Never Look Back (Coming Home Book 2) (5 page)

I am startled by the sound of my phone ringing. I jump from the swing on the patio and run back inside the apartment hoping to grab the phone before the call has ended. I notice the screen on the phone is one of those 800 numbers and not Jennifer.

I still keep hoping she’ll answer my phone call. Some days I call her only once, where as other days I call up to ten times a day. I just miss her so much. But she never answers. I called the phone company to see if they could tell me a location of where her phone is right now. I made up some stupid story that we misplaced her phone while we had been away on a trip and would like to see about tracking it down, but since I’m not the primary account holder, they won’t release any information to me. I tried to reset the password to view the billing summary online figuring if I could access the account information, I might be able to see the locations or the general vicinity of any calls Jennifer has been making, but I wasn’t successful with that either. I’m not giving up hope.

Last week there was a notice taped to the door saying it was time to renew the lease for the apartment. I panicked because her parents, up ‘til this point, had taken care of the rent. I’m pretty sure by now they’ve been in contact with her and are aware she’s not here anymore. If she’s not planning to return here, then there would be no plans to renew the lease for another year. And where will I go if that’s the case?

There’s been enough food that I’ve hardly had to buy anything at all. I cashed the last paycheck I received from the shoe store, even though it wasn’t much, so I’ve had a little bit of money. Lucky for me I was able to catch the mailman again and he recognized me from the previous time he gave me the mail. He handed over the mail this time without thinking twice about it. If I hadn’t caught him that day though, I wouldn’t have received my check and it would be locked away with all of the other mail in Jennifer’s mailbox that’s now accumulating.

I’ve pretty much stayed here inside the apartment doing nothing but watching television and sleeping. I know it’s not an exciting life, but I just keep hoping she’s going to walk in the door and everything is going to work out.

I think about our baby. I truly hope everything is okay. I stopped by the hotel one afternoon to visit with Rebecca and see if I could get any information out of her. While she wouldn’t admit much, I could tell she had been in contact with Jennifer. Rebecca started in on me about receiving the last payment for the bracelet, and because I wasn’t in the mood to argue, I left. Right now, that’s the last thing I’m worried about.

When I got back to the apartment that evening, I looked at the bracelet again. I’d like to use it to choke Rebecca. I know she’s holding back information from me about Jennifer. I just know it and it’s not right holding back information on my wife.

I fumble with the phone in my hand. I decide to send out another text to Jennifer. So far, all of them have been have been from me with no response from her.

Me:
  Please call me. I need to know u r ok.

I hit send, knowing in the back of my mind, the chances of her replying are slim to none.

I figure I’ve got about a month left before I have to make a decision on the apartment. Even if I could come up with the rent money for the month, it’s not doing to do me any good since the lease is up. Shit, there’s no sense in worrying about it now; I’ll worry about it later.

I walk back outside to the porch. It’s almost too warm to sit out here anymore since spring is just about gone and summer is fast approaching but I still enjoy coming out here to sit in the swing. I think back to many good times Jennifer and I shared when we were still together. I get comfortable and within minutes I’m dozing off to sleep.

The next thing I know, I’m awakened by the sound of someone banging on the door. Getting up quickly, I walk inside and look through the peep hole before opening the door. Two men wearing some sort of work uniform are waiting. One man leans forward to knock again I’m able to make out the name of the utilities company on his shirt. Why would someone from the power company be here? Then it hits me. The damn power bill. Did Jennifer pay it before she left? Even if she did, she’s been gone for a month now so another bill would be due. Instead of answering the door, I continue to watch them through the peep hole hoping they’ll walk away. I hold my breath and sure enough they turn to head back down the hallway.

I go over to sit on the couch and flip on the television. If the utility guys come back again, I’ll deal with them then. If not, I’m not going to worry about it.

As usual, a replay of one of last night’s baseball games is on. I already know the outcome but leave it on the channel anyways. Updates and times for the day’s games scroll along the bottom of the screen and I make a mental note of which games I want to watch tonight. All of a sudden, the television goes off and the apartment is filled with silence.

I get up and go to the kitchen and sure enough, the clock display on the stove and microwave are blank. I open the refrigerator door to darkness. Son of a bitch!

It doesn’t take long before it hits me the freaking power has been turned off. This seriously can’t be happening. Maybe the utility guys were here to let me know the power was going to be shut off temporarily because they were working on something. I can only hope, but in the back of my mind, I seriously don’t think that’s why they were here.

I walk over to the sliding glass patio doors and pull back the blinds. The daylight brightens the room, but isn’t going to do much good later on tonight once it gets dark outside. I rummage through some drawers in the kitchen hoping to find some candles or even a flashlight. I check the pantry as well, but come up empty handed. Next, I check the linen closet in the hallway and, thank goodness, find a couple of scented jar candles. But what good is a candle without having something to light it with. I didn’t recall seeing a lighter or matches when I was looking for the candles but then it hits me, out on the patio, Jennifer always made sure there was one of those long lighters people use to light grills. I heave a sigh of relief but what good are a few jar candles if the power doesn’t come back on? How am I going to take a hot shower or wash my clothes? I cross my fingers this is just temporary.

