Need You Tonight (28 page)

The lack of sincerity was clear to them all, and Kade looked ready to kill him with
his bare hands. She’d never seen anyone look so deadly. The hate was like a palpable
flavor in the air around him. But when she called Kade’s name, truly scared he might
do something, Kade released Doug with a shove, and stepped back. Tessa let go of the
breath she’d been holding and went to stand next to Kade, taking his hand. His was
shaking.

Doug glanced down at their linked hands and snorted. “You’ve got to be kidding me.
Him
, Tessa? Seriously?”

“You need to go,” she said.

“Guess it’s true what they say about the law of attraction. Trash attracts trash.
Have fun playing in the gutter.”

Kade made some growly noise under his breath but she put her other hand on his upper
arm, keeping him from launching at Doug and doing real damage this time.

Doug shook his head like he couldn’t believe he had to suffer the presence of such
pathetic creatures. “You’ll be hearing from my lawyer about the watch and coins.”

She chose not to take any more of his bait and watched him smooth his jacket then
head toward the rental car. She squinted, catching what looked to be movement next
to the car, but it was too dark to tell. Probably a neighbor peeking over the hedges
for the show. Great. She gave another investigating look as Doug pulled out but didn’t
see anything else. And not until his taillights disappeared off the street did she
let herself ease her grip on Kade’s hand. She leaned into him. “You okay?”

“No, not really,” he said, his voice so quiet it almost didn’t sound like him.

She looked up at him, concern lacing her. “What’s wrong?”

He leaned against the railing of her porch, the lines of his jaw flexing. He’d gone
pale and sweat had broken out along his brow. “You saw me. I almost fucking lost it.
I
hate
that he can still get to me.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. He would’ve kept provoking you until you snapped at
the bait. That’s his way. Provoke and then make the other person feel like they’re
the ones acting irrationally. He used to do it to me all the time.”

He shook his head, tension still swirling around him like a fog. “You don’t understand.
I hate feeling out of control like that. I’m not that person anymore. He shouldn’t
be able to affect me at all. But it’s taking everything I have right now not to get
in my car, hunt him down, and wring the life right out of him.” He met her gaze. “I
could kill that guy in cold blood and not feel remorse. I don’t want to be that person.”

“No,” she said, her voice firm. “You aren’t that person. You had the chance to hurt
him tonight and you let him leave.”

“Only because you were here,” he said, running a hand through his hair and stalking
the length of the porch. “God, I hate that he can get to me like that. It makes me
feel crazy, out of control.”

She rubbed her arms, worried at this shift in him. He looked like he needed to punch
a wall or pummel something, like all this energy was built up with nowhere to go.
But she didn’t have a punching bag to offer. And she sure didn’t want him going after
Doug and getting himself in trouble.

She wet her lips, another idea hovering. It was a risk, but some instinct inside her
told her it may be just what he needed. She walked backward toward her door, slid
the key inside by feel, and turned the knob. “So take the control back.”

He glanced over at her, brows still low over his eyes. “What are you talking about?”

She pushed the door open behind her. “Forget about him and take some control back.
I’m here. I won’t fight it.”

His expression darkened. “I don’t think that’s a good idea right now. You haven’t
seen my mean side, and I’m not sure I trust myself to keep it light and easy right
now. Just give me a few minutes to calm down.”

“Maybe I don’t want you to calm down,” she said, the words escaping before she could
evaluate their possible consequences. “You’ve given me my fantasy. Maybe it’s time
you show me yours. What would you do if you weren’t worried about what I’d think?”

He stared at her for long seconds, and she almost chickened out and took it back,
but then he was stalking across the porch in a blink. She backed up into the house,
and Kade kicked the door shut behind him. “Tell me your safeword, Tess.”

Her voice went hoarse in an instant. “Red.”

He moved forward, wrapping his hand around the base of her neck. “Tell me you really
want this.”

The grip on her neck and his words coalesced in the small space of her entryway, creating
a foggy, heady feeling that wasn’t altogether unpleasant. This was it. No more safety
net. Even though she’d surrendered to him at The Ranch, she knew he was still holding
back parts of himself. She’d seen the things the other dominants did to their submissives.
Kade had never tried any of that with her. The only pain had been spanking.

