A Heart's Endeavor

A Heart’s Endeavor

by

Mary Wehr

A Heart’s Endeavor

Copyright © 2012, Mary Wehr

ISBN: 9781937325428

Publisher: Beachwalk Press, Inc.

Electronic Publication: November, 2012

Editor: Pamela Tyner

Cover: Fantasia Frog Designs

eBooks are not transferable. No part of this book may be used or reproduced without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations in articles and reviews.

This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental. The characters are productions of the author’s imagination and used fictitiously.

Back Cover Copy

There are times when it’s best to allow your heart to overrule your head.

Being diagnosed with depression not only messed up Melanie Manning’s life, but her marriage as well. Her husband made it very clear that he considered her “damaged goods” and he didn’t have time to coddle a mentally ill wife. After his sudden death, Melanie knew she was destined to be alone. Loneliness sounded a hell of a lot better than exposing her illness to another man. Her self-esteem couldn’t survive another blow.

When state trooper Jack Horan meets Melanie, the attraction is immediate. Her deep blue eyes make him weak in the knees, but those eyes also hold a hint of sadness. Jack is determined to wipe away her pain, but how can he do that when Melanie refuses to let him get close to her?

Can Melanie learn to face her fears and trust her heart in the hands of another man?

Content Warning: some strong language, spanking, and sex play with a piece of fruit wielded by a hot guy in uniform.

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my husband, Joe. He has the patience of a saint. Love you.

Acknowledgements

I wish to acknowledge three special women.

My sister-in-law, Nancy Hertz. She cheered me on from start to finish.

My employer, Pattie Boran Lanz. I didn’t have a clue about computers. She answered all of my questions with a smile, and believe me, there were a lot.

And my publisher, Pamela Tyner. You, lady, are awesome!

Chapter 1

Corporal Jack ‘Dog’ Horan leaned against the small window in the communications room at the Pennsylvania State Police barracks. He blew out a breath. What a day. Another five minutes and he was out of there. Hell, another twelve months and he could hand in that blasted campaign hat that troopers were required to wear while on duty and say
adios
. He loved the job, but twenty-five years on the force was enough.

Becoming an officer of the law had been a dream of his since he was eight years old. It may not have been his mother’s first choice of professions for her only child, but his dad had supported his decision. So did his mother after the initial shock. To ‘protect and serve’ had been drilled into his head at the police academy and stayed with him ever since. Now all he wanted to do was marry and maybe have a kid or two. He hadn’t been as lucky as some of the guys who were already married with families of their own. He may not have found the right woman yet, but he wasn’t giving up the search.

There were plenty of available females who’d like nothing more than to take on a man in uniform, but it was just sex and that was becoming monotonous. He wanted more than just a ‘go out for a drink then fuck’ relationship. He longed for a marriage like his parents had. His parents had openly expressed their love and commitment to one another right up until his dad passed away ten years ago from the coal miners’ disease known as ‘black lung’.

Jack glanced at his watch. One minute left. He might as well head for the locker room. He took a step away from the window only to jerk to a stop when he caught a movement out of the corner of his eye. He had met all the employees at the Grab ‘n’ Go mini market across the street, but he didn’t recognize the girl sweeping the pavement. He peered closer and felt a stirring in his groin. Girl, hell, this was a full-bodied woman. Not the usual skinny-assed type the owner, Bob Delano, was known to hire. Either Bob had wised up or his new wife had laid down the law. From this distance the woman’s backside appeared quite captivating. Jack was anxious to get a closer look.

A hard whack landed on his shoulder. “Hey, Jack, see anything interesting out there?”

Jack swung around and stood directly in front of the window. “Nada.” Hell if he’d say anything. The word
female
would barely pass his lips and there’d be a cluster of single officers elbowing him out of the way to eyeball the woman like a pack of starving coyotes. No…this time he’d be the one to meet the newbie first.

He hurried to the locker room and changed from his uniform into a pair of jeans and a short-sleeved shirt. His mind raced with questions. What was her name, where did she live, and most importantly, was she married? If so, that would be the pits. He didn’t mess around with married women. Jack stepped into his sneakers and barreled out the side door, nearly knocking over his commanding officer. He hurried to the parking lot behind the barracks and leaped into his Durango.

Jack hit the gas and darted across the highway, but she was nowhere in sight. He circled the building on foot and came around the other side.
Shit, where did she disappear to so fast?
Frustrated, he went inside the store and spotted Bob coming out of the cooler.

Jack tossed a wink in Elaine Delano’s direction. “Can I borrow your husband for a few minutes?” At her nod, Jack threw his arm around the older man’s shoulders and steered him outside. “Okay, Bob, let’s have it. What’s her name, where does she live, and is she married?”

“Is who married?”

Jack rolled his eyes. “Don’t be a smartass.”

Bob chuckled. “Melanie’s been a widow for about a year. She stopped by yesterday and asked about the help wanted sign in the window. I thought I’d give her a shot. She seems pleasant enough.” He lit a cigarette. “Not bad to look at either.”

Jack ignored the offhand remark “Where does she live?”

“At The Lake.”

