Nothing Stays In Vegas (33 page)

"I wasn't sure I'd see you again," I said. 

"Seriously, Lex?" He sat forward in his chair. "There was no way I was going to let you walk out of my life again. You tried, I know. But I wasn't going to let you push me away. I'm not going anywhere."

I wrapped the blanket tighter. "It's not fair to you," I said. "I mean, you have a career, you have a life. I understand if you don't want...well, this."

"Lexi, stop." Leo grabbed my forearms and held me tight, forcing me to look at him. "There's nothing else in this world that I want more than this. Nowhere else I'd rather be."

I looked up again and saw the emotion on his face. In that moment I knew I was only going to hear what I wanted to. And he was saying exactly what I wanted to hear. 

"I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't know what to do. There was so much going on and... I was scared," I admitted. "I didn't want to make you choose because I was, I am, afraid of your choice."

"You don't have to be scared." Leo pulled me towards him and touched his lips to mine. The kiss was brief, the sensation gentle, but there was no doubt of the feelings behind it. He pulled away and released my arms. "And don't you ever worry about me choosing. I choose you. Always."

"What about your job?"

"What about it?"

"You love your career."

"It's a job. I took a leave of absence until I can figure out how to deal with it. I have no intention of going back."

"What?"

"I told you, Lex." He smiled. "I choose you. You and Ben. I was stupid enough to choose work over you before, I won't make that mistake twice. Once was enough, and I've regretted it ever since."

I stared at him. "You would give up everything for me?" 

"Of course." Leo reached for my arms and shook them gently. "When will you get it? All I've done for the last few years is think about you, and when I saw you at the hotel, I knew I'd never let you go again. And then when you told me about Ben...God, Lexi, how could I not be here?"

"I told him about you," I said. 

The shock on his face registered and he loosened the grip on my arms. "Ben? You told him I was his father?"

"Well, not exactly like that. I told him he was lucky because he had two dads. In some way, Andrew will always be part of his life too, Leo."

"I know," he said and looked away. "It's just that..."

"What?"

He turned back to me. "Can I see him?"

"Now?"

"Please. I can't stop thinking about him. I need to see him for myself."

"Of course." I nodded and he let go of my arms to take my hand. I rose from the chair, discarding the blanket on the deck. When I turned to head into the house, Leo stopped and turned me into him. 

He didn't say a word, but pulled me into his arms for a kiss so passionate that if there had been any doubt of his feelings, or of my own, there was none now. I wrapped my hands around his back and returned the kiss. 

It ended too soon. 

"Come, "I whispered and led him into the house.

###

Following Lexi into the house I was terrified. It was a struggle to control my breathing let alone take in my surroundings; I kept my eyes on her back and stayed right behind her as she walked through the kitchen and down a short hallway stopping in front of a shut door.

"He's asleep," she said. 

I nodded. He'd fallen asleep on the porch swing. My eyes had been riveted on them both as I watched her carry him inside earlier. I remember thinking he looked so little but so big too, like a grown boy.

She put her finger to her lip and opened the door.

The little room was dark with only the glow of a night light illuminating a corner. There he was. I'd seen the picture. Heck, I'd memorized every line and freckle on his face. But it didn't prepare me for seeing him in person. I couldn't move. 

"Leo," Lexi said. "It's okay, you can go in." 

I tore my gaze away from Ben and looked at her. She was smiling, and when she nodded I walked through the door, being sure to watch my step. I stopped about two feet away from the bed. He was lying on his side, clutching a teddy bear. He had long dark lashes, like mine. I used to complain to my grandma that they made me look like a girl, but now I could see how perfect they looked on this boy. 

"He looks just like you," Lexi whispered. She'd joined me in the room and I hadn't noticed. I couldn't focus on anything except my son. She was right. He looked just like me, except there were traces of Lexi too. The freckles scattered on his cheeks. Those were from her. And his nose, with the slight flip at the end, that didn't look anything like mine. 

