Nothing Stays In Vegas (34 page)

Ben didn't finish because in the next instant he was running, jumping off the stairs and hurtling towards Leo who had reappeared holding a squirming golden retriever puppy. 

"A puppy!"

"I saw this little guy and there was just something about him. I thought he looked like he needed a little boy to take care of him," Leo said. He put the puppy down on the grass and Ben sat down letting the dog climb all over him, licking his face. 

"Thank you," Ben said between the puppy's licks. "This is awesome." Then remembering something, Ben looked up towards me and said, "Can I keep him, Mom? Please?" 

I did say I'd think about a dog and looking at Leo who was now sitting on the grass across from Ben, the smiles on their faces identical, how could I say no? Of course you can keep him."

Ben squealed and the puppy leapt up at his face, covering it with doggie kisses. He giggled and fell to the ground. Leo winked at me and I knew I'd made the right choice.

###

I spent the rest of the morning watching Ben and Leo playing with the puppy. I struggled to keep my emotions at bay. It was a lot to take in all at once having them together for the first time. The last thing I needed to do was to start crying; that would just upset Ben and confuse him. I tried to focus on the dog instead, and had to admit he was adorable. 

Ben couldn't decide on a name for him, so for now we just referred to him as 'dog'. It didn't matter, because he didn't come when he was called anyway. After a few games of fetch, where Ben did most of the fetching, both boy and dog both crashed at the same time. 

"How about some lunch?" I suggested. "We can find a warm place for the puppy to sleep and once he's rested he'll be ready to play again."

"Can I show Leo the kayak after lunch?" Ben asked as he followed me inside. Leo trailed, carrying the puppy that had already fallen asleep.

"I've never been kayaking," Leo said. 

"What? It's so cool." 

"First," I said, "you eat. Go wash your hands. I'll make sandwiches."

Ben disappeared down the hallway and Leo put the sleeping dog on an old towel I'd laid out by the fireplace. 

"He likes you," I said to him.

"Do you think so?" He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me in a quick squeeze. He planted a kiss on my cheek and pulled away before I could react.

I glanced down the hall.

"Don't worry, he didn't see anything," Leo said.

"It's not that...it's just..."

"I get it," he said. "It's okay. I'm not interested in making this situation harder than it has to be. But you really think he likes me?" 

I had to laugh at the look on his face. The total need to please.

"Of course he does," I said turning back to the counter where I had bread laid out. "You brought him a puppy. What's not to like?"

Chapter Thirty-Four

The water that hit my face was cold, but not icy like I'd expected when we'd first got in the kayak.  

"Hey, Ben," I said. "Try to keep the paddle lower, then maybe I won't get so wet."

He giggled and the sound made me relax. How could I possibly be tense when my son was sitting in front of me and was having fun? Life was good. 

"Sorry, Leo," he said. "I do that to mom too."

"Okay, let's try this again. Ready?"

"Yup."

"When I say, left, put the left side of the paddle in," I instructed. "And then -"

"Which way's left?"

"This side." I raised the left side of the paddle in the air and Ben turned causing the whole boat to shift.

"Whoa." I dropped the paddle and tried to steady the boat. 

"Sorry," Ben said and giggled again.

"Okay, let's try this a different way. Put your paddle in the water."

"Which side," he asked.

"You pick."

Ben put the right paddle in the water.

"Okay, let's say that side is 'boom'. So every time you put that side in the water we'll say, 'boom'."

Ben lifted the oar and dipped it in again, this time he said, "Boom."

"Try again," I prodded. "But every time you say it you have to say it a bit louder and we'll do it together.

Trying to follow his lead I raised my oar and brought it down at the same time as Ben. Together we yelled, "Boom."

Ben laughed and said, "Okay what about the other side?"

"How about when we paddle on the other side we say, 'pow'?"

"Pow"?

"Just try it."

Together we lifted the left side of the oar and this time when we pulled it through the water we said, "Pow."

"That's silly," Ben said. 

"No way," I said. "It sounds cool when you do it together, ready. Start with boom." So we did. We paddled right, left, right calling out, "Boom, pow, boom." 

