Nantucket Romance 3-in-1 Bundle (65 page)

“But that wasn’t the real reason, I take it,” Nancy said.

“No.”

“What?” Kate whispered, staring at the screen.

“We’ll get back to that in a moment,” Nancy continued. “What were the terms of the arrangement?”

Lucas’s mouth tilted in a smile as if remembering the moment. “There had to be an escape clause. We agreed to remain married for a year.”

“Was there a contract between you? Financial arrangements?”

“It wasn’t like that. We knew each other well enough to trust one another. We kept our finances separate.”

“And no money exchanged hands?”

A pink flushed climbed Lucas’s neck. He looked like a bashful schoolboy. “She didn’t pay me for the honor of being her husband, if that’s what you mean.”

Nancy’s smile made it clear she was captivated by Lucas’s charm.

“Can you define your relationship with Dr. Kate prior to the wedding? Were you lovers, friends . . ?”

Lucas ran his fingers between his neck and collar. “No, we weren’t lovers. I guess you could say we were friends. We spent quite a bit of time together when I renovated her space into an office and apartment. She lived and worked above my shop, so we saw each other frequently.” His smile tilted. “Kate probably would’ve said we were acquaintances. I think I got on her nerves a bit.”

“You say that like you enjoyed it.”

Lucas smiled. “Little bit.”

Kate squeezed the cushion on the back of the recliner, unable to take her eyes off Lucas.

Nancy continued. “You’ve denied being paid to marry Dr. Kate, and you’ve hinted that the reason you gave her was false.” The camera cut to Lucas’s face while Nancy stated the question. “Why
did
you stand in as her groom?”

Lucas looked down at his lap, his smile faltering. He swallowed.

Kate wondered for a long moment if he was going to freeze as he had so long ago on a school gym stage. She found herself pulling for him, wanting to help him formulate an answer.

But then he spoke. “I wanted to help her. If you’d seen her after that phone call—she was panicked. Afraid. Hurt.” Lucas shrugged. “I wanted to help.”

“Why?” Nancy asked.

Kate leaned forward, her breath on hope’s threshold.

He gave a sad little smile. As his head tilted down, his hair fell forward, partially covering his eyes. Then he looked back at Nancy. “I love her,” he said in a throaty voice.

Kate sucked in her breath. She stared into his familiar face and felt an ache behind her eyes.
He loves me? He married me . . . because he loves me? But his parents’ marriage—

The camera stayed on Lucas even though he stopped talking. He was clearly uncomfortable, like he wanted to squirm right out of the starchy suit.

He filled the silence. “When I saw how upset she was, I wanted to fix it for her.” He lifted one shoulder. “Maybe I was a little selfish too. Maybe I thought if she was mine for a year, she’d somehow fall in love with me too.” He shifted, looking away. “I was trying to save her wedding. I guess it was wrong of me to take advantage. She was vulnerable. I came up with the idea and convinced her it was the only solution. If anyone’s to blame, it’s me.”

He went blurry as Kate’s eyes filled. She blinked, not wanting anything blocking her view of Lucas’s face.

The camera cut to Nancy. “In reality, you were only married three months. What was it like?”

“Being married to Kate?” He smiled. “Great. Fun. Challenging.”

“Challenging because . . . ?”

Lucas tugged at his suit coat. “Because I love her. Because I wanted the marriage to be real, and it wasn’t.” He paused, looking down again. “In three months she solved problems that have been in place for years. She’s got this deep well of wisdom . . . I don’t know where it comes from. If something’s broken, she fixes it.”

“Except your heart?”

The camera slowly closed in on Lucas’s face. His jaw clenched, then loosened. “I’m not sure she knows she broke it.”

Nancy smiled. “She does now. It’s fairly common knowledge that Kate left the island shortly after the scandal erupted. Can you give us your thoughts on that?”

Lucas sucked in a breath and blew it out. He shifted.

Kate wanted to brush the hair out of his face, run her palm down his tense jawline and kiss away the frown on his lips.

“I didn’t want her leave. I asked her to stay.”

“But she didn’t.”

“No.”

“Was she still in love with her former fiancé?” Nancy asked.

“I asked her that. She said she wasn’t, and I believed her.”

The camera cut to Nancy as she studied Lucas, a thoughtful expression on her face. “Why are you here today? What do you hope to accomplish?”

“I wanted to tell Kate’s side of the story. I wanted to take responsibility for my part in it . . .” Lucas pulled at his tie.

The camera cut to Nancy. “Anything else?”

Lucas looked down, then met Nancy’s eyes again. “I wanted to tell her what I was afraid to say before she left.”

He swallowed, then looked at the camera, his eyes burning into Kate’s. She locked onto his face, feeling as if he were right in front of her, right now.

Lucas’s chin came up.

Kate watched his lips, waiting.

“I want to tell her I love her,” he said.

Kate put her hand against her chest, squeezed the stiff material of her shirt.

Nancy paused for a full three seconds, letting the words sink in. “On national TV?”

He gave his crooked smile. “I guess I’m laying it all on the line. I love her. I have for a long time, and I always will.” He looked down again.

“That’s a lot of pressure for a girl,” Nancy said.

Lucas shook his head. “Hope not. That wasn’t my intention. Kate’s entitled to make her own choices, to choose her own life. I just want her to have all the facts before she does.”

Nancy said something that tied the story into a neat bow, then signed off. Kate’s dad flipped off the TV. Without the light and noise of the TV, the room fell into darkness and silence. Her mind whirled faster than a carnival ride.

“Well.” Her dad flipped on the lamp.

Kate’s legs felt wooden as she rounded the recliner and sank into it. She was shaking, her hands and legs trembling uncontrollably.
He loves me. He’s loved me from the beginning.