I sank to my knees on the carpet, never taking my eyes off him. Lexi put her hand on my shoulder, squeezed and it was gone. I'm not sure how long I sat there watching him sleep. When I finally turned to look at Lexi she was gone. The door to the hallway stood open. 

I turned back to my son. I should go. I didn't want to wake him up.

Didn't I? I did want to wake him. I wanted to talk to him. To see his eyes looking at me. To hear his voice. I needed to hear his voice. 

There would be time for that. We would have time.

I reached out and touched his head. His hair was soft. He let out a sigh in his sleep and I withdrew my hand. 

I found Lexi in the living room. She was sitting on the couch flipping through a magazine. She looked up when I walked into the room and  I took a deep breath and leaned against the wall.

"Are you okay?" she said rising and coming to me.

I couldn't answer at first. I closed my eyes and took a few breaths. "I think so."

"Was he...okay?"

My eyes flew open. "Are you kidding?" I stared at her. Her green eyes that were so different from mine and from Ben's. "He's perfect. Absolutely perfect."

She smiled. "He is," she said.

"Thank you." 

"For what?"

"For raising him. He's amazing."

"You don't even know him yet."

"I don't have to," I said, though I wanted to know my son more than anything else. "I know he's amazing. He's yours."

"And yours," she said, and I didn't think I could get any happier than in that moment. 

He's mine. I replayed the words over in my head, turning them around and trying them on for size. "He's mine," I said out loud.

Lexi smiled and took my hand. "It's a perfect night for a fire." She led me into the room and this time I took the time to look around. It was like a picture straight out of a magazine. The ceiling in the main room was vaulted and lined with wood panels. A fireplace dominated the large room. The hearth was huge and made up of large, smooth rocks that climbed all the way up the wall. Two overstuffed leather chairs were pulled close with another couch and two large wooden bookshelves in the space behind. 

Lexi moved into the kitchen which was just off the main room. It was a bright, open space with a large bay window over the sink facing out to the lake. I watched her open cupboards and drawers until she gathered what she needed and joined me by the fireplace. 

"Normally I'd be a little worried that there was a nest or something in the chimney after the whole summer, but Uncle Ray told me he'd used it the last time he was here when the electricity went out during a storm."

"The electricity goes out?" I perched myself on the edge of a chair and watched her stack logs and smaller pieces of wood in preparation. 

She laughed. "Of course. We're in the woods here. It's not like a big city where there's a backup plan. When there's a big storm, the power almost always goes out."

I stared at her. I'd never been unable to turn on a light. 

"This is pretty foreign for you, isn't it?" she asked. 

"Is it that obvious?" 

"There's nothing better than being in the mountains. You'll get used to it."

Lexi froze, her back to me. I was afraid to breathe. Did she realize what she had said? Did she want me to get used to it here? Would I even have the chance?

"Lexi?" I asked her and prayed she meant what she said. "Will I?"

She didn't turn around, but shook a match out of the box and struck it against the side. "Leo, we're staying. Ben and I. We've decided to try it, and I think I got lucky with a job. It just seems-"

"I meant what I said earlier, Lexi. I choose you. I won't let you get away again." She turned around and looked at me; her hair seemed to glow as the fire sparked to life behind her. God, she was beautiful. "I don't know how I fit into your plans, but I need to tell you that I will need to be part of your plans because I'm in this."

"You're in this?" 

"One hundred percent. Whatever it takes." 

She smiled, pushed up from her knees and walked over to where I sat, "Good," she said and sat straddling my lap, "because I want you in this." And before I could say a word, she put her sweet mouth on mine and there was nothing left to say.

Chapter Thirty-Three

Ben was up early which made me happy that I'd insisted Leo didn't spend the night. It had been taken all the willpower I had to let him leave my bed, but I had to think of Ben. We needed to handle the situation carefully. When I came out of my room, Ben was already outside, still in his pajamas throwing rocks in the water. He was determined to master the art of skipping rocks but wasn't having much success. He threw stone after stone, and each one made a splash before sinking to the bottom. I'd have to show him the tricks Uncle Ray had taught me. 

