom’s old room. He was a comfort to her these last weeks before graduation. They didn’t argue about her staying here anymore. She allowed him to think he won the argument. It was far from resolved. She got used to wearing the wire, never knowing whether Cameron or his friends would approach her at the store. By now everyone knew she worked at Merriman’s.

The harassment was nonstop. Phone calls began in the middle of the night with warnings and insults. The tires were cut on the station wagon and somebody spray painted the words ‘narc’ all over it in neon pink paint. Lance got it off, luckily. Dead rats were left on the doorstep of the apartment. Kids came into the store and made no bones about what they thought of her, taunting her as they came through the check out. One guy even spit in her face before Merriman tossed him out.

Marnie came in one night and looked a bit surprised to see her still working there. Lindsay hadn’t seen her since they went to the Sheriff. She was still angry she threw her under the bus with Cameron, even though she understood.  The girl was dealing with the same kind of treatment. They had that much in common now.

Her hazel eyes were wary as she approached, handing her a five dollar bill. Lindsay eyed the junk food the girl bought and said nothing. It wasn’t her place to lecture her about what she ate during her pregnancy. She scanned her items and bagged them up.

“I expected to see you a couple of weeks ago,” the girl had said, looking a bit guilty to know she sold her out to Cameron. “I’m sorry, but I’m scared.”

“Marnie, I know why you can’t get involved in this. I respect that,” Lindsay allowed under her breath, aware of other shoppers. “I just worried about you.”

She seemed surprised to think Lindsay worried about her. “He was mad but he thinks it’s all you. I didn’t correct him.”

“I don’t mind. Do what you have to do to stay safe.”

“Lindsay, if I were you, I’d be mad at me.”

“You have a baby to look out for. I understand why you said what you did. I also have my brother and my family, you don’t. I don’t blame you for looking out for yourself.”

She looked relieved. “I can tell you one thing; he’s out for your blood. Don’t ever second guess what Cam will do, Lindsay. He wants payback.”

“My brother is here until after graduation. I’m not worried about it.”

Marnie took her bagged purchases and paused before she left. “I’m glad your brother is with you right now. Tell Lance I said hello.”

Lindsay recalled a wistful expression in Marnie’s eyes when she mentioned Lance. She knew her brother had broken his share of hearts in Little Bend. He had girlfriends, but nothing meaningful or lasting.

The suspicion the pair were more than a little acquainted was reinforced when she told Lance what Marnie said and saw him stiffen and refuse to meet her eyes. It was obvious he and Marnie had a relationship in the past, before she got with Cameron.

Lance pulled a drunken Everett Turner out of Hooligan’s twice that week and took him home to Addie Pank’s apartment. The woman now wanted her barfly boyfriend out because he didn’t have an income after losing his kids to the state.

Lindsay knew Lance worried over more than just her these days. He still hadn’t told her he knew he was Everett’s son. To her knowledge he hadn’t even seen their father. She knew Margene had to have seen him at Hooligan’s.

She let herself into the apartment.  Lance wasn’t there but he would be home soon. He was starting to annoy her with his protectiveness. She felt more than safe; she felt stifled. Graduation commencements were three weeks away. Cameron left her alone. His friends and the kids from school did his dirty work, making her miserable.

The word was out. Lindsay was being openly dubbed a narc. The kids in town learned fast Mr. Merriman wouldn’t tolerate their harassing his cashier. He ran off more than a few kids that first week she worked there. He didn’t seem to mind or blame her for being targeted by them. He didn’t ask her why they turned on her. He didn’t ask much of anything.

Lance came home shortly after, an aggravated look on his face. “What is it?”

“I think you should sit down. You may as well hear this from me,” he said and his brown eyes filled with regret. “Margene and Dad are getting married.”

Lindsay looked stunned. True, she knew her father lost his mind over Margene, but marriage? Thoughts of how her mother would react were swiftly dismissed. Deborah and Jack were like newlyweds since they moved in together.

“The divorce isn’t final for another month,” she commented sourly.

Lance laughed sarcastically. “We have a brother or sister on the way.”

Lindsay gasped. “No way! Margene is pregnant?”

Lance looked away and tensed. “She’s nearly six months along, Lindsay. You may as well know it could be mine.”

“We have to tell Dad,” Lindsay insisted and Lance shook his head.

“No, we stay out of it. Dad is a big boy. Look what he did to Mom? He doesn’t deserve to know as far as I’m concerned. What’s he done for you since he kicked you and Mom out?”

“We moved out. He didn’t kick us out,” Lindsay replied in defense of her father.

“Whatever. He hasn’t exactly done much for you since.”

Lindsay saw the remorse in Lance’s expression. “Can you let it go?”

“I saw her when I was in Hooligan’s and she told me. I told her I didn’t want to know if it’s mine. She agreed to stay quiet.”

“Not knowing will still make you wonder.”

“I’m not ready to be a father, Lindsay. I wasn’t serious about Margene,” he disclosed in obvious discomfort.

