Never Look Back (Coming Home Book 2) (8 page)

“No! No! Please don’t.” I’m screaming out loud and tears are streaming down my cheeks. “No, Brian. I have not talked to Rebecca. I don’t know what you are talking about. No! NOOO!”

I realize I’m not alone in the bedroom and I jerk my body away from whoever is touching my shoulder. For a moment, I’m not sure where I am but as I gain focus, I see Todd is sitting on the edge of my bed. I manage to sit up and lean back against the headboard. He takes both of my hands in his then reaches up to brush a strand of hair from my face.

“Shhh, baby, it’s alright. He’s not going to hurt you.” He tells me. “You are safe.”

“What? What do you mean?” I’m trembling as I manage to get the words out, still not sure of what has just happened.

Todd pulls me in towards his chest and wraps his arms around me. I’m not sure what to think of this gesture, but rather than question it, I rest my head on his shoulder and enjoy his comforting. He rubs my back with his big, strong hands and before long, I feel my body start to relax.

“How did you get in?” I ask him then realize as soon as I’ve said it that it was a crazy question to ask. Of course he’s going to have a key to the house since his family owns it.

“I knocked on the door, and when you didn’t answer, I tried your phone. I started getting concerned about you and decided to use the spare key to let myself in. Good thing I did because you were crying and screaming fitfully.”

“I’m so embarrassed for you to see me like this.”

“Please, don’t feel bad. I’m just glad I got here when I did.” His voice sounds so concerned. “I hate seeing you get so upset. Did something happen?”

“Thank you, Todd. The dream was so real.”

Todd stands up from his spot on the side of the bed. “Let me get you something to drink. Is water okay?”

“That would be great.” I say as I nod my head.

I follow him into the kitchen and lean against the counter while sipping on my glass of water.

“Please forgive me if I startled you.” He apologizes again.

I drop my head down not sure what to say.

“How often does this happen? I mean the dreams.” He asks.

I walk to the window and stare out. After a few moments, I turn back to face him. “The first week or so after I got here I had a hard time going to sleep at night. I was lucky to get in a few hours each night. I was just so afraid I was going to wake up and see Brian standing at the foot of the bed. It got easier, but just this week the dreams have started. It frightened me so bad the first night that I was too scared to go to sleep the next night.”

“Have you thought about talking to someone about this?” Todd suggests.

“I actually have a doctor’s appointment this coming up week. It will be my first appointment with the doctor here and I’ll probably mention it to her if it continues.” I tell him. When I made the appointment, I briefly told them about having to immediately leave my hometown due to personal reasons. I didn’t want to go into too many details on the phone, after all, the doctor is really the only one who needs to know what’s going on, but they informed me I would need to have my files transferred from my previous doctor. I stressed to them how important it was that no one in my previous doctor’s office know that I was here. I kept emphasizing this and the nurse assured me that all of my personal information was protected under the laws of patient confidentiality.

“I’m so sorry you are having to go through this. I honestly don’t feel you have anything to worry about here but I know how worried you are that he’s going to find you here.”

“You have no idea.” I convey. “My dad says the divorce papers should be ready soon and it scares the hell out of me knowing he’s about to be served. Don’t get me wrong, I’m ready to get this over with and move on, I just fear what Brian’s reaction is going to be when he gets them.”

“I wish I could tell you everything’s going to be fine, but you’re headed in the right direction. Just stay strong and keep your head up.” Todd reassures me. “I’ll do whatever I can to make you feel safe.”

“I hope you’re right. And thanks.”

“And look, if the dreams continue, I can always stop by when I get home from school each night. Sometimes it’s pretty late, but if it means you can rest, I’ll do it. I can sleep on the couch and be gone before you get up in the morning.”

Most nights I see the headlights from Todd’s truck when he pulls in the driveway. He’s right, it’s usually pretty late, but I don’t want him losing sleep just because he feels he needs to look after me.

“I couldn’t ask you to do that for me. You already struggle as it is getting enough rest yourself.”

“Promise me you will at least think about it, okay?”

I nod my head. “Alright, I will.”

I catch a glimpse of a vehicle turning into the drive and my face lights up when I realize my parents have arrived. Todd turns to see what’s caught my attention.

“Looks like someone’s got company.” He tells me.

“Look at me, I’m a mess.” I say as I notice my wrinkled clothes. I’m sure my hair is in disarray as well.

“Why don’t you go freshen up and I’ll go down to meet them. I’ll let them know you’ll be down in a few minutes.”

“Todd, thank you. Thank you for everything.”

I have to say I really like this friendship that has developed with Todd. I could not ask for a better person to be acquainted with right now. It’s not Rebecca, but Todd is doing a dang good job of taking her place.

Here it is another night of being in the dark. I still can’t freaking believe the electricity has been shut off to the apartment; I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later since no one was paying the bill. It’s at this moment I realize Jennifer’s not coming back.

I walk back inside the apartment and pull the screen door shut on the sliding glass doors. I can only stay outside on the porch for so long before the mosquitos start to get bad. There’s no air circulating at all inside the apartment and it’s stifling. How did people survive years ago without air conditioning? It would be a little bearable if I had a fan but what good is a fan right now with no electricity.

