Nobody's Girl (18 page)

“So what now?” Farrah took a small sip of wine.

“What do you mean?”

“Is this how you do it when you woo the ladies? You throw on the fireplace, pour some wine, play some soft music, take your clothes off, and then get them into bed?”

“No.” J.R. grinned, shaking his head.

“If you would've come home with Maliah two-point-oh would you have done this?” Farrah arched her brow.

“No, not at all. It's not even like that between me and her.”

“Why not? She was gorgeous.”

“Yeah, she's a looker, but I wasn't even trying to hit that tonight,” J.R. confessed.

“Wow.” Farrah cracked up, laughing at his bluntness.

“What makes you think I'd be sleeping with her tonight? I don't sleep around like that,” J.R. declared. He wasn't lying about not sleeping with Lizzy. He hadn't slept with her in months. And he wasn't about to go and explain his and Lizzy's history either. Farrah didn't need to know all that.

“So let me guess. I'm special, huh?”

“If you don't know that by now, then you never will.” J.R. massaged her thigh.

“Hmmm.” Farrah nervously drank some more wine.

What was transpiring was all too much. The beautiful fireplace, delicious wine, and J.R.'s gorgeous face had her insides melting. Every time their eyes met and each time his fingertips touched a part of her skin it became harder and harder to control her feelings. She had to keep her emotions intact, though, because he had that kind of presence that would have her getting up in the morning fixing him breakfast. And Farrah did not cook, so the fact she was thinking about doing it said a lot in itself.

“I'm not fuckin' you,” she said out loud, trying to convince herself more than anything.

“Who said you were?” J.R. furrowed his brow.

“Your penis did. I can hear it talkin' to me. It's sayin':
Come sit on me, Farrah. I won't hurt you
—but oh, it will.” She licked her lips, staring at his crotch.

“You're drunk,” J.R. chuckled.

“Mmm-hmm.” Farrah nodded. “But I don't care.”

“You can't fuck me anyway,” he clarified.

“Excuse me?” Farrah said, appalled. “Chile, please. You better get yo' life. I could if I wanted to.”

“No, you couldn't,” J.R. laughed.

“Whatever,” Farrah replied, sitting Indian-style.

For some reason, her feelings were hurt. Did J.R. not see her in a sexual way? Was he not attracted to her like she was to him?

“And yes, I find you extremely attractive.” He spoke as if he was reading her mind. “But the first time we do anything it won't be me fuckin' you. I wanna make love to you.”

Farrah sat speechless. Mills was the only other man she'd ever encountered that had ever spoken such sweet words to her. Except J.R. sounded like he actually meant it. There were no words to express how he made her feel in that moment. The only thing she could muster up to say was, “That was so sweet.”

“Real talk and by the way, I like to see you less uptight. It suits you better.”

“I am not uptight!” Farrah drew back her head.

“Yes, you are,” J.R. disagreed.

“No, I am not.” Farrah playfully hit him on the arm. “I am a ball of fun. I am everything.” She drank some more.

“Okay, no more wine fore you.” J.R. took her glass and finished the rest of her drink before she could.

“Look who's the party pooper now.” Farrah poked out her bottom lip.

“Come here.” J.R. pulled her onto him.

Farrah laid on top him and looked up at his face. There was nothing about him that she didn't admire. Even through her drunken haze she could still appreciate his undeniable good looks. J.R. had the creamiest cocoa skin she'd ever been blessed to see and touch. His eyebrows were silky and thick. She could look at his face for hours and never get bored.

“I want you to fuck me so hard,” she blabbed.

“I told you we gon' make love,” J.R. said, kissing her lips softly.

“I cannot fall in love with you,” Farrah whispered.

“You already are in love with me.” J.R. ran his hands through her hair as their tongues danced.

“
Noooooo
, I can't. When I fall in love, everything turns to shit.” She relished the sweet taste of his tongue.

“Maybe because you loved the wrong people.” J.R. gripped both of her thighs.

“If we fuck, is it gon' hurt?” Farrah asked, lost.

His lips and tongue were seducing the hell out of her neck.

“Maybe a little,” J.R. whispered seductively.

“Dammit. Why it gotta be so big?” Farrah massaged his dick through his shorts. “You gon' fuck around and get me pregnant.”

“Ain't nothing wrong wit' that. I want kids. Two boys and a girl,” J.R. replied, between her moans of pleasure.

