No Shadow (Prodigal Sons of Cane) (13 page)

“What is it?”
he asked, his voice terse as he shifted automatically into crisis mode. His
pulse pounded, and every muscle in his body tensed, preparing for whatever
emergency he would face.

“It’s Melissa,”
Trish replied anxiously, hurrying down the steps toward him. “We can’t find
her.”

“
What?
What happened?” Andrew managed to level off his voice but his eyes blurred over
slightly with horror. He could feel Helen’s anxious presence beside him.

Trish was
almost in tears as she explained. “She’s been restless all morning. I know
you’ve been worried about her. She was out with the dog when—“

“Those hikers.”

“Yes! Oh, the
poor thing. They were tramping right through the yard. She had no preparation
at all and there were so many of them. I heard her scream and, of course, I ran
out. But she was gone before I got there. The hikers said she ran off into the
woods.”

Andrew closed
his eyes for a moment, trying to process the waves of panic and dismay.

“I’m so sorry,”
Trish rasped, “We should have done better.”

“It’s not your
fault,” he managed to say, pulling himself together. “Jenson went to look for
her?”

“Yes. It all
happened a few minutes ago. She couldn’t have gotten far. I stayed here to wait
for you.”

“Okay,” he
said, using the business-like manner he always turned to in a crisis. “Helen,
do you mind staying here, in case she comes back?” When Helen agreed, he turned
to Trish. “You and I will go look for her too, since we know our way around the
area. Even in a panic, I don’t think Melissa would go off the property. In
fact, she’s probably passed out somewhere. She usually does when she has a
phobic breakdown.”

He didn’t let
himself think of his helpless sister alone, unconscious, in the woods
somewhere. He asked Trish which way Jenson had gone, and then they decided
their own routes so they wouldn’t double over their searches.

As he walked
quickly into the woods beside his house, he prayed, remembering how faithful
God had been in helping him deal with his relationship with Helen, remembering
how faithful God had been for the whole of his life—even when Andrew had tried
to shut him out.

No matter what
happened, He would be faithful now.

***

Helen paced the front hallway in
the Cane house, praying silently and looking out the window every thirty
seconds for a sign of someone returning.

She’d been so
happy just a few minutes ago. And now she was terrified. For Melissa. And for Andrew.

It had all
happened so quickly she could barely keep up.

After a few
minutes, she called her dad, to tell him what happened and ask him to pray too.
He didn’t seemed surprised that she was at the Cane house, and he promised he’d
be praying until she called to tell him that Melissa was all right.

Then there was
nothing for Helen to do but wait.

Fortunately,
she didn’t have to wait as long as she’d feared. In less than ten minutes, she
saw something through the window and ran out the front door.

Andrew appeared
from the trees on the side of the yard. He was sweating, and dust and dirt
covered his leather shoes and the hem of his black trousers. There was a leaf
in his thick, dark hair that he hadn’t bothered to brush away. His expression
was set, stoic, and his mouth was a thin, tight line.

But he carried
his sister—limp and so small—cradled in his arms.

Helen carried two large cups of
sweet ice tea through the hospital hallway toward the waiting room, where Andrew
was sitting. Melissa had been admitted to the psychiatric ward of the hospital
in one of the larger cities in southwest Virginia, about an hour and a half from
Cane.

It had been a
risk taking her to the hospital—since the surroundings would be completely
foreign to her.

She’d woken up
in the back of the SUV as they’d been driving over here and had been so
confused and terrified she’d lost consciousness again. But there was no other
choice but to bring her to the hospital. They simply weren’t equipped to treat
her at home, and apparently her phobic attacks like this were extremely
serious. She’d been unconscious since they’d arrived at the hospital several
hours ago.

As Helen
crossed the waiting room, she studied Andrew with concern. He was sitting in
one of the uncomfortable chairs, leaning forward with his forearms on his knees
and his head down. He looked so burdened that her heart broke for him.