Earlier today, I threw out everything that had been in the refrigerator and freezer. It was bound to start smelling bad if I didn’t and I don’t think I could stand to smell the odor. There’s not much left of the candle to burn anymore either, but that’s not exactly something I have to have. There’s really nothing else to do around here at night except sit here in the dark. I use the lighter to see when I make my way to the bathroom but other than that, the view of the walls with or without the candle burning is the same—black. I occasionally hear muffled voices coming from other tenants outside and hear them shutting their doors to their apartments. I wish there were a streetlight on the back side of the apartment since it would probably offer a little bit of light inside, but the only outside light is on the front of the building.

One thing I do have to start thinking about is food. I’m barely scraping by with what’s left in the cabinets and sooner or later I’ve got to come up with a way to get some money to shop. I’ve resorted to drinking only water now and I almost gag when I swallow it. The water from the faucet is room temperature but I remind myself it’s better than nothing at all. I would give anything right now for an ice cold soft drink or, better yet, a beer. My mouth waters just thinking about it.

It hasn’t been so bad taking cold showers, but it’s not something I’d like to do every day. I’ve resorted to wearing the same clothes for a couple of days in a row since there’s been no way to run the washing machine. I’ve even gone so far as to rinsing out some of my boxers in the kitchen sink and letting them dry on the porch.

I’m literally going crazy and I’m bored out of my mind. I wonder if this is what a person feels like who’s in a care facility, left abandoned by their family with no visitors. Every day is the same, no visitors, no nothing. It’s the same blank walls and no human interaction.

I found a deck of cards in one of the kitchen drawers but the only game I can play by myself is solitaire. I also came across a stack of crossword puzzle books and the other kind where you search for the words then circle them. I guess Jennifer would take them with her to work at night should she get bored. Well, I couldn’t figure out the majority of the answers to the crossword puzzles so I stuck with the word search instead. I’ve already done over half of the puzzles in one of the books. Besides, I have nothing but time to kill. I start to wonder how much longer I have here before someone discovers I’m living here with no power.

I sort of borrowed a can of gas from the maintenance guy the other day. If I had been able to find him I would have told him some ridiculous story about running out of gas and being late for work, but since he was nowhere to be found, I said the hell with it. There were six other containers on the back of his truck so he probably just assumed one got stolen, or it’s quite possible he hasn’t even discovered it’s missing. To keep from being seen with it, I tossed the gas can in the backseat and drove down the road a little ways before stopping in a parking lot and pouring the gas into my gas tank. I threw the empty jug in a nearby trash container, but now I’m sort of wishing I had kept it in case I need an empty container for later. Oh well, if it comes down to it, I’ll “borrow” another one.

While I had been out, I stopped by a few fast food places and inquired about a job. Yes, I actually put forth an effort to find employment. It’s not exactly the type of work I want to do, but at this point, I really need to find something. Money just isn’t going to fall from the sky and land in my lap. I’ve discovered no one does paper applications anymore which sucks for me since I don’t have a computer. I could use my phone to access the job websites to apply but it’s almost impossible to read the small print and fill in all of the information. I’ve been pretty lucky to keep my phone charged using an outlet in the hallway of the apartment breezeway. But even being on the internet has started to bore me. I’ll just keep looking for some other opportunity to open up. There’s bound to be a better job for me.

Today, I decide to get out of the apartment and do something different rather than sit and stare at the walls. I throw on a cap to cover up my hair that is now in desperate need of a cut. I’ve considered taking the scissors to it myself but since losing power, there’s simply not enough light in the apartment to see to do it myself. Right now, it’s not that big of a deal and I’ll figure something out later.

I make the short drive down to the local library and browse through a couple of magazines. I used to think Jennifer was crazy for reading so much. She’d come home with a stack of romance books and have them all read in a few days. Sort of disappointed there aren’t more sports magazines here, I start to browse some of the bookshelves and come across a section of mysteries and thrillers.  A couple of the titles sound intriguing so I pull a few from the shelf and bring them over to one of the tables in the back corner. I’ve never cared much for reading but there’s nothing else for me to really do. After an hour or so I get pretty engrossed in this particular book and I am curious to find out how it ends. I notice someone shelving books and inquire about how to go about getting a library card. In a matter of minutes, I’m hooked up with a library card and I decide to check out a couple of books by the same author. The cute young girl working the desk tosses in a bookmark and I smile and thank her.

As I walk back out to my car, I notice the darkened sky is threatening rain. Even though I’m eager to read more of my new book, I figure if it starts to rain, the apartment will be too dim to read from lack of daylight and I’ll probably end up out on the porch as long as the wind doesn’t blow any rain in on me. There’s still a couple hours left of daylight but without the sun shining, I won’t have as much time as a normal day. On a brighter note, maybe if it does rain, the apartment might cool off a bit and not be so unbearably uncomfortable this evening.

I toss the books over in the passenger seat and crank the car. The wind has picked up and the trees are swaying back and forth. Hopefully, I’ll make if home before the rain. I blast the air conditioning on high and change radio stations before shifting the car in reverse. Stupidly, I back from the parking spot slowly, not bothering to look in both directions. I guess I just assumed it would be clear and the next thing I know, I’m feeling a sudden jolt from the impact and my body jerks forward. Shit!