She’d realized that night that he’d been going easy on her, introducing her slowly
to his darker side, keeping it all playful, fun fantasy. She’d been thankful for it
at first, the heavier stuff scaring her. But she couldn’t deny that lately, she’d
found herself imagining more, amping up the intensity in her mind and wondering what
it would be like for Kade to go into full primal mode with her—she’d sensed it there
right beneath his surface and now it was glittering on the forefront like moonlight
on black water. The idea of exposing herself to that primitive side of Kade both turned
her on and scared her. But in her heart of hearts, she did trust him to not physically
harm her.

“I want this—whatever
this
is.”

“This,” he said, guiding her none too gently down to her knees by her neck, “is the
ugly part.”

TWENTY-SEVEN

Kade loomed over her, every trace of his normally easygoing expression gone. “On all
fours. Crawl to the bedroom.”

She got in position but peeked upward before moving. He couldn’t be serious. “You
want me to crawl like a dog?”

His expression hardened and he wrapped his fingers in her hair. “No, I want you to
do what I say without question. Understood?”

“Yes, sir,” she managed, though her heart seemed to be pounding so hard it was affecting
her vocal cords.

He tugged her forward, not hard enough to do damage, but enough to make her scalp
tingle in protest and her body move beneath her. He led her into her bedroom and left
her there on the floor while he turned on her bedside lamp. When he swiveled back
around, he gave her an appraising look. “Are you wearing anything important to you?
Something that can’t be replaced?”

She shook her head.

“Good. Stand up.”

She scrambled to her feet, her body going on autopilot for the commands. The whole
thing should have freaked her out, but for some reason, everything inside her pinged
with anticipation—like watching a horror movie and knowing something was about to
jump from behind the curtain but unable to look away. This was Kade without a filter.

Kade closed the distance, his gaze like lead weights anywhere it landed on her. He
reached out and grabbed the collar of her blouse with both hands and yanked, sending
the buttons flying.

“Kade! What are you doing?”

The buttons skittered along the wood floor, and he tossed the shredded blouse to the
side. His hand went to her neck, collaring it. “I’m doing what I want. Take the jeans
off.”

Oh, shit.
Hello, deep end of the pool, nice to meet you. She fumbled with her snap and zipper,
the presence of his hand on her throat making her thoughts branch and divert in directions
she couldn’t quite follow, but eventually she managed to work the jeans down and off.

“Good girl.” He ran his fingers along her jawline. “Scared?”

She rolled her lips inward, considering the question, but then shook her head. “No,
not exactly. Confused maybe.”

He watched her as she spoke, as if recording every verbal and physiological response
she had. “By me or your reactions?”

“Both.”

That answer seemed to give him what he was looking for. He turned her in his hold,
putting her back to his front. His erection was hot against her backside, and everything
went liquid inside her. She almost didn’t want to admit to herself how turned on she
was already. His lips brushed her ear. “We all have sides that we don’t show the world,
Tess. The back of the coin. This is mine. I like some violence, some edges. A little
darkness. Let’s see what your flipside looks like.”

He grasped her upper arms and walked her to the bed, then pressed a palm to the center
of her back bending her over. He nudged her ankles apart.

“Eyes closed. Stay there.”

“Okay,” she whispered, her heart beating so hard she wondered if it could leave an
imprint in the mattress.

The sound of his footsteps receded. He’d left the room, but she didn’t have the guts
to look back to see where he was going. A rummaging noise came from somewhere in the
house, and then Kade was back, his presence seeming to charge the room with static.
Something cool touched her shoulder. She sucked a breath.

“Don’t. Move.”

A metallic edge ran over her skin and under the strap of her bra, sending fear pulsing
through her.
Oh, God.

Kade knew he was pushing it as he ran the dull edge of a knife along Tessa’s skin.
Fire was still running through his veins from earlier. And he needed this more than
Tessa could even understand. But he also was acutely aware of how wrong this could
go if he wasn’t one hundred percent on his game.

He’d learned early on that when a submissive dropped an unintentional hint or said
something then wanted to take it back, more times than not, it was a desire that scared
her. Which meant it was what he most needed to give her. And Tessa had slipped when
she’d said she didn’t want him calm. His anger had affected her in a way she may have
not understood, but he’d seen the reaction.

