Never Look Back (Coming Home Book 2) (2 page)

I hold my breath and push the door open. The lights are on throughout the apartment and the aroma of the lasagna meets my nose. I was really looking forward to our meal together earlier, but now, even though I still have not had anything to eat, I don’t think I could manage to eat a thing.

The apartment is silent except for the soft hum of the refrigerator. I glance towards the kitchen and see the bits of glass all on the countertop and scattered across the floor. I walk to the kitchen sink to get a better view and hear pieces of glass crunch underneath my shoes. I stop immediately when I notice drops of dried blood on the floor over in the corner next to the trash can. Images of earlier fill my head. Jennifer had been crouched in the corner, curled up as tight as she could be so as to protect the baby. She had tried to cover her face but a shard of glass had nicked her skin just below her eye causing blood to quickly ooze down her cheek. I remember her hands being coated in blood. What was I thinking when I threw the wine bottle across the room? How could I do something as stupid as this knowing she was carrying our baby? What if a piece of the glass had hit her in the stomach?

I can still hear Jennifer shouting at me to leave. She was firm and glared at me like someone else had taken over her body. The scene just keeps replaying over and over in my head. Where could she be?

I notice a trail of dried blood leading down the hallway towards the bathroom so I follow it. I stop in front of the bathroom sink and my eyes look down at the light pink rim left in the sink from where Jennifer must have attempted to clean the blood from her face. I see the bloody washcloth down in the trashcan has turned and dark shade of reddish-brown, but I don’t have the courage to pick it up.

I turn on the hot water in the sink and use my hands to scrub away any traces of blood. If someone does come to the apartment to question me, I need to make sure everything appears to be as normal as possible. I don’t need any red flags. It’s better to be safe than sorry. I pull a clean hand towel out from the drawer of the vanity and that’s when I realize something isn’t right. I pull out the other drawer on the other side of the sink as well, and sure enough, that’s when I notice items that should be here are not. Jennifer’s toothbrush, deodorant, hairdryer, and shampoo are all missing. It appears she has taken her personal items and left all of mine behind. I’m willing to bet anything she packed her things and ended up going over to Rebecca’s house. She was probably scared I was going to come back again.

I try to remain calm as I walk back to the bedroom. I tell myself it’s just for one night that she’ll be back home in the morning, afternoon at the very latest. And sure enough, after close examination, I realize the dresser drawers have been nearly emptied as well. The closet reveals the same thing. A few hangers are scattered on the floor. It appears like Jennifer was in a hurry to grab as much as possible before leaving the apartment. Shit! Shit!

I sit down on the side of the bed and prop my elbows on my knees. I take a deep breath, not knowing what to do next. I look over to the night stand and see the bracelet I had given her for Christmas sitting there. Jennifer was so happy when she opened up the package. I thought I had done pretty well by surprising her with it, even if Rebecca did help me with the purchase. I still owe that bitch one final payment, but after the stunt she pulled when I last saw her at the restaurant, I seriously doubt she’ll ever get it from me now. I can’t believe that once she discovered I no longer had my management job, she couldn’t wait to call Jennifer. And that is why I sit here now, all alone.

I pick up the bracelet and rub my fingers over the stones. This was the nicest gift I had ever given anyone that has any kind of significance to it. No, I’m not going to let this upset me. I will find Jennifer and we will work this out. We will patch this up again. I will put that bracelet back on her arm and we will be happy. I will prove to her Rebecca isn’t the friend she thinks she is. She doesn’t need this kind of friend who’s so quick to point out flaws.

I turn off the bedroom light as I go back into the kitchen again. I stop and stare at the mess I made. The room is an absolute mess.

As I walk towards the closet that has the washer and dryer to grab a broom, I realize it’s going to take more than just sweeping to clean this up. I find a bottle of cleaner underneath the sink and turn on the water. By the time the sink is filled, I have swept up most of the glass that I’m able to see. I should probably vacuum the floors in both the living room and even the kitchen just in case a splintered piece of glass is hidden somewhere on the carpet or in a corner where the broom missed. I decide to wait on this until morning. The last thing I need right now is the neighbor upstairs coming down to complain about the noise of a vacuum cleaner in the middle of the night.

I have no idea what time it’s getting to be but I’ve been busy cleaning for quite a while now. I wiped down the countertops and mopped the floor. Using a bottle of carpet cleaner I found, I use a sponge and scrub the carpet as best as I can to remove the blood stains. I’m pretty sure I’ll have to go back over the carpet again, but I’ll let it dry and check it again later.

I pat the pockets of my jeans and realize my cell phone’s not there. I curse myself for not thinking about this earlier. Jennifer could have been trying to reach me and I’ve not had the phone with me. How careless can I be?