She offered him
the ice tea. “Here.”

“Thanks,” he
said, accepting it with a faint smile. “You don’t have to stay here, you know.
You can go back with your father. Or you can take my car—“

“Don’t be
ridiculous,” Helen said, taking the seat beside him. “I love Melissa too.”

He just nodded and
rubbed the back of his neck with another tight smile.

Helen did love
Melissa and she was terribly concerned for her, but she wasn’t staying for
Melissa. She was staying for Andrew.

So he wouldn’t
be so alone.

Andrew leaned
forward again. “I wish they’d let me sit with her. She’s going to panic when
she wakes up. She’s never been out of it for this long before. Even in her
worst attacks. What if she’s retreated so far into herself that she never comes
out?”

“She will.
She’ll come out of it.” Unable to stop herself, she reached over and gently
massaged the back of his neck, where he always seemed to rub it. When he let
out a hoarse breath in response, she used more pressure.

His muscles
were painfully tight. He had so much stress and responsibility, and he so often
handled it alone. He took so much on himself. Too much. His spirit seemed
battered now. Defeated. He loved his sister. Felt responsible for her. And now
he blamed himself.

Andrew was so
strong and self-assured most of the time. He was always so cool and competent.
But right now she wanted to cradle him, could hardly understand the feeling.

Her father,
who’d driven to the hospital an hour ago, walked over and took a seat across
from them. He’d been talking to some of the nurses. Helen didn’t pull back her
hand from Andrew’s neck, wasn’t even embarrassed. She gave her father a
helpless look.

Her dad leaned
forward, his eyes focused on Andrew’s bent form. “If you can give some of it
God,” he said mildly, “you’d find it much more bearable.”

Andrew didn’t
draw back as she’d feared he would. He didn’t raise his eyes, but he said, “I’m
trying. I want to.”

“So can’t you
trust him with this?”

“I can. I do.
But…”

“You still
can’t quite let go.”

Andrew nodded,
resigned and exhausted. “I know something’s missing,” he said hoarsely. “I know
I don’t have the peace that’s promised. I used to have it, and I want it back.
I’ve been trying so hard, for so long.”

Her father’s
unruffled expression never broke. “Do you know what ‘amen’ means?”

For the first
time, Andrew raised his eyes and gave him a quizzical look.

“Do you know
what ‘amen’ means?” Jack asked again.

“It’s a word of
agreement, isn’t it?” Andrew replied. Helen had dropped her hand when he’d
straightened up, but as he lowered his head she started to knead his neck
again.

“Exactly. It
means ‘yes.’ You’re better at trying and doing than anyone I know, but this isn’t
about trying. It’s not about doing. It’s about accepting. Releasing. Saying amen
to what God has already done.” He paused for a beat. “It’s just about saying
yes.”

Since she was
studying Andrew’s lowered face, she saw his expression change. “Yeah.”

She wasn’t sure
what that meant, but she gave her father a grateful look. Then she shifted her
hand a little to work on the tense muscles just at the base of Andrew’s skull,
her fingers brushing lightly through his thick hair. It was the only thing she
could do to help him, to make him feel better, so she didn’t stop.

Andrew let out
another thick exhale in response to her altered massage. His eyes were closed now.

She and her
father sat in silence.

Andrew was a
powerful, intelligent man. A courageous and determined one. Once he’d found his
sure footing, nothing would hold him back. He would show the same passionate
commitment to his faith—to God—that he did to his family and work. He would be
a spiritual leader. A strong authority. He should have been a father long ago.
He was born to be one.

Suddenly, Helen
pictured him as a husband, as a father—loving and guiding a family. The image
was so vivid and poignant that her heart ached in her chest.

He just needed
to take the final step. Say “amen.” Say yes.

***

An hour later, they were still
waiting.