The little whisper of roughness, of violence, had made her challenge him instead of
shrinking away. And it’d flipped every single one of his dominance switches. He’d
been keeping his sadistic side mostly in check around her because he didn’t want to
scare her. But she’d shown the most important component of all tonight. She
trusted
him. At the most basic level, she knew that she was safe with him.

And then she’d asked for it. Asked for what he so needed in that moment after Doug
had left.
Maybe I don’t want you to be calm
. It had broken open something inside him and the part of him he usually kept locked
away, even at The Ranch, had trampled through the door.

So now when he ran the knife under her bra strap, he prayed that he hadn’t misjudged
her signals. Because he was pushing her far beyond where they’d ever treaded before.
But when he turned the blade, careful to hold the sharper edge away from her skin,
and sliced through the bra strap, the quiet whimper she made was the perfect kind
of fear.

“Brave girl,” he said softly.

“Or a stupid one,” she murmured, her body as still as a stone but her tone sardonic.

He smirked and smacked her across the fleshy part of her thigh. “Not nice to talk
back.”

But in truth he loved that her defenses were rushing up. The more sarcastic she got,
the more he was getting to her and the more what had happened outside was becoming
a distant memory for him. He hooked the band of her underwear with his finger, pulling
them away from her waist, and ran the knife through them. Yes, he could’ve just taken
them off of her. But he knew well how powerful a mental image could be. Cutting her
clothes off sent a clear message—
your things and normal protections are worthless right now, you own nothing, only
I can give and take away
. He set the blade on the dresser and then tugged the scrap of panties away. The satin
was soaked against his palm.

He had to swallow back the groan at the victory. His instincts had been right. “Do
you know what it does to me to see how wet you are right now?”

“You’re a bad, bad man, Mr. Vandergriff.”

He pressed his lips together, trying not to smile, and unhooked his belt buckle. “Keep
up the sarcasm and see how that works out for you.”

At the sound of the leather belt pulling out of the loops, she lifted her head and
peered back over her shoulder. He looped the belt and tucked the buckle into his hand.
All shreds of attitude fell away from her, self-preservation kicking in. “Kade . . .”

“Do you have a vibrator, Tess?”

She blinked. “What?”

“Simple question.”

She pressed her face back into the comforter as if she were too embarrassed to say
it to his face. “Bedside table, top drawer.”

He headed over and pulled the little pink bullet out of its clear box. Simple and
utilitarian. Perfect. What he was about to do to Tessa was not meant to be a punishment.
Even if she didn’t realize that yet. But it certainly would be better with a little
extra motivation.

He walked behind her again and gave her a little pop on her left ass cheek. “Lift
your hips.”

She pushed up on her toes and did as she was told. He rubbed the rounded tip of the
vibe against her slick folds and her fingers curled into her comforter. He hadn’t
even turned it on yet, and already she was desperate for it.

“Put your hands beneath you and hold this against you. Don’t move it away unless I
tell you. Understand?”

“Yes.” She nodded against the sheets and slipped her hands downward, pinning her arms
beneath her body and taking the vibrator with her. She adjusted into a position that
allowed her to hold it where she needed, and he turned it on. She jolted and her knees
buckled slightly before she regained her balance. “God.”

“So keyed up already. But no coming until I tell you.” He coasted his hand over the
curve of her ass, while the belt buckle warmed in his other palm. “Now, ask me to
hit you.”

“What?” Her voice held disbelief. “Why would I ask for it?”

He ran the loop of leather along her spine, barely brushing her skin, and smiled when
she visibly quivered. “Because it’s what you want. You didn’t goad me outside and
tempt me while I was angry, so I’d come in here and be sweet and cuddly. Correct?”

Her back rose and fell with quick but deep breaths. “No.”

“Then ask for what you want, and you may be lucky enough to get it.”

She was quiet a few long seconds, only the soft hum of the vibrator filling the room,
but then she rallied her nerve. “Please hit me. I want you to.”

His blood surged at the admission, his cock throbbing against his zipper and his heart
knocking against his ribs, but he didn’t make a move yet. “Why?”

“Goddammit, can’t you just do it?” she asked, defensiveness edging her voice. “I don’t
want to think about why.”