“Oooooh!” Farrah abruptly stopped kissing him. “We can name them Dolce, Gabbana, and Chanel.”

“You're cute but you're crazy.” J.R. cracked up laughing.

“You know what would be so good right now?” Farrah cupped his cheeks with her hands.

“What, baby?”

“Some Popeyes chicken,” Farrah said, beaming.

“You serious?”

“Yeah.” Farrah smiled, brightly.

A little over an hour later Farrah and J.R. sat Indian-style on the floor, eating mashed potatoes and gravy, corn, red beans and rice, and spicy chicken wings, all from Popeyes.

“This is the best night ever!” Farrah closed her eyes and savored the wonderful food in her mouth.

“This was a good idea.” J.R. took a bite of chicken.

“How did you get this here anyway?”

“I called my peoples and had them open up a Popeyes just so we could eat.”

“You didn't have to do that,” Farrah said, sincerely.

“You said you wanted Popeyes so you got it. It was nothing.”

“Give me a kiss.” Farrah leaned forward.

J.R. met her halfway and kissed her sweetly.

“What am I gonna do with you?” She eyed him lovingly.

“Give me the chance to show you I'm the one you need,” J.R. answered.

“Well, you keep on opening up Popeyes in the middle of the night and we might have something to talk about,” Farrah joked.

Once they were full and done eating, J.R. and Farrah lay curled up in front of the fireplace wrapped up in each other's arms. For hours they lay talking. Then fatigue set in and before either of them knew it they both drifted off to sleep.

-Drake, “Hold On, We're Going Home”

 

By morning J.R. was still asleep but Farrah was wide awake and on the balcony staring at the ocean. It was a cloudy day, but it still felt warm out. There was a slight, cool breeze in the air as seagulls flew around in the sky and walked in the sand. Only a few people were on the beach. Farrah folded her arms and placed them on the rail. She was so relaxed. Being in California was blissful. The laid-back pace was what she needed.

What she hadn't realized she needed was J.R. He was all the therapy she needed. His spirit was beyond calming. When he looked at her she melted. All he cared about was making sure she was happy. He would do anything for her and she knew it. She only prayed she could give him all of her. He deserved the world and more.

He made her so utterly happy. She truly believed that it took her to be with him to see what love was truly like. Mills made her feel like this when they first started going out, but now, thinking back, she always had an unsettling feeling with Mills. It was like she never had his love to herself because Jade had always been in the picture. No matter how good Mills made her feel, she never felt like she truly had all of him. Not the way J.R. made her feel last night. He was with another woman and he didn't hesitate to leave with her. He showed her on the spot that she had him and no woman could keep him from her. Mills had never done that for her.

She knew she had to make a final decision on her marriage once and for all. She couldn't keep playing this back-and-forth game with Mills and she didn't want J.R. to get caught up in a mess either. She wished she could stay in the moment of being with him forever, but her real life and the drama that came with it was back in St. Louis waiting on her. But as she looked back out into the ocean, she closed her eyes and let the wind caress her face. Her life back in St. Louis was gonna have to take a backseat for a little bit, because these next few days she was going to thoroughly enjoy her time with J.R.

Wanting to be near him, she tiptoed back inside the living room where they'd slept that night and she lay back down beside him. With her head propped up on her hands, she gazed at J.R. He was perfect. She hated that he had such a hold on her. He looked so adorable as he slept. He didn't snore or anything. Gently, she traced his lips with her index finger. Out of nowhere he snapped his teeth at her finger, scaring the shit out of her.

“Boy!” She jumped back, frightened.

“I got you, didn't I?” J.R. said as he tickled her sides. “You thought I was asleep, didn't you?”

“I'm gonna kill you.” Farrah laughed uncontrollably, kicking her legs.

“You shouldn't have been watching me while I was asleep then, psycho.” J.R. stopped tickling her.

“You're the crazy one for pretending like you were sleeping.” Farrah caught her breath and calmed down.

“Shut up and give me a kiss,” J.R. demanded.

“Good morning.” Farrah smiled, then took his face into her hands and kissed him softly. “I missed you.”

“I haven't been anywhere,” J.R. chuckled, confused.

“You were asleep and I couldn't talk to you,” she said, pouting.

“You're cute. You know that?”

“Uh-huh,” she laughed. “But seriously, I'm sad.”

“Why?” J.R. lay beside her.

“'Cause I gotta go. My flight leaves in a few hours.”