I realize I must have left it in the car so I go outside to search the front seat for it. I turn on the overhead light making it easier to see and finally find the phone on the floor on the passenger side. I immediately check for any missed calls while hoping and praying she’s made an attempt to contact me.

A wave of disappointment washes over me when I see there’ve been no missed calls or texts from her. I wonder if I should call her, but talk myself out of it just in case, wherever she is, she’s sleeping. I admit, this is one time I’m glad her parents don’t live here anymore. If they had been here, I’m pretty sure tonight would have been much worse. I’d hate to know I had to deal with her old man, but fathers don’t like their little girls getting hurt, emotionally or physically. As for me, my father could give a damn about me.

I slowly walk back inside, not bothering to lock the door behind me. I sit down on the sofa, exhausted from the night’s events. I have never cleaned so much in my life. It’s no wonder women are always so tired when they’ve had to clean the house. I look around the apartment and all I can think about is Jennifer. Where is she? I need to know if she’s okay. I need to know that she and our baby are safe. So this is what it feels like when someone walks out on you?

I figure it’s probably best to wait until morning to try calling her since I’ve not heard from her by now. I switch on the television to fill the silence. My phone shows it’s already four in the morning so I shut my eyes. Within minutes my breathing has evened and I fall into a deep sleep.

One month later…

There is nothing more peaceful than sitting on the front porch, enjoying a cup of coffee and taking in a beautiful sunrise. I feel the fluttering sensation of the baby moving around inside my belly and I place my hand over the spot. There’s still a couple of months left before I get to meet my baby girl and the time can’t pass soon enough. I’m excited and nervous at the same time.

My mind drifts back on the past few weeks; I had been through such an emotional rollercoaster ride with Brian. It had taken lots of courage, in fact, more courage than I thought I ever had in me, but I finally had had enough of Brian’s crap. That night was the final straw. No one can ever say I don’t believe in giving someone a second chance, or even a third chance for that matter. But there comes a time when things happen and you start to fear for your own safety. In my case, I had to fear for the baby too.

I don’t regret leaving that painful night. Everything about it is still so vivid in my mind. I reach up to my cheek, just below my right eye, and touch my finger to the light scar. It’s still sensitive to touch, but the cut has healed nicely. There’s barely a trace of the scar, and you would almost have to be right up in my face to notice it. But I know it’s there, right along with the inner scars that plague my emotions.

I know, over time, it will get easier, and I’ve progressed tremendously this past month, but I know the minute I see the face of my daughter, I’m going to be reminded again of Brian. I can push him far away in my mind and do my best to pretend he never happened, but the fact that we share a child together, is something I’ll never be able to change.

The night I left had been one of the scariest moments of my life. I knew I had no other choice but to get away from him as quickly as possible. Surprisingly, when I had demanded he leave, he did, thus allowing me time to gather up my things. I wish I had had more time to pack more of my personal belongings, but I didn’t know how much time I had before he showed back up again. I moved quickly and grabbed what personal documents I felt I would probably need. Thankfully, I kept all that stuff together in one drawer. I had no plans to come back here ever again. I feared for my life and for the life of my unborn child. Next time I might not be so lucky to escape with just a small cut.

Just weeks ago, after another incident with Brian, I had made the decision to go back home to him. I believed I could help Brian change.

We had been on a nine hour road trip for me to meet Brian’s parents for the very first time when the argument had taken place. A little more than halfway, at my demand, Brian had pulled off the side of the interstate when the argument between us had gotten out of control and his driving had scared me. I got out of the car and began walking to the next exit. Tired and upset, I had entered a Waffle House. Todd Williams and his grandfather had been in the restaurant eating that afternoon and had been able to see everything unfold. Brian ended up leaving me behind, hours from home, and Todd had agreed to drive me back to meet my best friend Rebecca. Not many people would be willing to do this, especially when it involved a domestic dispute, but Todd did. I shared a little bit of information with him and ended up sleeping the rest of the way. We had exchanged phone numbers and I promised him I would call if I was ever in a situation and needed help again. While some people may have said to call them just to be saying it, I honestly felt like Todd had really meant it. 

Over the course of a couple of weeks, things between Brian and I had improved somewhat but I still thought about Todd. Why had he come to my rescue that night?

I had programmed his phone number into my phone, and one night, while at work, I decided to send him a text thanking him for his kindness and generosity. Todd and I had formed a friendship just through our text messaging and we began to text often. It helped me to pass the time at work while he was able to take a break from his studying. Neither of us were looking for anything more, after all, I was married, but it felt good to connect with someone.