Her father had
left a little while ago, needing to get back to Cane in time for Sunday evening
church activities. Andrew was looking better. He’d straightened up, and a few
minutes ago he’d draped an arm around her shoulders.

She leaned
against him now, glad of his strength and support.

She knew she
could count on him. Knew he cared for her. A miracle had happened in the last
twenty-four hours—and Helen no longer felt obliged to hide in the shadows. Andrew
saw her for real. And he saw something in her that he wanted, that he needed.

She just
couldn’t doubt it anymore.

Because she was
exhausted and kind of out of it, she blinked several times when a tall,
broad-shouldered man with dark hair the same color as Andrew’s entered the
waiting room. He looked vaguely familiar, but it took her a minute to place
him. He wore jeans and a long-sleeved, crew-necked gray shirt. His features
were broader than Andrew’s, and he had a slight five o’clock shadow.

Andrew had been
trying to relax, but she now felt him stiffen beside her. “Geoff,” he said.

The man she now
knew to be Geoffrey Cane approached them, concern evident on his face although
he spared a moment to shoot a curious look at Helen, who was still leaning
against Andrew’s side. “What’s going on with Melissa?”

Andrew removed
his arm from Helen’s shoulders and stood up to shake Geoffrey’s hand.

Helen watched
as the two men clasped hands. Despite the somewhat impersonal gesture, she saw
obvious affection in their expressions. She was so glad he had a brother who
loved him. Who’d come all this way for support.

“I didn’t
realize you were coming,” Andrew said, using his free hand to clasp his
brother’s shoulder.

“You sounded so
worried when you called that I figured I better. I got a direct flight from
Atlanta. Is she all right?”

“She hasn’t
come out of it yet.”

Geoffrey
frowned. “Can’t we see her?”

“The doctor
says not yet.”

His frown
deepening, Geoffrey murmured, “I’m going to talk to the doctor.”

Helen had
almost forgotten that Geoffrey was a doctor as well. A very talented,
successful one—specializing in infectious diseases. He didn’t look like a
brilliant doctor. He looked like football player, and he walked with a lazy
power in his stride.

He was so
different than Andrew, but she suspected they both had the same will of iron.

When Helen saw
that Andrew’s face had relaxed visibly, she smiled. “It was nice of him to
come.”

“He’s a good
guy.”

Geoffrey
returned shortly and announced that they were allowed to sit in Melissa’s room.
“It was ridiculous not to let us. If she’s mentally retreated, than she needs
to hear familiar voices to draw her out of it. She needs to know it’s safe.” He
spoke matter-of-factly, almost blandly. And Helen randomly wondered what it
would take to make this big man angry.

Then she
realized he was peering at her. He gave her a quirk of a smile. “I’m Geoff.”

“I’m Helen
Walton. I knew you when we were ki—“

“Pastor Jack’s
daughter?” Geoffrey interrupted, his brown eyes widening. “Really? I don’t
remember you being so pretty.”

Helen smiled
and blushed at his leisurely regard.

Andrew cleared
his throat loudly and aimed a pointed look at his brother.

Geoffrey threw
back his head and laughed.

Helen blushed
even more.

***

They went into the private room
assigned to Melissa. She looked small and pale in the sterile surroundings, and
Helen’s heart fluttered in sympathy. “She’ll be so scared when she wakes up.”

“That’s why we
need to be here when she does,” Andrew said, pulling a chair closer to the bed
and gesturing Helen into it. “I tried to tell them that earlier, but they
wouldn’t listen to me. Thanks, Geoff—for bullying the doctor or whatever you
did to get us in here.”

His brother
shrugged and leaned back in the chair he’d dragged up from the far corner. “I
just explained the situation. No patient is the same. Doctors do the best they
can with what they know.”

“Should we talk
to her?” Helen asked, staring nervously at Melissa’s motionless form.

“Just talk. Let
her hear voices. She’s in there somewhere. She’s just too scared to come out.”
Geoffrey leaned over the bed and raised his voice. “Do you hear that, Melissa?
I didn’t fly all the way from Atlanta to watch you take a nap.”