But he wasn’t in the mood to let her get away with that. What he wanted to do with
her was not for the faint of heart. He needed to hear that this was more than just
curiosity or some show of bravado. “Nope. Try again.”

He could almost hear her gritting her teeth. So stubborn, his Tess. He backed up a
few steps, making sure she could hear his retreat, and that got her. She shifted restlessly
against the bed but started talking. “All my life, everyone’s treated me with white
gloves, like I’m some porcelain doll to be left in the box or I’ll shatter. With foster
parents, they were scared I’d snap and become crazy like my mother. With Doug, he
wanted the untarnished trophy.”

His heart squeezed in his chest at the honest words, and it took everything he had
not to reach out and caress her, but he could tell she wasn’t done.

She turned her head and looked back at him, her gaze stripped clean. “I want you to
hit me because being with you like this makes me feel less fragile. You aren’t afraid
to push me, to break me. And sometimes . . . I wonder how it’d feel to be broken.”

The admission reached inside him and twisted things around into something new, opening
up an ache that echoed through his deepest chambers. He walked forward again and pushed
her hair away from her face. It’d be the last bit of tenderness he’d show her for
a while, but he needed her to know that he’d heard her.
Really
heard her.

She’d gone through life and no one had bothered to leave a mark.

Well, that was about to change.

He let his hand slip away from her face, raised his other arm, and let the belt stripe
across her ass. The sharp curse she made was one of the sweetest sounds he could ever
remember hearing.

He gave her a breath to call a safeword if she needed it, but when none came, he landed
another lash on her backside, creating angry parallel marks on her skin. So fucking
pretty.

“You still with me, girl?” he asked, purposely using a term that had a humiliating
tone to it. He knew she’d never admit it, but verbally taking her down a notch did
something for her. He’d seen it when he teased about the word
slut
being an endearment in his world. And he’d seen it when he called her slave that
night at The Ranch.

“Yes, sir.”

“Good, because I’m not even near done with you.” He let the belt come down again,
this time across the backs of her thighs. “I want you to be thinking of me every time
you sit down for the next few days at the office, remembering how badly you wanted
to be my pretty little slut tonight.”

She groaned with such gritty desire that he had to pause for a second to reel in his
own stampeding desire. He unfastened his jeans to get some space before he had a permanent
zipper imprint on his cock and tugged off his shirt.

“I can just picture you there in your office, my dear brother droning on about some
PR initiative, and you’ll be squirming and wet in your seat while you remember what
it felt like to be under my belt.” He hit her again. “And Gibson will know. Anytime
you wince, he’ll know.”

A soft gasp escaped her.

“Does that bother you?” he asked, his tone teasing as he landed another lash across
her back.

She bowed up at that, and he could see her arms shift to get the vibrator back in
place. Her skin was fully flushed now, a gloss of sweat coating her, and her breath
had gone choppy. She was fighting that orgasm hard. Good.

“Answer me, girl.” He punctuated it with a quick pop on the ass with his free hand,
catching her off guard.

“I—I don’t know if it bothers me.”

He set the belt aside for a second and pressed one palm to her lower back, reaching
between her legs with his other hand. Hot, wet arousal coated his fingers as he tucked
two inside her, the device vibrating against his knuckles through her inner wall.
She clenched around him and whimpered.

“Does it bother you or does it turn you on? Knowing that others know how down and
dirty you can be? That you like to be used?”

She was rocking against his hand as he pumped his fingers slowly into her. He’d wondered
if he’d get a reaction to calling her dirty, but any shame had apparently been left
two near-orgasms ago. “It makes me feel embarrassed . . .”

He could tell that wasn’t the whole answer, but she seemed reluctant to say the rest,
so he helped her out. “And the embarrassment makes you hot.”

She made a desperate sound as he moved a third finger inside her. “Yes. God, none
of this makes sense.”

He smiled. His girl had quite the exhibitionist streak. The things he’d put her through
already would’ve made most girls die of panic. He loved that she could lose that fear
and be free in front of his friends. “Don’t be too embarrassed. Gib’s no stranger
to this world. Your secret is safe with him.”

Without giving her warning, he slipped his fingers from her and picked up the belt
again.