She felt a sudden, inexorable need to talk to him. To see him.

“Do you love him, Kate?” Her dad’s voice broke through her thoughts.

Do I love him?
She remembered the way he held her on the sail-boat when she was sick. Remembered the way he held her when the scandal broke. Remembered how treasured she felt when he looked at her, touched her.

“Yes,” she whispered.

But they were so different. It was why she’d left. She didn’t want to wind up like—

My parents? Well, I’ve already discovered how wrong I was on that one.
It wasn’t their differences that broke them apart but her dad’s disorder.

But even with that understanding, her heart faltered in fear.
What am I afraid of? That I’m going to wind up alone and desperate like Mom?

But I can’t control the future. I can’t even control the present. I just have to make reasonable decisions and hope for the best. Look how meticulously I planned my engagement and wedding. And still, it all fell apart.

Did her obsessive need to plan stem from a desperate desire for control?

Kate remembered the conversation she’d had with Brody that day on the widow’s walk.
“I’m not afraid of heights so much as I’m afraid of falling,”
she’d said. Was that her problem? Why she’d nearly married a man she didn’t love? Why she’d been in such a hurry to leave the man she did love? She was afraid of becoming her mom. Afraid of becoming like the hundreds of women she’d counseled.

Kate gave a wry laugh. Some psychotherapist she was. She was only now figuring out that she was avoiding love.

“You think you should call him?” her dad asked.

What should she do? She wanted to tell him she loved him. She wanted to say she was sorry for leaving. A shiver of fear snaked its way up her spine. What if it didn’t work? What if he broke her heart?

It’s already been broken. Let him heal it.
Her advice to Brody came back to her:
“It’s fear that makes an act courageous.” Do I have the courage to love him back?

Kate straightened. She did. She was ready to put it all on the line, like he had.

But she wanted to do it face-to-face. She wanted to touch him, feel the strength of his arms around her when she said the words.

“I have to go to him,” she said firmly.

Her dad nodded.

She checked her watch. “I can be there by morning if I drive to Hyannis and take the ferry.”

“And drive all night? Kate . . .”

“I have to see him.” She had to tell him she loved him. She could take a flight, but then her car would be here. No, it was settled. She’d never be able to sleep anyway. She might as well spend the night closing the distance between them.

How much we trust others is often a
reflection of how much we trust ourselves.

—Excerpt from
inding Mr. Right-for-You
by Dr. Kate

Chapter Thirty-Three

She didn’t call.

It was impossible to soothe the ache in his gut. Lucas rolled over and stared out the window, where dawn stretched, spreading gray across the midnight canvas. He pulled Kate’s pillow close, inhaling. The scent of her was nearly gone—that subtle lilac scent that perfumed her hair.

He’d been pleased with the interview, relieved that the words had come when he needed them, relieved that he’d survived the interview without cracking under the pressure. After the show aired the night before, he waited, pacing the floor until Bo tired of his excess energy and curled up at the foot of the sofa.

When the phone had rung, his feet made quick work of the distance to the kitchen, and he answered breathlessly, not caring if Kate knew he was waiting for her call.

But it had been his mom.
“Honey, I’m so sorry. I knew you loved her, but I guess I just didn’t realize how much.”
She apologized for treating Kate badly and asked if he’d heard from her.

He didn’t give up hope until after midnight. And even though he turned off the lights and lay in bed, he still couldn’t sleep. His ears strained to hear the phone’s ring. He slept restlessly, awake as much as he was asleep, and now that morning had arrived, his hopes washed away like a sand castle at high tide.

He forced himself from bed, showered, and put on a pot of coffee, draining the first cup like it was medicine for his wounded spirit. When Bo picked up his tennis ball and carried it to the back door, he stood.

“Go for a walk, boy?”

He followed the dog outside, past the gazebo—a constant reminder of Kate and their wedding day. He crossed the beach and turned eastward, tossed the tennis ball into the surf, and watched Bo lumber after it.

Had Kate even watched the show? He knew from her voice mail that she’d been angry when she’d seen the preview. What if she hadn’t watched it?

Worse, what if she had? What if she heard his proclamation of love and didn’t feel the same way? What if he’d accomplished nothing other than publicly humiliating himself?

I’ve done all I can. She knows how I feel now. The rest is up to her.

Bo returned the ball, dropping it in the wet sand at Lucas’s feet. Lucas picked it up and heaved it into the waves before stuffing his hands into his pockets. His fingers wrapped around cool metal. Kate’s wedding band. He ran his thumb around the smooth surface. Its presence comforted him, like he carried a piece of her with him.

Bo turned in a circle, the tennis ball between his teeth, his paws dancing in the foamy sand. The sun glittered off the surface of the water like a million diamonds. When Lucas reached Bo, he tugged the wet ball from his jaws and threw it as far as he could down the shoreline, then followed Bo’s footprints.

Kate stepped off the ferry, her overnight case clutched in her hand. She’d left her car in Hyannis since there was no room on the ferry. Now as the crowd dissipated on the concrete dock, she wondered if she’d be able to get a cab.

She tugged the baseball cap low on her head to avoid recognition and pulled her sweater tighter against the nip in the air. The trees had fully turned, washing Nantucket down in vibrant hues of yellow and red.

Her phone pealed, and she moved to the side of the dock as she pulled her cell from her bag and checked the caller ID. It was Pam. Kate didn’t want to talk business; she wanted to get to Lucas. She was so close.

But her publicity gal wouldn’t call on a Saturday for nothing. Kate answered. “Hi, Pam. How are you?”

“Good. Great. Have you seen the papers?”

Kate had seen nothing all night but the yellow lines on the road. And she’d given little thought to her career or what others would be saying. “No, why?” Kate was almost afraid to know, but Pam didn’t sound dismayed.