I poured a cup of coffee and started to make my way outside to the deck when a flash caught my eye. The vase. My vase. 

I couldn't bear to throw away the broken vase that was my parents. I had so little of theirs. Instead I'd put the pieces in a box and brought them with us, intending to attempt a repair job. But it looked like someone had beaten me to it. 

I looked closer. The pieces were held together with what looked like a combination of scotch tape and white glue. 

Ben. 

Tears filled my eyes and I looked out at my son who was still doggedly throwing rocks into the lake. He must have fixed it this morning before going outside. And the flowers. A mixture of clover and dandelions. His favorite. 

I pushed the screen open and stood on the deck watching. Holding my coffee mug, the heat of the liquid warmed my hand. 

"Hey, Mom," Ben called, "watch this." He wound up in a side pitch and hurled a rock into the water where it landed with a loud splash. 

He turned back to the house and shrugged. 

I waved and he continued his search for the perfect skipping stone. 

"Ben," I called. "Come inside and get changed. I need to have a shower."

"Okay, Mom. Just one more." He wound up, just as he had before, and flung the rock out from his side. This time it skimmed the water's surface, once, twice, before submerging. 

Ben whirled around. "Did you see that?"

I laughed at his wonderment. "I did, buddy. That was awesome."

He ran up the lawn and into my arms. "I did it!"

"You did. Now come and get changed and after I get dressed you can try again."

Ben was outside again as soon as he changed and wolfed down breakfast. When the phone rang, I stood at the kitchen window and spoke to the Elementary school principal, Mr. Henderson, as I watched Ben skip rock after rock. 

"I knew your Uncle Ray," Mr. Henderson said, "We fished together sometimes over the years. He was a good man. I'm sorry to hear about his passing."

"Thank you. He loved it here," I said. "It'll be nice for Ben and I to be here."

"So, you are staying? Can I convince you to come work at the school then?"

"Well, I'll need a job. But don't you need to see some references? I can get you a list, but I don't know-"

"I'll be honest with you, Lexi," he said. "I'm in a bit of a tough spot here and if you're ready to work...well, knowing your uncle, I think that's all the reference I need right now. Of course you'll have to come in and fill out some paperwork."

"Of course." I tried to maintain a level of professionalism but on the inside, I wanted to scream. Everything was working out.

I finished my call with Mr. Henderson and glanced at my watch as I made my way out to the porch. Leo should have already been here by now. He said he'd come over right after breakfast. It was almost eleven. Before my mind could create a dozen worst case scenarios, I heard the crunching of tires on gravel and a few moments later, Leo appeared around the corner of the house. 

My face split into a grin at the sight of him. 

"Good morning," he said.

"Almost lunch time actually."

"I'm sorry about that. I had something very important to take care of," he said as he took the steps up to the deck two at a time. 

"Is that so?" I teased. 

He leaned in to kiss me and as much as my body longed for the touch of him, I pulled away. I gestured with my head towards the lake. And Ben. 

Leo turned and watched his son for a few minutes. "May I?"

"Of course, just let me introduce you, okay?"

Leo nodded and I called to Ben who came running up the lawn. He slowed when he saw we had a visitor. 

"Ben, I want you to meet someone very important. This is...Leo."

Leo stuck his hand out. "It's very nice to meet you, Ben. Your mom has told me quite a bit about you." 

Ben looked at the hand but shied away. 

"It's okay, Leo's a friend," I said. 

Ben still didn't take Leo's hand but fixed his gaze on him. Leo must have noticed the staring as well because he withdrew his hand and said, "I hope you don't mind, Ben, but I saw something at the store today and I thought you might like it."

The expression on Ben's face shifted. He could never turn down a gift. 

Leo looked at me for approval and I nodded. 

"I'll be right back," Leo said. "Wait here."

Ben didn't move so Leo ran down the steps and disappeared around the corner.

I took the opportunity. "Are you okay? I told you, Leo's a friend."

"I know," he said, "he looks kinda-"