"That's awesome!" Ben yelled.

"Keep going," I called.

We scared every bird and fish for miles I'm sure, but I didn't care. I was kayaking with my son. I could do this all day. 

I tried to stay in view of the house, but once we got the hang of it, Ben wanted to go a little farther and show me the homes of some of the neighbors. I looked across the lawn and couldn't see Lexi. She must have gone inside.

"Can we go to the point?" Ben asked.

"Okay, but just for a minute, I don't want your mom to get mad at me."

"She won't, I promise." 

I followed Ben's lead and soon we were gliding across the water next to the tree line.  He showed me a few of the neighbor's houses and the public beach where they'd already pulled in the swim line and the raft for the season. 

"I can jump off that dock, ya know?" Ben said.

"I bet you can. You look like a brave boy."

"I am," he agreed. "I have to be."

We stopped paddling and let the boat glide. "What do you mean, you have to be brave?"

"For mom," he said matter of factly. "She's sad a lot."

"You mean since your papa died?"

"No, cause of Dad. Mom said he's not coming."

"How do you feel about that?" I wasn't sure Lexi would like me talking to Ben about this, but he seemed to need someone to talk to.

"I'm glad." He dipped his finger tips in the water, letting them drag. "Cause then we can live here and Mom likes it here."

I didn't know what to say. 

"Ben?"

"Yup."

"You don't always have to brave, you know. Sometimes you can just be you."

"I know," he said his voice quiet, then he brightened. "Leo, look!" 

I followed to where Ben was pointing and saw a deer standing at the edge of the water only a few feet away. She hadn't noticed us, and since our Boom, Pow, Boom had ceased for a few moments, we hadn't managed to scare her away. 

"I don't think I've ever seen a deer this close before."

"For real?" 

"Ssh," I whispered, "don't scare her."

"Everyone's seen a deer," Ben said. 

"Not true. Where I grew up, there isn't a lot of wildlife. Maybe one day I'll take you to visit."

"Cool," Ben said. Then he paused. "Why?"

"It was just a thought. You never know, right?" 

I reminded myself to go slowly, Ben didn't know everything yet and I didn't want to spook him. 

After a moment Ben spoke. His voice was so quiet I had to lean forward to hear him. "You're my other dad, right?"

My chest constricted but I asked, "Your other dad?"

"Mom said I had another dad. Are you?"

I thought about lying to him, or dodging the question, but he was a smart kid and more than that, I wanted him to know. "I am."

"Thought so," he said louder this time. "You look like me."

I smiled and the pressure in my chest released. "You think so?"

"Yup." 

"Are you okay with me being your other dad?"

"Yup. Mom likes you."

I left it at that and we floated in silence for a few moments.

"You know how to fish, right?" Ben asked quite seriously.

I laughed. "Yes, I know how to fish."

"Good."

"Hey," I said to his back, "we should get back. Your mom might be getting worried." 

Ben nodded and in the way that only little boys can, he summoned energy I didn't know he had, raised his right arm and driving the paddle into the water, yelled, "Boom!" 

The deer ran off and we were shooting across the water back to the cabin.

It didn't take long to get back with our new paddling strategy. Lexi still wasn't outside. I pulled the kayak up alongside of the dock with a lot less effort than I thought it would take and Ben jumped out with ease while I held us close. 

"Can you hold the rope, Ben?" He took the rope I offered him and using the paddle for balance, I pushed myself into a crouching position. 

"Don't fall," Ben said.

"I won't. Just keep the rope..." Before I could finish my thought, the boat flew out from under my feet and I hit the water. The cold took my breath away for a moment. "Tight." I finished as I emerged and Ben broke into a fit of hysterical giggles. 

With two long strokes I swam to the ladder. After pulling myself up onto the dock, I stood over Ben and shook like a dog doing my best to get him wet. 

We both collapsed in laughter. 

Life didn't get any better.

When I looked up I saw Lexi coming down the lawn towards us. She wasn't smiling. Maybe I shouldn't have taken Ben so far in the kayak? I still had a lot to learn. 

I jumped to my feet. "Lexi, we were only gone for a minute. Once we figured out how to paddle, we..."