Since there is nothing I can do inside with the power being out, I head back out to the porch. I play games on my phone until the battery starts to get low and figure I probably need to save some of the charge in case Jennifer tries to call. I can’t accept we are not together anymore. I just can’t. She’s got to call me and tell me she’s coming home.

After an hour passes, I head back inside and see there’s still not any electricity. Frustrated, I shut and lock the patio door, grab my keys, and head outside to my car. I need answers and I need them now.

I drive over to Rebecca’s house and prepare myself for what I’m about to face. I’ve driven by this house over a hundred times in the past month hoping to find Jennifer’s car sitting in the driveway, and each time, I’ve come up empty handed. But, today, I’m not leaving until I have answers.

Rebecca’s car is parked in the driveway and I pull up behind it. By the time I make it up to the porch, she’s standing there glaring at me.

“What do you want?” Rebecca asks. There is nothing nice about her tone. Nothing at all.

I immediately answer her. “I know you know where she is. You know where she’s been this entire time, and I’m not leaving until you tell me where my wife is. I need to know that she and my child are okay.”

“And just who the hell do you think you are coming here demanding I give you information about her?” Rebecca spats back at me.

“I am Jennifer’s damn husband, that’s who I am. I have a right to know her whereabouts.”

Rebecca just stares at me blankly.

“Come on, I need to know she’s okay.” I plead.

“I don’t owe you anything. You should have thought about that before you acted like a damn crazy person, going off on her the way you did.” Rebecca is not budging one bit.

“That’s where you are wrong. Had you kept your nose in your own business instead of telling her about my job, then none of this would have never happened in the first place.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about, Brian.”

“You know damn well, you couldn’t wait to pick up the phone that evening and tell her about seeing me out. It was my place to tell her I got fired, not yours.” I grit my teeth. “It’s your fault we had the argument in the first place that night.”

“Brian, I’m going to say this one time and one time only. Get out of my face. Leave my house and do not come back. I don’t know where Jennifer is and even if I did, you would be the last person I would share that information with. Do you hear me?” Rebecca screams in my face.

“You’ll pay for this, bitch!” I threaten her.

I turn and walk back to my car. As I back from the driveway, I accelerate so quickly, the tires leave black marks on the pavement. I pull up to the stop sign at the end of the street and take a deep breath to calm my nerves.

Why is it I keep blaming everyone else for my shortcomings? I can only point fingers at myself, yet I still end up wanting to place fault with everyone else. It’s no wonder Jennifer couldn’t wait to get away from me—I’m a loser.

I knock on the front door and wait for her to answer. I stopped by to visit Jennifer last night and to remind her about going to town this morning to take my grandfather to the flea market. I know she wanted to go, and after a little persuading, she finally gave in.

“Good morning.” Jennifer opens the door and has a radiant smile on her face. “Right on time.”

I’m one of those people who can’t stand to be late so I always make sure I’m early to everything. I developed this punctuality from my parents. “Please, take your time. Don’t feel like I’m rushing you or anything.” I assure her.

“No, I’m ready.” She confirms. “Just let me grab my purse.”

I notice Jennifer’s outfit is one I’ve not seen her wear before. She is dressed in a loose fitting maternity top, shorts and sandals. Even though she has three months left before the baby arrives, from what I can tell, she’s managing her weight very well. Her little baby bump looks cute and the top she’s wearing definitely brings out the blue in her eyes. I would tell her how radiant she looks, but I’m not sure how she would take my comment. 

I open the truck door and offer her my hand to help her climb inside. I know it’s the gentlemanly thing to do, but I sometimes find myself wanting to do things for her as if we are a couple.  I probably should have borrowed my mom’s car so Jennifer wouldn’t have such a difficult time getting in and out, but she doesn’t appear to mind at all. “We’ve got time to stop and grab some breakfast if that’s okay with you.”

“That would be great.” She tells me. “Lately, I feel like I can’t get enough to eat.”

“Well, you are eating for two now.” We both laugh at my comment.

I try to make small conversation with Jennifer on the short drive across town. I have to admit, I still get kind of nervous being around her. We’ve established the importance of our friendship but I can’t help but wonder if one day there could possibly be more. She’s definitely someone I am attracted to but she’s got her hands full right now dealing with the baby and Brian.

A week or so after Jennifer had gotten settled into the guest house, I stopped by one afternoon to visit with her. A light rain had begun to fall so we sat out on the porch listening to the raindrops as they landed on the metal roof. We started talking about random things which eventually led to a serious conversation about relationships and how honesty and trust play a vital role in a healthy relationship. So, I decided to bring up how I had made the decision to give up dating once I had enrolled in pharmacy school. I went on to explain to her how I wanted to be committed to school one hundred percent and couldn’t afford to be distracted by having a girlfriend or just dating in general. Occasionally I would hang out with the guys but even that didn’t happen very often. All in all, I guess it showed just how committed I was to my future instead of living life day to day with no real goal. She said she completely understood and it made perfect sense to her. She also had told me she was very proud of me for my dedication and all of my hard work would soon pay off.