“Stay.” J.R. held her hands. “You ain't gotta leave.” He kissed her palm.

“I have work tomorrow.”

“You can miss one day. Plus, I'm having a barbecue this afternoon. You have to stay.”

“Will you be serving barbecue chicken and hot dogs?” Farrah asked, intrigued.

“It wouldn't be a barbecue without it.”

“Okay you twisted my arm,” she said, smiling gleefully. “I'll stay.”

 

 

By midday the barbecue was in full motion. It seemed like all of Compton came out to Laguna Beach. J.R's family and friends were there in full party mode. Farrah knew that his neighbors had to be mortified by all of the gangsters and thugs, but if they were, they never said a word. Despite where his family and friends came from, J.R's people couldn't have been more welcoming and polite. They treated Farrah as if she were a part of the family.

His mother was especially kind. The two women had an instant connection, which pleased J.R. greatly. Farrah even got in the kitchen and made her famous six-cheese macaroni and cheese, which was an automatic crowd pleaser. At first Farrah was overwhelmed by all of the colorful personalities who filled J.R.'s home, but after a game of spades broke out, she felt right at home. Everyone was on chill mode. There was no drama.

Everyone laughed, talked, debated, played dominoes, volleyball, swam, and ate. As the day went on and the sun began to set, a bonfire was set and the guests who were still there cozied up with jackets, blankets, liquor, and s'mores. Farrah wished London could've been there to enjoy all the festivities, 'cause she was having a ball and creating memories that she would cherish forever. As Sevyn Streeter's summer hit “It Won't Stop” played, Farrah found herself in a very romantic mood and missing the hell out of J.R.

They'd barely gotten a chance to speak all day long. They did, however, steal a few lustful glances and sinful touches here and there. Nothing, though, beat when he was there by her side, giving her his undivided attention. Little did Farrah know, but J.R. was feeling the exact same way. He'd asked her to stay so that he could spend more time with her. But between playing host and staying on the grill, time slipped away.

Farrah was leaving the next day, so he had to make the little time they had left worthwhile. With a blanket big enough for two in his hand, J.R. made his way down his private staircase to the beach. The flames from the bonfire roared as more sticks were thrown into it. J.R. thought he'd have a problem spotting Farrah, but Farrah always stood out in the crowd. Her long hair blew angelically in the wind as she laughed with one of his cousins.

“I know you made me one of those,” he said to Farrah as she demolished a s'more.

“I'm sorry,” she said with her mouth full.

“You ain't shit,” J.R. sat behind her and covered them both with the blanket.

“You want me to make you one?” she asked.

“Naw, I'm good. You have fun today?” he replied, inhaling the scent of her skin.

“Seriously, this is one of the best days of my life. I haven't had this much fun in literally forever. Thank you for asking me to stay.”

“No problem, I'm just glad you're happy.”

“You make me happy.” Farrah lovingly kissed the side of his face.

Then J.R's guitar player pulled out his acoustic guitar and began to play. One of J.R.'s label mates instantly started to sing Coldplay's “Yellow”. The setting was perfect. The sun had gone down and nothing but light from the fire pit lit the sky. Farrah and J.R. couldn't help but turn to each other and sing along.

J.R. gazed deep into Farrah's eyes and sang, “Look at the stars. Look how they shine for you.”

Farrah blushed so hard she swore her cheeks would break. Nothing could ruin the moment, but as always, when God shows his favor the devil is never too far behind. Farrah heard her phone beep alerting her that she had a text message. It read:

Farrah didn't even bother to respond, but whether she responded or not didn't matter. J.R. had glanced over her shoulder and read the message. He wished he never read it because it only reminded him that Farrah wasn't really his. And it enraged him to think she was married to such a total asshole. J.R. knew he was falling in love with Farrah. She made it so easy for him to love her. She complemented him well, but the fact still remained that she was married to another man. She'd made it clear in the past that she respected her husband and their marriage, which he found admirable. But the time they'd spent together over the last two days seemed to change all of that. Maybe she was starting to see that better did exist, that she could be loved without constantly having to fight for it.

Love wasn't meant to be a battle. And yes, no relationship was perfect. There would always be hurdles to overcome. If the rumors he'd heard in the news and then straight from Rock that her husband had a baby on her were true, then she definitely needed to leave him. Nobody deserved that. She brought so much light and joy into the world. She was everything he ever wanted in a woman and more. As much as he wanted to force her to stay with him, he knew the decision was hers to make. In the meantime he decided he would just enjoy his time with her and make every second count, so Farrah could realize he was all she needed.