That information was a surprise. “Hmm, I wonder why I’ve never seen her before at The Cabin or down by the lakeside.” Jack had been given a guest pass by one of his fellow troopers so he could enter the gated community as often as he wanted. He liked to fish and The Lake held fishing tournaments along with other interesting events for both the young and the old.

Without another word, he spun on his heel and left Bob with his smoke. Back inside, Jack prowled each aisle and came up with zilch. He sauntered over to the counter and picked up a bottle from its cardboard display. He pretended to read the label while trying to think of a way to ask Elaine about Melanie without sounding like a horny teenager.

“Are you buying that bottle of horny goat weed or do you intend on staring at it for the rest of the day?”

“Huh?”

She smiled knowingly. “If you’re looking for the new girl she left a little while ago.”

Jack set the bottle down with a bang and glanced outside. Bob was nowhere to be found. Mumbling under his breath, Jack strode to the back of the store and plowed through the swinging doors bearing the sign
Employees Only
. He was wise to Bob’s tricks. There was an emergency exit at the rear of the building the girls used for quicker access to the trash bin. Bob must have come back inside that way to avoid getting his head knocked off for not telling him Melanie had left.

Jack poked his head around the doorjamb of the small office and snarled, “Thanks a lot, asshole.” Bob’s look of surprise didn’t fool him in the least. He stared pointedly at the two monitors on the table in the corner of the room. Christ, the man must think him an idiot. “You knew I was hanging around to talk to her.” He heard footsteps behind him and moved to the side.

“Hey, honey, Stacy’s on time for once.” Elaine grabbed her purse from underneath a chair. “I’m going home to start the lasagna. You’re welcome to join us, Jack.”

“No thanks, sweetheart. I have to be going too. I promised my mom I’d stop by and check the oil in her car.” He nodded to Bob and followed Elaine to the back exit. He stopped and said, “Remind the girls to always release this bar on the door after Bob leaves for the day. It’ll be locked from the outside, but if there’s an emergency all they’ll have to do is give it a good push. That way they won’t have to waste time fumbling with the key.”

Elaine batted her eyelashes and grinned. “I always do, Trooper Horan.”

Jack frowned. “I’m not joking, Elaine,” he said sternly. “And make sure you tell Melanie.”

The short redhead’s smile vanished immediately. “I will, Jack. In case you’re interested, Melanie’s working seven-to-three tomorrow and then three-to-eleven permanently after that.”

He winked. “Thanks.”

Chapter 2

Melanie’s second day at the Grab ‘n’ Go was turning out to be a disaster. Dumping an entire box of Swedish gummy fish on the floor wasn’t in her job description, but somehow she had managed to do it. Maybe her sudden brainstorm to rejoin the working class people of the world hadn’t been such a bright idea after all. Depression did that to a person. Had a person doubt themselves, and boy, was she battling a double dose of doubt right now. The illness itself was difficult to deal with on a daily basis. Throw a panic attack in here and there, and it made the disorder a lot worse.

Her choices seemed so simple yesterday. Stay at home like she had been for the past four years or get out of the house and start living again. Melanie chose the latter. Now she wasn’t so sure her decision had been the right one. But then again, if being shoved behind a register yesterday for the first time in her life and staring at the endless sea of faces scrutinizing her every move hadn’t sent her into a full-blown panic attack, then she was definitely making progress.

Melanie reached for the dustpan and brush and knelt on the floor. Sometimes life just wasn’t fair. Take her marriage for instance. For the first seventeen years she thought she had married the love of her life. She couldn’t have been more wrong. Sure, after being married for such a long period of time the cuddling on the couch before bed and the ‘darling this’ and ‘sweetheart that’ kind of stuff had eased up a bit, but the caring and understanding should have been a given. Not with Mike Manning. Being diagnosed with clinical depression coupled with anxiety had not only messed up her life, it had also turned her husband into a cold-hearted bastard. Instead of being supportive he had turned against her. She was driving at the time she had experienced her first panic attack and nearly wrecked the car. Mike had immediately confiscated the keys. That meant no more driving, which meant no more working.

Yesterday had been her turning point. Her first course of action had been to conquer her fear of driving. She may have shaken like a leaf, but she fired up the engine and pulled out of her driveway. Only she hadn’t a clue where she was going. She loved animals, so she decided to volunteer at the local SPCA. That had been a heart-wrenching mistake. The abuse cases were horrendous and Melanie left the facility with a heavy heart. She stopped for gas at the Grab ‘n’ Go, noticed the
help wanted
sign in the window, and here she was messing things up as usual.

Fate was against her from the moment she had walked in the door and took her place behind the register. She hit the double zero button twice and charged a customer 200,000 dollars for gas instead of twenty. Thank God the guy had a sense of humor and a strong heart. The price of gas was going up, but what the hell? After that fiasco, the lottery machine kicked her ass. She found out the hard way that cancelling fifty dollars worth of three digits numbers within ten minutes was indeed possible. Standing off to the side with his hands in his hair, Bob Delano had shouted out words of encouragement as if she were in a race, and she was…with the clock. In the cooler a gallon of milk had slipped from her fingers and basically exploded, making a huge mess. That had been the extent of her morning. The afternoon wasn’t going any better.