“That seems to be going around,” she added sourly, thinking of Marnie’s situation.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, just forget I said anything.”

He looked incensed. “No, just spit it out. I want to know what you meant.”

“It’s not fair to keep a secret like that, Lance. It could come out one day. What about the kid? Do you think that’s fair? Besides that, I’m not real happy to know my niece or nephew could be raised as a half-brother or sister, not to mention you would deny our mother her grandchild,” Lindsay finished and looked at him sadly. “Just step up and do the right thing.”

“That won’t go over well with Dad.”

“At least he knows the truth. If he still wants to marry Margene, at least he goes into it with his eyes wide open. Marnie Slade is pregnant too. You might as well know it could be Jace’s. Trust me, I know how this feels,” Lindsay confided and looked miserable. “He died before he could do the right thing. She’s having it and isn’t sure whose it is.”

Lance looked stunned and upset. “That doesn’t sound like Jace to fool around on you.”

“It was only one time and I have to forgive the circumstances,” she said tightly and refused to explain.

“I wouldn’t make a good father, Lindsay,” Lance argued once more.

“How do you know that?” she challenged and shook her head. “You don’t know what kind of a parent you’ll be. Just tell Dad before he makes the mistake of marrying Margene. The thought of her as my stepmother makes me sick.”

Lance laughed. “Come on, Lindsay. She’s not that bad.”

“She goes out of her way to keep Dad away from us and you say that?”

“Lindsay, we both know Dad does what he wants. Don’t make excuses for him. If he cared to see us and be in our lives, Margene wouldn’t have anything to say about it. You can’t blame her for it.”

“Be a man and do the right thing,” she advised and regarded him with compassion. “Don’t let a kid go through life not knowing who his or her real father is.”

Lance got real quiet after their talk. Lindsay thought he meant to confide in her finally and was disappointed when he didn’t. He left after that on some errand. She hoped he went to their Dad and confessed to his affair with Margene. They had enough drama in their lives as it was.

She contented herself with being alone, but thoughts of Jace soon had her upset. She held it together enough to get through the day, but missing him never felt more acute when she was alone. The phone rang and she forced aside her brooding and answered it. It was her mom.

“Hi honey. Just called to see how your day was.”

“It was fine. Everything is going good. How are Dougie and Sara settling in?” she asked, unwilling to put a damper on her mother’s happiness by telling her that she was close to falling apart every second of the day.

“Good, I think this is going to work,” she said in relief. “They’re good kids. I have to say one thing; Jace did a heck of a job with them. They do what their told, no sassing, and no arguments.”

“Yeah, Jace did a good job,” she agreed with a forlorn note in her voice.

“Lindsay, if you want to come by and talk; I’m here. I know all of this is hard on you.”

“I just miss him, Mom.”

“It’ll get better; I promise you,” she was saying, but Lindsay was no longer listening. Tears coursed down her face.

She managed to finish the conversation and said she would be by tomorrow for dinner and hung up, choking on raw sobs of anguish. She went to her room and lay down, curling onto her side to stare at the wall. Would it ever end? Each day began and ended with missing Jace so fiercely she wondered how she could function.

She woke and the room was dark. Sitting up she glanced at the digital bedside clock, alarmed to see it was after nine in the evening. Feeling hungry, she got up and investigated the kitchen.

Her mom stocked up the kitchen for her and Lance before she moved but she couldn’t find anything that sounded good. Settling for a peanut butter sandwich; she went outside and sat on the stairs. Lance wasn’t home and the parking lot was empty except for the station wagon.

Lindsay hugged her knees as she waited for Lance. She knew he was rescuing Everett from Hooligan’s as he did every night since his return. He seemed to think it was his job now that Jace was gone; keeping up with Everett and seeing him home.

Relief was felt when she saw Lance’s silver sedan pull in next to the station wagon. Her brother got out and smiled up at her.

“Wanna go get a pizza?”

“Too late; I had peanut butter,” she called.

“Keep me company then.”

Lindsay was nervous about going to the bowling alley, knowing it was where everyone hung out on the weekend. She reminded herself nobody would dare mess with her with Lance with her.

“Sure, I’ll just be a minute,” she said and got up. She returned inside and checked her appearance, horrified to see she was a mess. She combed her hair and put it in a ponytail and fixed her make-up. She slid on a pair of leather sandals and locked up, meeting her brother at his car.

“I was just about to come after you,” he lamented. “I’m starving.”

“Sorry,” she apologized as she got into his car. “I took a long nap and looked horrible.”

Lance started the car and looked over at her. “I told Dad the truth.”

Lindsay eyed him in surprise. “What did he say?”

“He doesn’t believe me. He told me I was a piece of crap and no son of his.”

“I’m so sorry, Lance.”

“Why? It’s true, Lindsay. I’m not his son and he’s always known it. Everett Turner is my father. I overheard them arguing before Dad filed for divorce. He claims he’s a stand up guy for raising another man’s kid.”

“Mom told me after Jace died. Are you ok about it?”