Not Alone: Trusting God to Help You Raise Godly Kids in a Spiritually Mismatched Home (7 page)

I cried.

Tears of relief. Tears of hope.

She went on to say, “The key to this verse is the word ‘old.’”

Immediately I felt a wave of peace wash over me. I knew exactly what she meant. Our kids may stray from living a life for God. They might outright rebel. They might buy into the lies of the enemy and embrace the ways of the world. Or choose to discount Jesus just like Dad has done. It is a possibility. This is also true of children raised in a home with two believing parents. There are kids who choose to travel the painful path of the prodigal child. But—and how I love it that with God in the story there is always a “but”—if we have trained our children, taken advantage of every teachable moment, encouraged them to attend church (I share more on this in later chapters), and loved on them with the infectious love of Jesus, they will return to God.

I am proof of this truth!

Like Abraham, who believed God for a promise that was not fulfilled in his lifetime, we also can believe. Our child may return to his or her faith as a young adult. Or, and this is likely, their faith may resurface when they begin to have their own children. It’s funny how little ones will soften a heart. Our children may not turn back to God until they are 80, when they are “old.” We may never witness their running home to the Father this side of heaven, but we can trust God to hear our prayers and pleadings for them. We can take God at His word. Our hearts can rest in the security of His grace—the logic-defying, crazy, unpredictable, scandalous grace of Jesus Christ. God loves our kids with a passion and a commitment that we can’t begin to understand. And that’s a promise!

Never doubt that God hears our prayers for our babies, our teenagers and our ever-challenging prodigal adults. He listens when we share our concerns with Him. Our earnest prayers move Him.

Faithful and True

At the time of this writing, our daughter is nearly 18 years old and is a senior in a large public high school in Southern California. She has weathered the temptations and disappointments of teendom. She’s wrangled with her faith over the past year, even struggling with anger at God at one point. Yet she will tell you that she loves Jesus, and her faith is authentic. She lives her beliefs with a courage that inspires both me and her unbelieving dad. God has walked with her every step of the way.

More than anything, as my daughter prepares to step into her next season of life on a college campus, I want her to make choices not out of guilt so as not to disappoint us, her parents, but out of her own desire to honor God. As she matures into an adult, the legacy I hope to pass along to her is a faith that is her own and a relationship with Christ that will carry her through her entire lifetime. I don’t want her to make choices because they are what I want for her. I want her to make godly decisions because she is motivated out of love for our Lord. This kind of faith development takes time and effort, and the rewards are not often witnessed for years and years.

I’ve lived my faith and love for Jesus on purpose in front of little eyes. In the remaining chapters of this book, we will uncover what living our faith looks like to a child. But today, as my daughter approaches adulthood, I’ve witnessed the fruit of the years, the tears and the prayers I have uttered for her.

I was greatly encouraged recently as I witnessed my daughter’s faith in action as she stood up against teen peer pressure. Several of Caitie’s high-school friends invited her to attend a theatrical production that I didn’t know was of questionable morality. My daughter flatly declined to attend. My heart soared when I overheard her on the phone with one of her friends, responding to the obvious questions, “Why aren’t you going with us to the play?”

She said, “It just doesn’t sit right with my morals. So I’m not going.”

God can and will help you train up your children in the way that they should go. The best thing we can do for our kids is to love Jesus with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. Model your faith; don’t preach it. Love with passion and with a giant portion of forgiveness and grace. Parent with God, and watch all that He will do, even in the home of the spiritually single.

So as I reach the end of this chapter, I can’t help pondering God’s amazing plans, His grace, His great love for me and my children. Many years ago, when I whispered a simple prayer as a young wife with a weak faith and asked the Lord to bless me with a child, God knew that this day would come when I would share His miracles and His wisdom as to how we can raise our children to faith in Him, even in difficult circumstances.

And now as my daughter approaches her high-school graduation, I find it interesting that once again our home is faced with an education decision. As of the writing of this chapter, my daughter has applied to a handful of colleges. Several of the universities are liberal in tone and reputation, including the University of California at Berkeley, my husband’s alma mater. She has also sent several applications to Christian universities. It’s utterly fascinating to me that all these years later, once again our daughter’s education is a matter of stark difference of perspective in our home. However, this time I’m not fearful. I have trusted God all these years to guide my daughter. I have prayed for hours and hours over her life. And I know she is outrageously loved by God.

I think about my daughter’s future frequently in this season as she considers her choice for college. And this time, the choice is completely hers.

God’s love for our children is unfathomable. He is relentless in His pursuit of our kids’ hearts, and He will give them every opportunity to choose life, to choose Him. We need only be the best mom we can be and then simply trust our Lord, because He will not fail to do His part.

Discovery

Mom, allow me to affirm you today. As a mother, you have a high and holy calling, with a mission to impact your children’s souls. Take a moment and ask God to meet you here in these questions, to bring you affirmation, resolution and encouragement. Remember, Mom, there’s no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a great one.

1. Think about the birth of each of your children. Recall the day that each one arrived. Now thank God for each of your children. Write down their names and then write out prayers of thanks. Then, next to each child’s name, write out the hopes you have for that kid’s faith, relationships and future.

2. How have you intentionally modeled your faith to your children?

3. What Scripture verses bring you comfort and encouragement in your parenting?

4. This week take five minutes every day to stop and enrich your personal relationship with Jesus. Pray, asking the Lord to lavish His love upon you and to help you become a child who receives the love of her Father.

5. What is one thing you want to start doing to grow in your relationship with Jesus?

6. In your daily living, how does your love for Jesus impact your children?

7. This week make a commitment to pray daily for each of your children by name. Determine to discover one area in which each child is struggling, and commit to pray for a breakthrough in that area. Write out this prayer.

Prayer

O Lord, fill me this hour with a fresh fire and anointing of Your love. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit so that when I’m in a room, the environment is changed by Your presence. Let Your presence impact my children for Your kingdom. Father, place in me a love for Your Son that is so full that my children desire that same kind of love with all their hearts.