Only she could realize what she was worth, though. She had to come to the conclusion that she deserved all of the goodness the world had to offer. She had to realize that she had some control over the madness that was happenning in her life, because she was allowing it to happen to her. The longer she stayed in an unhealthy relationship, the longer she would be sad and miserable. Only she could make that change. She just had to get the courage to say she was finally done.

 

 

By midnight the last guest left. Farrah knew J.R. had to be exhausted. He'd been an excellent host and grill master. The house, however, was a wreck. There were still plastic cups and plates everywhere. The trash was full. J.R., being the neat freak he was, couldn't wait till the maid came the next morning. He had to clean up the mess before he dared go to bed.

After searching for him all over the house, Farrah found him in the kitchen straightening up. He had no idea she was watching him. Solange's song “Looks Good With Trouble” featuring Kendrick Lamar was on and he was rapping along. He was so in the zone that it brought a grin to Farrah's face. The more she was around him, the more she couldn't escape her feelings. Love had found its way into her heart. She'd fought it tooth and nail, but there it was, sitting firmly in the center of her chest.

J.R. was beautiful on the inside and out. There was no other way to describe him. He had a quiet presence, but was the same man who wouldn't hesitate to fuck a nigga up if need be. If you looked up the definition of a man, you would find him. Farrah desperately wanted to be the woman to make his circle complete. She couldn't chance another chick having him. And yes, she was married, but her marriage was dead from the moment they said “I do.”

Farrah had nothing else to hold onto. She couldn't and wouldn't forgive Mills for cheating and all the lies he'd told. This was the life she wanted and she wanted it with J.R. He was hers and it was high time she made it official. Unable to resist being apart from him a second longer, Farrah walked in behind J.R. and reached out for his hand.

He quickly turned around upon her touch. No words had to be spoken. The look in her eyes told him what time it was. J.R. didn't hesitate to take her into his arms. As he kissed her collarbone the sound of rain falling outside intensified their encounter. Secure in his arms, J.R. carried Farrah over to the window and placed her on the windowsill. Opening the window up, he resumed kissing her body.

Overwhelmed with desire, Farrah let a subtle moan escape her lips. Loving the way her skin felt against his, J.R. caressed her back as raindrops fell from the sky. A trail of kisses was then planted from her neck to her navel. Stopping once he got to her hip bone, J.R. picked Farrah up to unzip her skirt. Watching as it fell to the floor, he then sat her back down on the windowsill. Skillfully he released the clasp on her bra and took it off. Now fully undressed, Farrah couldn't wait for her body to be satisfied.

Staring each other intensely in the eyes, J.R. grabbed her face and kissed her hungrily. Barely able to breathe, she tore his 150-dollar Purple Label button-up shirt off. Farrah ran her hands over his chiseled chest as she released her lips from his and placed loving kisses onto his body. Each and every tattoo that adorned his chest was given her undivided attention. Leaning his head back, J.R. enjoyed the feeling that her lips gave him.

Wanting to feel him inside of her she unbuckled his pants and let them fall to his feet. Sticking her hand into the slit of his boxer briefs she found that she was working with a well-endowed man. The feel of his thick, hard penis in her hand caused Farrah to go insane. She couldn't wait to feel J.R.'s big dick inside of her.

She almost begged for it. Stroking him from his shaft to his head, Farrah licked his neck and listened to J.R.'s moans as they grew louder. His moans aroused her even more. Her heart was racing a mile a minute, but Farrah's nervousness only drove her passion for J.R. to a higher level. Not able to take it anymore, he wrapped each of her legs around him and entered her slowly. The sound of thunder and rain playing in the background made his first time going inside of her even better.

Massaging raindrops into her skin with his hands, J.R. felt complete for the first time in years. Picking Farrah up while still stroking her, he placed her up against the wall. J.R. turned her around and reentered with caution so he could feel all of her.

“Damn, you feel good,” he groaned.

“Ooh . . . J.R.”

“Farrah.”

“Ooh . . . J.R., I can't breathe.”

“Your pussy feels so tight, babe. This shit feels so good,” he moaned. He held her hands up to the wall with one hand and then slapped her ass while pumping hard. The tingling sensation made her crave his stroke even more.