Andrew
chuckled. “Don’t listen to him, Melissa. We’re all here, and we’re doing fine.”
His eyes flickered over to Helen. “We worked everything out, so there’s nothing
for you to worry about.”

“And Andrew
even agreed to name the dog Rat,” Helen put in, feeling suddenly inspired.

“Hey!” Andrew
objected.

“I’m definitely
missing something,” Geoffrey said. “You have a dog named Rat. That’s a terrible
name. What were you thinking, Drew?”

“See,” Andrew
said, speaking to an unconscious Melissa. “Geoff agrees with me.”

It warmed
Helen’s heart to see him looking so encouraged. She would have liked Geoffrey
anyway—finding his solid, laidback personality appealing—but she liked him even
more since his presence here had taken a lot of the pressure off Andrew.

Feeling very
mushy, she gazed at Andrew, who was absently rubbing the back of his neck
again. She desperately hoped that, one day, it would be her job to take care of
him. And that she could let him take care of her.

When she
noticed Geoffrey giving her a thoughtful look, she glanced hurriedly away from Andrew,
embarrassed that her tender feelings might have been witnessed. To change the
subject, she said, “I didn’t know anyone called you Drew.”

Andrew made a
face. “Geoff just calls me that to annoy me. Everyone else calls me Andrew.”

“I could call
you Andy,” Geoffrey said, “So you better be grateful for what you get.”

Helen laughed
and Andrew sneered, although he was obviously doing so good-naturedly. They
chatted for a while casually. Geoff made them laugh at the story of his
thirteen-year-old daughter’s romantic woes—she was torn between two boys in her
class who had both asked her to the school dance.

After several
minutes, Helen gasped when she saw Melissa start to shift restlessly in her
bed.

“Keep talking,”
Geoffrey murmured.

Helen asked him
more about his daughter, whom he was raising alone since his wife died. And
Geoffrey told her the girl liked to read, play soccer, and shop endlessly at
the mall.

Melissa moved
her hands on her blanket.

Andrew said
something teasingly about the shopping habits of women, and Helen, also
teasing, objected strenuously to the remark.

Melissa opened
her eyes. They were huge and terrified.

“It’s all
right,” Andrew said, leaning over to put a comforting hand on her shoulder. His
presence was solid, unwavering, and Helen knew Melissa would feel it. “We’re
here. Me and Helen. And even Geoff put in an appearance.”

Melissa’s eyes
flickered between the three of them, torn between terror and interest. “Where
am I?” she asked weakly.

“In the
hospital,” Geoffrey said. “You scared the daylights out of us.”

“Don’t listen
to him,” Helen cut in, putting an unconscious hand on Andrew’s upper arm as she
leaned over with a smile.  “We were just waiting for you to wake up.”

“Oh.” Melissa’s
gaze took in the close proximity between Helen and Andrew, Helen’s hand curled
gently around his arm. The way he reached up to cover her hand with his.

Melissa gave a
trembling little smile. “I’m sorry it took me so long to wake up. But it’s
worth it to see you two like this.”

***

The next day, Andrew walked an
exhausted Helen up to the front door of her house. They’d stayed the night in
the hospital, since Andrew wouldn’t leave until his sister had been discharged.

Geoff came back
to Cane with them, and he was now in the backseat of the SUV with Melissa.

Andrew’s eyes
lingered on Helen’s face as she tried to unlock the door. The lock was old and
she always had to jiggle it to get the key to turn. When she’d finally gotten
the door open, she turned to smile up at Andrew.

“Thank you,” he
said, something deep and soft in his eyes.

“You’re
welcome. I’m glad I could be there. I’ll stop by later to see Melissa, if
that’s all right.”

He nodded, but
he made no move to go.

Helen dropped
her eyes a little shyly at the expression on his face.