She came closer and I could see she wasn't mad. But there were tears in her eyes.

Chapter Thirty-Five

"Hey, Ben," Leo said. "Why don't you go see if the puppy is awake and think about a name for him."

Ben's face lit up as he remembered his new dog, and he sprung to his feet. "Sure," he said and took off running. "I'll think of a really cool name too," he yelled and disappeared up the lawn.

I tried to hold back the tears. Watching Ben with Leo, after all this time was overwhelming. The effect of all the emotions over the last few weeks combined and turned me into a weepy, emotional mess. 

"Lexi, what's wrong?" Leo said. He finished tying the kayak to the dock and came to me. "Has something happened?"

"Yes. I mean, no. I..." I was feeling so many things at once I couldn't form a coherent thought. "I'm so sorry, Leo."

Leo grabbed my arms and I jumped a little from the cold of his skin. "Sorry? For what?"

"For not telling you about Ben." I felt a fresh flow of tears threatening. "Seeing you with him, it makes me so happy. But so sad for all the lost time you've had. And I'm-"

"Stop," he said and wrapped his arms around me. He was soaking, but I didn't care. I let him hold me and after a moment I could feel the heat radiating from his skin, through the damp clothes. "We've talked about it," he whispered, "and we can't change the past. The only thing that matters is now. And I'm here now."

"But for how long?" My voice was muffled in his shoulder.

Leo pulled me away from him and met my mouth with his.

The kiss took my breath away, literally. But I didn't need it. Leo's passion fuelled me. He breathed life into me as his lips melded into mine. He had one hand on the back of my neck, the other cupping my cheek and kissed me with an urgency I'd never experienced before. All thoughts flew out of my head and I focused only on the feel of his wet body pushed up against mine, his thumb stroking against my cheek, and the taste of him on my lips.

When we finally drew apart, Leo looked at me, the intensity of his kiss reflected in his eyes. "Does that answer your question? I'm here for forever."

"But, what about your job?"

"I told you, I'm going to quit."

"What will you do for work?"

"Well, as it turns out, I think Dex may need a little help around the Inn."

I reached for his hand and squeezed.

"It's going to be okay, Lexi. I promise." 

"I know," I said and for the first time in a long time, I believed it.

"We're going to make this work," he said. "I love you." 

I stared at him, tracing his face with my eyes. Everything about him was so familiar. "Maybe Uncle Ray was right," I said after a moment.

"About what?" He reached out to wipe a tear off my cheek.

"He told me not to waste time, that I would have to grab love when it came and never let it go." 

A slow smile spread across Leo's face. "Uncle Ray sounds like he was a very wise man. I wish I could have met him." 

"So do I," I said and I leaned forward again. This time the kiss was tender and soft. 

"Mom!" 

We broke apart at the sound of Ben's voice, but Leo held onto my hand and we turned together to see Ben running down the lawn at full speed, the puppy close on his heels.

"Whoa." I caught him with my free hand before he could run right off the dock. "What's up?"

"I thought of the perfect name," Ben said between breaths, "for the dog." He reached down and grabbed the dog around the middle lifting him to his face.

"What's that?" 

"Skipper," Ben said. 

"Skipper?" Leo and I said at the same time.

"Yeah, for Papa," Ben explained. "He was always trying to teach me to skip rocks and I did it this morning. Right before Leo brought me Skipper."

He looked up at me; the puppy, still squirming in his arms, licked his face.

"I don't think I could imagine a more perfect name," I said.

"Cool," Ben said and put the puppy down. "Come on, Skipper," he called and took off running again.

Leo lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it. Together we walked off the dock and into our future.

Acknowledgements

When I think about who I want to thank for their support, many people come to mind because, as it turns out, writing a novel is not easy and I couldn't have done it on my own. 

First, I have to thank the wonderful and talented Easy Writers. Brad, Susan, Nancy, Trish and Leanne. Thank you for plowing through some of my earlier work, giving me honest feedback and pushing me to 'do better'. Through twice monthly Thursday nights, lots of lattes, a ton of laughs, and a whole lot of work, you've all encouraged and inspired me. Thank you.